Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The Goose Is Cooked

The Atlanta Braves made baseball history tonight...

For the first time ever, the Braves completed a four game sweep in a three game series.

The Mets lost twice tonight.

Do you want to know why life is cruel? Then pop tonight's game in the VCR and you'll get a pretty good idea why. Winning this game would have helped the Mets' chances...oh, maybe a little. But losing it...and the way they lost it...on the same day that future Mets closer Billy Wagner gives up a ninth inning jack to Craig Biggio to set the Mets back five games in the wild card, was 1,000 kicks to the groin by a rabid mule wearing spiked hooves.

The Mets didn't need to lose this way. I mean, we all knew it was coming. A nice 6-1 loss would have been sufficient...then we could have said "well, Tom Glavine can't beat the Braves anyway...oh well. It's football season." But Glavine was phenomenal tonight. Angel Hernandez featured a "turn back the clock" strike zone and Glavine took full advantage. He came with it, and deserves all the credit in the world.

But then the Mets had to go and lose twice in one game and stomp all over the hearts of their fans with steel toed boots.

Oh, and Braden Looper gets credit for both losses.

I can't defend him anymore...and I've tried. I've tried to extol the virtues of Braden Looper: the fact that he doesn't whine like Armando Benitez when he blows a save and reporters have the audacity to talk to him. The fact that he throws at hitters to protect his teammates, and not to throw a hissy fit. The fact that statistically he's far from the worst closer in the league. And I still believe in all of that...espcially the fact that Braden Looper is definitely not the worst closer in the league.

That's because Braden Looper is not a closer.

I now realize it. It has sunk in. Looper's closer status is as cooked as the Mets season right now. He just doesn't have the ability to get lefties out. And he doesn't have the electric fastball (Billy Wagner anyone?) to hide the fact that his pitches have no movement. The white flag is up on that one for me. He's done.

He's still not the enemy. He's not Armando Benitez. You can't just be any Johnnie come lately and take over Armando Benitez's spot as one of the most hated men ever to wear a Mets uniform. Closers blow games...all of them. Looper is no different. Yes, Looper has blown some spectacular games...but not with the talent of Armando Benitez...and not a World Series game. So as bad as Braden Looper is, he's still not even close to the level of World Class Choke Artist as Armando Benitez is.

But he's not a closer...I admit it. My white flag is up on that one. I'm done defending him. He's done as the Mets closer.

And the 2005 Mets are also done. Show's over. Thanks for coming. Drive home safely. See you in Port St. Lucie for the next meaningful game.


Meanwhile, here is what you'll see come March 6th as the New York Mets network comes on the air...

"Hi, this is Chipper Jones...and you're watching the Mets Network...Hi Shea!"

He already owns the Mets...and by the time the winter comes, he'll own the network too.


Kyle in Newport News said...

I never thought I'd laugh at the sight of Chipper Jones; thank you. As for Looper not being a closer, the ESPN2 announcer was right on when he commented after Looper's departure: "What we just saw from Looper was the exact opposite of closing."

That one was good for a few laughs. Harsh, nervous, hateful laughs, but laughs nonetheless.

Mets Beast said...

Looper is quite possibly the worst thing that could have happened to a team in desperate need of a closer. I mean I think Aaron Heilman could close better! He threw a 91 MPH fastball right down the middle to somebody (I forgot who and forgot what happened) but the ball had absolutely no movement! I could've hit it! Heck, I'm known for my defense and I could probably hit everything that redneck throws!

metswalkoffs said...

There is some good humor to be found in Armando Benitez giving up a game-tying HR against the Dodgers at 1:25 a.m. eastern...

Rough day to be a closer...

Metstradamus said...


And yes it is.

erik love said...

Hey Metstra, I have my NFL Weekly pick's up if you interested....

..The fact's are that Looper is a Right handed Specialist. I also blame Willie for sendin looper back out there.

Raider's, Pat's. Who ya got?

Anonymous said...

what the FUCK was willy thinking leaving pooper in for the 10th??? pooper is not a closer, he is an opener.. opens the door for the opposition.... i lay this loss squarely @ willy's feet... i defended "jared" from subway before.. but now.. im fuckin done with him and his god damn gut feelings.. those arent gut feelings jared.. its your stomach wanting a fresh toasted subway sandwich...

Joe said...

Let me try this again . . . the Mets are done. It's over. Hasta la vista baby. I throw up the white flag.

If it makes anyone feel better, I have a 'friend' who is a braves fan. I beat him with a sock of pennies after last nights game.

Jaap said...

Well done again Metsra - another admirable blogging performance.

So do the two losses for the price of one mean no one has to go to the season closing game against the Rockies?

Wonder how much say Mrs Chipper had in naming her daughter after the (what was it second or third worse?) stadium in baseball...

Keep up the fine work.

jdon said...

Looper's stuff stinks--he is a one trick pony and it is a lame trick--a sinker that doesn't sink. He has awful mechanics and no command and still he has saved some games-so how tough can it be? Just kidding about that last remark. Willie should have bailed on him last night after the game. When doe he get tough? When does somebody pay for failure on this team? When does he move Car-lost out of the three-hole? Ah well. It doesn't matter any more.

Metstradamus said...


That gives new meaning to the term "striking it rich". I don't condone violence, but good job.


Thank you sir!

No, they still have to show up. But the Mets will charge half off of all Braden Looper memorabilia, they will give away Ryan Langerhans lithos...and there will be a special Chris Woodward video tribute after the game.

And according to, Shea was the WORST ball park in the majors.


I believe your question was "When does somebody pay for failure on this team?"

The answer is simple: Somebody already has paid for Mets failure.