Here lies the 2005 New York Mets.
Parts strung about like pieces of Carlos Beltran's sawed off bat after an inside fastball by a mediocre pitcher.
I thought it was just France that made surrendering an art form.
Some Met bloggers took the bright side...that they can make up ground with some home cookin', and that nothing is over under the Mets are mathematically out of it. Believe me I wanted to agree...I wished the Mets could give me a reason tonight.
Well, math is hard.
And the only cookin' going on tonight was that of the Mets' goose being warmed over in the microwave after being marinated, sauteed, deep fried and served with mashed potatoes and corn on the road...the Mets have become a traveling Perkins restaurant.
The Mets could not hit Carrasco, Majewski and Rauch. A law firm! Heck, the Mets couldn't hit Shaevitz or Shaevitz right now.
So this is the end.
In lieu of flowers, please send your checks to the rock climbers association of America...and help prevent future freefalls.
"I'd rather be old and smart than young and stupid." -Brett Hull
What Brett's point was is this: with age is supposed to come wisdom.
(You know where I'm going with this, right?)
How can Jose Offerman be so old yet so stupid?
Bad teams find new and exciting ways to lose...and right now, the Mets are playing like a bad team. And Jose Offerman getting forced out at second base on a line drive up the middle, which was right in front of him, is a new and exciting way to lose. If Jose Offerman can provide anything off the bench, it's wisdom. At least it's supposed to be wisdom. If he can't play smart, then he's useless. The Mets can bring up a young player to come up and be stupid and maybe, oh I don't know, play a freakin' position?
"You don't see Ramon Castro makes mistakes like that." -Fran Healy, referring to Fluff's underhanded toss that landed somewhere near East Elmhurst in the ninth inning.
And now, as promised...