Satan's Series

At midnight on Monday, October 26th, the New York Yankees won the 2009 American League pennant, completing a World Series matchup with the Philadelphia Phillies.

Also at midnight on Monday, October 26th, the movie Armageddon was starting on my cable system.

How fitting.

The movie had a happy ending. But this, my friends, is Baseball Armageddon. There is no happy ending. Satan has been unleashed. The minions have arrived on earth. The Mayan calendar has ended little more than three years earlier than expected. The world will never be the same. And the next two weeks are going to be the worst two weeks on earth.

In one respect, this awful season couldn't have ended any other way. The good news is that now, there really is no possible season that could possibly be any worse than this. (At least 1993 saw Toronto in the fall classic to defeat the Phillies.)

But in another respect, we have a final battle where there can be no winners. Only pain and anguish. I'm here, fellow Met fans, to quell that pain and anguish ... because you're unknowingly inflicting it on yourselves.

About a week ago, I set out on a quest to win a Nobel Peace Prize. Unfortunately, my original plan to bring the sabermetricians and the scouts together in harmony was put to rest when I was informed that they were no longer at war. But undeterred, I still seek this honor. Because this, this is a much more noble (Nobel?) crusade.

Anyone over the age of 40 will surely remember, and those under that age surely read about it in their history books, but in 1980 Jimmy Carter pulled the United States Olympians out of the Moscow games because of the Soviet Union's invasion of Afghanistan. The athletes didn't like it. But it was for their own good. Friends, consider me your Jimmy Carter. (Carter, it should be noted, is a past winner of the Nobel Prize for Peace.) Though I realize that I'm not the boss of you, I'm making a decision on behalf of all of you that you may not like, but please trust me when I tell you that it's for your own good, and the good of the planet.

I'm boycotting the 2009 World Series, and pulling all Met fans around the world out of it. You may not like it, but it's for your own good.

For those of you who have made that decision already, good for you. You're doing a service to your community. But I see way too many of you on the internets feel that you have to choose a side. Maybe it's because it's the World Series, or because you don't want to have baseball on somewhere on your dial and not be watching it, and choosing a side will help you be able to watch the games. Let me tell you that no good can come of either outcome.

I'm all for hatred of the Phillies, but rooting for the Yankees is not the answer. Do you really want to have your Yankee fan friends to be all nice to you and tell you that "hey, you've gotta root for New York" (sorry, I hate that) only to then come up to you all winter and tell you that "Hey, we took care of the team that you couldn't ... you're welcome!" in that slimy, smarmy, Yankee voice? Do you want that condescending pat on the back from those people welcoming you to the dark side? You want to be on the same side as these people for the next 4-7 games? When they go back to laughing at you the rest of the winter, and when John Sterling provides the soundtrack to your winter, you're going to be sorry you rooted for them.

Conversely, Yankee hatred is a staple of society. But siding with the Phillies is also not the answer. I understand staying along league lines. But do you want to be on the same side of any argument with Brett Myers? Shane Victorino? Jimmy Rollins??? JIMMY ROLLINS??!?!? The same guy who's insecurities led him to bring up the Mets during their World Series parade? Really??!? When Phillie fans go back to pouring beer on your head and knocking you out with one punch in Citi Field, while Comcast Philly or My Philly 17 puts it on television (yes, this happened), and when the Phils clinch the series in New York and take the World Series trophy for a spin around the Citi Field parking lot that you once knew as your beloved Shea Stadium before heading to the airport, you're going to be sorry you rooted for them.

You get the point, right? Rooting for either one of these teams is like getting into bed with the head cheerleader for a night, only to have her tell the entire school about your shortcomings in bed. Is this what you want??? All winter??!?!? Have some self respect.

But worse than that, do you really want Mets fans fighting with other Mets fans about why rooting for one over the other is more palatable? Maybe these kind of arguments wouldn't happen too much in bars across New York ... and maybe only one of these drunken discussions between Met fans would result in a bar fight. But my friends, that would be one bar fight too many. The few friendships between Met fans that would end because one of them rooted for the Yankees would be one friendship too many. Don't let yourselves be driven apart by taking sides in this mess. Let the Yankee fans and the Phillie fans be the ones to throw hands with each other. Let's not eat our own young, or commit Met on Met crime. You're playing right into Satan's hands. This is what he wants. This is why he's here with his minions.

That's why my solution, my message of peace, is your only chance at a dignified existence over the grueling days and weeks to come. Trust me, it's not worth it. You want to make a statement, turn your backs. Walk away. Have dinner with your families. Watch Armageddon on your local cable system ... it's on, like, all the time! And it has a happy ending even though Bruce Willis dies. (C'mon, like you didn't know.) Read Ron Darling's book, or Greg Prince's Faith and Fear in Flushing. Buy a box set of Gilmore Girls. Anything! You have the power to reject Satan, and stop the inevitability of doom for yourselves. You have the power.

And if your curiosity takes over and you must know what is happening between the minions of Satan, get the scores through telegraph or Pony Express (they still exist, right?) And if you must use the television, at least have the decency of turning on the Spanish version on WWOR so that Joe Buck doesn't cause your ears to bleed. And for heaven's sake boo ... everything. Every play, every strikeout, every hit, home run, and balk ... regardless on who's on which side of the play. Boo.

But you can't take sides. It's for the good of humanity. Please, heed my message of peace and freedom. Oh sure, some might twist that around and say "well, you're taking away our freedom to pick a side." But what I'm saying is this: free yourself from the tyranny that you have to take a side to watch this World Series. Friends, follow me. Follow me to freedom. To Switzerland. To a brief respite of happiness before you have to deal with the Metropolitan signings of Jason Marquis and Hideki Matsui to keep Oliver Perez company on the disabled list. Help me fight evil.

The fate of the world is in your hands.

Skeptic Tank

Experts say that you should be careful about what you see in players in April and in September. With the Mets season pretty much over, this is going to be the longest September in a long time. So it's okay to be skeptical about Cory Sullivan.

Two triples on Wednesday and some good looking defensive plays lately is like an oasis for this team, this time. But can you really believe what you see? After all, if you look at the new fangled way people are looking at defense these days, Cory Sullivan has UZR ratings that are negative ... as in less than zero. Last season alone, his UZR/150 rating was -58.5, and -111.9 in center field alone. Now I can't explain how one comes up with a UZR rating, but a numbers that low would basically make someone less useful in the field than Timmy Lupus. How do you get up in the morning at -111.9?

Those ratings are better this season, but still negative. I'm guessing this means that all these diving, running, sliding catches he's making ... Carlos Beltran would be camped under those balls for a couple of seconds.

But Sullivan is indeed making these catches, which is more than you could say for, say, Angel Pagan on Doug Davis' single (sidebar question for Snoop: How do you bench Pagan for making a dopey decision, but not Luis Castillo for making a lazy throw?) And besides, another way to evaluate a player is how they perform when the team they play on has been playing meaningless games since early June. Sullivan is a bright spot. To Snoop's discredit, there aren't many of those.

Now, let's hope that Sullivan doesn't go into next April undervalued ... or overvalued.

***

My bad:

"I don't know how David Wright has made it through the season healthy" -Metstradamus, multiple times over the past week.

I knew saying that was a bad idea every time the words came out of my mouth.

***

But hey, there are reasons to cheer up. First off, the Mets are wearing throwback uniforms this weekend that don't involve the Dodgers! Of course, they don't really throw back to anything the Mets have ever worn, but the fact that they're honoring the Giants and not the Dodgers is a small step in the right direction.

And hey, you might be able to see this weekend's games on the cheap, thanks to the Mets! Yeah, they're slashing ticket prices! The New York Mets: the Crazy Eddie of Major League Baseball. Awesome.

***

More cheer: You know it's rare that interesting things happen to two members of the Metstradamus Hall of Hate that end up on You Tube, but for those who haven't seen them, here's part one of the snicker parade, courtesy of NY Baseball Digest and Baseball Think Factory:



I'll never listen to his opening theme song the same way again ... "He'll get you the sports any way that he can." HA! He's getting a lot of flack for this on the web, but his pompousness has brought it on himself.

Shane Victorino, on the other hand, didn't bring this on himself. At least I don't think so:



Now, that's a very bad thing to do ... spill beer on a player. We don't condone that here on this website, even if Victorino is in the Hall of Hate by a landslide vote, and even if he is the devil. You still shouldn't spill beer on him.

(I did chuckle when it happened. I know, I'm going to hell ... oh what am I saying. Have you seen the standings? And have you seen that Pedro Martinez pitched five effective innings for the Phillies? I'm IN hell!!!)

My favorite part is the Phillies fan throwing peanuts at the Cubs fan after the beer was thrown. And the whole row got thrown out to boot.

Now remember for all you kids out there, this is not acceptable behavior. And if you enjoyed the previous video, you need penance. Donate to your favorite charity. Or, donate to Gary, Keith, and Ron's favorite charities by buying t-shirts and stuff. And if you use the code "blogger" before August 15th, then you can take 15% off of everything ... including tickets for the final game of the season where you can attend the end of season Gary, Keith and Ron event.

Remember, use the code "blogger" for discounts. If you use the code "Metstradamus", a video of Keith laughing at you will pop up on the screen. So just type "blogger".

Indestructible

So what's more surprising: that the Mets actually won a game in Petco Park, or that Livan Hernandez didn't dislocate a finger while teaching the kids in the front row the fist pump with explosion?

Oh yeah, I forgot. Livan is the indestructible one on the team ... like the Terminator. One specializes in superior artificial intelligence that adjusts to his surroundings, the other has a 63 mph curve ball.

Johan Santana hasn't been quite as indestructible from the mound, but he's slowly getting back to that point, as we're starting to see the second half Santana we all know and love. Sure, it doesn't matter. And yeah, it's only the Padres lineup. But it's the same Padres lineup that sent Terminator to an early shower, and beat the Mets about 200 straight times. So we'll just have to collect as many individual victories as we can, even if we can't add 'em all up in October and exchange 'em for a stuffed Daffy Duck at the bazaar.

***

With the way things have gone this season and this weekend, set against the backdrop of the Yankees sweeping the Red Sox at the new Yankee Stadium, something in my mind brought me back to an obscure piece written that I had linked to before. It's haunting as you go through it, so let's look back for fun (from 2007):

A study of the two new baseball stadiums by feng shui expert Judith Wendell found the Yankees' future home has good luck while the Mets' Citi Field will be plagued by "a lot of disturbed energy."

Oh, it gets better.

The Yanks broke ground on Babe Ruth's birthday, Aug. 16, and are repeating many elements of the old stadium, including the angles for home plate and the positions of the dugouts. Cathedral arches and the entire façade will also recapture the old Yankee Stadium incarnations.

"In feng shui terms, they are taking the 'predecessor chi' and bringing it with them and graphing it on to the new stadium, which is very good for luck," said Wendell, whose company, Sacred Currents, consults with building and homeowners.

As opposed to the team in New York that wanted no reminders of their old stadium whatsoever, right? You mean, that would have been good luck? Ah s**t.

"Unlike being christened with water [at Yankee Stadium], I felt energetically blocked," she said. "When I did dowse around the site, my rod spun wildly in various spots, thus denoting disturbed energy."

I hear there's a blue pill for that.

But now, get ready to laugh:

There is one bright spot for Met followers: Citi Field's color scheme of dark blue exposed steel with green seats and red brick are what Wendell calls a "power combination."

HA! LOLZ!!! POWER COMBINATION??? THE TEAM THAT HAS THREE HOME RUNS ALL SEASON??? ROFL!!!!!! Green seats and red brick are a power combination ... for Mark Reynolds, maybe. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!

Jeez, forget moving in the fences, what this place needs is a smudging ceremony. But it involves lighting a fire, so with the Mets luck in stead of lighting a match, they'll set fire to John Maine's arm ... the one that isn't hurt.

***

I see that Satan showed up the home plate ump from center field and got what he deserved. Remember all you kids out there, you're not allowed to argue balls and strikes. It's rule 9.02a.

***

And finally, if you were wondering how player development was going since Tony Bernazard left, wonder no more, as the crack staff has obtained this exclusive footage (that's been on the internet for ten days ... I think the crack staff is using the under .500 record as an excuse for being lazy):

Your Fifth Annual Hall of Hate Winner:

Hang all the chads you want, this guy just can't lose an election. First, he wins the vote for the final all-star. But being inducted into the Metstradamus "Hall of Hate" is forever. Congratulations to Shane Victorino. Put on the jacket and join Bobby Bo's card game. Here are the results:

• Shane Victorino -- 25% -- 288
• Jimmy Rollins -- 16% -- 186
• Cole Hamels -- 15% -- 166
• Guillermo Mota -- 11% -- 130
• Brett Myers -- 9% -- 106
• Pete Rose -- 6% -- 65
• Mel Rojas -- 4% --44
• Jeff Torborg -- 3% -- 33
• Joe Torre -- 3% -- 32
• Richie Hebner -- 2% -- 26
• Albert Pujols -- 2% -- 22
• Tony Fernandez -- 1% --17
• John Thomson -- 1% -- 13
• Eddie Murray -- 1% -- 10

I can't say I'm surprised that it's a landslide. But honestly, I would have bet the house on Cole Hamels, what with the whole "choke" thing fresh in everyone's minds. But as I've said, a vote for Victorino is proof that the Met fan is a true connoisseur of hate, and not merely a part-time dabbler. Thank you to all who took the time to have your voice be heard.

And thanks to our friends at New York Baseball Digest for inviting me to make the announcement on their weekly radio show. You'll be happy to know we're already preparing for next season's vote where there will be some new names and perhaps a few new wrinkles. There might even be a Veteran's Committee to make the experience more authentic for you, the voter. Here's to 2010!

Free Flowing All Star Hostility

I would have thrown a brick through my television after the American League's latest All-Star victory ... but I had already thrown the brick through the T.V. when I was watching a replay of the 1995 game earlier today, and Robby Alomar pinch ran for Carlos Baerga.

Oh, and a second brick finished the job when I realized that in 1995, Jose Offerman was an All-Star.

I don't know what's worse. Jose Offerman appearing in an All-Star game, or Angel Hernandez getting to umpire in one. What, was a hallucinating squirrel not available?

And count me as the millionth person who has complained about this, but how can we have a dedicated camera to get a shot inside the nostrils of some actor from Fringe, but no camera available to show us if the President of the United States threw a strike on the ceremonial first pitch???

Or was that camera sent to stake out Brett Favre's workout for the Vikings? Please, FOX, get out of the baseball business and stick to your little Dow Jones reality show where you mix stock tips and beer. ("Buy Apple! Hiccup ...")

Now it's all good, because all Tuesday means is that the Phillies aren't going to have home field advantage in Game 7 when they win the World Series in five games and drive me over the edge for good. But seriously, that starting lineup the N.L. put out there outside of David Wright must have been put together by Satan himself ... Hanley Ramirez? Chase Utley? Albert Pujols? Raul Ibanez? Shane Victorino? Yadier Freakin' Molina? All on one lineup? Whoopie!!!

Man ... if Larry Jones had started instead of Wright I would have had a drink with those Happy Hour guys to commemorate it. (Get me a vodka stinger with a Clorox back, and step on it!)

It's The Fifth Annual Hall of Hate Vote!

So it's the All-Star Break ... no Mets baseball until Thursday (although, if you're a Met fan, you haven't really seen baseball since May, so what does it matter to you?) But that doesn't mean that baseball can't fill your lives. First, you had Monday night's glorified batting practice/swing destroyer known as the Home Run Derby. And then tonight, you have the All-Star Game from St. Louis.

But in between, why don't you flex your frustration muscles and vote in our fifth annual Hall of Hate Elections.

Here's the standard background material for the uninitiated and those who haven't been here long (which doubles as a form letter since I pretty much cut and pasted this from last season's vote):

Soon after starting this blog, I created a daily hate list...five people, places, or things that put a bee in my bonnet for that particular calendar day. Mostly baseball players, but many times I would go off the board. From there, due to overwhelming positive response, it evolved into a more permanent and lasting "Hall of Hate", of which the original 25 members were chosen by me, here. It was meant to be a list that encompassed the biggest "enemies" in Mets history, the ones who the mere mention of their names makes one want to drink a bottle of ipecac just so you can puke all over your dog.

Not being enough to satiate the appetite of you, the hating fan, I opened balloting up for additional members, and so far you have voted in five candidates (most of them deserving) in 2005, and then to three more in 2006 to join the original 25, along with two more in 2007, and Tom Glavine in 2008. The balloting would usually coincide with whatever vacation time I was taking, but this season I decided to make it my very own All-Star festivity (and you don't even have to pay a couple hundred bucks to get in unlike the Home Run Derby.)

Here's the deal, you get one vote per computer. Amongst the list, you can vote for multiple candidates ... anyone you feel deserve induction (so you can check off as many boxes you want, but you can only click "vote" once). You have until 11:59PM on Thursday, July 23rd to cast your vote. Just as the case last season, only the top vote-getter gains induction into the Hall of Hate, so fill out your ballot with the utmost of care.

Here now are your candidates for the Hall of Hate:

Pete Rose: Picked a fight with a man half his size because his team was getting it's Big Red Tails kicked in during the 1973 NLCS. Received 63 votes in 2008 and was a distant sixth in the voting.

John Thomson: A recent nominee for his recent trashing of Paul Lo Duca as a reason for not signing with the Mets. Also, pitched like a wet dishrag in his prior stint for the Mets in 2002. Thomson dropped 54 votes in 2007 to just 22 last year.

Jimmy Rollins: His debut on the Hall of Hate ballot, basically for bragging about his team ... and then backing it up. Rollins proclaimed his team "the team to beat", and then getting key hit after key hit to knock the Mets out of the playoffs. Rollins' appearance on the ballot is partly hate, but partly a respect thing. Rollins finished in second place last season with 165 votes, just 12 away from the "winner", Tom Glavine.

Brett Myers: Hates the Mets, hits his wife. Myers' appearance on the ballot is not out of respect, but true hate. Myers finished fifth last season with 129 votes.

Jeff Torborg: Managed the 1993 Mets, who exposed him as a managing fraud. (Also managed the 2003 World Champion Marlins, but only during the beginning of that season when they stunk.) Received 55 votes and was eighth in 2007's voting, dropped to tenth with 24 votes last season.

Guillermo Mota: Was on the list in the past for transgressions against Mike Piazza. After shaking off Paul Lo Duca en route to giving up a series-changing double to Scott Spiezio, getting busted for a banned substance, and for basically dubbing 2007 as his own personal year of suck, he remains on the ballot after finishing a strong third in the voting in 2008 with 162 votes.

Mel Rojas: Was traded to the Mets as part of the Turk Wendell deal. The reason it's called the Turk Wendell deal is because Rojas was about as useful as a band-aid on a gunshot wound. Rojas gave up a home run to Paul O'Neill in 1997 that finally landed in 2002. Rojas' greatest transgression was his final act as a Met, which was bringing back Bobby Bonilla in a trade. Rojas finished seventh with 46 votes in '08.

Cole Hamels: Started off by lecturing Paul Lo Duca on how to celebrate home runs after about ten minutes in the league ... but makes the list with his "choke artists" rant over this past winter on WFAN. First time nominee.

Joe Torre: From "Clueless Joe" as a Met, to a hall of famer (and Roger Clemens apologist) as a Yankee. And now gets ready to stick it to the Mets with the help of Manny Ramirez as a Dodger. Dropped from fifth in 2007 with 77 votes to ninth with 33 votes in 2008.

Richie Hebner: Wanted no part of the Mets, and played like it at third base. He set the standard for giving baseball fans the finger during his only season in New York. Hebner has been dropping like a stone in the voting, going from 65 to 34 to 20 votes over the past three seasons. Remains on the list because, well ... he deserves it.

Eddie Murray: The first baseman of the worst team money could buy, the 1993 Mets. Is it really a compliment when you're the leader of misfits? In a weird statistical quirk, Murray has finished in 11th place for three straight seasons.

Tony Fernandez: Was successful at every major league stop he made, except Shea Stadium, where he had maybe three hits in half a season, and blamed gallstones. Tony received 18 votes in 2007 and finished last in the voting, but avoided last place in '08 with 22 votes.

Albert Pujols: Made the ballot in 2007 not-so-subtle digging into Tom Glavine after Game 1 of the NLCS, combined with being on the trainers table receiving "treatment" during the ninth inning of the 2007 All-Star Game, possibly costing the Mets a shot at home field advantage in the '07 World Series. Pujols was 4th in 2007's voting with 104 votes, but dropped all the way to eighth with 39 votes last season.

Shane Victorino: General pain in the ass, has shared Brett Myers' disdain for the Mets in the past while taunting the Mets by standing on home plate after scoring and clapping in the general direction of the Mets dugout ... yet somehow escapes criticism from the national baseball media because he's a "gamer" and because he's not Jose Reyes. Victorino was fourth in 2008 with 156 votes.

And as always, you may write in a vote here in the comments section. If someone gets enough write-in votes, then yes, I'll put him in (unless it's an obvious attempt by a rogue group of Yankee fans that want to experiment and see if they can get somebody like Tom Seaver or Gary Carter on the list just by creating computer systems that will write the same name hundreds of times. So don't even bother, because I hold final veto rights). And in terms of write-ins, if you write in a vote please make it easy for this old man and put the name in bold or something like that. (But please, before you come out with a comment like "Where's Bobby Bonilla" or "What about Chipper Jones", please refer to the original induction list along with the additions via fan balloting below).

Your Hall of Hate members:

Mike Scioscia-Charter Member
Jeff Kent-Charter Member
Robby Alomar-Charter Member
Rey Ordonez-Charter Member
Larry Jones-Charter Member
Bobby Bonilla-Charter Member
Vince Coleman-Charter Member
Ken Griffey Jr.-Charter Member
Roger Clemens-Charter Member
Mike Hampton-Charter Member
Mike Scott-Charter Member
John Tudor-Charter Member
David Wells-Charter Member
Armando Benitez-Charter Member
John Rocker-Charter Member
Donne Wall-Charter Member
Mike Stanton-Charter Member
Mike DeJean-Charter Member
Brian Jordan-Charter Member
Eddie Perez-Charter Member
Pat Burrell-Charter Member
Terry Pendleton-Charter Member
Jose Vizciano-Charter Member
Pedro Guerrero-Charter Member
Juan Gonzalez-Charter Member
Whitey Herzog-Charter Member
Art Howe-Charter Member
Dallas Green-Charter Member
Al Harazin-Charter Member
The 1993 Home Uniforms-Charter Member
Kenny Rogers-Voted in 2005
Derek Jeter-Voted in 2005
Mo Vaughn-Voted in 2005
Joe Randa-Voted in 2005
M. Donald Grant-Voted in 2005
Mike Francesa- Voted in 2006
Jim Duquette- Voted in 2006
Steve Phillips- Voted in 2006
Dick Young- Voted in 2007
Braden Looper- Voted in 2007
Tom Glavine- Voted in 2008

You have the power to decide who joins them. The candidates are already putting their campaigns together:

Punk'd? More Like Park'd

The Mets lost this game well before the Chase Utley home run.

They lost this game because sixteen hits could only bring home four runs.

They lost Wednesday's game when Dan Iassogna called Carlos Beltran out on the double play that should have scored the fifth run as Beltran was clearly safe. Funny how there was a recent conversation about how bad the umpiring has been this year, and it was awful again tonight on many counts ... most which benefited the Mets, but that call was key (forgive me if I start scoffing every time an umpire starts complaining about instant replay ... seriously, I'm starting to not care if baseball games go ten hours each just so we can have replay review every single damn play ... either that or we need to invent "Umpbots"). And even if that call was right, you knew that it would be a key point in the game since the Mets had one chance to blow Cole Hamels out and he didn't do it.

They really lost this game in the seventh, when Snoop decided to call a sac bunt with a guy at the plate who hadn't had a sac bunt in seven years. Fernando Tatis has some pop, no? Well, not when he's called to bunt, giving away your sixth hitter. And with a successful sacrifice (another, most likely terrible call), you give away your seventh hitter as Ryan Church was intentionally walked to set up Omir Santos ... meaning that hitters six and seven were wasted, leaving the bulk of the work to be done by hitters eight and nine. I know Snoop loves Omir but man, that wasn't quite gangsta.

But they really, really, really lost the game because of their inability to score a damn run off Chan Ho Park. Ryan Church had him 3-0 and let two meatballs zip right on by him like they were old men in vans wearing trench coats asking him if he wanted candy. Then on 3-2 he swings at slop in the dirt. I've grown a small affinity for Church, as he's become the red-headed step child of the organization. But if that at-bat was any more putrid I'd have to close my windows and throw towels under the doors.

So let's review the rubber game of the series: Tim Redding on the mound, which has recently resulted in poundings by the Red Sox and Marlins, a spent bullpen with Frankie having been burned for two innings on Wednesday. I guess that J.J. Putz will have to close tomorrow we should be prepared for the "give up" lineup on Thursday, resting guys for the Yankee series.

• SS Valdez
• 2B Cora
• 1B Murphy
• 3B Hebner
• LF Martinez
• CF Reed
• RF Emil Brown
• C Alberto Castillo
• P Redding

With Carlos Muniz as the only guy available out of the bullpen. (But seriously, they're probably going to have to pound Moyer like chop meat again to have any sort of chance.)

And I'm mildly disappointed that Pelfrey didn't drill Hamels after the "choke" comments (but kudos to Alex Cora for going up the middle hard on him). He made up for it though by telling Utley and Shane Victorino to shove it. I'll take any moral victory I can get.

Did I mention ... Chan Ho Park???!?!?!?!??? For crying out loud.

Coors Light

Citi Field ... Launching pad?

It's almost as if David Wright entered the clubhouse sheepishly and asked the ballpark for forgiveness after word got out that its feelings were hurt.

"No no, Citi ... you really ARE a nice park." -David Wright

Forgiveness came in the form of a first inning home run for Wright, and you knew it would be a nutty night. In fact, there were seven home runs at Citi tonight, or ... one more than Wright, Ryan Church, and Jose Reyes have had all season. Church also added to his total by almost breaking the apple into millions and millions of pieces (which would have been immediately sold by Steiner Sports online for $150 each ... an extra hundred if Church signs the fiberglass shard).

Of course, the park got some revenge by letting the Phillies have four of the home runs, which was wrought with "don't mess with Mother Nature" moments. But all those homers got Johan Santana all jacked up that he wanted to get in on the act. Now he's a pitcher so all he could muster was a double. But heck, it tied the game and set up Church's eventual game winner, so nobody's quibbling here. Well, except for Johan ... who has a touch of the crazies these days.

"I’m a man. I’m a man," Manuel remembered his ace telling him. "What he means by that, I don’t know."

Great, he's finally snapped after a year and a half of this franchise. While everyone else gets hurt physically, Johan is imagining he's Steve Winwood.



And speaking of crazies, what the hell was Shane Victorino staring down after the game? Did anyone else catch him stare down the field from the dugout? Who or what was he looking at? Or was he taking notes on which Mets were celebrating too much so that Jimmy Rollins can lecture the media on what behavior is acceptable on a baseball field? (No ... you shush.)

Jeez, just have a seat in the clubhouse, Shane. (The nice, new luxurious visitor's clubhouse.)

Oh, and while I'm on the subject, how exactly did Carlos Beltran get tagged with the "no class" label while Cole Hamels basically got off without a slap on the wrist for his "choker" comments? I ask this because hey, guess who's pitching tomorrow ...

Line drives up the middle are good, fundamental baseball. Just sayin'.

Passing The Savings On To Bill Welke

Four saves in four days? Heck, last season's Mets couldn't get four saves in four weeks. Surprising since I fully expected J.J. Putz to get the call tonight after he got the rest on Wednesday night. So Frankie Rodriguez? Money well spent indeed as he finished off a two game sweep of the Phillies on Thursday.

But really, it's five saves in four days as Frankie not only saved four games, but he also saved Bill Welke from well deserved scorn. I mean, can someone explain to me how Jose Reyes gets obstruction called on him for being elbowed in the ribs by Shane Victorino, who went out of his way to find him like he was Mark Gastineau chasing Brian Sipe?

And I don't want to hear about how smart and crafty Shane Victorino is. He's a baseball war criminal, and needs to have one put in his ribs for that next time, whether the media agrees with it or not. And if the Mets are not allowed to read the tabloids anymore, then who cares what they say anyway ... Good Vibes! Hey, If Larry Andersen can call for Jose Reyes' head, I can call for Victorino's ribs. Would anybody else on the Phillies have tried that besides the Flyin' Hawaiian? Maybe there should be a rule put in place named after him like a certain hockey player had for him.

Welke? Awful. And that's not even taking into account the blown call on the double play earlier in the game. That Jayson Werth home run should have never happened, and Frankie probably should have never been in the game. But because Welke fell for Victorino's "crafty play" (somehow I figure that Angel Hernandez taught him everything he knows), Rodriguez had to make yet another appearance, successful though it might have been. The ironic part is that Snoop Manuel hitting Welke with the bill of his cap while arguing the play will get more attention from the commissioner's office than Victorino's elbow. Oh well, it'll be one or two less late inning Omir Santos substitutions we'll have to dissect.

Instead let's dissect good things, like four saves in four nights, Mike Pelfrey's good outing, and home runs at the new spacious home by the three players who need to get (or keep) going, Beltran, Wright, and Reyes off of Jamie Moyer, who is finally listening to what his mother most assuredly told him at some point and is acting his age. Complain if you will about no production against the bullpen, but again, the game should have never been that close.

And did I mention that Victorino needs a baseball in his ribs?

Obsessed Much?

J.REYES

That was the caption written under a picture very similar to the one above of Shane Victorino daring to celebrate after a game tying playoff home run and pasted in Victorino's locker before Game 5 of the NLCS. Obviously a jab at Victorino for showing emotion. Funny how this team has surpassed the Mets, left them in the dust, made them eat dust, yet are still obsessed with them. Professionals? Or bitter schoolgirls? You decide.

Too bad the Dodgers didn't see it and get all pissed off and use it as the inspiration to beat the crap out of them the rest of the series. Oh yeah, that only happens to the Mets.

On the bright side, Manny Ramirez is a free agent. The bad news is that the Manny that Omar Minaya goes after will probably wind up being Manny Alexander.

Excuse me while I stick my head in the oven.

The Florida Marlins: Behind The Blow

Well, another red letter season has come do an end (and that red letter is F ... I'll let you figure out what that stands for.) And believe it or not, I still have s**t to say. The following is one in a series of random stuff I'm throwing against the wall about person or persons of my choosing. These are your New York Mets: Behind the Blow.

Somebody asked me if I was going to put the Marlins organization on the ballot for the annual Hall of Hate vote in 2009, after knocking out the Mets in 2007 and 2008. I can't do it ... because in '09, they end the season in Philadelphia instead of New York. So we might need them.

Now when they inevitably lie down and die against Philly to give them their third straight division title, then I'll think about it.

By the way, the Marlins have re-signed Wes Helms. I just thought I would mention that.

For close to four full seasons, I've tried like hell to point out the crimes of baseball: Suit-wearing casual fans invading ballparks. Shane Victorino being the Theo Fleury of baseball. Brett Myers hating the Mets and being an otherwise pillar of society. Cody Ross waiting to yell at Mike Pelfrey until he was a safe distance away from him. Hanley Ramirez and his intense jealousy about New York that festers into hate. Wallace Matthews' writing about the Mets as if he's that kid who's three feet shorter than you that keeps daring you to hit him.

Baseball criminals all.

But the worst part about the Mets spitting the bit two years in the row is that I can't keep the criminals out anymore. They've stormed the castle and they're drinking our alcohol. And I have nary the energy to argue with them anymore. Shane Victorino? You're not obnoxious at all ... you're gritty and gutty. Myers? You are a pillar of society. Cody Ross? Yeah, you're absolutely right ... how dare Mike Pelfrey's fastball run inside. Hanley Ramirez? Yeah, those days where you have hundreds and not thousands of fans at your football stadium? New York's fault ... totally. Wallace Matthews? You're completely writing what's in your heart, and not trying to break records for negative comments ... totally. Jimmy Rollins? You're right. Baseball needs more robots. How dare we show emotion? Bandwagon fans who get their tickets for free and know nothing about what they're watching? Sure, pose for pictures during play and block my view. What do I care? I'm just a paying customer ... which is latin for "sucker".

Though I will say that the new shirt that the Marlins are selling on their website has gone a little too far.

Also available in black or teal.

(Updated Editor's note: And with this, the venom is back. Because we need Joba Chamberlain's f***ing hat in the hall of fame to encourage the bloated legacy of a guy who hasn't pitched 150 innings in his career ... but he's a Yankee so let's all bow!!! But before you get upset about the lack of items from Shea Stadium's last game in comparison to all the Yankee items, don't be so sure that the Mets hadn't sold everything to the highest bidder already.)

There's Only One October In Hell Too

You do realize of course that participating in this season's World Series will be one of the following options:

• The Phillies
• Guillermo Mota
• Jeff Kent

That's like a choice between being doused in battery acid, drinking a full bottle of Drano, or driving cross-country with Jerome from Manhattan riding shotgun.

Gee, all we need is for their opponent in Game 1 to be Scott Kazmir for it to officially be the World Series from Hell.

I'll tell you one person that the World Series most likely will not include, and that's Frankie Rodriguez ... who, after getting battered in Game 2 of the ALDS, is looking more and more like he'll fit right in here in Flushing.

***

"It wasn't dirty," he said, initially unwilling to discuss the play. "If that was the case, I would've just bowled him over ..." -Shane Victorino after Game 3 vs. the Brewers

Yeah, this was much better than bowling him over.

Just For Mets

I never bother with post game news conferences. People get up to the podium and say the same boring things over and over again. Drives me nuts.

So when it was time for Snoop Manuel to discuss what was perhaps the worst loss of the season afterwards, I got ready to leave the room only to hear his opening statement:

"Oh it's baaaaaaaaad. It's baaaaaaaaad."

Sign number one your season is in trouble: When your manager sounds like Emmitt Smith in the rocking chair from the Just For Men commercial, it really is bad. Emmitt, thespian that he is, sounded like he was dying in the commercial (I don't know how you die from gray hair but that's another conversation.) This Mets season is dying a slow painful death too.

It should have been a glorious evening with the Braves not only doing to the Phillies what they did to the Mets this week, but with Julian Tavarez and Shane Victorino arguing like two old ladies going after the last hair clip at Target.

(Editor's note: If Shane Victorino and Julian Tavarez fought to the death, I wouldn't know who to root for.)

Instead, only missed opportunity ... much like that ninth inning where Daniel Murphy tripled to start off the inning, and David Wright struck out for the first out, allowing the Cubs to walk the Carloses to get to the absolutely putrid Ryan Church ... who promptly grounded into a fielders choice for the second out to expedite the end of the inning, and perhaps the Mets' playoff hopes.

(Retrospective Irony: If Murphy had only singled rather than tripled, the Carloses get at-bats instead of intentional walks after Wright's strikeout. But if Wright doesn't swing at ball four, then at least one of them gets an at-bat. At least Wright is still handsome, and has a wax statue.)

Oh it's bad, especially when Fredi Gonzalez has announced that he's playing his regulars in the final series of the season.

Asked why, Florida's manager said: "To stick it to the Mets again just as we did last year because we hate them and we hate everything about them For the integrity of the game and for the way you should play the game. That's the only way to do it. Like we did last year."

Yup, I think Wednesday was the last nail in the coffin. Oh it's baaaaaaaaaaad.

(Editor's note: In the spirit of missed opportunity, I am usually keenly aware of chicken finger night on Wednesdays, when my job puts out chicken fingers for the staff. Last night, I missed the chicken fingers. I felt like Ryan Church, David Wright, and Fluff Castro combined. So it was that kind of night. I choked. Clearly, it's an epidemic.)

Your Fourth Annual Hall of Hate Vote

Hey, Aaron Heilman's implosion got ya' down? Don't despair because it's that time boys and girls. It's time for Metstradamus to go on vacation, which means it's time for you to take out your frustrations by voting for the next member of the Metstradamus Hall of Hate!

Some background for the unfamiliar (which eerily looks like the exact same thing typed last season ... which is why your blogger needs a vacation: He's burnt out.) Soon after starting this blog, I created a daily hate list...five people, places, or things that put a burr in my saddle for that particular calendar day. Mostly baseball players, but many times I would go off the board. From there, due to overwhelming positive response, it evolved into a more permanent and lasting "Hall of Hate", of which the original 25 members were chosen by me, here. It was meant to be a list that encompassed the biggest "enemies" in Mets history, the ones who the mere mention of their names makes one want to drink a bottle of ipecac just so you can puke all over your dog.

Not being enough to satiate the appetite of you, the hating fan, I opened balloting up for additional members, and so far you have voted in five candidates (most of them deserving) in 2005, and then to three more in 2006 to join the original 25, along with two more in 2007. The balloting would coincide with whatever vacation time I was taking.

Well it's that time once again. Metstradamus leaves you for a much deserved and much needed vacation ... but leaves you with a fun procedure to undertake for the next eight days. You, the people, get to vote on the next members of the Hall of Hate via the poll in the sidebar.

Here's the deal, you get one vote per computer. Amongst the list, you can vote for multiple candidates ... anyone you feel deserve induction (so you can check off as many boxes you want, but you can only click "vote" once). You have until 5:59PM on Sunday, August 10th to cast your vote. Later that night the winner will be announced on New York Baseball Digest with Mike Silva (exciting!) This will be the first year that only the top vote-getter gains induction into the Hall of Hate, so fill out your ballot with the utmost of care.

Here now are your candidates for the Hall of Hate:

Pete Rose: Picked a fight with a man half his size because his team was getting it's Big Red Tails kicked in during the 1973 NLCS. Received 76 votes in 2007 and was sixth in the voting.

John Thomson: A new nominee for his recent trashing of Paul Lo Duca as a reason for not signing with the Mets. Also, pitched like a wet dishrag in his prior stint for the Mets in 2002. Thomson was ninth with 54 votes last year.

Jimmy Rollins: His debut on the Hall of Hate ballot, basically for bragging about his team ... and then backing it up. Rollins proclaimed his team "the team to beat", and then getting key hit after key hit to knock the Mets out of the playoffs. Rollins' appearance on the ballot is a respect thing.

Brett Myers: Hates the Mets, hits his wife. Myers' appearance on the ballot is not out of respect, but true hate.

Jeff Torborg: Managed the 1993 Mets, who exposed him as a managing fraud. (Also managed the 2003 World Champion Marlins, but only during the beginning of that season when they stunk.) Received 55 votes and was eighth in last year's voting.

Guillermo Mota: Was on the list in the past for transgressions against Mike Piazza. After shaking off Paul Lo Duca en route to giving up a series-changing double to Scott Spiezio, getting busted for a banned substance, and for basically dubbing 2007 as his own personal year of suck, he re-appears on the ballot.

Mel Rojas: Was traded to the Mets as part of the Turk Wendell deal. The reason it's called the Turk Wendell deal is because Rojas was about as useful as a band-aid on a gunshot wound. Rojas gave up a home run to Paul O'Neill in 1997 that finally landed in 2002. Rojas' greatest transgression was his final act as a Met, which was bringing back Bobby Bonilla in a trade. Rojas garnered 65 votes and finished seventh in the 2006 balloting.

Joe Torre: From "Clueless Joe" as a Met, to a hall of famer (and Roger Clemens apologist) as a Yankee. And now gets ready to stick it to the Mets with the help of Manny Ramirez as a Dodger. Was fifth in 2007 with 77 votes.

Richie Hebner: Wanted no part of the Mets, and played like it at third base. If I'm correct, he set the standard for giving baseball fans the finger. Received 34 votes in 2007 and was tenth in the voting (down from 65 votes in '06).

Eddie Murray: The first baseman of the worst team money could buy, the 1993 Mets. Is it really a compliment when you're the leader of misfits? Eddie was 11th in last year's voting with 29 votes (after being 11th the previous year with 30 votes).

Tony Fernandez: Was successful at every major league stop he made, except Shea Stadium, where he had maybe three hits in half a season, and blamed gallstones. Tony received 18 votes in 2007 and finished last in the voting.

Albert Pujols: Made the ballot last year not-so-subtle digging into Tom Glavine after Game 1 of the NLCS, combined with being on the trainers table receiving "treatment" during the ninth inning of the 2007 All-Star Game, possibly costing the Mets a shot at home field advantage in the '07 World Series. Pujols was 4th in last year's voting with 104 votes. And speaking of Glavine:

Tom Glavine: Had a decent Mets career before derailing during the last three weeks, and certainly the last day ... compounded by his "disappointing not devastating" comment afterwards. But let's not forget his start as a Met, a 4,397-2 loss to the Cubs on Opening Day of 2003 ... a day so cold and so dreary that I, of all people, left in the sixth inning. I personally wouldn't vote for Glavine but there's enough of you that still hold a grudge that he needs to be on the list. I don't blame you.

Shane Victorino: General pain in the ass, has shared Brett Myers' disdain for the Mets in the past while taunting the Mets by standing on home plate after scoring and clapping in the general direction of the Mets dugout ... yet somehow escapes criticism from the national baseball media because he's a "gamer" and because he's not Jose Reyes.

And as always, you may write in a vote here in the comments section. If someone gets enough write-in votes, then yes, I'll put him in (unless it's an obvious attempt by a rogue group of Yankee fans that want to experiment and see if they can get somebody like Tom Seaver or Gary Carter on the list just by creating computer systems that will write the same name hundreds of times. So don't even bother). And in terms of write-ins, if you write in a vote please make it easy for this old man and put the name in bold or something like that. (But please, before you come out with a comment like "Where's Bobby Bonilla" or "What about Chipper Jones", please refer to the original induction list along with the additions via fan balloting below).

Your Hall of Hate members:

Mike Scioscia-Charter Member
Jeff Kent-Charter Member
Robby Alomar-Charter Member
Rey Ordonez-Charter Member
Larry Jones-Charter Member
Bobby Bonilla-Charter Member
Vince Coleman-Charter Member
Ken Griffey Jr.-Charter Member
Roger Clemens-Charter Member
Mike Hampton-Charter Member
Mike Scott-Charter Member
John Tudor-Charter Member
David Wells-Charter Member
Armando Benitez-Charter Member
John Rocker-Charter Member
Donne Wall-Charter Member
Mike Stanton-Charter Member
Mike DeJean-Charter Member
Brian Jordan-Charter Member
Eddie Perez-Charter Member
Pat Burrell-Charter Member
Terry Pendleton-Charter Member
Jose Vizciano-Charter Member
Pedro Guerrero-Charter Member
Juan Gonzalez-Charter Member
Whitey Herzog-Charter Member
Art Howe-Charter Member
Dallas Green-Charter Member
Al Harazin-Charter Member
The 1993 Home Uniforms-Charter Member
Kenny Rogers-Voted in 2005
Derek Jeter-Voted in 2005
Mo Vaughn-Voted in 2005
Joe Randa-Voted in 2005
M. Donald Grant-Voted in 2005
Mike Francesa- Voted in 2006
Jim Duquette- Voted in 2006
Steve Phillips- Voted in 2006
Dick Young- Voted in 2007
Braden Looper- Voted in 2007

You have the power to decide who joins them. Remember, your vote counts. And back to remind you for this recruiting campaign:

Sprinkles On That Snow Cone? (Alternate Title: The One Where Kyle Lohse Finally Turns Into A Pumpkin)

Little did anybody know there was greatness afoot while Gary Cohen was busy comparing Argenis Reyes to Baba Looey (which apparently makes Jose Reyes Quick Draw McGraw). But during that discussion a sure home run was taken away from Ryan Ludwick by Carlos Beltran, jumping over the wall on the dead run to make a snow cone catch for the ages.

It was only the final El Kabong on a day full of them, as David Wright, Fernando Tatis, and Fluff Castro El Kabonged Kyle Lohse and his 12-2 record to smithereens with certified bombs. I mean, it would have been a little embarrassing to have Kyle Lohse, the guy who nobody signed until March, outduel Johan Santana, the guy who the Mets traded the farm for (in which there was nothing left to use to bring home Xavier Nady, bring back Casey Blake, or seemingly nothing in which to acquire the likes of Victor Diaz, Pete Incaviglia, or even Butch Huskey).

But Santana's newfound run support wouldn't let that happen today ... and neither would Santana, who was brilliant in going nine innings just like we said he had to do as we were leaving last night's debacle. Brilliant at the plate as well with two hits and a ribbie, even while losing his majestic fly ball in the lights and having to settle for a 337 foot single which would have been an out off the wall had Albert Pujols been covering first base (somehow, Jose Reyes will be blamed for this ... he's blamed for everything.)

"He was very adamant about going back out ... He wanted a complete game, and it was good." -Snoop Manuel

Not just good, it was El Kabong good.

You know, in the NFL, a helmet to helmet hit is a suspension. Just sayin'.

Put A Jersey On

Ooh, Jose Reyes raised a finger too long. Quick, get Goose Gossage on the phone so he can weigh in with his expert Hall of Fame opinion!

Here's why I'm a soothsayer: I knew this was coming. Knew it. Of course, anytime Jose Reyes does something uniquely celebratory he gets called on the carpet for it (Chris Russo once chastised him for clapping at his mom's birthday party), so it wasn't that hard to figure out. Little did I know that when I thought someone would bring it, it had already been brought.

Here's why I'm not going to get too crazy over this latest hypocrisy of Larry Andersen wanting to put one in Jose Reyes' neck, while Shane Victorino can run around being baseball's Theo Fleury with no criticism: Larry Andersen is a homer. All these baseball announcers are homers to some degree. Even Keith Hernandez slips once in a while and says "we" when he means "they", while Gary Cohen lets his Yankee disgust subtly seep through every once in a blue moon. But trust me on this, it gets worse when you get away from New York and move towards, say, Chicago. Try sitting through a White Sox game one day. I dare you.

Of course, Larry Andersen is going to say something stupid like that, while the trio of Gary, Keith and Ron are focusing more on the play than they are focusing on Theo Victorino standing on the plate and clapping at the Mets dugout. It's just the way it is. Of course, when supposedly neutral national pundits commit the same hypocrisy, that's when my blood boils. Because they're supposed to be above that garbage when they're obviously not. The bottom line is this: The deck is stacked against you and I. The Mets will always get fingers wagged at them while players wearing other uniforms will be celebrated doing the exact same thing. So I'm choosing another battle. It's pointless to fight because nobody listens to me anyway.

And about putting one in Reyes' neck? As I've said before: Don't sing it, bring it. You want to do something, do it. The Phillies had been doing a mighty fine job of pitching inside all series (although their targets ... Damion Easley and Johan Santana ... were interesting choices), and I wish the Mets would do more of that. Unfortunately, a guy like John Maine, who had chances to make Theo dance while Brett Myers was on the other side getting in everyone's kitchen, has proven time and again that he's not that kind of pitcher ... and it's a shame. With everyone taking shots at the Mets it's time somebody throw some haymakers back with no regard for the outcome.

And no, I'm not saying that the Mets should go out and "put one in someone's neck", but there are instances where throwing inside is appropriate. Hell, even if it's not appropriate, why the hell are the Mets worried about winning hearts and minds around the country? It's not happening. We're the bad guys. That's never going to change. Maybe it's time to start acting more the part.

And if Larry Andersen, a guy who hit 17 batters in 17 years in the majors, wants someone to put one in Reyes' neck, then maybe he, or whichever other Phillies announcer wants to be brave, should take Warren Sapp's advice, put a jersey on, and do it himself. I'm sure if Andersen ever had a fastball that could break a pane of glass or cut through a wind gust without being blown away like a kite, he'd try.

A Crowbar To The Knee

I don't think they've ever made a movie about that whole Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan situation. But if they ever did, you could easily cast So Taguchi as Jeff Gillooly. Playing the part of Kerrigan would be me in the fetal position screaming "Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Because that's basically what I do every time So Gillooly picks up a bat. Or is that a crowbar that he takes to the knees and ankles of Met fans?

(Playing Tonya Harding in my Lifetime movie of the week would have to be that pain in the ass Shane Victorino ... only instead of a wedding video, Victorino would just dress up in a t-shirt that says "F-the Mets" with a Hawaiian grass skirt and he'd just do the hula ... or maybe that "I'm safe" dance he did at second base ... on the Shea Stadium mound all night.)

I mean, you have to be kidding me. Victorino, Taguchi, and Jimmy Rollins in the same six-run ninth inning rally? I'm shocked that Larry Jones wasn't instantly traded to the Phillies so he could have followed Rollins to the plate and put an end to the Mets franchise right then and there. And maybe Yadier Molina, Brian Jordan, and Terry Pendleton could have all come out wearing Phillies uniforms with crowbars in a conga line while taking their hacks at the pinata that is the Mets bullpen.

Not for nothing, but f**k!

Of course, people will be asking themselves if Johan Santana should have pitched the ninth inning. First off, Snoop Manuel gave an informed reason as to why he didn't trot Santana out, that he's very rarely gone past 100 pitches. Fine. And for those of you who scream at me hoping for a return to the old days where pitchers went nine innings, forget it. Outside of Roy Halladay, those days are dead and buried forever. Tony "I'm a genius" La Russa blew up the baseball landscape, it's time to move on.

But the most important reason to not bother complaining about that is that it doesn't matter who pitched the ninth inning because ...

wait for it ...

protecting a three run lead with three outs to go shouldn't be that hard!!!

Should it?

That's why Gary Cohen giving us the "this bullpen, thrust into unfamiliar roles ..." made me a little crazy (as if the bullpen didn't make me crazy enough to throw my shoe). No! No! No! Your role is to win the game!

You play ...

to win ...

the game!!!

Three outs, three run lead. At that point, is it really necessary to be a "ninth inning guy" to get three outs? One run lead, yes. There's definitely a difference between a set-up guy in the role of closer ... and a closer. Three run lead? Stop. Get three outs.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Think about it. Have you ever seen So Taguchi and Jeff Gillooly in the same place at the same time?

And Luis Aguayo, I'm on to you. Endy Chavez doesn't get thrown out at home plate twice in one game unless he has help. You ran Jesse Orosco out of town with your season killing home run, and now you're back to finish the job like you were the villain in some awful sequel starring Steven Seagal. Now that Tom Glavine is gone the agency had to infiltrate the premises with another spy. And despite Jose Reyes' dopey decision to try to beat Victorino to second base instead of throwing out a slow-footed catcher (a move that would have had Hugh Fullerton circling his scorecard if it was 1919) my ... first ... guess ... is ... you.

The truth is out there, Aguayo.

The Mentality Of Five Hundred

I think that sometimes this season ... especially this season ... people have a tendency to wonder which win "gets the ball rolling". Is this the win that gets it going? Is it this one? Or is it this one? I'm not going to expect this win to be "the one". If anybody on the 25 man roster expects this to be "the one" then guess what, it isn't going to be. It's part of the reason that this club could forever be trapped in the mentality of .500.

"All right, that was huge ... now we can relax", they'll say. "Hopefully, this will be the one that gets us going", they'll cliche. But cliche's range from the ones they'll throw out to keep from giving away too much to the media, and the ones they'll use to give themselves a soft landing. I don't know what's being thrown out there, but these 2008 Mets can't expect one win to turn into eight.

Last night was huge. Finally, the Mets steal victory from the jaws of defeat instead of the other way around against the Phillies bullpen. You mean that the Mets didn't have another defeat that resembles the climactic scene in Rambo where Shane Victorino or Tad Iguchi bursts through the door and shoot up the place? Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you. It happened. And as a result, the Mets have managed to split two games with the Phillies in which Chris Aguila started in left field. Feels good. But how many times have the Mets had a good win and then been down 3-0 in the first inning the next day? And if momentum truly is the next day's starting pitcher, tell me who takes the hill for the Mets today ...

Damn right, uh-oh.

So if you're a Met and you want a win to feel good, then stop thinking about that win and go get another one. Saturday doesn't matter anymore, so maybe the best thing to do is try not to ride it like a magic carpet to that big run you've been expecting for a year and a half. It doesn't work that way.

And move that forgetfulness in both directions. Don't only forget the victory, but forget that you lost John Maine and Ryan Church to injuries. Maine had a cramp. Church had a migraine. Not Joe Magrane, and not another concussion (we hope). Migraine. He'll be there tomorrow (again, we hope).

It's a long season. To treat every at-bat of the season like it's the ninth inning of the seventh game of the NLCS is a little much to ask. I understand that. But I don't think it's much to ask to treat every at-bat over the next three games like it's the ninth inning of the seventh game of the NLCS. Because it's the Phillies. And because balls just don't roll ... they need to be pushed.

(Editor's note: Yes, he said three games ... two against the Phillies, and the first game at home against San Francisco just to avoid that "first game of the homestand" letdown that always bites them in the butt.)

This Fourth Firecracker Is A Dud

If somehow the Mets lose the fourth of July matchup with starts out as Johan Santana vs. J.A. Happ, I may never watch baseball again. -Metstradamus, yesterday

Did I just lose a retirement match? Do I need a parental control on my baseball package?

What's tonight's excuse? Pitchers with initials give you trouble?

So how did we know this one was over? Well outside of not hitting J.A. Happ for four innings and Chad Durbin for two and 1/3, for me it was when Carlos Beltran swung at ball four by his eyes with the bases loaded up 2-0 in the fifth. Beltran was 0 for 4 with two K's. I guess he needs more flippin' rest.

Or maybe just the pure ironic fact that Filthy Sanchez got through Ryan Howard and Pat Burrell in the ninth with no problem, but somehow not Pedro Feliz and Shane Victorino. But having said that, Victorino, a fast lefty with first base open, should have been walked. No doubt about it. Victorino is a pest who strikes out at a lower rate than Chris Coste, who was on deck, or anybody they could have pinch hit for him such as Greg Dobbs or Geoff Jenkins.

But why bother with even that little analysis. The Mets lost the one game in this series they had no business losing, after Johan Santana pitched a whale of a game. And of course, it's not only a loss, but a brutal loss ... because what other kinds of losses are we going to see in Philadelphia?

And since it's now July 4th, the magic day that people like to point to and say that teams in the lead on this day make the playoffs a certain amount of time, it's now the first day that I can say without fear of backlash that you're going to have a tough time convincing me that both this team and this season aren't a complete waste of time.

Channeling The Wrong Spirits

Aaron Heilman can't even hold a seance the right way.

In his fervor to channel the spirit of Don Drysdale, instead he has let the aura of Doug Sisk waft through him. (Perhaps he failed to use the "rap once for yes, rap twice for no" system.) And because of which, the Mets dropped the final game of their four game series against Philadelphia, 5-3...with the difference being the two runs Heilman gave away in the seventh. One on a home run to a guy that's 180 lbs. with a piano on his back, and the other one on an Aaron Rowand liner that made Heilman look like Charlie Brown.

I will not kill Mike Pelfrey...by all rights and purposes, it was a hard luck "L" that was hung on him today with David Wright's error being the margin of loss for Pelfrey. I would, however, have hoped that Mike DiFelice would have taught him to be a little more economical with his pitches.

I can't even kill the Mets lineup for not putting the hammer down on a third rookie, this one being Kyle Kendrick...a better brand of rookie than those faced earlier. Although Carlos Beltran could have traveled a lot further towards that cause by not hitting into a double play in the first inning. But Kendrick made pitches when he had to.

Heilman though, does not get off easy this time. Guillermo Mota is struggling, and he had a scoreless inning today. Scott Schoeneweis? Mets fans want his head on a platter. And he pitched a scoreless frame today. Heilman, the meat in that sandwich, was undercooked. The pain is very raw. If you are going to channel a spirit, please let it be someone with more movement on their pitches.

(Editor's note: Doug Sisk is not dead...only his career.)