Monday, September 19, 2005

Honey, I'm Home!

Wife: Honey, is that you?
Husband: Yeah, it's me.
Wife: Where've you been?
Husband: Out walking.
Wife: Oh...(long pause) were with her, weren't you?
Husband: No.
Wife: Oh come on! Do you take me for a fool? I just don't do it for you anymore, do I?

I lived this conversation today. You see, this was my mistress.

My wife? The New York Mets.

Yeah, I cheated today. I cheated on the old ball and chain that I have been trying to reconcile with since April 4th. But while the Mets are the old standby that will always be there, my mistress is that once a week fling that gives me that exciting three hour date that's full of surprises.

So I cheated. I missed the Mets. I missed Tom Glavine's complete game. I missed Cliff Floyd's two run HR. I missed Victor Diaz batting second. I missed Anderson Hernandez's major league debut where he left 5 men on base.

The Mets make me a beautiful roast and I'm out having cocktails with my mistress. I come home and the roast is cold.

I do feel bad.

I feel like I have cheated on all of you.

Here are some flowers.

I'm will not happen again.

(fingers crossed behind back)


metswalkoffs said...


In the interest of giving your readers full disclosure regarding your poll question, should it not be noted that Tom Glavine is 3-20 against the Marlins, Phillies and Braves as a Met?

This is why people at work have nicknamed him "The Spy."

Metstradamus said...

Yes, it should be duly noted.

A Brett said...

Fun stuff Metsradamus. Glad to see at least some Mets fans have a sense of humor. I saw your link to our Brave-O-Matic website and wanted to say thanks. Hope you'll check in, and maybe drop us some snarky comments, during the play-offs. Being insulted is better than being ignored on the blogs.

Anonymous said...

Hi Metsradumus-What you need is a new best friend to cover you with your wife when you are with your mistress: TIVO.

Anonymous said...

So if the Mets are your wife and the Jets your mistress....what will you call the $tranger$?


Metstradamus said...


They're the cheap trick.

Metstradamus said...

a brett,

I think I can handle providing snarky comments!

Thanks and welcome!

G-Fafif said...