It's Hard To Find Good Tutors

Chris Coste's Met career ... a photo essay:

Have Cream Will Travel

"If we have to go with (Omir), we will." -Snoop Manuel

And with that, you knew the deed wasn't far away. That one line was the equivalent of the mob boss kissing you on both cheeks, telling you your days were numbered. The Mets' signing of Rod Barajas took forever, but the fate of Omir Santos was quickly sealed with a virtual two to the back of the head.

It happens that quick. It wasn't even nine months ago that Santos was participating in the two high points of the 2009 season, one of them against some guy named Papelbon. His clutch hits leapfrogged him over both Brian Schneider and Fluff Castro to the point that an afternoon game had to be delayed for like four hours so that Santos could pinch hit for Fluff ... only to pop out with the bases loaded. But a couple of well timed hits later sent Fluff to Chicago to catch a perfect game, Omir in the sweetheart suite, and Schneider to the doghouse (and eventually to Philadelphia).

And now, perhaps in no small part to some starters subtly begging for another catcher to work with, Omir is a man without a home. Where exactly is he going to go? He isn't going to be the backup, that's Hank White's job now. Buffalo? Sorry, Josh Thole needs to play. And Chris Coste needs to be that positive influence as Thole's backup. So where will Omir go? Can the Mets really get anybody of value for a guy who gets on base less than three out of every ten and has a 1.000 career average against Jonathan Papelbon?

No Catcher Left Behind

"Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy." -John Denver

Well it's no wonder that the Mets are making crazy predictions about World Series and what not. All this sun is making them giddy. And who could blame them after all the snow we've had here lately, and all the rotten they've had for three years.

World Series predictions? Hell, why not. Why not be excited for a day? We have the whole summer to chastise the Mets for their mouths writing checks that their OPS can't cash. We all like to talk about "hope springs eternal" and all of the lovely prose that goes with the first official day of spring training (which when you really think about it, is a date that holds less and less significance every year with the truckloads of players that report early every year, not to mention the extended spring training that was July through September last season), so why not throw some wacky predictions around for a day? That's what the official first day of spring training is for. Optimism

After that, of course, all bets are off. Especially when all of the progress made over the next month and a half are in the abstract. The season is full of wins and losses. The off-season can be easily measured in statistics, dollars, and happy-to-be-heres. Spring training? Lots of stretching. Lots of games scouted by Buffalo. Real indications of how the season is going to play out? Not from John Maine pitching against Broward County Community College (nice one, Brad). No, no real clues unless Ryan Church comes to recreate his carom off Marlon Anderson, or Omar Minaya signs five more catchers to complete his controversial gene splicing experiment to see if he can create Joe Mauer from the DNA of Josh Thole, Rod Barajas, Chris Coste, Gary Carter, Manny Sanguillen, Jack Clements, three sheep and a turkey club sandwich. Then we'll all have a clue as to whether we're doomed to misery or not.

Until then, we can dream ... at least until Kelvim Escobar goes for that inevitable MRI.

What Have You Learned? Brian Schneider

What Have You Learned is our very special off-season series that will outline what you've learned, what I've learned, and hopefully what the 2009 Mets have learned about themselves, others, and 2010. Today, we look at Brian Schnieder, and most likely jinx his very existence.

I pretty much knew it was a lost cause when I led off my "Behind the Blow" series by writing about Scott Schoeneweis. There was a part of me hoping that Schoeneweis would make a return trip to Shea in '09 as I wrote that on October 1st of '08. By December 12th, Schoeneweis was gone, for some guy named Connor Robertson.

Now, as I write to you about Brian Schneider, I'm also hoping against hope that Schneider comes back even though you, your family, your friends, Omar Minaya, Omar Minaya's friends, and for some reason Avril Lavigne (?) are hoping for Schneider to be gone. I don't blame you. But considering the options out there, Brian Schneider doesn't look so bad.

Now there's going to have to be an offensive upgrade at a few other positions to make this palpable. You could have upgraded this position in one fell swoop by trading for Victor Martinez. But that ship has sailed and is currently docked in the Charles river. So who's left? Rod Barajas? He had 19 HR's last year but also batted .220. Bengie Molina? At the age where catchers start that inevitable descent off the cliff? Yorvit Torrealba?

Oh, silly me.

Then you look at the internal options. Josh Thole is a catcher who needs some work on catching the ball. Three passed balls and one error in 16 games tells me he needs to expand the zone ... his comfort zone. He's going to be a fine hitter, but only if he gets a little more time in the minors to refine his stroke and be completely ready to go when he gets back to the show, rather than become 2010's version of Daniel Murphy.

And Omir Santos? He's going to live off that Papelbon home run for a long time ... it's probably gotten him further than he deserves, and he'll live off that for at least a few more months going into next season. But look at his numbers. They tell me that the offensive upgrade from Schneider to Santos isn't worth what you lose in defense and in calling a game. If the upgrade was from Schneider to Victor Martinez? No brainer.

It would have taken management having a set to make a trade for Martinez while being far out. But that didn't happen. The options that exist now don't excite me enough to stick with what we have ... which is an inexperienced Thole and a journeyman in Omir Santos. As with Murphy, it would take some major upgrades at other positions to make keeping Schneider palatable. This team needs major upgrades at other positions anyway, so why not consider Schneider's return as a way to help the pitching staff a little bit ... or at the very least give Mike Pelfrey a personal catcher that can actually make a difference (not like giving Paul Bako any credit for being Greg Maddux's caddy)?

Well ... here's why not: Because you can't bring back Brian Schneider and Daniel Murphy. And if the choice is a semi-decent prospect and a journeyman catcher, you bring back the guy with the higher ceiling, and that's Murphy. If you bring in a left fielder, a first baseman, and maybe even a second baseman like Dan Uggla, then there's a chance for Schneider to come back. And maybe you have to use Murphy as a trade chip to make that happen. That said, you can also make a good case to bring Murphy back (which I will attempt in the near future), just as you can make a case for Schneider to come back (which is more a concern about the lack of catching options out there). But you can't bring both back ... there's no good case for that.

Now that I've written a piece that's somewhat pro-Schneider, expect to hear tomorrow that Schneider's been released so that he can sign with Telemarket Rimini.

You Can't Turn Away

It was the first game of the rest of our 2009 lives.

It would have been easy to turn away, to not care. And I had the perfect excuse, being at Two Boots Tavern for pizza, beer, and lotsa fun courtesy of Messrs Prince, Springer and Pearlman. I spoke at the end ... and regardless, everyone had a good time.

And yet, the lure of Mets vs. Braves was too much to resist at certain points, even with pizza and beer surrounding all of us, and the fact it meant less than nothing from a wins and losses standpoint, yet more than everything to, say, Josh Thole. With Tommy Hanson on the mound, we had to make sure that the Mets weren't going to be no-hit ... a possibility with the way Hanson has been pitching lately, and more of a possibility considering the way the Mets had been hitting lately. The answer to the eternal question: "What else can go wrong this season?" A no-hitter is the last answer left. So at certain points, everyone was still glued to their television screens. Thanks in large part to Daniel Murphy's two hits (and Thole's one), the almost inevitable was staved off for another day, and all we had to endure on the big screens was another ho-hum loss at the hands of Hanson and Adam LaRoche.

And that brings me to my tip of the day: When you're in public, whatever you do, don't even hint about making a joke at Daniel Murphy's expense. Just take the Volvo and drive the other way ... because people love themselves some Daniel Murphy and will fight to the death for him. Coincidentally, this lesson comes after a long discussion on a certain WFAN drive time show about the fascination that Mets fans have for Murphy, which must have put everyone on edge. All I did was mention the notebook after his second hit and people wanted to throw pepperoni at me. Stupid move on my part. (Mental note: stick to Bobby Bonilla jokes.)

The good news: The Mets now have 17 games left in 2009. And I can pretty much guarantee they're not blowing a damn thing.

***

Meanwhile, 2010: Road to Hell has been released (alternate title: next season's schedule). Get ready to buy your tickets as if you were buying airline tickets, except the food's better.

Role Reversal

I've been on that other side, Rockies fans. Really ... I have. Because last season Jason Marquis was the fifth starter playing for the team that had nothing to play for, and he hit a grand slam and helped put a nail in the Mets coffin.

Now, Jason Marquis is the ace. And he's playing for the team that actually has something to play for. I wonder how much Rockie fans will rue the day they lost to fifth starter Pat Misch (who am I kidding, we have five fifth starters.) While Misch didn't hit a grand slam, he did shut down the Colorado lineup well enough for his first major league win in his 55th major league game. David Wright's three RBI without the space helmet didn't hurt either.

I wish we could really get a gauge as to how this latest embarrassment of pitching riches is going to affect the Mets thinking in terms of the rotation for next season. Has Misch or even Tim Redding proven enough to be considered for employment in 2010? I hope that nobody is fooled into thinking that bringing these guys back and giving them starting slots is an acceptable way to save money next year. But Misch is young enough, shown enough, and has just enough upside (not Scott Kazmir upside, but y'know ... Jason Marquis upside) to be considered to have some sort of role next season. But everybody needs to be a little careful.

But who knows. Heck, Misch may have to be the number two starter at some point next season. Why? Because one day, Mike Pelfrey's going to go for another run in the parking lot after a bad start and not come back ... ever!

And when Pelfrey was running around the parking lot, he passed by Kris and Anna Benson having "relations".

Speaking of 2010, we also saw Josh Thole today catch his first major league game and get a couple of hits in the process. Here's hoping, within reason because he's a catcher, that he gets enough playing time to get his feet truly wet at the major league level. And conversely that the Mets don't fall under the trap of giving Brian Schneider the bulk of the playing time because the Mets want to sell tickets.

Although they may need to sell extra tickets to help Jerry Koosman get out of debt with the IRS. Boy, not even the 1969 team gets through this season unscathed. Tax evasion? What's next, Tom Seaver gets two years for smuggling wine to Italy?

Itemized

The lords of baseball saw an opportunity to throw some high hard ones by me while I've been away. To that I say, ha! You're going to have to do a lot better than this to get one by me. Besides, I have a team of experts not only finding these stories for me, they read them to me, they explain them to me, they spell out some of the words phonetically to me, and they diffuse bombs in their spare time.

So without further ado, I give you: "The things you've missed while I've been away."

Or is that, "The things I've missed while you've been away?"

Maybe it's "The things that we've all missed while David Wright's been away" ...

Oh, the hell with it, here's some stuff to read:

Item: Scott Kazmir traded to the Angels for two players not named Victor Zambrano.

First person that says "see, told you so" gets a beating. Kazmir for Zambrano: Still the worst trade ever. Anybody who wants me to rehash why it's worse than Ryan for Fregosi is more than welcome to ask.

Here's the funny thing, the Rays trading Kazmir for prospects is a "future" trade. The Mets trading Kazmir for Zambrano was a "now" trade. (Actually, it was a "never" trade.) The Rays are closer to first place "now" than the Mets were "then". Meanwhile, I can't be sure ... but I think Victor rang me up at Old Navy the other day.

Item: Billy Wagner finally gets into a game for Boston, and strikes out three in his inning of work.

Hooray for Country Time. And even though Brian Cashman was probably only doing his due dilligence for claiming Chris Carter on waivers from the Red Sox, and even though keeping Carter from joining the Mets this season in the Wagner trade is probably akin to doing him a favor and keeping him from getting injured ... screw you Cashman. Your team has the best team in baseball and you still have to cause unnecessary problems. We have enough necessary problems, for crissakes.

Surprisingly, it took until Sunday for Billy to get into a game. Apparently, Terry Francona is only allowed to pitch him if he doesn't throw a bullpen session, throw darts against Papelbon, or throw up earlier in the day. So I wasn't able to give you a video of "Enter Sandman" in Fenway Park from Friday. So instead I give you Jason Bay from Friday, for no other reason than to remind Steve Phillips that he traded him for Steve Reed.



Thanks for giving me that initial slice of hell that has been compounded over time.

Item: Catcher Josh Thole to be promoted, may only bat against righties.

Wait, this is the organization that rushes their prospects through the system ... so they could reach the majors and be coddled? Memo to Snoop: your major league catchers can't hit lefties (Santos: .234, Schneider: POINT ZERO ZERO ZERO). I know we're long past the point of managing to win (that point being 2008), but can we use our brains, if only a little bit? The next Joe Mauer could be here in September. Or, the next Joe Mauer could be in somebody else's organization. Or, the next Joe Mauer may be merely a twinkle in some groupie's eye right now. We'll never know for sure, because the Mets will continue to groom players of all shapes and sizes to be nothing more than glorified platoon/utility players, putting them in a box with no hope of breaking out and being more than what they are perceived to be.

Sounds a lot like life ... or at least life in Flushing.

Item: Jeff Kent honored in the Giants Wall of Fame (sent to the home office by Squawker Lisa).

Fans can visit the wall and wash the very motorcycle that Kent claimed to had been washing when he broke his wrist.

Item: Aaron Heilman pitches two innings of shutout baseball against the Mets on Saturday, only giving up one hit.

Seems that Heilman was claimed on waivers by a National League team on Thursday. If the Mets were that team, I'm burning down Citi Field. Immediately.

Triple play? Pshaw. Castillo Schmastillo. This ... is ... rock ... bottom.

Item: Jim Duquette blasts Mets for cancelling their fall instructional league.

Okay, scratch that. This is rock bottom.

And it brings it all full circle, doesn't it? We started with Kazmir, why not end with Duquette? When this is the man that is killing your organization for being cheap, what does that tell you? What does that tell you??? Jim Duquette is throwing tomatoes at you ... with more accuracy than Oliver Perez, at that!

"Now the rumors within the scouting circles are that they can't afford - which it roughly costs about 300 grand to staff and to invite and fly down all the players, to having meals throughout for about, it's like a 4 to 5 week program. It gives you a chance to extend the development of your young players, of your prospects. And they're not gonna have it. They have cancelled it for this fall. And to me, being a development guy, that's big news. If you're development oriented, it's not a good decision in my opinion."

Maybe that's why Thole is only batting against righties ... because they can't afford to develop his batting eye against lefties. Boy oh boy, nothing verifies the myth of a bad farm system like ... not developing your farm system. Thanks, Mr. Wilpon.

In a related story, the Mets have saved millions in salary by trading Danny Meyer to the Padres in exchange for Grimace, the Hamburglar, and a fictional character to be named later. Shake Shack will now serve delicious McDonald's cheeseburgers for the 2010 season.