No Catcher Left Behind

"Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy." -John Denver

Well it's no wonder that the Mets are making crazy predictions about World Series and what not. All this sun is making them giddy. And who could blame them after all the snow we've had here lately, and all the rotten they've had for three years.

World Series predictions? Hell, why not. Why not be excited for a day? We have the whole summer to chastise the Mets for their mouths writing checks that their OPS can't cash. We all like to talk about "hope springs eternal" and all of the lovely prose that goes with the first official day of spring training (which when you really think about it, is a date that holds less and less significance every year with the truckloads of players that report early every year, not to mention the extended spring training that was July through September last season), so why not throw some wacky predictions around for a day? That's what the official first day of spring training is for. Optimism

After that, of course, all bets are off. Especially when all of the progress made over the next month and a half are in the abstract. The season is full of wins and losses. The off-season can be easily measured in statistics, dollars, and happy-to-be-heres. Spring training? Lots of stretching. Lots of games scouted by Buffalo. Real indications of how the season is going to play out? Not from John Maine pitching against Broward County Community College (nice one, Brad). No, no real clues unless Ryan Church comes to recreate his carom off Marlon Anderson, or Omar Minaya signs five more catchers to complete his controversial gene splicing experiment to see if he can create Joe Mauer from the DNA of Josh Thole, Rod Barajas, Chris Coste, Gary Carter, Manny Sanguillen, Jack Clements, three sheep and a turkey club sandwich. Then we'll all have a clue as to whether we're doomed to misery or not.

Until then, we can dream ... at least until Kelvim Escobar goes for that inevitable MRI.

I Bring Perspective

So wait a minute ...

Mike Leach gets fired at Texas Tech because he put Adam James in a dark equipment shed after a concussion.

Meanwhile, a dark equipment shed would have been like an all inclusive resort to Ryan Church, who is still waiting for someone to be fired after not only being put on an airplane to Denver after a concussion, but having his toughness publicly questioned.

Why didn't this hit me sooner?

Snoop Manuel should hope that he never finds himself locked in a dark equipment shed with Church.

What Have You Learned? Jerry Manuel

What Have You Learned is our very special off-season series that will outline what you've learned, what I've learned, and hopefully what the 2009 Mets have learned about themselves, others, and 2010. Today, we put on our gangsta colored glasses and take a look at our manager, Snoop Manuel.

"You play to win the game" -Herman Edwards

"Oh crap, we're 25 games out, maybe I should manage to win." -Snoop Manuel, in not so many words

It surprises me when I go back and look at the game logs of guys like Ryan Church and Daniel Murphy, and see that Church really didn't have as many games off in the early part of the season as it seemed, and that Murphy, who seemed to have a spot on the bench way too often in favor of Fernando Tatis, led the 2009 Mets in games played with 155 (a feat that should be worthy of some special award akin to a purple heart ... maybe a Golden Needle or something.)

Somehow, Jerry Manuel did it with smoke and mirrors ... that's it. But not the same smoke and mirrors that the Cardinals surely thought Davey Johnson used to win in '86. No, Snoop had to go to his smoke and mirrors after everyone got hurt, and had to go to the hospital for smoke inhalation.

It's the only way I could explain it. The stats say otherwise, but what my eyes saw and what my ears heard told me that Snoop Manuel isn't the man for this job. You probably could have figured it out from the angry tone I had been taking near the end of the season, but I've been convinced that Manuel isn't the man to lead this team to the next decade. And it has nothing to do with the impatience that us New York fans are accused of.

Any manager that treats spring training like the end of the world (the 80-pitch drill), April-August like spring training (too worried about getting guys like Gary Sheffield at-bats when the full complement was healthy, pitching guys out of the pen for seven days straight and then letting them rot for weeks), and treats a meaningless September like the World Series (for example, putting Frankie in a game down by a run in the ninth, then bringing him back for a save the next night which he promptly blew in nuclear fashion) is not the gangsta for this job. And I'm done with the injury excuse. Too many games were being lost in ways where the injuries were a non-factor.

While I'm worried about throwing away 2010 before 2009 is over, our friends at Mets Today point out that it was the same deal last year, meaning that while we didn't know it, 2009 was thrown away before 2008 was over.

"He (Manuel) emphasized the need for his players to practice the skills that produce victories not necessarily those that 'help you statistically'". -10/4/2008

How'd that work out for you there, Snoop? Did the team fall short of those expectations? Or could it have been a failure of epic proportions? Probably closer to the latter, don't ya think? Obviously, Snoop has learned absolutely nothing.

If it was just the ineptitude, I'd be more willing to lean on the injuries as a crutch. But when you have a manager that never seemed to be on the same page with his players (Snoop: "Oh, Jose had a good run today." ... Jose: "I ran? When?"), and threw them under the bus (or the tractor) at every opportunity, when does it get old? It got old with Willie Randolph ... and upon further review, how much of the rift between Randolph and his roster was caused by Tony Bernazard sneaking around the clubhouse undercutting him at every turn? When does this get old? The next time he blames Oliver Perez's 58 walks in 19 innings on bad defense? Or maybe when he blames David Wright's next slump on not getting enough sleep?

Let me segue from that to a cautionary tale, if I may: If Manuel actually came out and said that David Wright wasn't getting enough sleep, and Wright said that was ridiculous, might I say you'd rip Manuel a new one? Might I say ... rightly so? But this actually happened before. Which manager was the culprit of this?

The same manager everyone seems to want back to right this ship: Bobby Valentine.

Listen, I love Bobby V. Loved him ever since he told me he liked my banner on Banner Day 1984, when he was just nodding at everyone else (dammit, if he was one of the judges, I would have won for sure). But know that with Bobby Valentine comes these kind of motivational tactics that wouldn't fly with star players ... it didn't fly back when it was Todd Hundley, and it certainly wouldn't fly now. For Bobby Valentine to come here and make it work, it might take breaking up some core, and that will frighten some of you ... because Valentine is someone who is at his best when he's doing more with less. You can't have it both ways. Valentine would be a great option to have back here, but let's not forget his flaws too.

Someone else who does more with less is Tony La Russa. That's right, The Genius. And it seems that the genius might be available soon along with the pitching coach that turned Joel Pineiro and Kyle Lohse into valuable members of society let alone halfway decent pitchers. Now ... put yourself in the owners' shoes. You've basically ensured that Snoop is coming back next season, but Tony La Russa might be available. Now what? Do you let him go to the Reds and work for Walt Jocketty because you've made a commitment to Snoop? Or do you make yourselves look like the ones who went back on a promise to bring in La Russa? After all, it's not like playing the fool is a new role.

So barring a change of heart by ownership (good luck), what must Snoop learn in 2010? Learn that games in September are only important to win when you have a chance to win. That you only break the glass that contains Fernando Tatis only in case of emergency. And that spring training is in March, not May. And that bad defense doesn't cause Oliver Perez to walk home an entire ballpark. It's the other way around.

And keep your head on a swivel. You never know who's gaining on you.

The Stench Of Inactivity

When Nick Evans strode to the plate for the first time in 11 days after being kept in some sort of storage, the scent of mothballs and Sucrets was palpable. It was too much for Tim Byrdak to take, as it reminded him of his grandmother's room. He threw a meatball down the middle and Evans launched it for a triple.

But what people don't know is that the only reason Evans even reached the plate to pinch hit is that Snoop Manuel was distracted by the most recent webisode of The Office. That Snoop, always looking for new material. But despite Evans' appearance the Mets still won Friday's game, allaying Manuel's irrational fears that letting Evans on the field will lead to not only certain loss, certain death, and the firing of the manager, but cause the whole Citi Field foundation to crumble.

Oh wait, that was Ryan Church that caused that.

In other news, Yankee fans are apparently grumbling to their cult leader that Ron Darling is announcing their first round playoff games. Oh, wait a minute ...



Okay, I'll hear your complaints now.

Enough Money For One Lousy Beer

I hope for Alexi Panos' sake that she's not still doing "Beer Money" when she's 45 years old.

But if she is, she'll have that ace question in the hole where she'll ask the contestant du jour to name as many players who got a hit during the inning where they set a club record with ten. She could even tell them that the year was 2009. And the guesses will inevitably include luminaries such as Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, and perhaps even Ryan Church.

Heck, some would even guess Keith Hernandez before they guess Luis Castillo, Jeff Francoeur, Gary Sheffield, Omir Santos, Anderson Hernandez, Angel Pagan, Fernando Tatis, and freakin' Oliver Perez.

That's right, the largest inning of offensive juggernaution (no, it's not a word) includes those last eight names ... and yes, Oliver Perez is one of them. If you can truly cause death by paper cuts, then that's a textbook murderers row. But the record inning does not include Daniel Murphy, who made two of the three outs in that inning and should really be ashamed of himself ... because now he'll be benched for the rest of the homestand knowing Snoop.

Of course, I missed the damn inning ... partly because of just plain "stuff", but partly because I was in no rush to get back to the television after Perez gave up a bomb to Adam LaRoche to give the Braves a 4-0 lead, and I launched into some sort of song where the lyrics "I hate you Ollie" were prominent, and stormed off to go on a string of activities ... not the least important of which was dinner. What happens? They set records. The team who's about seven injuries away from me playing left field set a franchise record. I missed it. I suck.

Not that the record or the win makes me feel any better. In May I would have been reassured by Oliver Perez beating Derek Lowe ... "hey, looks like the Mets made the right choice, eh?" Now? It's only part of the cruel irony of 2009. It's like slaying the dragon ... when you're 100 games out. Because Ryan Church will leave New York at the end of the series still trying to make the playoffs, while Snoop Manuel will be trying to avoid Jeff Wilpon in the hallways.

Speaking of:

Mets manager Jerry Manuel's support system is eroding. First, his main backer, Tony Bernazard, the top aide of GM Omar Minaya, was fired. Now we're hearing that Minaya is about to be "reassigned," and John Ricco will be promoted to the GM job, an indication that the owner's son, Jeff Wilpon, wants to expand his involvement in day-to-day duties.

Oh, that's the solution to this mess ... more Wilpon. Why didn't I think of that? I feel better already. Hey when you "reassign" Minaya, can you please assign him to my apartment to slit my wrists with a plastic spoon while Alexi Panos asks me to name all the pitchers that have had a no-hitter after leaving the Mets? Thanks.

Thumbelina

When the Mets signed Alex Cora, they did so on the same day that Derek Lowe went to the Braves. I then compared Cora to a bag of Funyuns.

Yeah, here's the thing: I like Funyuns. Always have. Cora had more nutritional value to the Mets than Funyuns have when I eat them.

But don't go running to the stores to load up on them, they're out of stock for ten weeks. Yes, Alex Cora is out for the season with not one, but two bad thumbs. Which begs the question: how in the world did he hit a home run in San Diego with two busted thumb ligaments? And can we have a banner hung in left field to honor that?

In other news, Livan Hernandez's thumb ligaments are fine ... it's just his stuff that's out for the season, as another hitter in a deep slump comes to New York and finds his stroke in a 10-1 loss to the Giants. The season has gotten so bad, and fans have gotten so upset that they're now raucously cheering one-out walks to Andy Green while down by nine runs in the ninth. They've become so mad that they're happy, and the whole foundation is collapsing upon itself. The Mets will be physically rehabbing in the offseason, while their fans will be rehabbing with hours and hours of intense therapy. Good eye, Andy.

In even more news, Jeff Wilpon had to perform more damage control as he personally travelled to Buffalo to apologize for making Bison fans miserable watching the one team which might be less fun to watch than the Mets.

"There's disappointment in the fan base and ownership here as well as ownership in New York with how they've performed. We have to fix that. It's something we want to do better and we will do better for the city of Buffalo and for the Mets. It's good business to do better and it's also the morally right thing to do because Buffalo has opened its arms to us and we really appreciate that."

So basically what he's saying is that the team that he gave to Buffalo is an affront to Jesus, who is probably pissed off that somehow, Mike Lamb still has work. But funny how good business comes before morals in that statement. Money, then values. Of course.

Wilpon also went on to apologize to the city of Buffalo for jobs lost due to the recession, the state government, Oliver Perez's rehab starts, Brett Hull being in the crease, lake effect snow, Scott Norwood, Patrick Kane punching the cab driver, and Terrell Owens' reality show. He hinted that all of those events were somehow caused by Ryan Church.

Check All Their Brains For Bruises

I didn't mean to be back so soon, but I finally got to read the actual quotes regarding the concussions of David Wright and Ryan Church that our fearless leader came up with today, so I wanted to relay them to you while underlying the fact that our manager is slowly becoming the Gangsta Art Howe:

"You have to be careful into stereotyping individuals. David is a different animal, so to speak. How he is made up is a little different than, say, Ryan Church, in my opinion. That's not to say that one is better than the other, but they're different. With Ryan, there was always something thrown from leftfield - 'We need to check that.' That made it somewhat difficult to evaluate that particular situation."

Check that ... Art Howe was never this petty. Clueless, at times. Petty, never. It took a beanball to bring out the truth but here it is. Laid out on the table ready for you to ingest and then puke.

So the question is this: What makes this different than the Minaya/Rubin situation? Well for one, Rubin was around to defend himself. Ryan Church is in Atlanta preparing for a rain delay, and probably never saw this coming.

Manuel was probably intending to pay a compliment to Wright, calling him "tough" and what not, but ended up blasting Church in the process, making him look like a sniping ingrate. Gee, maybe the "particular situation" was "difficult" because he had a freakin' concussion!!! Concussions, by nature, are difficult. And guess what, tough brains bruise in much the same way as brains that are "thrown from left field".

If Ryan Church was bad in the clubhouse, if he stole his teammates' iPods and programmed them to play only Leo Sayer songs, if he dangled babies off the roof of Citi Field, say so. Clue us in on the joke as to why he was such a bad guy. Until then, he's gone. You jerked him around, then you traded him. Let it go. And stop dancing around the issue and being all coy. It makes you look petty, and petty is not a good look. Petty, combined with absolutely wrong, is a fashion faux pas.

And people wonder why there's no faith in leadership.

Second Verse, Same As The First?

For those who didn't see the 4,927 commercials on SNY, Thursday night's return from the All-Star break was "Mets at the Movies" where you could have watched the game against the Braves at three different locations with three different big screens. And you couldn't have picked a better game for a screenwriter, what with the shunned facing the chosen yet tortured on the mound ... and the two guys traded for each other facing their former teams for the first time.

But while some of you were getting your popcorn ready, I'm glad I didn't waste my money watching this crap in a theater, because I thought the ending was too predictable. It was like Ski School 4 or Waterworld. I'll wait for the director's cut DVD release with the deleted scenes of Ryan Church flexing in a mirror and doing one armed push-ups on a rusty bar like Clubber Lang, and Snoop Manuel practicing his latest laugh for future post-game news conferences ... it's a cross between Vincent Price from Thriller and DeNiro from Cape Fear.

Funny that as we're looking for new members for our "Hall of Hate" (have you voted yet), sometimes there's nothing like a classic. And when you're talking about the original team of the damned, Larry Jones might be wearing the "C". He showed why ... again.

And it didn't take long for the Phillies to gain another game on the Mets, which would make them a Harry Potter movie to our King Ralph.

Frenchy Is Peachy, But ...

Mike Bordick also started his Mets career well.

I was getting into the whole Jeff Francoeur thing too ... "Hey, two for four! Two RBI's! Look like line drives in the box score! Frenchy's always smiling! Maybe I was wrong!" Then I was reminded of Mike Bordick hitting a home run on the first pitch he ever saw as a Met before he fell off the face of the planet.

So not only was the liquid in my half full glass emptied on to the floor, the glass was smashed to the floor, and I was made to lick the mess up with my tongue before being made to watch Donne Wall's career highlights on DVD. (Luckily, that last part only took 36 seconds. But it was painful nonetheless.)

But Frenchy did have a good debut. I'll give him that.

Frenchy Flag

We can deduct two things about this Church for Francoeur trade:

The first thing we know now is that the white flag has been raised on the 2009 season. Because for an offense that has just been shut out for the third time this week, the remedy for that most certainly is not to trade a .280/.332/.375/.707 hitter for a .250/.282/.352/.634 hitter. Screw sabermetrics, this one is basic math.

And we also now know that at some point during this 2009 season, the Mets will be no-hit.

Yes, I believe this is an awful trade. But I really want to try to take more of a pragmatic, even handed view with this. For example, at first sight I went and blasted the Carlos Delgado trade, and blasted the original Ryan Church trade. I've since bought merchandise featuring both players. So I have to be just a little careful.

We all knew a Church trade was inevitable. Honestly, I thought that Church might have weathered the trade winds since he got this far, but the trade doesn't surprise me apart from the destination. But I can't get over the fact that Church has just been so mismanaged in his entire time here that it's a shame how the Mets completely wasted him. From the concussion misdiagnosis to being benched after starting the season on a hot streak to get Gary Sheffield at-bats, to putting him in center field for no real good reason except maybe to showcase his invented versatility for the Braves. And you know with a manager that doesn't hate him and will play him, there's no reason to think that Church isn't going to finally find a groove ... just in time for when the Mets are in Turner Field to face the Braves after the break.

"Shocker. Came out of nowhere. The good thing is I get to play these guys next week. They're going to have to change up a lot of signs. I know everything," Church said. "I'll definitely fill them in." -Ryan Church, after sending a text to Larry Jones and officially joining forces with the enemy

Signs? You need baserunners for signs to matter, and the Mets can't spell "baserunner". Get ready for Church to go 19-for-21 next week with five HR's.

As for Frenchy, he was in a very similar situation as Church was ... at odds with the manager and GM before getting his wish and being traded. And the rift between Francoeur and Braves management must have been wider than the gulf between Church and Snoop. To get the Braves to not only trade a former big-time prospect within the division, but an Atlanta native to the Mets is really something. Finally, a river wide enough.

Francoeur, just like Church, will come to a team that appreciates him (for now), and will play him constantly. That might not be a good thing. The Mets hope that the change of scenery will help Frenchy (and we saw how well that worked for Wade Redden), but it might be a case where the mind is willing but the batting eye is just too anxious. I think he will be just as motivated as Church will be to stick it to his former team, but for Francoeur to be successful his whole approach has to be revamped. And it's a little too late in the season to expect that 80 pitches in 80 seconds drill to do any good this year. So guess what: Francoeur is going to be a horror show this season.

The hope is for next season and beyond. And that's a hope against hope. The one thing I can say is that at least ... at least this could be a sign that the Mets are thinking about fielding a younger, more athletic team in the foreseeable future instead of rummaging through the bargain bin at Target looking for used tubes of toothpaste and impressing people by actually getting toothpaste out of them. But think about it this way: If they managed to mismanage a veteran like Church, how do you think they're going to turn a young Jeff Francoeur into the feared middle of the order hitter he was destined to be not long ago? Do you really have confidence that this is going to happen?

Bottom line: It didn't have to come to this. Even if 2009 is a wash, Church could have been a piece of the puzzle in 2010 and 2011 when everyone was healthy again. But because of Snoop's puzzling disinterest in him and because of all of the other stuff that Church had to go through with the concussions and what not, he was bound to be traded. Frenchy, who Buster Olney thought was a candidate to be non-tendered at the end of the season (seriously ... even Olney was flustered when the news broke of the trade ... that's how bizarre it is) had better find himself before 2011 when he becomes a free agent, and the Mets had better find a way to make sure he becomes the ballplayer he has the potential to be. This means not benching him in favor of Fernando Tatis after Francoeur gets three hits the night before. Or else there will be plenty of blame to be thrown around for 18 months of Ryan Church's baseball life (and our collective baseball watching lives) wasted by people with a hidden agenda.

And apropos of nothing, but fitting nonetheless, don't you find it ironic that Church's last official act as a Met is to join his new team by flying to Denver?

P.S. The Mets lost. Bronson Arroyo strikes again. Angel Pagan isn't the savior that the nation so desperately cries out for. Just another day in Flushing.

Mets Seperate Church From State ... Of New York

Ryan Church is gone to Atlanta, Jeff Francoeur is a Met. Instead of jumping the gun and ranting, I take a few deep breaths. Then I'll probably rant.

The Symmetry of Eight-Oh

Of course, it would be 8-0.

Because the first I saw of the Mets game, the score was already 8-0. This happened mere moments after I just got finished dropping some money at Harrah's in Atlantic City.

How much money, you ask? Of course ... 80 dollars.

If you close your eyes, you can distinctly make out the laughter of each individual baseball god, as they just keep throwing the fun little coincidences at me. Not enough I'm in Atlantic City ... Phillie country ... losing money and seeing more Phillies shirts and hats than I've seen in every other visit I've ever taken here combined, but this morning I wake up, flip on SportsCenter, and find myself right smack in the middle of the "Top Ten Mets F**k-Ups Of The Season" (I don't think they actually called it that.) How do you know you've had a bad season? You have enough boners for a Top Ten of the Season list all by yourself, it's only July, and Ryan Church missing third base before scoring the winning run isn't even on the list!

You know how else you know things are bad? When Manny Ramirez gets ejected from the game in the fifth inning for treating his elbow pad like a hand grenade ... and he still goes 2-for-4 with three RBI!!!

And the news doesn't get any better, as Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran are nowhere near returning, while Oliver Perez returns Wednesday to either set fire to what's remaining of his career, or pitch the best game in his life in a 1-0 Mets loss.

But just when you think your life stinks, think of the 12-year-old youth travel team in Brooklyn who showed up to the field for their scheduled game to find out all the bases were stolen and the pitching rubber was ripped out of the ground, forcing the game to be cancelled.

Perhaps similar acts of thievery are the Mets' last hope.

There's Some Grit In Them Furry Beasts

As if going to Pittsburgh for a one game rainout makeup isn't exciting enough, the Mets were also able to catch the phenomenon known as Anthrocon 2009, a convention where people can dress like animals. Boy, it was the club's lucky day ... let alone Kevin Burkhardt's lucky day.

This has to be the reason that Tim Redding has such an awful start today ... apparently, Redding's goatee was a keynote speaker at the event. Who knew?

But in this period of time where we're all kinda waiting for the bottom to drop out, we might be seeing the beginnings of evidence that maybe nobody should be throwing in the towel on this team just yet. Down 5-0 to the Pirates' best starter on a one-game stopover (akin to spending seven hours at Atlanta International) would have been an easy game to throw in the towel on. But not only did the Mets actually string some hits together to get some runners on base, they strung some more hits together to actually drive those runs in! Eight of them!!!

And believe it or not, at 8-5 ... even at 8-6, I didn't have that nagging feeling of doom that I usually have with this franchise. Honestly. I honestly thought there was no way that doom can befall them again. Law of averages, right?

Wrong!

Because it was then that Frankie came in with a two run lead in the ninth, and two batters later the freakin' game was tied. And not only tied, but tied by Adam "Carlos Beltran is a no-good classless goon who doesn't make enough plays to win baseball games" La Roche. If you thought I tore the house apart, not to worry. I just laughed.

However my cat, on the opening of the Furry Beast Convention, was quite pissed. So pissed in fact, that she briefly joined the Pittsburgh faithful in their heckling of Frankie.


Can you blame her? She's been through so much ... to have a blown save on a day dedicated to animal fur was just too much for her cat-like patience to take. She snapped, as I'm sure most of you did. But alas, more grit to come as Fernando Tatis was hit with a pitch to top off a big day for him, and Ryan Church drove him in to help seal the deal. And even Frankie came back to have a big tenth inning after coming within about a foot of losing the game completely in the ninth on a two-out line drive. Yes, the "resiliency" and the "grit" has been there more this season than in the last two ... but no more so than Thursday.

Unfortunately, this game probably means the Mets will be without Rodriguez's services on Friday against the Phillies. But speaking of the Phillies, I'm going to keep gettin' positive on you: Not that the Mets' three starters are any guarantees (Livan Hernandez, Fernando Nieve, and even Johan Santana isn't a guarantee these days), the Mets are facing Rodrigo Lopez (yes, Rodrigo Lopez), Jaime Moyer (who the Mets have hit this year), and Joe Blanton (who's improved lately in the way that you can improve from dog meat to merely beatable). The series is winnable, boys and girls. I know the Mets have made some struggling pitchers look like Bob Gibson, but Lopez hasn't pitched in the majors in two years. The Mets absolutely can't welcome him back to the majors by making him into a stud. And the other two pitchers aren't lights out by any means. So two out of three is not impossible (or, if you're not into double negatives, possible), especially if Tatis has indeed found his stroke and lost his looping swing.

Tinker Toys

It's obvious as the nose on Snoop Manuel's face that as long as Fernando Nieve keeps pitching like this, he has to stay in the rotation. Isn't it?

Isn't it???

Well, maybe not. After all, Daniel Murphy has had nine hits in his last seven games before being benched against a righty on Wednesday night so Nick Evans could get into the lineup, and that 6-4-Tatis can stay there. Maybe Murphy came to Snoop asking for a breather. Maybe his last game being an 0-fer showed Snoop that Murphy needed a day of rest. But by that logic, everyone except Luis Castillo and Jeremy Reed needed to be benched after Jo-El Pineiro's two hitter.

My point is this: It's June ... late June. Everyone's on the DL. This whole Snoop notion of getting everybody at-bats has to be thrown out the window. There's no better chance to get players at-bats who need them to stay sharp. Gary Sheffield's knee is barking now? Guess what ... time for Ryan Church (3-for-4 with a long double to left which would have been out at Shea) to play every day and be in the middle of the order and not force-feed Sheffield back into the lineup. There isn't going to be a better opportunity to get Murphy in a groove and find out if he can do this every day than from now until the All-Star break. And if Nick Evans is going to go gangbusters as he did all over Brad Thompson on Monday, then let's put the kid in left field and find out if he can play and keep Fernando Tatis nailed to the bench if he's going to keep hitting into double plays.

It seems so obvious when it comes to using a hot pitcher like Nieve, why isn't it that obvious when it comes to hitters? The best players left have to play, and the lineup tinkering should be shelved.

There ... now that that's off my chest, hey, the Mets won 11-0! Awesome.

To reiterate, it was on the strength of another great outing from Fernando Nieve. And you thought I wasted a post on somebody who wasn't going to make the major league roster ... HA!

Well, I expected Nieve to be a disaster, so what the hell do I know? I'm just a dumb blogger, and I'm sorry. And if Nieve does this ten more times, I will apologize ten more times.

"I was thinking too much when I was with the Astros. The first time it was when (Roger) Clemens signed. Now, I just think about doing my job." -Fernando Nieve

So it's Clemens' fault. Figures. Screw you, Roger.

No similar salutation for Adam Wainwright, who admitted after this video that he still loves us Met fans. Well that's nice, but don't patronize me. The one thing that would have made 11-0 even better would have been if it was off Wainwright.

It Can Get Worse: Let Us Count The Ways

You're probably thinking that it couldn't get any worse after losing 15-0 to the New York Yankees.

Just like you thought that there was no way it could get worse after Luis Castillo's dropped pop-up.

And I'm sure you thought that the Mets couldn't possibly top Ryan Church missing third base and all the errors in the bottom of that inning for sheer comedy.

Well, as I'm sure you've learned, it can always get worse. And for the New York Mets, it most assuredly will get worse. Join me in staring down the crystal ball to find out just how it will get worse, as we look ahead to ten losses that will shape the Mets season:

Sunday, June 28: The Mets enter the ninth inning with a 13-0 lead against the Yankees, yet Snoop Manuel brings in Frankie Rodriguez to get some work in. Against a Yankees lineup which rested their stars for the latter half of the game, he gives up 14 runs including a two run HR by Brian Bruney, who came in the game for Nick Swisher who blew out his arm while pitching. The Mets lose 14-13.

Sunday, July 12: Frankie gets Jay Bruce to pop up with the bases loaded and the Mets up by two. But as Luis Castillo settles under it and puts two hands up, Jose Reyes is so happy for him that he tackles Castillo in celebration. One problem: Reyes mobbed him before the ball came down. Three runs scored after the ball drops as the Mets lose 6-5. The play is ruled a grand slam single.

Sunday, July 26: With every member of the Mets pitching staff having incarcerated by the Houston P.D. the night before, the Mets force Brian Stokes into action to pitch a complete game. After throwing 147 pitches, 127 of which for strikes, the Mets lose 2-1 to the Astros when Stokes throws a double play ball over the screen behind home plate with the bases loaded. Manuel vows to put Stokes in non-pressure situations going forward.

Monday, July 27: Todd Helton hits a screaming line drive to Gary Sheffield for the final out of the game ... and he catches it with two hands. But the umpires go to instant replay to find that the ball was hit so hard that a stitch from the baseball flew off the ball and flew towards the stands, barely grazing the Subway sign forcing the umpires to rule the play a two run homer, giving the Rockies their 42nd straight win.

Thursday, August 6: Ryan Church blasts a grand slam with two outs in the ninth against closer Heath Bell to give the Mets a 6-3 lead. However, Church is called out as he missed second base. Not only did the four runs come off the board, the official scorer takes away the remaining two runs because upon video review, Church actually had the audacity to miss every single base, and the Mets lose 3-0.

Monday, August 24: After not pitching for the previous 27 games, Brian Stokes comes in a tight situation: down by a run in the ninth, bases loaded, and Chase Utley at the plate with one out. Stokes goes 3-0 on Utley, after which Manuel visits the mound to have a heated discussion with Stokes. The next pitch is grounded back to Stokes, who holds on to the ball and doesn't throw it anywhere ... all the while staring back at Manuel in the dugout. As teammates try to pry the ball loose from Stokes, all four runs score as the Mets go on to lose 15-4. Stokes is released soon after the game and the Mets pick up Aaron Heilman off waivers.

Friday, August 28: Johan Santana is one out away from pitching the first no-hitter in Mets history at Wrigley Field when the first pitch he throws to the final batter dips under 90 mph. An ambulance immediately comes on the field to take Santana away for an MRI. "Now?" Santana asks ... "Yes, now" say the doctors. The ambulance, packed with every other Mets pitcher but one, drives Santana away. The one healthy pitcher left, Heilman, gives up back to back homers to Tuffy Rhodes and Pumpsie Green as the Mets lose 2-1.

Friday, September 4th: With the Mets down 4-3 and a runner on third base in the bottom of the 12th, Carlos Beltran drives a long one out home run headed towards the Pepsi Porch. But at that moment a fan, dissatisfied with his fish sandwich from the "Catch of the Day" stand for some reason, throws the remaining portion of the sandwich towards the field. The sandwich hits the ball, which changes direction and falls into the glove of Milton Bradley for the second out. Bradley then fires a strike to third base to double off Jose Reyes, who scored without tagging up and was already in the shower. Mets lose 4-3.

Friday, September 18th: The Mets lose 2-1 to the Washington Nationals, after they've traded Adam Dunn, Joe Beimel, Ryan Zimmerman, Julian Tavarez, John Lannan, Cristian Guzman, Nick Johnson, Anderson Hernandez, Elijah Dukes, Austin Kearns, and Joel Hanrahan for middling prospects. All of Steven Strasburg's 27 outs came via the strikeout in his major league debut as the Nationals lineup consists of Jesus Flores, Willie Harris, the four guys who dress in the President suits, and Screech the Mascot. The guy in the Teddy Roosevelt suit hits two home runs off of Oliver Perez and also wins his first mascot race between innings.

Sunday, October 4th: The Mets, incredibly, are tied for the wild card lead with the San Francisco Giants with one game left to go. Oliver Perez starts for the Mets, and he squares off with Mike Hampton. Perez actually pitches a good game, going six innings and giving up three runs before giving way to the bullpen. Hampton was better, going eight and 2/3's only giving up two runs. But he got himself into a sticky situation loading the bases with David Wright at the plate. The Astros brought in Hampton's 14-year-old son Gage to face Wright, and Gage strikes him out to end the game, and eventually end the Mets' season as the Giants defeated the Padres later that day.

When asked how he picked up on the subtleties of pitching to major league hitters so quickly by the New York media, Gage credited a solid Colorado education.

Punk'd? More Like Park'd

The Mets lost this game well before the Chase Utley home run.

They lost this game because sixteen hits could only bring home four runs.

They lost Wednesday's game when Dan Iassogna called Carlos Beltran out on the double play that should have scored the fifth run as Beltran was clearly safe. Funny how there was a recent conversation about how bad the umpiring has been this year, and it was awful again tonight on many counts ... most which benefited the Mets, but that call was key (forgive me if I start scoffing every time an umpire starts complaining about instant replay ... seriously, I'm starting to not care if baseball games go ten hours each just so we can have replay review every single damn play ... either that or we need to invent "Umpbots"). And even if that call was right, you knew that it would be a key point in the game since the Mets had one chance to blow Cole Hamels out and he didn't do it.

They really lost this game in the seventh, when Snoop decided to call a sac bunt with a guy at the plate who hadn't had a sac bunt in seven years. Fernando Tatis has some pop, no? Well, not when he's called to bunt, giving away your sixth hitter. And with a successful sacrifice (another, most likely terrible call), you give away your seventh hitter as Ryan Church was intentionally walked to set up Omir Santos ... meaning that hitters six and seven were wasted, leaving the bulk of the work to be done by hitters eight and nine. I know Snoop loves Omir but man, that wasn't quite gangsta.

But they really, really, really lost the game because of their inability to score a damn run off Chan Ho Park. Ryan Church had him 3-0 and let two meatballs zip right on by him like they were old men in vans wearing trench coats asking him if he wanted candy. Then on 3-2 he swings at slop in the dirt. I've grown a small affinity for Church, as he's become the red-headed step child of the organization. But if that at-bat was any more putrid I'd have to close my windows and throw towels under the doors.

So let's review the rubber game of the series: Tim Redding on the mound, which has recently resulted in poundings by the Red Sox and Marlins, a spent bullpen with Frankie having been burned for two innings on Wednesday. I guess that J.J. Putz will have to close tomorrow we should be prepared for the "give up" lineup on Thursday, resting guys for the Yankee series.

• SS Valdez
• 2B Cora
• 1B Murphy
• 3B Hebner
• LF Martinez
• CF Reed
• RF Emil Brown
• C Alberto Castillo
• P Redding

With Carlos Muniz as the only guy available out of the bullpen. (But seriously, they're probably going to have to pound Moyer like chop meat again to have any sort of chance.)

And I'm mildly disappointed that Pelfrey didn't drill Hamels after the "choke" comments (but kudos to Alex Cora for going up the middle hard on him). He made up for it though by telling Utley and Shane Victorino to shove it. I'll take any moral victory I can get.

Did I mention ... Chan Ho Park???!?!?!?!??? For crying out loud.

Coors Light

Citi Field ... Launching pad?

It's almost as if David Wright entered the clubhouse sheepishly and asked the ballpark for forgiveness after word got out that its feelings were hurt.

"No no, Citi ... you really ARE a nice park." -David Wright

Forgiveness came in the form of a first inning home run for Wright, and you knew it would be a nutty night. In fact, there were seven home runs at Citi tonight, or ... one more than Wright, Ryan Church, and Jose Reyes have had all season. Church also added to his total by almost breaking the apple into millions and millions of pieces (which would have been immediately sold by Steiner Sports online for $150 each ... an extra hundred if Church signs the fiberglass shard).

Of course, the park got some revenge by letting the Phillies have four of the home runs, which was wrought with "don't mess with Mother Nature" moments. But all those homers got Johan Santana all jacked up that he wanted to get in on the act. Now he's a pitcher so all he could muster was a double. But heck, it tied the game and set up Church's eventual game winner, so nobody's quibbling here. Well, except for Johan ... who has a touch of the crazies these days.

"I’m a man. I’m a man," Manuel remembered his ace telling him. "What he means by that, I don’t know."

Great, he's finally snapped after a year and a half of this franchise. While everyone else gets hurt physically, Johan is imagining he's Steve Winwood.



And speaking of crazies, what the hell was Shane Victorino staring down after the game? Did anyone else catch him stare down the field from the dugout? Who or what was he looking at? Or was he taking notes on which Mets were celebrating too much so that Jimmy Rollins can lecture the media on what behavior is acceptable on a baseball field? (No ... you shush.)

Jeez, just have a seat in the clubhouse, Shane. (The nice, new luxurious visitor's clubhouse.)

Oh, and while I'm on the subject, how exactly did Carlos Beltran get tagged with the "no class" label while Cole Hamels basically got off without a slap on the wrist for his "choker" comments? I ask this because hey, guess who's pitching tomorrow ...

Line drives up the middle are good, fundamental baseball. Just sayin'.

Ryan's Riddle

Besides the much needed bounce back win that the Mets got courtesy of Livan Hernandez (now with more upset stomach), was the triumphant return of Ryan Church, who went 2-5 with a run scored in the 7-0 win.

And now, with an off day to ponder, Snoop has a very interesting question to ask himself. With three lefties set to go this week against the Mets, it wouldn't look like an optimal situation for Ryan Church to get playing time. But can the Mets afford to put Church on the bench for three games and waste opportunities for Church to see live major league pitching for the first time in three weeks?

Better yet, can the Mets afford to put Church on the bench for one game? We know that Sheffield, if he was healthy and ten years younger (not necessarily in that order) would be a slam dunk to start these three games. And we know that the brass would prefer for Fernando Martinez to play as much as possible while he's in the major leagues. But this isn't a finishing school. This is a major league baseball team that has been starving for runs lately. Someone's going to have to sit.

If Snoop is serious in saying that if he had a doghouse that Ryan Church wouldn't be in it, then Church has to be in that lineup against J.A. Happ, against Cole Hamels, and against Jamie Moyer. Yeah, you risk sending him into a tailspin giving him a steady diet of lefties, but to me it's a bigger risk to sit him down. A lefty is going to have to be in that lineup anyway ... I'd prefer a veteran to a rookie hitting .200, no matter what his name is. And with Sheffield's health an issue, Martinez is going to play at least one game anyway if not two. (If I was a betting man, I'd say Sheffield was a shoo-in for the game that Hamels pitches.)

Riddle on that for two days ... and hope that Snoop can solve it by then.

Stand By Mets

At least they'll all be together now in Port St. Lucie as they find themselves, go down the train tracks to look at Victor Zambrano's dead career, and share recipes that involve Baconnaise. Oh to be young and injured.

(Featuring J.J. Putz as "Ace" ... head of the Cobras.)

Omir Plays The Lion, And The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway

Well, it was nice knowing you, Fluff.

Because really ... with all of the rumors surrounding Ramon Castro, whether it be to Seattle, or Chicago, what's the one ending to Friday's game that would seal his fate?

Of course! An Omir Santos walk-off hit!

Well, that's not entirely accurate, as Santos' place on the Mets was sealed with the dinger off of Jonathan Papelbon. But with Brian Schneider finally back from the disabled list, there was really no use for both Omir and Fluff. So Castro, who is as capable of hitting a big home run as he is pulling his hamstring boarding a plane, will indeed board a plane to Chicago. Coming to the Mets ... well, the Bisons, is pitcher Lance Broadway.

The marketing would write itself if he wasn't assigned to Buffalo ... he should have been named "Anchor" or "HSBC" or "Lake Effect Snow".

Broadway was actually a pretty good prospect with the Sox, once holding the title of third best prospect in the entire system. Where has that gotten him? Buffalo, where the Bisons are 14-32. It ain't easy being a savior, Lance. But you'll have some help as the Bisons will also have 34-year-old Emil Brown (a youth movement for Buffalo) to help as he came in a trade with San Diego. Great, more at-bats Ryan Church will never see. But the fact that Omar Minaya got more than a slice of deep dish pizza for Castro is a plus.

Luckily, things are just a bit better with the big club as they are in Dunn Tire Park (sorry Corporate Charlie ... Coca-Cola Field), where it doesn't matter who the back-up catcher is as long as Mike Pelfrey is throwing the ball the way he did against the Marlins tonight. Pelfrey? Santos? Emil Brown? I might actually sleep well tonight. Hope you will too.