Gator Bait

I can vouch for Ralph Kiner when he says that the best way to get away from an alligator is to run zig-zag. Because I heard the same thing years ago from an independent source. So Ron Darling had best remember this when the alligator comes after him during a round of golf and not be so dismissive.

You know what he also said during Thursday's loss to the Twins? He said that Fernando Martinez reminded him of Ted Williams. Well, so much for lowered expectations, right? This might scare me more than being chased by an alligator (or Sean Green coming into a game). Because you can't run from expectations ... zig-zag or otherwise.

The Stench Of Inactivity

When Nick Evans strode to the plate for the first time in 11 days after being kept in some sort of storage, the scent of mothballs and Sucrets was palpable. It was too much for Tim Byrdak to take, as it reminded him of his grandmother's room. He threw a meatball down the middle and Evans launched it for a triple.

But what people don't know is that the only reason Evans even reached the plate to pinch hit is that Snoop Manuel was distracted by the most recent webisode of The Office. That Snoop, always looking for new material. But despite Evans' appearance the Mets still won Friday's game, allaying Manuel's irrational fears that letting Evans on the field will lead to not only certain loss, certain death, and the firing of the manager, but cause the whole Citi Field foundation to crumble.

Oh wait, that was Ryan Church that caused that.

In other news, Yankee fans are apparently grumbling to their cult leader that Ron Darling is announcing their first round playoff games. Oh, wait a minute ...



Okay, I'll hear your complaints now.

No Fights (Or Fight) On Picture Day

You want the Mets to acknowledge their history? Then we should have had Keith Hernandez and Darryl Strawberry go at it on picture day. Not like they haven't done it before, right? It's the 20th anniversary, for heaven's sake! They could have worn big oversized boxing gloves or something, or they could have played Wii Resort or something.

Instead, we live in a kinder, gentler time where Keith is preparing for a broadcast with Ron Darling and without Gary Cohen. And the only consternation happening on picture day these days is Jose Reyes complaining about people who think he's dogging it in his rehab. You know, they don't make photo day controversies like they did twenty years ago.

They also don't make first basemen like they did 20 years ago. With Keith in the broadcast booth, it was up to Daniel Murphy to man the area. He didn't fight anybody, but he also didn't catch David Wright's questionable throw to complete a double play and end the first inning. Instead, a 1-0 deficit turned into a 4-0 hole as Cody Ross hit a three run jack to make Wright, Murphy, and Pat Misch all pay for their individual indiscretions.

And since then, the baseball was kinda flat as the Mets slept through a 6-3 loss to the Marlins, which probably caused more indigestion than the free hot dogs that the Mets gave out on Wednesday. Bobby Ojeda wondered after the game why the Mets weren't motivated to beat the Marlins who knocked them out of the playoffs the last two seasons? The answer is probably the same as the one to the question "Why weren't the Mets motivated to beat the Marlins and keep them from knocking the Mets out of the playoffs?" That answer being, "How the &%$# do I know?" Hell, if I knew that I'd be the GM of this nonsense. Yeah, some of the players have returned from those last two collapses, but a lot of the players weren't even around for '07 and '08. If the players that were around aren't going to be that motivated, how can we expect Elmer Dessens to be motivated?

Funny thing is, Dessens has been the fantastic one this series, saving a run on a botched throw home by backing up the plate, and he pitched two scoreless innings. Maybe he is the motivated one.

(Editor's note: Keith and Ron minus Gary was very good tonight. I'm kinda diggin' these new combinations they're trying out while they continue to give us reasons to hold our interest. Keith and Ron without Gary is like having peanut butter and jelly without the bread. You can eat peanut butter and jelly with your fingers, and it will still taste very good. The bread holds the two together and makes the eating experience not only tasty, but neat. But I kinda like eating with my fingers too.)

Maybe they'll try some new things in the booth going forward this season. They've tried all their existing combinations. Perhaps next they can have me team with Gary Cohen for a broadcast ... Oh, sorry. The object is to hold their interest, not drive them away. If me talking about the Mets seems like a good idea to you, then you should seek help. But also, come to Amazin Tuesday at Two Boots Tavern this coming Tuesday where I'll be part of a star studded panel which will include accomplished authors such as Jon Springer, Greg Prince, and Jeff Pearlman. They'll probably perform readings from their critically acclaimed books. I'll be holding up photoshopped images of Mike Pelfrey as a Peanuts character. Yeah, I'm bringing a lot to the table. But come anyway, because despite my appearance, this event is going to rock the house. And the pizza will be tasty.

(By the way, did you realize that going into Wednesday, which was 09-09-09, that the Mets "tragic number" of losses and Phillies wins which would total elimination was nine? Yeah, very funny, baseball gods.)

Get Up

Well this becomes an ironic picture, doesn't it?

Here's why Carlos Beltran returning for meaningless games in September makes a difference: Sure, the Mets aren't going anywhere. Sure, Beltran could get hurt again. And I could walk out of my apartment and get hit by a truck (although getting hit by a truck in a hallway would be a feat). But look at all the players who are out for the season ... Delgado, Putz, Reyes, Sheffield, Perez, Niese, Santana, Cora ... and the list goes on. With this many players not being able to see action until Spring Training 2010 (which is really an extension of Spring Training 2009, which is still going on), every player that can remove a question mark from their own psyche should be able to do so. Because if you give credence to the theory that this is a mentally fragile team, any stabilization of that is more than welcome.

And if Beltran were to get hurt before this season is done, well then it probably would have happened anyway. Better it happen now and the Mets can go into next season with that on the checklist than it happen in April of '10 and another season goes down the tubes.

So it was good to see Beltran back, if for that only. But Beltran being back also brought back a small thing that's been missing in my life. You see, I have a little vocal tick whenever a Met hits a high fly ball. It's a quick little "get up". I used to yell "get out", but multiple people took it the wrong way, so "get out" turned to "get up." And I realized when Beltran was up with the sacks full in the seventh that I can't remember the last time I yelled "get up". I never even realized that I don't even yell "get up" anymore. I mean sure, the Mets have hit a few home runs but not many ... and not in any situations that would call for a primal yell. Then Beltran hit one near the wall ...

"GET UP!!!"

Nope, didn't work. But it was nice to get a whiff of June in a dreary September. And that's why Carlos Beltran makes a difference.

***

Tuesday showed why the SNY announce team of Gary, Keith, and Ron, are the best in the business. When the ten-year-old announcer wasn't bringing out the best in them (not to mention the kid was pretty good too. He even has the sarcasm thing down: "The Mets finally get a hit". I like him already), they were talking about Keith's fondness for manicures landing him a reality show on Bravo.

And yet ... and forgive me for sounding a touch blasphemous, a part of me enjoyed the "silent sixth", where there were no announcers in the booth. For someone like me who doesn't get to go to as many games as he used to, it was nice to feel like I was there. Even the loon who screamed "Leeeeeeeeeeeeet's goooooooooooooooo Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar-liiiiiiiiiiiiiiins" amused me. A little bit of the experience of being in the ballgame never hurts. I only wish that I knew about this sooner ... I would have had a non-working escalator installed in the house so I could really feel like I was in the park.

(Editor's note: no truth to the rumor that the announcers weren't in the booth for an inning because they were all in for major surgery.)

And now tomorrow is going to be just Keith and Ron in the booth? Something tells me that the game they did alone in the spring is going to be a mere warm-up to the lunacy you'll see and hear tomorrow. Get your Tootsie Pops ready ... and watch what happens.

***

And P.S., sometime after the game I make my weekly appearance on SportsTalkNY Live to talk Mets (the entire show is between 9:00-11:00) ... but this isn't going to be just any appearance. No, this will be an appearance where I will make a special announcement (pig latin for "plugging a personal appearance"), so be sure not to miss it.

Skeptic Tank

Experts say that you should be careful about what you see in players in April and in September. With the Mets season pretty much over, this is going to be the longest September in a long time. So it's okay to be skeptical about Cory Sullivan.

Two triples on Wednesday and some good looking defensive plays lately is like an oasis for this team, this time. But can you really believe what you see? After all, if you look at the new fangled way people are looking at defense these days, Cory Sullivan has UZR ratings that are negative ... as in less than zero. Last season alone, his UZR/150 rating was -58.5, and -111.9 in center field alone. Now I can't explain how one comes up with a UZR rating, but a numbers that low would basically make someone less useful in the field than Timmy Lupus. How do you get up in the morning at -111.9?

Those ratings are better this season, but still negative. I'm guessing this means that all these diving, running, sliding catches he's making ... Carlos Beltran would be camped under those balls for a couple of seconds.

But Sullivan is indeed making these catches, which is more than you could say for, say, Angel Pagan on Doug Davis' single (sidebar question for Snoop: How do you bench Pagan for making a dopey decision, but not Luis Castillo for making a lazy throw?) And besides, another way to evaluate a player is how they perform when the team they play on has been playing meaningless games since early June. Sullivan is a bright spot. To Snoop's discredit, there aren't many of those.

Now, let's hope that Sullivan doesn't go into next April undervalued ... or overvalued.

***

My bad:

"I don't know how David Wright has made it through the season healthy" -Metstradamus, multiple times over the past week.

I knew saying that was a bad idea every time the words came out of my mouth.

***

But hey, there are reasons to cheer up. First off, the Mets are wearing throwback uniforms this weekend that don't involve the Dodgers! Of course, they don't really throw back to anything the Mets have ever worn, but the fact that they're honoring the Giants and not the Dodgers is a small step in the right direction.

And hey, you might be able to see this weekend's games on the cheap, thanks to the Mets! Yeah, they're slashing ticket prices! The New York Mets: the Crazy Eddie of Major League Baseball. Awesome.

***

More cheer: You know it's rare that interesting things happen to two members of the Metstradamus Hall of Hate that end up on You Tube, but for those who haven't seen them, here's part one of the snicker parade, courtesy of NY Baseball Digest and Baseball Think Factory:



I'll never listen to his opening theme song the same way again ... "He'll get you the sports any way that he can." HA! He's getting a lot of flack for this on the web, but his pompousness has brought it on himself.

Shane Victorino, on the other hand, didn't bring this on himself. At least I don't think so:



Now, that's a very bad thing to do ... spill beer on a player. We don't condone that here on this website, even if Victorino is in the Hall of Hate by a landslide vote, and even if he is the devil. You still shouldn't spill beer on him.

(I did chuckle when it happened. I know, I'm going to hell ... oh what am I saying. Have you seen the standings? And have you seen that Pedro Martinez pitched five effective innings for the Phillies? I'm IN hell!!!)

My favorite part is the Phillies fan throwing peanuts at the Cubs fan after the beer was thrown. And the whole row got thrown out to boot.

Now remember for all you kids out there, this is not acceptable behavior. And if you enjoyed the previous video, you need penance. Donate to your favorite charity. Or, donate to Gary, Keith, and Ron's favorite charities by buying t-shirts and stuff. And if you use the code "blogger" before August 15th, then you can take 15% off of everything ... including tickets for the final game of the season where you can attend the end of season Gary, Keith and Ron event.

Remember, use the code "blogger" for discounts. If you use the code "Metstradamus", a video of Keith laughing at you will pop up on the screen. So just type "blogger".

Utilitarian

There's something that's been brewing a little bit in my brain lately (no, not beer). It took Monday's 7-4 loss to illustrate my point for me.

Sure, one could call Monday night's effort unacceptable (and I believe one did), but I think there is something else at play here.

As told by either Gary Cohen and Ron Darling, Snoop Manuel was asked about Anderson Hernandez and Snoop said that he wants to see what Hernandez can do at other positions. This has been a line of thinking that you saw in the minor league system, where players like Daniel Murphy and Nick Evans were made to play multiple positions. It tells me all I need to know about the Mets general idea of "player development":

We're grooming an entire organization of utility players.

Doesn't that seem a little dangerous to you?

Look, utility players are wonderful. It's nice to have a Bert Campaneris circa 1965 on your roster, or a Kevin Mitchell circa 1986. But to have a whole minor league system of utility players ... players worrying about learning three or four positions? No wonder they're all messed up in the head and need mental vacations. Heck, even David Wright needs a mental break and he's just playing third. No wonder it doesn't occur to Fernando Tatis that Trent Oeltjen might be taking second base on a hit to left. No wonder Murphy was on his way to the Bahamas on a bouncer over the pitcher's head so that Hernandez can throw the ball to an imaginary first baseman on a double play attempt.

There's a reason that the saying goes: "jack of all trades, master of none" ... least of all hitting. Nobody is mastering that, probably because everyone's busy learning how to be Bert Campaneris. Nobody gets less out of less than the Mets.

But that's looking at too big a picture. Obviously this team is done ... mentally, and physically. Even Gary Cohen is counting down the games ("just 50 more games, Ron.") You know there's trouble when Cohen, who loves baseball enough to sit in the stands and watch a game on his off day, is counting down the games. Heck the whole announcing team has resorted to schtick long ago when they started sword fighting and giving Ron Darling haircuts in the booth (and can we be sure that when Gary shot a t-shirt out of that gun that he didn't hit Frankie Rodriguez in the arm?) So can we really be surprised that it's come to this?

You'd be counting down the days too if you saw Doug Davis, having just been described as a "notoriously bad hitter", smack a single to center which Angel Pagan turned into a double (how come extra bases are only taken when Angel's in the field?) I'm guessing that giving up a hit to a notoriously bad hitter isn't quite the late night feeding that Mike Pelfrey had in mind.

Pelfrey, by the way, is playing third tomorrow for Wright. Because the Mets need more versatility.

Gangsta Roulette

Did you have the same feeling I did when you saw the starting lineup today? Did you have the feeling that a lineup with Wilson Valdez, Angel Pagan, and Ramon Martinez vs. Josh Johnson combined with Tim Redding on the hill basically meant that your Saturday of baseball was going to be a complete waste of time? Well guess what? It was.

It's not like the regular lineup ever does anything against Johnson anyway, and players need their rest, so why the heck not? I was more disturbed at the revelation that Snoop Manuel is going to rest Gary Sheffield twice a week to keep him fresh. This means that if you Mapquest the route to the end of the 2009 season, it will inevitably take a left on Moises Alou Ave.

I was also disturbed by the image of David Wright getting ready to pinch hit in the ninth by licking his bat. Besides the fact that it's a disgusting image, I don't want to root for the first franchise in baseball history to put a player on the disabled list with tongue splinters (it will probably be listed as "fragments in the mouth muscle".)

But what I'll take away from this game was Ron Darling glowing about how special this Omir Santos run has been by saying that in five years, you're going to be wondering what the name of that guy was that had the quick start and hit the home run off Papelbon and was on fire for two months. What Darling is saying is that this run which sent Fluff Castro out of town is magical ... and that Santos will be managing a KFC franchise in five years.

More Cortisone For Everyone

Ron Darling said tonight that with cortisone, you feel a numbness for about two days.

After getting swept by a Mannyless Dodger team, I think we can all use a little of that action.

How about more for J.J. Putz who, even though the first round of cortisone gave him his zip back, still can't get him a hold when it was sorely needed.

Or maybe more for Jose Reyes, who left the game after aggravating his calf injury. Now who knows how long he'll be out.

Or some for the new shortstop, Ramon Martinez ... because he couldn't do any worse playing while numb.

The one good thing to come out of Wednesday night's broom job was Daniel Murphy's initial first base foray, in which he looked more Keith than Kingman with a couple of sparklers in the field. Makes you wonder what took the braintrust so long to figure this one out. Now all Murph needs to do is start hitting like Keith and ...

and the Mets will still need a shortstop.

But at least the Mets and their fans will get one thing they need tomorrow: a day off.

***

Lisa from Subway Squawkers was kind enough to bring me more insanity from Steve Phillips as he tries to defend his stance on Carlos Beltran:

"While Beltran does have talent, I just don't see him as a winning player. Even after my comments on Sunday night, Beltran let a fly ball drop in between himself and Angel Pagan in the Dodger game."

Why let the fact that Pagan didn't have the good sense to get out of the way of the center fielder calling him off six times get in the way of validating Phillips' point, right?

"I see him putting up numbers but not making plays to win games. I would take Torii Hunter, Grady Sizemore, Curtis Granderson, and Nate McLouth over Beltran, and use the financial difference to improve the team in other ways. Beltran isn't a $17 million dollar a year player. He just doesn't have the kind of impact for that kind of money."

He's right, Carlos Beltran isn't a $17 million a year player. He's an $18.5 million a year player. Torii Hunter, so you know, is an $18 million a year player, with one more season on his contract than Beltran. Congratulations Steve, you saved -$16,500,000 on that one. Ponzi schemes have more financial security.

"Many people think that Alex Rodriguez is the best player in the game, but he's never won anything. I look at Beltran in a similar fashion as Rodriguez--a great talent that just doesn't seem to have what it takes to win championships. Maybe the Mets can keep him and add pieces to the core around him and still win. But when you're dealing with a budget and the screams of immediacy in New York, I'm not sure the Mets can wait to piece it together around him."

Why not? The Mets waited to piece it together around Tsuyoshi Shinjo? Yes! Let's get Shinjo back! S-H-IN-J-O and Shinjo was his NAME-O!!!!! YES!!!!!! SHINJO MAKES PLAYS TO WIN GAMES!!!!!!

Oh, and so does Steve Reed. Remember him?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put on my sunglasses, as the trophies from all those championships that Hunter, Sizemore, Granderson, and McLouth have won are starting to blind me.

***

On a serious, sad note, many condolences to Scott Schoeneweis and his family. Keep them in your prayers tonight.

It's A Major Award

Yes, I won a major award. But more on that later.

First off, it's time to bring some good feeling back to this blog. Too much negativity. Probably my fault. All right, I'll make it up to you:

With the holidays coming up, the most positive thing that you can do is to give to your favorite charity ... or perhaps, give to the favorite charity of your favorite announcers. So go get a t-shirt from Gary, Keith and Ron's website. And how about this: Enter the super secret code before November 28th, and get 10% off. Sounds good? Don't say I don't do anything for you.

Well actually, I still haven't done anything for you ... especially since I never gave you the secret code.

(Psst: BLOGGER ... pass it on.)

***

Oh, here's Part II of the Gabrielle Schoeneweis interview. Part III coming soon.

***

Oh, about that major award, I was recently presented with this:

It means I write well, I guess. But all appreciation to the presenter of this award to me. It was unexpected, and I'm not sure I deserve it. But it's appreciated much the same. Thanks!

The good news is that I get to pass it on to five more deserving blogs. The bad news is that I could only choose five. So don't scream at me for not choosing you or this newfound blog positivity is going to end quick. If I could give out awards to everyone, I would. Because I love you all ... seriously.

Here goes:

1. Faith and Fear in Flushing: Because they constantly come up with things that I wish I came up with.
2. Toasted Joe: Because he won't rest until Aaron Heilman is pitching for a club team in Siberia.
3. Mets Walkoffs: Because the minutiae never stops.
4. A tie: Nice Level Swing, My Summer Family, Archie Bunker's Army, and Brooklyn Met Fan: Because I'm incapable of making a decision. Deal with it.
5. Jer's Steak House: Because I need to show a little versatility in my life. That and this guy is just plain smarter than me by like three miles. Probably smarter than you too. Just accept it.

You've been officially awarded. Now pass the love along to five of your favorites (or eight or nine if you can't make a decision like me). And oh yeah ... link to me, and link to the Scholastic Scribble guys. Those are the rules. If you don't follow the rules, the mogwai becomes a gremlin ... or something like that.

And buy a t-shirt.

Put A Jersey On

Ooh, Jose Reyes raised a finger too long. Quick, get Goose Gossage on the phone so he can weigh in with his expert Hall of Fame opinion!

Here's why I'm a soothsayer: I knew this was coming. Knew it. Of course, anytime Jose Reyes does something uniquely celebratory he gets called on the carpet for it (Chris Russo once chastised him for clapping at his mom's birthday party), so it wasn't that hard to figure out. Little did I know that when I thought someone would bring it, it had already been brought.

Here's why I'm not going to get too crazy over this latest hypocrisy of Larry Andersen wanting to put one in Jose Reyes' neck, while Shane Victorino can run around being baseball's Theo Fleury with no criticism: Larry Andersen is a homer. All these baseball announcers are homers to some degree. Even Keith Hernandez slips once in a while and says "we" when he means "they", while Gary Cohen lets his Yankee disgust subtly seep through every once in a blue moon. But trust me on this, it gets worse when you get away from New York and move towards, say, Chicago. Try sitting through a White Sox game one day. I dare you.

Of course, Larry Andersen is going to say something stupid like that, while the trio of Gary, Keith and Ron are focusing more on the play than they are focusing on Theo Victorino standing on the plate and clapping at the Mets dugout. It's just the way it is. Of course, when supposedly neutral national pundits commit the same hypocrisy, that's when my blood boils. Because they're supposed to be above that garbage when they're obviously not. The bottom line is this: The deck is stacked against you and I. The Mets will always get fingers wagged at them while players wearing other uniforms will be celebrated doing the exact same thing. So I'm choosing another battle. It's pointless to fight because nobody listens to me anyway.

And about putting one in Reyes' neck? As I've said before: Don't sing it, bring it. You want to do something, do it. The Phillies had been doing a mighty fine job of pitching inside all series (although their targets ... Damion Easley and Johan Santana ... were interesting choices), and I wish the Mets would do more of that. Unfortunately, a guy like John Maine, who had chances to make Theo dance while Brett Myers was on the other side getting in everyone's kitchen, has proven time and again that he's not that kind of pitcher ... and it's a shame. With everyone taking shots at the Mets it's time somebody throw some haymakers back with no regard for the outcome.

And no, I'm not saying that the Mets should go out and "put one in someone's neck", but there are instances where throwing inside is appropriate. Hell, even if it's not appropriate, why the hell are the Mets worried about winning hearts and minds around the country? It's not happening. We're the bad guys. That's never going to change. Maybe it's time to start acting more the part.

And if Larry Andersen, a guy who hit 17 batters in 17 years in the majors, wants someone to put one in Reyes' neck, then maybe he, or whichever other Phillies announcer wants to be brave, should take Warren Sapp's advice, put a jersey on, and do it himself. I'm sure if Andersen ever had a fastball that could break a pane of glass or cut through a wind gust without being blown away like a kite, he'd try.

Where Have You Gone, Chip Ambres?

This started out as one of those games where there was enough goofy stuff happening that it was going to be one of those Chip Ambres games where someone was going to be a late hero for one of those 9-8 contests.

Instead, the Mets never got to that point because they can't hit Hong-Chih Kuo. Let's review for a second: Hong-Chih Kuo, lifetime, was 3-11 with an ERA of close to 5 going in. Any guesses as to who two of those three career wins came against?

That's correct: your New York Mets.

Of course, it wouldn't have mattered if the Mets would have capitalized on some of their opportunities in the early innings ... like when they had a 3-0 lead and Ryan Church up with the bases loaded and nobody out in the second, and Church then hits into a double play and all bets are off. I think by the time Moises Alou stole home in the third on a double steal, the Mets had already stranded something like 35 runners in scoring position.

But Kuo coming in and looking like Carl Hubbell is just freakin' mind boggling. Mind boggling! And worse, it gave me the clarity to notice more things that I can complain about:

• Maybe all the Dodger nostalgia during the broadcasts are a coincidence. But in this world of heightened conspiracy alerts, it's a darn tootin' coincidence that all of these vignettes crop up considering that the president of the Brooklyn Dodgers secret society owns the team. I mean, the opening game of the series is one thing. But the nostalgia was in full force tonight too. The Giants are the only N.L. team with more hall of famers than the Dodgers. Any chance we'll get some Candlestick Park memories when the Mets go up north later in the year?
• I love Ron Darling. But stop with these damn Sovereign Bank commercials after every inning! The trees look like they're on fire and it's freaking me out!
• Is it me, or did David Wright look exhausted when there were two outs and nobody on when the camera cut to him in the dugout? Was it all those sparkling plays in the field he made (sandwiched between the throw he made that landed somewhere in El Segundo) that made him tired? Or was it hopelessness? And if it was hopelessness, how did the rest of the dugout look?
• I love Luis Castillo. Not like I love Ron Darling, but I'm a fan. And I'm pleased as punch he got his first hit in 85 at bats tonight. But a lollipop slider to end the game? Really, Luis? You know, protecting the plate is more than just for dinner, Luis.

But more than all of that, Hong-Chih Kuo just ticks me off. Three wins now out of four career coming against the Mets. More proof that this is how the season is going to go: Just good enough to keep us hopeful (two wins against Arizona), just bad enough to drive us nuts (Hong-Chih Kuo.)

It occurs to me that I've been going about this Aaron Heilman thing all wrong. Instead of complaining about him at every turn, I'm going to start my "Aaron Heilman Initiative". Meaning: When Heilman comes into a game, instead of watching the game and having complaints at the ready, I'm going to perform a good deed. So even when Heilman has a bad outing, some good will have come of it. For example, when Heilman entered the game tonight, I washed the dishes. So if Heilman had spit the bit, at least some good will have come of it. If everyone took part in the "Aaron Heilman Initiative", think of the good we can do as a society! One person does dishes. One person helps an old lady across the street. One person donates ten dollars to North Shore Animal League. We can actually turn society around instead of just sitting around complaining. And if Heilman has a good outing as he did tonight (two scoreless innings ... and in a close game no less), then everyone wins!

He Called Keith A Bum

The fan that took his anger out on Keith Hernandez tonight (you know, the one that Keith pointed out via SNY's cameras and basically made him a star) and called him a bum had some misguided anger issues.

He should have been facing the field when he made that comment.

Many things went wrong for the Mets tonight, not the least of which was Oliver Perez, who was hit hard and knocked around in Tuesday night's 7-3 shellacking by the Braves. Certainly not a good way to start this huge series. But here's a question: Does it worry you in the least that Perez has had his velocity drop 3-4 miles an hour as the announcers pointed out tonight? Eh tu, dead arm?

I don't know what on Moises Alou is dead. He's certainly been killed lately...whether it be in the outfield miscommunicating with and crashing into Lastings Milledge, or banging into outfield walls. But I don't appreciate that Alou returns the favor by killing Mets rallies...first in the fourth inning grounding into a double play with runners on first and third, scoring a run but wiping the bases clean in front of Shawn Green's single which Alou rendered harmless, and then again in the sixth with Carlos Delgado on first base, killing a rally which would have blossomed after David Newhan sparked a two run fifth inning rally with a triple. When a David Newhan RBI gets wasted, and he has...like...five all year (that was just a guess, but when I checked that total to be accurate, lo and behold he actually has five RBI's this year), you're not doing your job. And Moises Alou didn't get the job done on this night.

But whether they're hurt or not, they get no sympathy from me because not only of the magnitude of Tuesday's game, but because the worst part about this is that you know that the Met bashers (Chris Russo and the like) are going to have a field day on Wednesday "Oh, the Mets can't beat the Braves, they stink". Just another reason to put "Air Bud" in your DVD player instead of watching the YES Network during afternoon drive time.

But if you didn't see the game, if you just heard about it somewhere and read the score, you missed this classic exchange between our announcers:

Keith: "I don't drink anymore."

Ron: "You mean during the broadcasts, right?"

Of course, when the announcers providing commentary on their alcohol intake and pointing out heckling fans provide the largest smiles of the night, that's a problem.

***

Congratulations are in order for Barry Bonds' record breaking home run. Not necessarily for Bonds, but for the guy who caught the historic ball who, among a sea of Giants supporters who have been waiting for a chance to not only see the big home run, but catch it and make some money, came down with it. He deserves a lot of credit for his accomplishment.

He deserves a lot more credit because that fan was wearing a METS JERSEY!!! (And a Mets t-shirt underneath. Great job making sure the Mets were a part of two milestones this week.) Great job, Matt Murphy...who by the way is from Queens, NY! Queens! Giants fans invested their whole lives in following Barry Bonds' career, and the guy who catches the money ball is a Mets fan from Queens! He was on his way to Australia, he buys a ticket to this game on the way down, and the money he will probably get for selling that ball just paid for his trip.