Thursday, September 08, 2005

Form Loss

Why am I doing this to myself?

I mean, it's all over, isn't it? Tonight's 5-0 loss to the Cards has basically shown us that the Mets are ready to mail in the

You guys don't need me anymore. You can write your own game will be like "Metstradamus the Home Game". It's easy, all you have to do is fill in the blanks:

Mets Lose Again

The Mets playoff hopes took another blow as they lost today to the _____________ by a score of _-0.

_____________ was the hard luck loser tonight, as he threw shutout ball for 5 innings, but then in the sixth gave up a long bomb to _____________. The bullpen was no help as ____________ came in to gave up ____________'s first major league home run. It was also a tough night for the defense as Kaz Matsui committed his __th error of the season.

But the lineup fizzled again as the lineup could only muster _ hits off of starter and winner ___________________. Cliff Floyd went 0 for _, and Carlos Beltran was thrown out stealing _____ base in a crucial spot in the _______ inning.

The Mets now fall __ games behind the Atlanta Braves for the division, and __ games behind _____________ for the wild card.

I hate ___________.

See, easy.


Mike Francesa is a reader of this blog.

He has to be. Why? Because he commented, in between trying to hold back his giggles and giddyness at the Mets expense that the Mets lost twice against Atlanta last night...which was first noted by yours humbly.

Then he has the gall to say that he doesn't hate the Mets. For someone who enjoyed talking about Wednesday's collapse as much as he, that's a tad hard to believe.

Well as long as you're a reader Mike, here's something for you to read:

Burn in hell you giggling Yankee apologist!!! And take Mad Dog Benitez with you!

Steal that for your little show.


G-Fafif said...

Dude, the GMs are T'ing A tonight.

(That's great minds thinking alike, not Steve Phillips and his colleagues chasing tail.)

And if I may use this forum to be far more inelegant than I normally allow myself to be, Francesa BLOWS! May he choke on it. And may Bill Parcells still walk away dissatisfied.

Thank you.

Metstradamus said...

You may always be inelegant here.

And your link was, quite honestly, the inspiration for what I wrote tonight (I remembered it from way back when). So it isn't so much great minds thinking's more like me running out of original ideas.

G-Fafif said...

If I've served to inspire Metstradamus in any "form" or fashion, then I've done more good than I ever dreamed.

Your next step is stay up all night, drink diet soda and obsess on your adolescence like somebody really cares about it.

Don't feel bad about being at a loss for original ideas, not when our team keeps trotting out "let's pitch just well enough to lose by a little and hit badly enough to leave no doubt." It's getting a little formulaic, wouldn't you say?

Metstradamus said...

I've gotta save something for the offseason!

Anonymous said...

I have a problem with the hate list for today. Why is Kerry Collins there? You knew the Raiders were going to lose so why do you put him up there? Nevermind, I know why...Giants 41, Vikings 0.


erik love said...

Yes, It does seem like everyone has a Hate List.....You better get it copyrighted....If you even created the damn thing.

Shari said...

Well it was fun while it lasted, but I knew going into Atlanta they would come out of there 10 games out in the division and God knows how much out of the wild card.

Metstradamus said...


Kerry Collins is a moron.

If he just tucks the ball away the Raiders cover. He's a moron.

And you're a hump.


Mets Guy in Michigan said...

Nice fill-in-the-blank! Bad ass.

And is Francesa openly on the Yankees payroll?

Anonymous said...

I think that you should stop betting with your heart...I know you hate the Pats especially when Master Bill resigned as HC of the NYJ. Be smart, pal....your the hump!!!!!

erik love said...

Does Met$tra have a gambling problem?

Metstradamus said...

Only when I lose.

And Mario I hope Dallas beats you 52-3...twice!

Kyle in Newport News said...

On the bus today I read the short story, "The Streak," from Walter Dean Myers's 145th Street. It's the story of a teenage boy who costs his basketball team the game on a flubbed lay-up, then shatters a bottle of WonderAde in the locker room, then accidentally shatters a slide to earn a 0 in biology class, and on and on. His friend Froggy explains to him that some people are streakers, and that as soon as the bad luck ends he'll have just as much good luck. Well, it works! And he even wins the next basketball game and the girl he wanted to ask to the dance asks him. Here's Froggy's explanation, which ends with a line straight from Willie Randolph's playbook.

"Froggy, I give up, man," I said. "I'm on a death streak and I know I'm probably headed right on out the world."
"No, man, the streak is going to end," Froggy said.
"Yeah, when I'm dead."
"No," Froggy said. "Just like you missed the shot and lost the baseball game--"
"Basketball game," I said.
"Whatever. Anyway, something dramatic can happen and the whole thing will turn around. Then you'll have as much good luck as you had bad luck."
"What you mean by dramatic?" I asked.
"Hey, when it happens," Froggy said, "you'll know it."

¡Necesitas crees!

Metstradamus said...


Someone has to either get released or kidnapped for us to know it.

But funny you went the book route...I kind of did the same thing.