Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Six Games Out, And Six Feet Under

Here lies the 2005 New York Mets.

Parts strung about like pieces of Carlos Beltran's sawed off bat after an inside fastball by a mediocre pitcher.

I thought it was just France that made surrendering an art form.

Some Met bloggers took the bright side...that they can make up ground with some home cookin', and that nothing is over under the Mets are mathematically out of it. Believe me I wanted to agree...I wished the Mets could give me a reason tonight.

Well, math is hard.

And the only cookin' going on tonight was that of the Mets' goose being warmed over in the microwave after being marinated, sauteed, deep fried and served with mashed potatoes and corn on the road...the Mets have become a traveling Perkins restaurant.

The Mets could not hit Carrasco, Majewski and Rauch. A law firm! Heck, the Mets couldn't hit Shaevitz or Shaevitz right now.

So this is the end.

In lieu of flowers, please send your checks to the rock climbers association of America...and help prevent future freefalls.

"I'd rather be old and smart than young and stupid." -Brett Hull

What Brett's point was is this: with age is supposed to come wisdom.

(You know where I'm going with this, right?)

How can Jose Offerman be so old yet so stupid?

Bad teams find new and exciting ways to lose...and right now, the Mets are playing like a bad team. And Jose Offerman getting forced out at second base on a line drive up the middle, which was right in front of him, is a new and exciting way to lose. If Jose Offerman can provide anything off the bench, it's wisdom. At least it's supposed to be wisdom. If he can't play smart, then he's useless. The Mets can bring up a young player to come up and be stupid and maybe, oh I don't know, play a freakin' position?


"You don't see Ramon Castro makes mistakes like that." -Fran Healy, referring to Fluff's underhanded toss that landed somewhere near East Elmhurst in the ninth inning.



And now, as promised...



metswalkoffs said...

Question is...does Offerman get the same treatment that Mike DeJean got earlier this year after he bounced 4 straight 0-2 pitches in the dirt in a big spot? Mustard-man was gone the next day, if I recall right

erik love said...

I only have 1 question...

Why does Awfulman still rock the old Patrick Ewing 'fro?
Has anybody else noticed this?

Metstradamus said...

Mark, that was absolutely unforgivable by Offerman. That was worse than Castro's baserunning goof. I've heard a slight rumbling that Offerman wasn't the most tight-knit clubhouse guy...it might have just been an off-handed remark. But if that's true, like it was with Hitaway throwing Wright under a bus, then he's gone.

Jaap said...

Is this where the fun, experimentational part of the programme finally begins now that the season is over, the pressure off? Why don't we try something creative and interesting like letting Willie Randolph coach third base and bring Art Howe back for the last week of the season to manage just so he can ease us all into our offseason slumbers with his somnambulist speeches and airless clich├ęs?

Metstradamus said...

Yes, it will be "Catch a Rising Star month". Come on out to Shea and remember, the September call-ups of today may very well be the Brewer and Pirate superstars of tomorrow!

Oh, and watch Jose Reyes run.

Kyle in Newport News said...

Counterbalance that with some words from Willie, however. I know the decisions aren't his alone to make, and I also know that this may just be the right thing to say that he has to say -- and not necessarily what he actually means to do:

However, Randolph repeatedly stressed there would be no "auditioning" of players during the final weeks of the season -- his goal is to win as many games as possible. He said that if Hernandez comes up, he wouldn't be placed in the lineup just for the sake of doing so.

"I don't believe in just playing Major League games where you're just looking to look at people," said Randolph. "That's what Spring Training is for."

from the latest Mets.com "Mets Notes"

Metstradamus said...

"win as many games as possible" and "now pinch hitting, Jose Offerman" seems like an oxymoron to me (key word: moron)

Kyle in Newport News said...

Funny, I was thinking paradox. And it's not a paradox, but Willie and Omar might be one, if you swap out the final open back unrounded vowel for a near-close near-front unrounded vowel.

Shari said...

Love this post Mestradamus, as a fellow fan of Six Feet Under I appreciated the humor, plus your very insightful analysis.

Anonymous said...

Omar needs to explain to Willie that as a team that looks like it's gonna finish in last place again we need these games to see who we even want to bring to spring training next year, and who we'd be better off trying to trade in the offseason.

Metstradamus said...

Thanks, Shari! I was a big fan of the show as well.

jdon said...

Yes "Come on out to Shea and watch Jose Reyes run". There is only one reason to go to Shea these days. To avoid listening to, or even accidentally overhearing, Fran Healy broadcast a mets game. I pray he does not come over to Comcast. Hear me, Lord?

G-Fafif said...

From one SFU fan to another:


Metstradamus said...


That was LAUGH OUT LOUD funny!!!! I was thinking of doing something like that so I'm glad you did it.

"Come on out to Shea, and watch the Mets lie in state."

That's the line of the year!!!!!!

G-Fafif said...

Merci, but this team inspires a lot of obituary-writing practice. And you know what they say about practice...

That Jose Offerman missed most of it.

erik love said...

Hey Met$tra, I think i have a lil something for the quotebook.

One youngster who will be getting a good look the rest of the season is first baseman Mike Jacobs, who started the last three games of the road trip and had a key RBI double in Sunday's 7-2 win. The Mets want to see what they have in the 24-year-old before the winter shopping season opens. First baseman Doug Mientkiewicz understands.

"I knew it was going to happen," he said, "as soon as we fell out of the race. This ain't my first rodeo."

That's a good one i think.