No Cupids Were Harmed In The Plugging Of This Book

Did you know that Valentine's Day cards have already hit the shelves?

I know, I know. Like there's a guy that exists who buys a Valentine's Day card before February 13th. Silly marketing gurus.

But before you know it, you're going to have to get your girl or guy a Valentine's Day gift. Why not consider curling your significant other up with a good book to get them through those warm summer nights after new Met Jay Marshall gives up a grand slam to Alfredo Amezaga.

I have a suggestion for you: How about Evaluating Baseball's Managers, 1876-2008 which you can pick up here. It's kind of like sabermetrics for managers, combined with lots of background and insight about managerial tendencies. The book goes in-depth for 89 managers, but particularly of interest to me were some of the things the author, Hardball Times writer Chris Jaffe, had to say about the managers that have worn the blue and orange. And I noticed a theme among some of them. Consider:

Casey Stengel:

"If the Yankees were an ideal situation for his management style, the Mets were the club least suited to it."

Joe Torre:

"Torre’s first managerial assignment with the New York Mets best exemplified his ability to get the most out of his teams. If the 1996 Yankees were the ideal setup for a manager, the 1977 Mets were the worst."

Art Howe (considering how I still pull my hair out over Howe playing his infield in down by seven runs in a late inning blowout, I had considerable interest in what Jaffe had to say about Howe's Met tenure):

"New York appears to have been a bad fit for Howe."

Well, there you have it. The New York Mets ... connecting fathers and sons as a bad fit for generations.

The Mets were actually a good fit for others, namely Gil Hodges, Davey Johnson, and Bobby Valentine. Thankfully, the book covers those three along with the three above and 83 others. So don't forget to make your better half happy and pick up this book.

Makes a great Valentine's Day gift

What Have You Learned? Jerry Manuel

What Have You Learned is our very special off-season series that will outline what you've learned, what I've learned, and hopefully what the 2009 Mets have learned about themselves, others, and 2010. Today, we put on our gangsta colored glasses and take a look at our manager, Snoop Manuel.

"You play to win the game" -Herman Edwards

"Oh crap, we're 25 games out, maybe I should manage to win." -Snoop Manuel, in not so many words

It surprises me when I go back and look at the game logs of guys like Ryan Church and Daniel Murphy, and see that Church really didn't have as many games off in the early part of the season as it seemed, and that Murphy, who seemed to have a spot on the bench way too often in favor of Fernando Tatis, led the 2009 Mets in games played with 155 (a feat that should be worthy of some special award akin to a purple heart ... maybe a Golden Needle or something.)

Somehow, Jerry Manuel did it with smoke and mirrors ... that's it. But not the same smoke and mirrors that the Cardinals surely thought Davey Johnson used to win in '86. No, Snoop had to go to his smoke and mirrors after everyone got hurt, and had to go to the hospital for smoke inhalation.

It's the only way I could explain it. The stats say otherwise, but what my eyes saw and what my ears heard told me that Snoop Manuel isn't the man for this job. You probably could have figured it out from the angry tone I had been taking near the end of the season, but I've been convinced that Manuel isn't the man to lead this team to the next decade. And it has nothing to do with the impatience that us New York fans are accused of.

Any manager that treats spring training like the end of the world (the 80-pitch drill), April-August like spring training (too worried about getting guys like Gary Sheffield at-bats when the full complement was healthy, pitching guys out of the pen for seven days straight and then letting them rot for weeks), and treats a meaningless September like the World Series (for example, putting Frankie in a game down by a run in the ninth, then bringing him back for a save the next night which he promptly blew in nuclear fashion) is not the gangsta for this job. And I'm done with the injury excuse. Too many games were being lost in ways where the injuries were a non-factor.

While I'm worried about throwing away 2010 before 2009 is over, our friends at Mets Today point out that it was the same deal last year, meaning that while we didn't know it, 2009 was thrown away before 2008 was over.

"He (Manuel) emphasized the need for his players to practice the skills that produce victories not necessarily those that 'help you statistically'". -10/4/2008

How'd that work out for you there, Snoop? Did the team fall short of those expectations? Or could it have been a failure of epic proportions? Probably closer to the latter, don't ya think? Obviously, Snoop has learned absolutely nothing.

If it was just the ineptitude, I'd be more willing to lean on the injuries as a crutch. But when you have a manager that never seemed to be on the same page with his players (Snoop: "Oh, Jose had a good run today." ... Jose: "I ran? When?"), and threw them under the bus (or the tractor) at every opportunity, when does it get old? It got old with Willie Randolph ... and upon further review, how much of the rift between Randolph and his roster was caused by Tony Bernazard sneaking around the clubhouse undercutting him at every turn? When does this get old? The next time he blames Oliver Perez's 58 walks in 19 innings on bad defense? Or maybe when he blames David Wright's next slump on not getting enough sleep?

Let me segue from that to a cautionary tale, if I may: If Manuel actually came out and said that David Wright wasn't getting enough sleep, and Wright said that was ridiculous, might I say you'd rip Manuel a new one? Might I say ... rightly so? But this actually happened before. Which manager was the culprit of this?

The same manager everyone seems to want back to right this ship: Bobby Valentine.

Listen, I love Bobby V. Loved him ever since he told me he liked my banner on Banner Day 1984, when he was just nodding at everyone else (dammit, if he was one of the judges, I would have won for sure). But know that with Bobby Valentine comes these kind of motivational tactics that wouldn't fly with star players ... it didn't fly back when it was Todd Hundley, and it certainly wouldn't fly now. For Bobby Valentine to come here and make it work, it might take breaking up some core, and that will frighten some of you ... because Valentine is someone who is at his best when he's doing more with less. You can't have it both ways. Valentine would be a great option to have back here, but let's not forget his flaws too.

Someone else who does more with less is Tony La Russa. That's right, The Genius. And it seems that the genius might be available soon along with the pitching coach that turned Joel Pineiro and Kyle Lohse into valuable members of society let alone halfway decent pitchers. Now ... put yourself in the owners' shoes. You've basically ensured that Snoop is coming back next season, but Tony La Russa might be available. Now what? Do you let him go to the Reds and work for Walt Jocketty because you've made a commitment to Snoop? Or do you make yourselves look like the ones who went back on a promise to bring in La Russa? After all, it's not like playing the fool is a new role.

So barring a change of heart by ownership (good luck), what must Snoop learn in 2010? Learn that games in September are only important to win when you have a chance to win. That you only break the glass that contains Fernando Tatis only in case of emergency. And that spring training is in March, not May. And that bad defense doesn't cause Oliver Perez to walk home an entire ballpark. It's the other way around.

And keep your head on a swivel. You never know who's gaining on you.

Jerry Manuel: Behind The Blow

Well, another red letter season has come do an end (and that red letter is F ... I'll let you figure out what that stands for.) And believe it or not, I still have s**t to say. The following is one in a series of random stuff I'm throwing against the wall about person or persons of my choosing. These are your New York Mets: Behind the Blow.

Call it a crackpot theory if you wish, but I find it weird that mere hours after it's reported that the negotiations between Jerry Manuel and the Mets to become the official Mets manager were hitting a snag as Manuel was digging in his heels, a report comes out that Bobby Valentine would be happy to come back to manage the Mets. Then, mere hours after that, a deal is done.

I'm on to you.

But now that "Gangsta Ball" is back for the long haul, the true test begins. You haven't heard a hint of bad word from a player about Jerry Manuel. Of course not. Manuel did some good things, and some different things from Willie Randolph. But let's face it: you would have replaced Willie Randolph and gotten good results. The divorce between the players and Randolph was needed ... and the first few months between Manuel and the roster is reminiscent of those first few months of a relationship: passionate, warm, and thankful that this new boyfriend or girlfriend isn't like the last one.

Except that it was like the last one when it came down to September, which a lot of people hung on Manuel like last one was hung on Willie. But the constant in both seasons are the players ... the same ones who win and lose ballgames. And they're the same players who could cost Manuel his job somewhere down the road if the relationship between them and Manuel goes south. That's the challenge for Snoop in 2009. Now that the honeymoon is over, how will he keep the roster that he's given motivated and happy without the glow of just having replaced somebody not popular with the room?

And that's why nobody should be surprised if there's another slow start in 2009 ... especially if the roster remains relatively similar to what it was last season. That responsibility rests on someone else's shoulders ...

All My Rowdy Friends Collapsed On Monday Night

You're going to tell me now that I'm supposed to be excited that Bobby Parnell had a scoreless inning in his debut?

Well if that's the only choice I have, I guess I'll be on board. Because there's nothing else to be excited about after tonight's 7-2 debacle at the hands of the putrid Washington Nationals. Certainly not Pedro Martinez, who was one out away from getting through his six inning outing with only two runs tacked against him, but instead is continuing his descent into the ordinary. Used to be that Pedro would muddle through a game, but knew when that last batter was coming and would dial it up to finish strong ... especially with runners on base. Tonight, sixth inning ... runners on second and third with Anderson Hernandez at the plate (you know the one who hit under .200 in New Orleans this season), and Petey couldn't put him away. (Gee, an ex-Met killing us? That neeeeever happens!!!)

Certainly not the Mets offense, who somehow turned John Lannan from lamb to lion in just one week. He was a lamb against the Mets last Tuesday, lion tonight as the Mets "resilient" offense could only knock one hit off him tonight.

And definitely not Filthy Sanchez, who came in and only had to get one freakin' out in the seventh after Ricardo Rincon came out of seclusion to get the first two outs in the seventh without incident. Then, in came Filthy to put out the fire once and for all:

Walk, single, home run, scorched earth.

To think the rookies dressed like Michael Phelps yesterday. Dressing like gold medalists seem a little bit out there for this bunch. Investment bankers, I would have believed.

***

I loved that Matt Yallof asked Lee Mazzilli during the pre-game if Pedro Martinez has it in him to step up because ... "you've played against him for years." Of course Mazzilli played against Pedro ... in Playstation. Because as you know in the real world, Mazzilli was retired for three years before Petey made his debut in '92.

Oh, Matt must have meant "managed" against him for years. One problem: it was only one year. Pedro pitched with the Red Sox in '04 while Maz was the Orioles manager ... and Petey gave up 22 earned in 24 innings against Baltimore that season.

In actuality, Mazzilli only "bench coached" against him for years ... which is kinda the same as "well, I was in the park and saw him pitch a lot". Yeah, Maz and about 25,000 others. There's some perspective you can't find anywhere else.

P.S. Maz thinks that Pedro needs Shave Zone ... tough guy.

***

There's actually a precedent for what happened to Ned Yost yesterday (by the way Ned, thanks for showing up against the Phillies ... proving once and for all that you can't depend on a choke artist to help prevent a choke of your own ... that's like hiring Robby Alomar to be employed by the New York Chamber of Commerce), and you're familiar with it if you're a New York sports fan.

The 1989 New York Rangers were battling for a division title with 15 games to go in the season. Coaching them was Michel "Le Petit Tigre" Bergeron, famous for his hot goalie system and his hot temper. Bergeron's Rangers went 3-10 when, with two games left in the regular season, GM Phil Esposito fired Bergeron and took the coaching reins himself of a team that was headed, albeit while limping, to the playoffs.

The Bergeron/Esposito relationship mirrored the Steve Phillips/Bobby Valentine relationship in certain ways near the end of their two year relationship. Certainly, the relationship between Bergeron and his players kinda looked like the Valentine/Player relationship. I can only assume that things were completely unmanageable between the Brewers clubhouse and Ned Yost if this move was made at this point. Heck, if it was the choking itself, there were plenty of opportune chances to fire Willie Randolph down the stretch last season.

(Editor's note: Esposito did no better than Bergeron, losing the final two regular season games and then getting swept in the first round of the playoffs by the Penguins. So I wouldn't expect this firing to really make a whole lot of difference unless things were really as bad as some think in that Brewer clubhouse. The moral to the story is, don't f***ing get swept by the Phillies and maybe you can keep your job.)

Nostalgia's Interference

Because Joe Torre is the polar opposite of Bobby Valentine, chances are you weren't going to see him get ejected from tonight's game after Russell Martin's catcher's interference blunder on Claudio Vargas' groundout to second with two outs ... which led to four Mets runs, and yet another Mets victory over Brad Penny. And if Torre did argue and get chucked, better chances had Torre not returning to the bench in a fake mustache and glasses like Valentine did.

But coincidentally, it was a catcher's interference call that caused Valentine to get thrown out of a game against the Blue Jays in 1999 (a game where Carlos Delgado went 1 for 5, you know, before he wore the home team uniform and became the villain ... although it looks like Willie's benching has convinced Carlos that he's no longer allergic to diving), which he later returned to the dugout in the guise of some sort of grounds crew worker. When Vargas' bat tipped Martin's glove close to nine years later, you could almost feel the ghost of Bobby V ranting and raving and kicking dirt.

So if you felt a little deja vu surrounding you at the ballpark, don't worry ... you could cut the deja vu with a knife with all that stuff from the past swirling around you. Valentine, Delgado, Torre, a three game winning streak ... memories of which were somehow vaguely familiar, yet all fuzzy until a bat hitting a glove brought 'em all back.

Thanks Russell. Console yourself in the knowledge you made children happy.

Tagged (Yet Somehow Safe)

I have to admit, I generally hate these things.

I mean, they were cool the first 10,000 times. But I went through a span of six weeks where ... hand to God ... I got one of these per day. I have a hard time believing that people care that much about my life to know what flavor potato chips I like to eat on Wednesdays.

(Kettle Brand Honey Dijon, if you must know.)

Those that have been with me since the beginning may remember that I was tagged with one of these before ... and all I did was whine and moan my way through it.

But a blogger I not only respect and admire, but whom I've had a strange mind meld thing going with on more than one occasion, Toasty Joe, has tagged me to reveal things that you may not know about me. But first, I'm going to refresh your memory on the ten things I know about Toasty, and reply with facts about me that relate to Toasty's fine facts:

• (1) Toasty hates mustard and rye bread and will never consume either one of them under any circumstances. Conversely, Toasty loves eggnog. See if you can guess Toasty's religion. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Um, Santeria? (Google it.)

• (2) Toasty tends to choke up during the end of "Apollo 13."

But Toasty doesn't completely understand why he does this ... until now. You see, Metstradamus' first date with his future and current wife was spent in a movie theatre watching Apollo 13. So when he watches it, he feels my joy. See? It's that mind meld thing again.

• (3) Toasty is incredibly snobby about his ability to play the guitar. Thus, his aversion to "Guitar Hero." Learn to play a real guitar, for cryin' out loud.

I learned to play a real guitar ... took lessons in fourth and fifth grade. I can play basic chords with a guitar and wouldn't completely embarass myself. And I proudly say I own Guitar Heros two and three (and I have more fun playing "Carry On My Wayward Son" on the game than I do most things in life).

• (4) Toasty has a crush on Jodi Applegate.

Here's the thing about Jodi Applegate: If you watch enough local news shows, you'll notice that most of the female anchors have the same hairstyle. It's like there's a store off of Bleeker St. called "Anchor Hair" that sells them in bulk. I, for one, applaud Jodi for not falling prey, or for at least resisting the Anchor Hair Syndrome for so long. What's it going to take to stop the spread of AHS? A foundation, perhaps?

• (5) Toasty requires an aisle seat in both movie theaters and airplanes. (Bonus fact: Toasty is 6'4").

My first flight was to Toronto. Sat by the window. Landing back in NYC in a lightning storm on the back end of that trip swore me off window seats for a while. (I could swear I saw Anthony Young on the wing of the plane). It took a few flights but I'm back to being comfortable by the window.

(By the way ... the next time I'll be on an airplane? Spring Training, baby!)

• (6) Toasty has never seen a single episode of "Lost," "Heroes," or "24." Not a one.

Just when you thought he would be the only one on earth who could say that, now you have two. As Tony Kornheiser said: "Get these slob losers off the island already! How many seasons can they be stuck there without their hair growing? Put all the people on Lost in Canada."

• (7) When Toasty was in 6th grade, a classmate once tricked him into sitting down on the pointy end of a pencil, leaving him with a painful mark on his, er, "hip." That classmate is now married to Toasty's first cousin.

When Metstradamus was in 5th grade, his teacher brushed his hair in such a matter that made his head look like a mushroom. This happened, of course, on picture day. Thanks a lot. That teacher isn't married to anybody in Metstradamus' family (to the best of his knowledge).

All affected pictures have been burned, before you ask.

• (8) Toasty has been to Costa Rica and Colombia, but has never set foot in Mexico.

Metstradamus is Toasty's negative on this one ... been to Mexico, but never to Costa Rica and Colombia. Random Mexico fact: There's a Johnny Rockets in Cozumel.

• (9) Toasty is related (by marriage) to Barbra Streisand. Pretty closely, too.

Metstradamus has seen the South Park episode where Barbra Streisand turned into Mecha-Streisand ... and where Robert Smith (of The Cure, not of the Vikings) saved the day. Loved it.

• (10) Toasty thinks "Eyes Wide Shut" is an underappreciated-masterpiece and that "Titanic" sucked monkey balls.

Metstradamus thought that "Anchorman" was an underappreciated masterpiece, and couldn't get through thirty minutes of "The Silence of the Lambs".

No, really. Not 30 minutes. Anthony Hopkins is a great actor, but I wanted to put my head in an oven after listen to Hannibal Lechter mumble endlessly. You eat people. Why am I caring about anything you have to say? Freak. What this says about me? You can come to your own conclusions.

Now, the ten things you may not know about me, but were too apathetic to ask.

1. Metstradamus once sang lead for a rock band at a high school carnival.
   
2. Metstradamus, on the same night that he sang at this carnival, met Tommie Agee and got an autograph, which he still has to this day. Metstradamus also made a fool out of himself describing in great detail, and acting out Agee's two catches from Game 4 of the 1969 World Series when someone had the audacity to ask him "Who's Tommie Agee?"
   
3. Metstradamus once took steroids. (Prescribed, of course. And trust me, it did nothing to enhance my bloggging performance ... steroids don't make you smarter. Look through the January 2006 archives and you'll understand.)
   
4. Metstradamus once learned the hard way that if you're going to get two hamsters, make sure they're the same gender!!!
   
5. Metstradamus got married in Las Vegas (yes, I lived the dream).
   
6. Metstradamus was complimented verbally by Bobby Valentine for his entry on Banner Day, 1984 while most entries just got nods (hey, when looking for approval, you latch on to whatever you can).
   
7. Metstradamus was once chased by a policeman on Halloween, stupidly thinking he had escaped because the cop wouldn't drive his bike the wrong way on a one way street to catch him (uh ... stupid, he's a cop!)
   
8. While in college, Metstradamus went on two seperate double dates with the same guy. Both times, the date of Metstradamus' wound up making out with the other guy ... leaving Metstradamus, in both instances, with "the crazy one" (yes, he's still my friend).
   
9. Metstradamus once rode in a Lincoln Town Car with a prominent former New York athlete. Played for three N.Y. franchises, and was recently denied a credential by one of those franchises. I'll let you guys figure that one out. I can't do all the work here.
   
10. Maybe you know this one already, but it's worth repeating: Metstradamus once hitched a ride on the back of a pick-up truck across Foxboro to attend a Jets/Patriots game on a Monday night in 1998. This came on the heels of finding out the hotel we were staying at in Providence doubled as a strip joint. Apparently, not only did the strippers dance ($10 surcharge for each stripper you took back to your room ... and no, I'm not kidding on this one), but they washed towels during the daytime hours. And while there was no HBO in the room, the channel that featured the hardcore love-making was free (think Cinemax on Cialis). The lesson here is to always consult your AAA book before you make plans to see a sporting event.

So there you have it. Instead of getting eight facts, you got the bonus plan of 21. Good for blackjack, bad for Paul Gibson's ERA. So who am I tagging to do this?

• Bobby Valentine
• Anthony Hopkins
• Barbra Streisand
• Jodi Applegate
• Tony Kornheiser
• Paul Gibson
• Jennifer Love Hewitt
• Vinny Testaverde

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

Mr. Baseball

So Mike Piazza says he'd be interested in Japan if nobody in the major leagues signed him.

Enjoy those dumplings.