Monday, September 12, 2005

Random Off-Day Spewing

I knew there was a reason I hated Julian Tavarez.

I knew that when Tavarez hit Mike Piazza in the head that the first thing that popped into my head was "Figured it would be Tavarez".

What I needed was a reminder just as to why I wasn't surprised.

Well, thanks to Jaap Stijl, a blogger who wakes up at 5AM in the morning to watch the Mets (now that's dedication...I didn't know there were games at 5AM...I didn't know there was a 5AM!) because he resides in the United Kingdom, I have my reminder. He put together a great rap sheet on Tavarez. I couldn't have written it any better myself:

Julian Tavarez a sinkerball pitcher, maintained he lost command of a fastball he wanted to throw inside but unfortunately, his career is a highway littered with emotional outbursts and we know better than to believe him.

When he was with the SF Giants, he once drilled Oakland catcher Mike Macfarlane in the back because he'd been pounded for six hits and four runs in a third of an inning outing against the A's. He got into a fight with San Francisco third baseman Russ Davis, spin-kicked him during a spring training game for which he was suspended five games.

When he was with the Cubs, he was fined by them for making comments derogatory toward gays in San Francisco after getting showered with abuse by the fans there because they already hated him so much."Why should I care about the fans?" Tavarez notoriously said after the game against the Giants whilst with the Cubs. "They're a bunch of a**holes and faggots here."

And since he's been with the Cardinals, he has already suffered one 10-game suspension for getting caught with having a "foreign substance" on the bill of his cap. And in last season's playoffs against Houston, he broke his left hand after surrendering a homerun to none other than Carlos Beltran in Game 4 of the NLCS and punching the dugout phone when the inning was over. The pitch right after Beltran's homer he threw over Jeff Bagwell's head. He has had tantrums against umpires, punched dugout walls and should hope LaRussa doesn't send him out as a pinch hitter in today's game.

You know in England, "faggots" are actually meatballs...which I believe is Shingo Takatsu's change of pace pitch, (which in itself is a derisive term).

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It's worth noting that since Jeff Francoeur made the cover of SI, he's hitting .236 with 2 HR's and 7 RBI's in 15 games.

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This comment came recently from jdon:
The mets (intentionally not capitalized) went out and signed some good free agents this year but they still do not have an everyday player who will grab someone by the ears and shake him when he needs it. Instead they brought in the Cheshire Cat (Beltran). They need a serious personality transplant in the dugout. A Keith Hernandez type if you will. Any ideas? I don't care as much about chemistry as I do about accountability.
Personality?

Accountability?

Someone who will grab someone by the ears and shake him when he needs it?

There's only one man who I can think of who possesses all of those qualities:

...and I don't think he can hit a curve ball.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

If there is any man who can hit a curveball, it is Mark Messier...
God Bless You Mark and Thanks for the memories...1994 never shined so brighter as it does right now.

Mario

Metstradamus said...

Metstradamus predicts that he will have a ticket to the January 12th, 2006 game when number 11 heads to the rafters...Metstradamus also predicts that Mario will not get a ticket.

Awwwwwwwwwwww. Too bad, thanks for playing. That's what you get for moving to California and clipping the wire causing a blackout. Ha ha.

Anonymous said...

If you want someone who can stand up and be accountable for this team, it would be none other than Lou Pinella. Some fire in the dugout, some fire on the field, maybe it would light a fire under each and every member of the team that wears the embroidered interlocking NY in orange/black on their hats. Get Willie outta here! His future is NOT now. He belongs with the Yankees so he can take his tired act over there and maintain Joe Torre-like cadaver presence.

jdon said...

I was actually hoping it would be a player. I think Piniella is a good baseball man who is teetering on the edge of sanity. Watching Yankee-TB games has become annoying. The cameras flash on the guy every two minutes. Poor guy can't even pick his nose when he wants to. No wonder he is so angry. Now Messier wouldn't be bad, curveball or not. Victor Diaz can't it a curveball. Or so Tom Seaver keeps saying. Of course he hit one Sunday right after Seaver said he couldn't. So Seaver then officially declared that he had just hit a fastball for a HR. Do you think Seaver brings some of his vintage into the booth? I do. I hear Healy and Seaver may not make the journey to Comcast next year. I won't exactly cry about that. About in your face guys, though, is Chipper Jones a free agent? I think he is actually a closet met fan. Just kidding. A little sacrilege cannot hurt at this stage.

Metstradamus said...

Chipper will not become a Met until he's 43 to hit his 500th career HR as a Met, then he'll retire after he crosses the plate with the middle finger up towards the crowd.