King Cranky

Johan Santana losses are like twice the size of a normal loss. That's the burden that Santana carries on this team, much like the burden that Henrik Lundqvist perpetually carries for the New York Rangers. As a goalie for a team that is scoring challenged, chances are that if King Henrik isn't spectacular, the Rangers lose. Unfortunately there are too many nights where King Henrik is spectacular, but the Rangers still lose. Sunday's winner take all for the playoffs, unfortunately, was a prime example.

For Johan Santana, it might be worse. At lease Lundqvist can start 85% of his team's games and win 35 games a year. If Johan could win 35 games a year maybe Met fans wouldn't worry so much. But he can't. And now that he's suffered a strange loss against the Washington Nationals, we know that we aren't going to see him again until Friday or Saturday. And coming off a loss heading into a series against a playoff team on the road and throwing John Maine, Jon Niese, and Mike Pelfrey at the Rockies, Sunday's loss hurts more.

Santana wasn't spectacular on Sunday. The surprise wasn't that Johan gave up a long ball, the surprise was the road to that homer, which was a triple to Nyjer Morgan and two walks. Santana is prone to the long ball early in the season, but usually they're solo shots. Though I suppose that if Felix Hernandez can hit a grand slam off Santana then Josh Willingham certainly can.

But when Santana isn't spectacular, and certainly when he shorts out in the first inning, it had to deflate the team. On the one hand, it could be correct to say that Santana could have had one of those Lundqvist games today where he was spectacular and they still would have lost because the Mets couldn't get a good shot at Livan Hernandez. But is it? Could Johan's freaky first have deflated the Mets to the point where the entire lineup pressed at the plate against Livan's slow pitch softball stuff?

And that brings me to another point, if Snoop Manuel was right in saying that the team was "unprepared" to hit Livan Hernandez, a guy that most of this lineup played with last season, then that's on Snoop and his coaches. If, however, Bob Ojeda was correct on the postgame show in saying that the Mets were in fact prepared but were simply pressing too much against Livan, who was clearly taking advantage of that, then that begs the following question: What the hell game is Snoop watching???

The Rangers?

And for the lack of a segue that works, let me say this: If Willie Harris wants to flatter himself and think that Frankie Rodriguez plunked him in the ninth inning because he made a game saving catch on Saturday, then let him do so. But if he's going to bark at Frankie for a pitch that hit his arm in an area that was just off the inner half, then he deserves whatever he gets.

Yes, I'm crawling back into "Baseball needs to be more like it was in the 80's" mode, so pay close attention: If I'm Frankie, I go one step further than simply saying "f**k you" to Harris a couple of times, and put one right in Nyjer Morgan's back after that. Willie wants to bitch and moan? Give him something to bitch and moan about. Now, I know what you're going to say: "Oh Metstradamus that's extreme! Nyjer Morgan didn't do anything!" Or: "What if Morgan charges the mound and Frankie hurts his arm?" Or: "What if the Nats retaliate and David Wright gets hit in the head again?" Valid points. I'm not Frankie Rodriguez. I don't have to be concerned with my long term health put in the hands of doctors who will probably have their recommendations squashed by ownership. All of your responses are logical, and I'm not.

But screw it. I'm sick and tired of players like Willie Harris thinking that they have latitude to hang over the plate and then be big mouths when they get hit because they're on the right side of the scoreboard. I'm tired of the "he dominated you, get over it" mentality. There are idiots on either side of the scoreboard. And maybe if Willie Harris sees Morgan take a fastball in the middle of the number one on his back, maybe he isn't going to be so quick to open his mouth when the moment doesn't call for it like Brian Bruney did (that Jacobs home run, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy ... Maybe the mere sight of Bruney was the thing that sparked Frankie to react the way he did.) What's the worst that can happen? Teams hate the Mets? Like that isn't already the case. Or Frankie Rodriguez gets suspended for the next three games? So what? Like he's going to get a save chance in Colorado anyway at this rate.

And yet, I also tire of trying to convince people that the Mets need to return to some vigilante justice just once in their lives. It's a losing battle. Everyone is everyone's friend these days, and everybody just wants to run their mouths instead of charging the mound or sending a message like Bob Gibson used to do because nobody wants to be fined. It's the way of the world and I'll just have to be happy with Frankie throwing a couple of f-bombs instead of a beanball and go on my merry, cranky way.

Ocean's Five

Ya gotta love Snoop's optimism when talking about basically going into 2010 with the same rotation as 2009 (save for Fernando Nieve instead of Livan Hernandez):

"We might be fortunate enough to get away with this."

Notice it wasn't "I'd go to war with these guys" or, "We can do this with the players we got", or some similar positive jargon. But "fortunate enough to get away with this." If Danny Ocean had said that in the meeting room, Terry Benedict would have caught him and his gang in the basement of the Bellagio and there wouldn't have been two sequels. The End.

"Fortunate enough to get away with this." Not exactly the inspirational tone I need when deciding on how many tickets to buy this season. I don't know about you, but I smell slogan.

"The 2010 New York Mets ... Wha? We Might Get Lucky!"

Snoop also came up with a good one concering Kelvim Escobar, who had committed to the Mets' mini-camp and then never showed up:

Manuel said he had no qualms with the veteran pitcher's decision to skip the voluntary workouts.

"Johan [Santana], it was important for me to see him and Oliver Perez," Manuel said. "I really wanted to see those guys."

Oh sure, five innings in two seasons, I've seen plenty. Just, just leave that old VHS of the Blue Jays' highlight reel from 1997 on my desk, that'll do just fine.

"The 2010 New York Mets ... I Don't Actually See The Pitchers."

Old Habits Die Hard

"Yeah, let's replace Livan Hernandez with somebody older and less durable. Yeah! That'll work just fine!!! Now let's crack open those beers."

If you were a fly on the wall of the Mets war room, that might have been what you heard as the powers that be have discussed the possibility of John Smoltz being a Met. That's the John Smoltz who will be 43 in May (for perspective, that's two years and eight months older than Orel Hershiser was when he pitched for the Mets). That's also the same John Smoltz who pitched a total of 106 innings over the last two seasons due to injuries.

Not that I'm that crazy about anybody who's left in the free agent market (it's so bad that Joel Pineiro is looking like the Brooklyn Decker of starting pitchers right now), but the fact that the Mets are even thinking of bringing John Smoltz into the fold proves that this regime is never going to learn. Ever. Doesn't matter much if they sign him or not, they're thinking about it. That's reason enough for me to overreact ... because the pattern is starting again.

They make a good signing with Jason Bay, and now threaten to make five bad ones to back that up. Bengie Molina will be that first bad signing, and Smoltz might be right behind him on that list. (And Carlos Delgado might be third, but that's another blog for another time.) Because there's nothing like filling holes with old guys who are ripe to get injured and expose a farm system under siege. Sound like any particular season you might have lived through lately? You don't have to think too hard about this one.

It's a bad move whether he's the fifth starter or a bullpen option. It was one thing when they were backing up Frankie Rodriguez with J.J. Putz and Sean Green. Now it's John Smoltz and Kelvin Escobar? That's 111 innings in four seasons of baseball. Putz has the durability of Brett Favre next to these two.

And that's not even mentioning the fact that Tom Glavine is Smoltzie's golfing buddy which means there's a chance we could see Glavine show up at Citi Field with a Mets hat to support his buddy ... and looking all devastated as his friend gets torched by the Brewers for six runs in two and a third. (Oh, did I say devastated? I meant slightly disappointed.) I dare say this would induce more vomit than seeing Roger Clemens attend the Texas/Alabama game on Thursday. Glavine had better hope that he sits in one of those suites where the angry mobs can't get to him.

Predictability

So there was a Christmas gift under the tree after all!

Unfortunately, the thing ran once in two years ... and I think it needs a part no longer in stock.

The Christmas Eve signing of Kelvim Escobar is a perfect illustration of what ails the New York Mets. Look, I'm happy Escobar has found work. And despite what you might think I'm going to say (just to show you I'm not getting too predictable in my own age), I'm happy that Kelvim Escobar has found work with the New York Mets. His stuff and his talent makes him worth taking the chance, so my official word is that I like the signing.

But here is where, predictably, the Mets are going to get this wrong. Where most teams would give a guy who has pitched once in two major league seasons (plus one recent Venezuelan league stint) a minor league contract to try to make a team that is stocked with enough talent that if Escobar wouldn't make it, no harm no foul, the Mets no doubt will see him have a couple of halfway decent outings in spring training and say "Hey, let's make him Frankie's set-up man" or, "Hey, he's our number two starter!"

I fear that instead of Escobar being the first of many moves to back themselves up, Escobar is going to be given too much importance too soon and, when he gets hurt again, will leave the Mets with another huge gaping hole that they can't fill until it's too late. When the Mets got J.J. Putz, it was great but more moves needed to be made. They weren't. And Putz going down was something the Mets couldn't recover from (the club's handling of his injury didn't help either.)

You want to tell me that Escobar is "low risk/high reward", fine. I hated that term when it applied to Gary Sheffield ... because it's my belief that it never applied to Sheffield. Signing Sheffield is never, ever "low risk". I still hate that term, but I'll grant you that signing Escobar could portray this mythical "low risk/high reward" scenario. But that'll be true only if he's put in a position where losing him to yet another injury (and let's face it, his history doesn't look good here) isn't going to hurt them. Knowing the Mets and their recent history, I doubt that this is going to happen. The eyes of Omar and Snoop will no doubt be too big for their stomachs and Escobar, after a stellar April, will be given the keys to the kingdom, just as Livan Hernandez was at one time. Escobar will then promptly lose said keys in the needle disposal bin of the surgery room he'll be visiting, and the Mets will be lost along with those keys.

Tell me I'm wrong all you want. But it's gotta be proven to me.

National Cruelty

As the season drags to a close, we find our latest irony: Mike Pelfrey getting tagged by the Marlins, while Livan Hernandez ... yes, that Livan Hernandez ... giving up just two runs in six innings, including none in the first inning. None.

Umm, Mr. Lord of Baseball, why are you so cruel to me? Why must you continue to make me cry? Livan Hernandez?

And speaking of Livan, don't you find it ironic that he's been the healthy one this season, and as it turns out he was the one in the car wreck?

It's entirely possible the Mets may never win again this season. But let's look at the only positive we'll ever take from a 2009 Mets game going forward: no player was hurt. Mets bloggers including myself, however, weren't so lucky.

But you know the next injury is coming. And I think I've found the next culprit: gum!

A Vasco da Gama player ended up in hospital after colliding with an opponent and choking on his chewing gum during a second division match in Brazil. Striker Aloisio lost consciousness for a few moments as he collapsed to the ground after challenging for the ball in the second half of Vasco's 1-0 win over Brasiliense on Tuesday. Doctors said he sustained a head injury and stopped breathing momentarily as the chewing gum obstructed his airways. (...) "I only remember the doctor taking the gum out. I have never been scared like this — no more chewing gum for me."

Knowing this team, it'll probably be hard candy like a Jolly Rancher. Or a mouth full of pizza. But don't be scared ... the incident isn't going to be life threatening. It's not like this team hasn't had experience with choking. Concussions, they'll screw up. Choking? No problem.

Well, as the glue from my Felix Millan mustache is making me light-headed, it's time for a few days off to get my bearings straight. Don't worry, I'm not flying to Denver, and I'll be back for regular duty on Sunday. But until then stay tuned for a special report from Billy Wagner's first day in Boston!

From The Desk Of Omar Minaya: Revised

Flushing: Where careers go to die.

Thumbelina

When the Mets signed Alex Cora, they did so on the same day that Derek Lowe went to the Braves. I then compared Cora to a bag of Funyuns.

Yeah, here's the thing: I like Funyuns. Always have. Cora had more nutritional value to the Mets than Funyuns have when I eat them.

But don't go running to the stores to load up on them, they're out of stock for ten weeks. Yes, Alex Cora is out for the season with not one, but two bad thumbs. Which begs the question: how in the world did he hit a home run in San Diego with two busted thumb ligaments? And can we have a banner hung in left field to honor that?

In other news, Livan Hernandez's thumb ligaments are fine ... it's just his stuff that's out for the season, as another hitter in a deep slump comes to New York and finds his stroke in a 10-1 loss to the Giants. The season has gotten so bad, and fans have gotten so upset that they're now raucously cheering one-out walks to Andy Green while down by nine runs in the ninth. They've become so mad that they're happy, and the whole foundation is collapsing upon itself. The Mets will be physically rehabbing in the offseason, while their fans will be rehabbing with hours and hours of intense therapy. Good eye, Andy.

In even more news, Jeff Wilpon had to perform more damage control as he personally travelled to Buffalo to apologize for making Bison fans miserable watching the one team which might be less fun to watch than the Mets.

"There's disappointment in the fan base and ownership here as well as ownership in New York with how they've performed. We have to fix that. It's something we want to do better and we will do better for the city of Buffalo and for the Mets. It's good business to do better and it's also the morally right thing to do because Buffalo has opened its arms to us and we really appreciate that."

So basically what he's saying is that the team that he gave to Buffalo is an affront to Jesus, who is probably pissed off that somehow, Mike Lamb still has work. But funny how good business comes before morals in that statement. Money, then values. Of course.

Wilpon also went on to apologize to the city of Buffalo for jobs lost due to the recession, the state government, Oliver Perez's rehab starts, Brett Hull being in the crease, lake effect snow, Scott Norwood, Patrick Kane punching the cab driver, and Terrell Owens' reality show. He hinted that all of those events were somehow caused by Ryan Church.

Indestructible

So what's more surprising: that the Mets actually won a game in Petco Park, or that Livan Hernandez didn't dislocate a finger while teaching the kids in the front row the fist pump with explosion?

Oh yeah, I forgot. Livan is the indestructible one on the team ... like the Terminator. One specializes in superior artificial intelligence that adjusts to his surroundings, the other has a 63 mph curve ball.

Johan Santana hasn't been quite as indestructible from the mound, but he's slowly getting back to that point, as we're starting to see the second half Santana we all know and love. Sure, it doesn't matter. And yeah, it's only the Padres lineup. But it's the same Padres lineup that sent Terminator to an early shower, and beat the Mets about 200 straight times. So we'll just have to collect as many individual victories as we can, even if we can't add 'em all up in October and exchange 'em for a stuffed Daffy Duck at the bazaar.

***

With the way things have gone this season and this weekend, set against the backdrop of the Yankees sweeping the Red Sox at the new Yankee Stadium, something in my mind brought me back to an obscure piece written that I had linked to before. It's haunting as you go through it, so let's look back for fun (from 2007):

A study of the two new baseball stadiums by feng shui expert Judith Wendell found the Yankees' future home has good luck while the Mets' Citi Field will be plagued by "a lot of disturbed energy."

Oh, it gets better.

The Yanks broke ground on Babe Ruth's birthday, Aug. 16, and are repeating many elements of the old stadium, including the angles for home plate and the positions of the dugouts. Cathedral arches and the entire façade will also recapture the old Yankee Stadium incarnations.

"In feng shui terms, they are taking the 'predecessor chi' and bringing it with them and graphing it on to the new stadium, which is very good for luck," said Wendell, whose company, Sacred Currents, consults with building and homeowners.

As opposed to the team in New York that wanted no reminders of their old stadium whatsoever, right? You mean, that would have been good luck? Ah s**t.

"Unlike being christened with water [at Yankee Stadium], I felt energetically blocked," she said. "When I did dowse around the site, my rod spun wildly in various spots, thus denoting disturbed energy."

I hear there's a blue pill for that.

But now, get ready to laugh:

There is one bright spot for Met followers: Citi Field's color scheme of dark blue exposed steel with green seats and red brick are what Wendell calls a "power combination."

HA! LOLZ!!! POWER COMBINATION??? THE TEAM THAT HAS THREE HOME RUNS ALL SEASON??? ROFL!!!!!! Green seats and red brick are a power combination ... for Mark Reynolds, maybe. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!

Jeez, forget moving in the fences, what this place needs is a smudging ceremony. But it involves lighting a fire, so with the Mets luck in stead of lighting a match, they'll set fire to John Maine's arm ... the one that isn't hurt.

***

I see that Satan showed up the home plate ump from center field and got what he deserved. Remember all you kids out there, you're not allowed to argue balls and strikes. It's rule 9.02a.

***

And finally, if you were wondering how player development was going since Tony Bernazard left, wonder no more, as the crack staff has obtained this exclusive footage (that's been on the internet for ten days ... I think the crack staff is using the under .500 record as an excuse for being lazy):

Springtime In San Diego

Seems as if the Padres have some things in common with the Mets ... if you believe the Pods' scout that told Gary Cohen and Ron Darling that their roster is littered with guys who belong in AA. That sounds mighty familiar.

The Padres are last in baseball in the following categories: Batting average, runs, hits, runs batted in (or, rib eye steaks), and slugging percentage. Oh, and they're third from the bottom in on base percentage. Livan Hernandez, sadly, turned this AA roster into the '93 Blue Jays on Thursday night. I'm guessing that takes some work. I saw what Livan was throwing, and I threw grapefruits that were harder to hit (and Jeff Francoeur swung at every single one of them.)

Congratulations, Livan. You got beat like a rented mule by the San Antonio Missions.

The only thing New York's AA roster could accomplish on Thursday was add another AA player who can't hit. But at least he's been here before and he has a lame nickname. Yeah, Anderson Hernandez will save the day.

This probably means the end of the Angel Berroa era in New York. As if I wasn't dying a slow death already, now I'll have to experience a life without Angel Berroa (sheds tear).

This whole season, from Snoop Manuel's "let's get everyone some at-bats" strategy to the roster that's straight from the 1997 All-Star game, is starting to feel like seven months of extended spring training ... only the weather sucks.

(No Mets were injured in the making of Thursday's monstrosity ... or this blog post.)

You Don't Ingest The Gift

Sean Green got himself into a sticky situation in the eighth inning ... hitting Justin Upton and walking Mark Reynolds to load the bases with nobody out. But then, Green's guardian angel handed him a "Get out of Jail Free" card as Miguel Montero grounded into the 3-2-3 double play.

Green promptly took the card and ate it. His guardian angel gave up and went to Blue Smoke.

Green's wild pitch immediately following the 3-2-3 double play was the deciding run in Friday's 3-2 loss to the Diamondbacks, part of baseball's second easiest schedule down the stretch that the Mets were supposed to dominate. Oh well, another plan gone awry. What else is new?

Ooh ooh, I know what's new: Livan Hernandez second guessing the manager for pinch hitting for him:

"I don't like to come out of games. But it's not my decision. They made, I think, a bad decision."

As was pointed out, Hernandez was pinch hit for by Angel Berroa, who's average was 17 points lower than Hernandez. Oh good, another washed up veteran who had one good night and has fooled Snoop Manuel into thinking he's got another Hollywood script on the roster. Awesome. Coming up next:

(... Livan Hernandez comes in for defense at first base in place of Angel Berroa ...)

Animals Sprouting Wings

The Mets won a series! I must go to a bar and celebrate. Perhaps I can get there on the back of one of those flying pigs I've been seeing the last couple of hours

Well good thing the Mets won the series in Houston on Sunday. You never know what could happen with Mike Scott looming for the next game.

Oh, no no. Thankfully the only Houston the Mets will be facing on Monday will be Huston Street, who hasn't walked anybody in about the same period of time that David Wright went without hitting a home run.

The Mets didn't need a home run today as they strung some hits together, including a shocking triple by Luis Castillo. It was shocking in its pure distance to the power alley from the lefthanded bat of Castillo ... clearly trying to overcompensate for the lack of dingers on this club.

What the Mets did need was for Livan Hernandez to not be the first human to be involved in a "Cars for Clunkers" transaction. He looked like he was going to the scrap heap after the first inning, when the Astros had a golden opportunity to get five or six instead of the three that they did get (while others were probably thinking the Mets were lucky to get out of that alive, I was thinking that Livan Hernandez still only got one man out with the two runners being thrown out and that his ERA should have been about 127.) But after the first inning, the Livanmobile still has a working engine. It might need a bobbie pin stuck in it to run (or a side of beef), but it's running, and it's safe for another day.

If nothing else, the series win might make us forget about the latest Tony Bernazard story. It shouldn't, but it might.

Conducting a Symphony of Kazoos

So why did Daniel Murphy sit in favor of Fernando Tatis?

"I want to get guys in a rhythm." -Jerry Manuel

He's not a manager, and he's not a gangsta. He's a bandleader now. By choosing to bench Murphy after a good start on Wednesday, he's got us all scratching our heads as to what exactly you have to do to stay in a major league lineup. Yup, it's spring training in July as Snoop continues to force feed Tatis to the world to "get him into a rhythm", as if making sure that Tatis can count in 4/4 time is a component to winning baseball.

Ladies and gentlemen, your manager: Ricky Ricardo.

"Oh Daaaaanieeeeeel, you're on the beeeeeeeench!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."

Babaloo, baby.

It doesn't matter so much in the prism of tonight's game, as with Livan Hernandez's start tonight the 1927 Yankees only would have won 33 games (they won 109). But all the more reason to say: what does it matter? Let's reward our young player for getting himself a couple of hits and stealing a nut from a squirrel with that defensive play. What about getting Daniel Murphy in a rhythm? Or do we only care if Fernando Tatis is in rhythm while Murphy is hid in the back of the band playing the triangle? Doesn't it serve the long term interests of the club to develop Daniel Murphy into a legitimate option at first base and not just as trade bait in some ill advised deal which will set the team back another decade?

Or will playing Fernando Tatis keep those viewers tuned to SNY and keep those ticket sales flowing?

Seriously, how is it that a team that just put their 429th position player on the disabled list today can't find a spot for Daniel Murphy in the starting lineup every day?

But speaking of SNY, there was some good news tonight as for the first time all season (or at least that I saw), I could actually clearly see who was warming up in the visiting bullpen on an SNY's broadcast.

The bad news? It was Guillermo Mota.

Oh well. As tonight was the 40th anniversary of the closest a Met has ever come to a perfect game, why don't you check out what the '69 Mets are doing now, thanks to Sports Illustrated? (Hint: Throwing up while watching Livan Hernandez ... not on the list.)

Speaking of ill-advised trades which set the team back a decade ...

Moratorium On Optimism

This is what I get for being "uncharacteristically optimistic". I get six innings of shutout ball from Rodrigo Lopez, who's been riding buses and eating Krystal's for two years. Oh, and I get Livan Hernandez giving up seven runs in Philadelphia while wearing a red hat.

"Yeah, let's have the Mets wear the red hats while they're in Philadelphia, I don't see a problem with that."-Bud Selig ... maybe

See? I try to let loose a ray of sunshine, I get a 7-2 loss in red hats. It's my fault. No more optimism. We're done. We're not winning another game until the all-star break. And Fernando Nieve's getting lit up on national television tomorrow like a roman candle.

(Knowing full well how Fernando Nieve pitched the last time I implied he was going to get lit up during a FOX telecast. See how this works? Roman candle? Fourth of July? Ah, forget it.)

There's Some Grit In Them Furry Beasts

As if going to Pittsburgh for a one game rainout makeup isn't exciting enough, the Mets were also able to catch the phenomenon known as Anthrocon 2009, a convention where people can dress like animals. Boy, it was the club's lucky day ... let alone Kevin Burkhardt's lucky day.

This has to be the reason that Tim Redding has such an awful start today ... apparently, Redding's goatee was a keynote speaker at the event. Who knew?

But in this period of time where we're all kinda waiting for the bottom to drop out, we might be seeing the beginnings of evidence that maybe nobody should be throwing in the towel on this team just yet. Down 5-0 to the Pirates' best starter on a one-game stopover (akin to spending seven hours at Atlanta International) would have been an easy game to throw in the towel on. But not only did the Mets actually string some hits together to get some runners on base, they strung some more hits together to actually drive those runs in! Eight of them!!!

And believe it or not, at 8-5 ... even at 8-6, I didn't have that nagging feeling of doom that I usually have with this franchise. Honestly. I honestly thought there was no way that doom can befall them again. Law of averages, right?

Wrong!

Because it was then that Frankie came in with a two run lead in the ninth, and two batters later the freakin' game was tied. And not only tied, but tied by Adam "Carlos Beltran is a no-good classless goon who doesn't make enough plays to win baseball games" La Roche. If you thought I tore the house apart, not to worry. I just laughed.

However my cat, on the opening of the Furry Beast Convention, was quite pissed. So pissed in fact, that she briefly joined the Pittsburgh faithful in their heckling of Frankie.


Can you blame her? She's been through so much ... to have a blown save on a day dedicated to animal fur was just too much for her cat-like patience to take. She snapped, as I'm sure most of you did. But alas, more grit to come as Fernando Tatis was hit with a pitch to top off a big day for him, and Ryan Church drove him in to help seal the deal. And even Frankie came back to have a big tenth inning after coming within about a foot of losing the game completely in the ninth on a two-out line drive. Yes, the "resiliency" and the "grit" has been there more this season than in the last two ... but no more so than Thursday.

Unfortunately, this game probably means the Mets will be without Rodriguez's services on Friday against the Phillies. But speaking of the Phillies, I'm going to keep gettin' positive on you: Not that the Mets' three starters are any guarantees (Livan Hernandez, Fernando Nieve, and even Johan Santana isn't a guarantee these days), the Mets are facing Rodrigo Lopez (yes, Rodrigo Lopez), Jaime Moyer (who the Mets have hit this year), and Joe Blanton (who's improved lately in the way that you can improve from dog meat to merely beatable). The series is winnable, boys and girls. I know the Mets have made some struggling pitchers look like Bob Gibson, but Lopez hasn't pitched in the majors in two years. The Mets absolutely can't welcome him back to the majors by making him into a stud. And the other two pitchers aren't lights out by any means. So two out of three is not impossible (or, if you're not into double negatives, possible), especially if Tatis has indeed found his stroke and lost his looping swing.

Superman: Son Of Jo-El

I don't get it ... do the Mets orbit around a different colored sun that turns Jo-El Pineiro into a super hero?

That has to be the explanation. Oh you remember Jo-El as the guy who helped wreck the Mets season in 2007. And he was back at it again earlier this season. But Tuesday night was the topper as Pineiro hurled a two hit shutout and had as many hits at the plate as he gave up from the mound.

To reiterate: Joel Pineiro.

Not Bob Gibson ...

not Luis Tiant ...

not even Wade Boggs.

No, we talkin' 'bout Jo-El Pineiro ... who's obviously a combination of all three when he faces the Mets. Against everyone else, he's 1-8 in his last nine. Clark Kent for the rest of the National League, Jo-El of Krypton against the Mets. Of course.

In fact, Pineiro's hitting exploits had more of an effect on this game than he'll ever imagine. Snoop Manuel, obviously buoyed by the offensive exploits of Jo-El, decided he'd go one better: He called a hit and run with Livan Hernandez at the plate.

Now I know that this isn't your typical Mets/Cardinals rivalry ... it used to be that the Mets were the power hitting team and the Cardinals were the "go-go" team. That's what made that rivalry great because it wasn't just a battle between two hated rivals, it was a clash of baseball philosophies. And it feels weird to root for the team that has to be creative on offense, yet with all of the Mets' injuries, that's the world we live in.

That said, a hit and run with Livan Hernandez??? Has Snoop finally lost his ever-loving mind???

All right, so there weren't that many opportunities to do this tonight with Dizzy Dean on the mound, but inside a glass box marked "break in case of emergency" deep in the bowels of Citi Field, there lies a list of people decreed by baseball who should never be holding a bat during a hit and run. On this list:

• Chris Davis (because the Rangers' first baseman has the highest swing and miss rate in the league, and is single handedly ruining not one, but three of my fantasy teams)
• Pete Rose (because he's sixty-eight years old)
• My niece (because she's eight)
• Livan Hernandez
• Jose Offerman (because we know what he has tried to do with a bat)

Predictably, the result was a disaster, much like the rest of this game ... and every game that Jo-El of Krypton pitches against this team of nine Jimmy Olsens and zero General Zods.

***

This may be a little late in getting to you, but if you feel like drowning your sorrows in steak, you can do so and help a good cause at the same time: Ron Darling and Bobby Ojeda will be at Gallagher's Steak House at 228 W. 52nd St. (between B'way and 8th) for a benefit for Urban Dove to assist New York City’s At-Risk Youth. Call 212-245-5336 for a last minute reservation, or tell your friends. And if there's none left when you call ... well, blame me.

***

Maybe to change the Mets luck, they can play this little ditty as the team hits the field at home:



I'll take it in lieu of Sweet Caroline.

Yeah, I Think The Mets Can Trade For Aubrey Huff Now

So what if he occasionally drops a pop-up.

Big deal if he's more and more a DH every day.

And who cares if sometimes he blasts the city he plays for.

He giveth, but he taketh twice as much away. That's good enough for me. And let's get Matt Wieters in the deal too (get off the drugs, blogger.)

And it's a shame too. Because while there's no good time to blow a save, and there's no good time to blow your first save of the season*** (I don't count Pisarcik: The Sequel). But this was an especially bad time for Frankie to blow a save considering that the Orioles, as tough a division as they may be in, are the one losing team the Mets face for practically the rest of the month. And they lost an opportunity to not only take two of three from this subpar yet improving team, but to gain ground on the Phillies, who lost three straight to the Blue Jays (and when the Jays return to Toronto, that's like 3.39 wins with the exchange rate).

(And speaking of the Phillies, don't you find it interesting that Raul Ibanez was placed on the DL out of nowhere? He apparently played the whole season with a groin strain, but when it got too much he got put on the DL. Notice there were no conflicting reports, no "he said, he said", no being stuck in that "day-to-day" limbo for three months while the team is shorthanded and no throwing away of young relievers to keep players on the bench who are hurt ... there is only ... the DL, and that's that.)

It's also a shame because Sean Green is slowly proving to the Mets why he was an important throw-in for the J.J. Putz deal (or at this point, is it Putz who was the throw-in for the Sean Green deal). He got the Mets out of an eighth inning jam by inducing more weakly hit grounders (one of which ending with a great Luis Castillo play ... see, he can field) and all I kept thinking is that Sean Green was once saddled with the Curse of Aaron Heilman because of a bad number choice. And even though he only wore it for one or two spring games (only one, I think), he still had to go through a down period before he could truly shake it. I mean, how many chickens and goats and pigs had to be sacrificed* before the Curse of Heilman was completely lifted? And how many times were there no live chickens around to be sacrificed forcing Livan Hernandez to pull a Pedro Cerrano and go get some KFC? And how many times did the KFC say "oh, we only have Kentucky Grilled Chicken**" left, throwing yet another wrench in Green's emergence from said curse?

A valiant effort by Green simply laid to waste.

And now the A.L. Champs come to town with their manager already complaining about Citi Field ticket prices. Just another thing the Mets do to fire their opposition up. Take a number, sir.

*No chickens were harmed in the writing of this blog post.

**Blogger not compensated by Kentucky Fried Chicken.

*** Brian Bruney had no comment.

Author! Author!

It was noted during a recent Mets game that somebody was writing a book about the bizarre game that took place on July 4th of '85. Surely you remember it as the 19 inning debacle that ended near 4AM down in Atlanta.

If I were to write a book about a particular baseball game, I might choose Livan Hernandez's complete game from Monday night.

Seriously.

First off, all the really good and important games are probably taken by established (good) writers. Second, there were so many layers to this seemingly run of the mill 6-1 victory that it fascinated my warped mind. It's like an onion that only makes you cry if you're a Nationals fan. For example: You might have been all jazzed up about the debut of one Fernando Martinez. But I was greeted by the news that the Mets had traded for Wilson Valdez! OMG! Wilson Valdez!!! I've gotta get on the horn and call 718-507-TIXX! Our savior is here! Wilson Valdez!!!

Then I asked, who the hell is Wilson Valdez?

A healthy shortstop? Good enough. I'll take it and be excited about it.

Of course, the news wasn't so much that we have Valdez and Martinez, but that Jose Reyes and Ryan Church actually made their way to the disabled list. Omar Minaya doing right by the roster is a huge twist in the plot, and a breath of fresh air for Snoop Manuel. And ... Wilson Valdez! The cynic in you might say that your hopes for a new shortstop were low (a decent fielding .200 hitter in the majors) and that they weren't even met (a decent fielding .110 hitter in AAA). But a shortstop who doesn't have an issue with a bum calf or a torn thumb or a freaking hernia is at a premium here these days. So, I choose to be excited for Wilson Valdez.

But I'm burying the lead here ... which is the debut of Fernando Martinez, who went 0 for 3 with an RBI fielders choice on Monday. Certainly an inauspicious beginning for the jewel of the minor leagues. But his first major league RBI is nothing to sneeze at. (I will say this: We've gotta find a halfway decent nickname for this guy. Putting aside the increasingly lazy way we come up with nicknames these days: First initial of first name, first part of last name, like A-Rod, "F-Mart" sounds like an obscene grocery store. "Welcome to F-Mart ... Where You Can Go F&*k Yourself!")

It is strange that in a game that a great hitting prospect makes his debut, a pitcher gets his first major league hit. But Craig Stammen's single ended in a putout of home, so Stammen might be the first player to get his first ever hit and not get to keep the ball. Seriously, how often does this happen?

Furthermore, how often is there a game where beanballs are traded (Jason Bergmann hits Fernando Tatis after Gary Sheffield's game deciding home run during a case of wildness, and Livan hits Justin Maxwell in what may or may not have been retaliation), and noted hothead Julian Tavarez isn't involved? And he was in the game not long after that? Now seriously, how often does that happen?

Of course, the focus would be Livan and his complete game which is the very reason the Mets got him ... to give a breather to the bullpen every now and again. He's done it two straight ... with a seven inning effort against L.A., and the CG on Monday night. Put that against the backdrop of Ryan Zimmerman's on-base streak, which was at 43 games before he ran into Livan (another layer for the book). Now put that against the backdrop of Oliver Perez. At the same time Hernandez was chugging along, Oliver was showing the fans of Buffalo what they've been missing with the big club ... namely: 5 walks in four and a third innings against the likes of Pablo Ozuna.

Instead, the Mets got Hernandez's 127 pitch outing, and the revelation after the game that he's a thinker. The thoughts that went through his head pitching against the Nationals lineup is enough for a book all on it's own.

Hopefully, the book I eventually do write will be better than the piece of unmitigated crap I just pitched to America. But speaking of pitches, I pitch to you some post game analysis from yours truly tomorrow on NY Sportstalk Live between 9-11 on Wednesday night (most likely soon after the ball game). It's like a bonus blog.

Smiley Smile

Welcome to the baseball season, David Wright.

Take your coat off, stay a while. And please, save a seat next to you for Jose Reyes whenever he decides he wants to stroll on by.

Friday night's 8-6 comeback win was, by far, the best win of the season. Considering what the pitching matchup was, this really should have been a gimme for the Giants as Tim Lincecum looked nasty at times as he matched up with Livan Hernandez. Livan, it should be noted, gave up bombs to Fred Lewis and Randy Winn which foretold a bad night. Fred Lewis hitting bombs isn't a good sign. (Come soon, Tim Redding.) Neither is bad umpiring, as the Mets endured some horrid calls from Dana Demuth at third which cost them two runs in the first (happy now, Larry?) and Doug Eddings' moving strike zone which caused not one but two managers to get the gate (now that's gangsta.)

But the Mets got to Lincecum in the sixth for two runs and finished him off in the seventh. It's always a good thing when you get Lincecum out and the Giants bullpen in, and Wright took advantage with a three run game tying double which signals not so much a turning point for Wright, but perhaps the return to the apex at the expense of the Giants, and especially Brian Wilson, who is channeling his inner-Armando for this series with two straight losses, including tonight's throwing error which brought in the winner for the Mets.

As for the rest of the team, maybe everybody being out with injury has had a built in "kick in the pants" effect for the remaining warm bodies. Sure, they could still use some reinforcements, which could be coming in the form of recent signees Javier Valentin (I didn't even realize he was out of the league ... maybe if Reyes gets confused and thinks it's his former mentor Jose Valentin he'll shape up) and Tom Martin (I'm glad he's back ... I didn't want his last experience as a Met to be this.) But sometimes the actual effect of injuries is the opposite of what you'd expect.

I don't know how long it'll last ... for example, I don't know how many times Jeremy Reed is going to get two hits while starting at first base with a glove that isn't broken in (he was supposed to get one from Nick Johnson for Friday ... but he conveniently "forgot".) But if this is really the "jelling" that some think it is, I'll take it for as long as I can get it (sounds like I have an addiction, no?)

And speaking of unhealthy addictions, let's play our favorite rehab game: "Where's Oliver?"

It was a relaxing day of rehab for Oliver Perez as he went fishing with his rehabbing friend, Billy Wagner. They had a successful day at the lake, but the problems started when it was time to cook. Perez was in charge of preparing the meal, and after a few minutes of becoming frustrated while attempting to gut and cook the catch, Perez just gave up and threw the entire fish in the microwave, set it to two minutes, and gave up.

Wagner ate the fish and went to the hospital after becoming violently ill. Instead of blowing the save, Wagner was tagged with blown chunks. Big f***ing shocker.

Comical

Forgive me as I relive the Mets sweep of the Pirates by completely destroying the comic book genre:

Special thanks to the animators at Be Funky.

Unlucky Sevens

Four games, four starting pitching performances ranging from respectable to "oh my god he's got a gun." The author of the respectable pitching performance? He chose to give a giant "up yours" sign to his hometown team after they designated him and is now a free agent.

The Mets? They're left with four starting pitchers with ERA's over seven.

It's a jackpot of failure.

The latest member of Sevendust joined the club today after a brutal outing in which he is starting to make us realize why the Twins would flat out release an Opening Day starter (You'll remember he started well last season too). He is Livan Hernandez, who is quickly turning into as good an idea as New Coke was. More accurately, he's that bottle of Coke that's been in your fridge for 12 years, and instead of just walking to the corner store and buying yourself a new bottle, you decide "eh, what can it hurt?" So you drink it, and it tastes good going down. But then three hours later you're puking your guts out screaming "Why! Why didn't I just spend the buck fifty for a new bottle of Coca Cola???"

Yeah, it's April. Feel free to beat that drum set, for it's a catchy tune. But pretty soon the Mets are going to have to think about other options. Those options could include Cliff Lee, who the Indians may try to "sell high" on at some point. (Some may say that could make the rotation too lefthanded, but the alternative is to have a rotation that's too ... well, it's awful.) Other than that? Your guess is as good as mine. Now that Nelson Figueroa's gone, the next couple of options seem to be Jon Niese and/or Dillon Gee. (Good thing Omar Minaya stockpiled on the Freddy Garcias of the world, no?) If this keeps going with Sevendust in the middle to back of the rotation, all options have to be on the table.

***

Oh and by the way, one of the defenses for bringing Gary Sheffield on board was that he was a "take no s**t" guy ... a guy who "doesn't back down", as was quoted here. Funny then that when he had a chance to put that attitude to good use and run down Albert Pujols in the fourth inning, he became a nice guy and pulled up. I'm not talking about running into him at full speed and pulling a Sean Avery on him, but just running the bases as normal and not going through great pains to pull up.

Now I don't bring this up to pile on Sheffield, but to bring up a common thread that drives me crazy with this team (that and complaining about the starting pitching and Oliver Perez gets old after four or so of my paragraphs.) The Mets are too damn nice. Why, for example, is it a big deal when Sean Green knocks Pujols off the plate? Because it is a big deal. The Mets never do it. So when Green does the right thing and brush Pujols back, it gets noticed by Gary Cohen and Ron Darling as a big event.

What's wrong with that picture?

And how about this: If Carlos Beltran didn't want to slide on Tuesday night, why was choice two trying to score standing up? How about bowling Yadier Molina over? Why is that not an option? Is it because it wasn't a throw from the outfield? Is it because Molina is his buddy? Or is it because of the common thread that this team is just too ... damn ... nice?

Think about it, what kind of statement would it have made if Beltran would have knocked over Molina ... and let's assume the worst case scenario that night which would have been that Molina holds on to the ball, Beltran's still out, and Daniel Murphy still does his Foster Brooks impression in the outfield, fine. I'm willing to bet Bobby Bonilla's salary that the Mets don't come out so flat on Wednesday night. Sure, Beltran would have gotten some bad press for being a dirty player on a dirty play for a few days, even though clearly he's not a dirty player, and last I checked running over the catcher was a clean baseball play. And the Mets would have been scrutinized for a little bit. But the rewards would have outweighed the peripherals, guaranteed.

Instead, Beltran goes in standing, Sheffield pulls up, and the Mets prove the saying that nice guys get swept.