Showing posts with label Carlos Beltran. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Carlos Beltran. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Relaxation: Good For Some, Not For All

Who knew that all a guy who sat on the couch for three weeks needed was a day off?

It's funny how that works, but whatever works is fine with me.

Between Jose Reyes' extra day off on Monday, and Mike Pelfrey's one less day off on Saturday, everything comes out even and the Mets get another needed win against the Cubs. Reyes gets four hits and two RBI, and Pelfrey has another stellar outing with seven scoreless innings. This is starting to look like a 2008 type run for Pelfrey, who might have to relieve more on his throw days, now that Ryota "Swallows Man" Igarashi has gone and tweaked his hamstring enough to earn an MRI later today. Oh, and Carlos Beltran has been pushed back in his quest to start baseball related activities. This is starting to look like a 2009 type run.

By the way, did you know that in the world of buzzwords, Baseball Related Activities are the new Cortisone Shots?

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Under Destruction

So when do we get past the point of "working things out"?

I know, it's still spring training. But we're at March 31st now. This is usually the time of year where pitchers start to stretch things out and have good outings. What does Oliver Perez do? Seven runs, seven outs, three home runs. One of which, it must be noted, was hit by Brendan Ryan.

You might think that Perez is still in "warm-up" mode, or that he's "trying different things", or that Jon Niese preliminarily moving up to the third starter position over Perez and Maine is merely "Jerry Manuel's strategic geometry", but what I know is that giving up a home run ... over the power alley ... against the wind ... to a shortstop who still looks like he might still get carded at the local establishments at the age of 28 ... I don't care if it's Digital Domain Park in March, Citi Field in August, or Must See TV Thursdays on Mars ... it's a @#&$*#ing problem!!!

Oliver keeps pitching like this, the most exciting things we'll see and hear this summer will be Mike Francesa and Steve Phillips have the following conversation on WFAN over and over again:
MF: No Steve, I hate Carlos Beltran more.

SP: Oh I beg to differ Michael, I hate Carlos Beltran more.

MF: Listen Steve, I've been in this town for over twenty years and I'm tellin ya, I hate Carlos Beltran more.

SP: With all due respect, I've tried to trade David Wright and Jose Reyes. And I hate Carlos Beltran more.
Please remind me to throw my radio out the window every Friday and on days where Oliver Perez pitches.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Six? Seven? Eight? Nine? Are You Out There?

"We're still going to have to pitch. Whether Jose or Carlos Beltran is there, No. 2, 3, 4 and 5 are going to have to pitch." -Jerry Manuel
No they don't, silly.

John Maine might be out by Game 3, Oliver Perez could run off and join the Peace Corps (boy, that would make Volunteers seem like an MSNBC documentary aired at 4AM), and if Mike Pelfrey's sinker doesn't start finding a way to sink, then enough outings like Thursday against the Red Sox could drive him to become the first player in the history of Earth to go on the DL with Attention Deficit Disorder.

And all those fifth starters? Boy band.

So 2-5? They don't really have to pitch at all. It just means that Johan is going to have to pitch every day and go through an aggressive regimen of power naps and cryogenics to bring his dead arm back to life between starts. It's all about Prevention and Recovery, right?

Good thing Jeff Wilpon has improved the promotions so that we'll all forget that 2-5 are actually going to have to pitch:



12 Angry Mascots provides the comedic version of the owner's son.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

What If It Was Reyes Hanging Up On This Wall?

No more Filet-o-Fish for you, Jose Reyes.

Okay, so maybe Reyes wasn't throwing down boxes filled with the high calorie goodness with gobs of tartar sauce from Mickey D's, but now that option isn't there (it's kind of like when you break your fingers and the doctor regrets to inform you that your piano playing career is over even though you've never played piano in your life.)

You know what other option is out the window? You guessed it: Baseball related activities ... and that includes plain ol' exercise in this case. Between two and eight weeks is what the doctors are recommending Reyes rest up to deactivate his thyroid a little bit ... so add a few weeks on top of that so Reyes can get back to baseball shape coming off an injury. Just one jumping jack before then could put him back at square one. (No, I'm not a doctor.)

So best case is probably a Reyes return around April 20th. Worst case for Reyes might be about June 1. You're talking a possibility of two months without Reyes and Carlos Beltran. The field may have lapped the Mets by then. But think of it this way: Last season's Mets would have ignored the diagnosis of rest and put a shot of cortisone right in his throat. So we're making progress here.

So no Filet-O-Fish. And no shrimp tacos either ... ironic since the first commercial after the half inning where Keith, Kevin and Ron talked about Reyes' condition was for the new shrimp tacos from Taco Bell. That's ... just ... cruel.

I imagine every time Reyes sees this, he'll have to wipe away a tear.



Nothing compared to the tears fans will be shedding every time Anderson Hernandez is trusted to do ... anything.

Friday, February 05, 2010

And The Real Estate Is Cheaper

So I guess the question now is this: When does that Fernando Martinez for Yorvit Torrealba trade happen?
"When [Carlos] Beltran had surgery, I thought I had a chance, and maybe they would give me a chance at center. But they get Matthews Jr., and now I'm not sure where I am. I just can't give up. I know I'm a big league player, and I can perform at a high level. It's in my hands, so I have to keep working hard and maybe earn a spot. Maybe I make it to the big leagues with the Mets or maybe another team, but I know I can do it. I just have to keep working and waiting for my opportunity." -Fernando Martinez
Dude ... May I call you dude? You're only 21 years young, you were on the interstate in your time up here, and you haven't proven you can put a full season together without pulling ... anything. So dude, calm down a tad.

But once again, the Mets have seen a super-duper prospect's trade value dip before he could be traded for a guy like Matt Holliday or the like (see: Milledge, L.) The problem is: With Bay, Beltran and Frenchy (not to mention Corporal Matthews) blocking the entrance, the only way Martinez's value rises is if he hits .450 in Buffalo (good luck with that), or depend on another injury to vault back in the majors and hit a couple of moon shots into the Pepsi Porch. Part of it is the general practice of rushing their prospects through the lower levels. Part of it ... plain bad luck with injuries forcing him up to the majors before his time. But it lends itself to that whole "least efficient team in baseball" reputation in a new and different way.

So who are the Mets going to get for the guy they wouldn't trade for Johan Santana, Matt Holliday, or anybody else?

And when will Martinez become a mere Mets trivia question?

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

A Physical? Why, That Would Cost Money!

Gotta love an organization like the Mets that dares to fly in the face of conventional wisdom.

You know who else loves the Mets' organization? Used car dealers. They practically trip over themselves getting to Omar and Jeff trying to sell them a family wagon where the engine has been replaced by cupcakes and printer ink.

"What? A post trade physical? Come ahhhhhhhhhn! Where's your sense of danger? This world has gotten too safe. Live a little! It's like playing Let's Make A Deal where you never really know what's behind that curtain or in that box. Remember how much fun you had watching Let's Make A Deal when you were a kid? Come on, think positive and man up!!!"

But don't you kids find it fitting that an organization run by businessmen who were taken by a Ponzi scheme would blow something so simple like giving a guy with bone chips in his elbow a physical after trading for him? Because, y'know, damn near every trade ever made in the world in the last thirty years is immediately followed by the words "pending physicals." But not the Mets. Noooooooooo, not them. That's not nearly exciting enough for Mets fans. And excitement is what the Mets are about!

"Well we had no time for a real physical. Physicals cost money, and waste valuable time. And as you know, time is money. And we knew that one day that money would go towards bringing back Fernando Tatis for a third season. So we had a guy come in with a mallet to hit him on the knee and turns out Putz was fine. No no, doc was legit. He took a course."

The best part about the whole l'affaire is the Mets official response (not like the unofficial ones in the italics above.)
"“In our review of the player’s medical records in the acquisition of J.J. Putz, we were aware that he had a bone spur before the trade. He had the same condition in 2008 and was able to pitch with it. J.J. underwent an exam during Spring Training and an additional exam and MRI before he was cleared to play in last year’s World Baseball Classic. Unfortunately the spur did flare up again in May, and he missed the rest of the season."
Ooooooh ... BAZING! What a response!!!!! Except, y'know, it disputes nothing that Putz said in the "controversial" interview.
"When the trade went down last year, I never really had a physical with the Mets,” said Putz. “I had the bone spur (in the right elbow). It was discovered the previous year in Seattle, and it never got checked out by any other doctors until I got to spring training, and the spring training physical is kind of a formality. It was bugging me all through April, and in May I got an injection. It just got to the point where I couldn't pitch. I couldn't throw strikes, my velocity was way down."
Sounds to me like player and team are on the same page! Tremendous!!! Too bad the player is no longer a part of the team he's on the same page with.

But remember, one is an exception, two is a trend.
Putz’s season was over. And he learned a very important lesson: "That it’s my career, and when you know something doesn't feel right, and they want to take these little sidesteps to do something, and just wait and wait and wait, you got to get it taken care of instead of trying to prolong the inevitable."
Vindication ... thy name is Carlos Beltran.

But there was something about the Mets threw into their official response that was telling.
"We are happy to hear he is feeling well, and wish him success with the White Sox."
Yes, we've seen this kind of quote before. Here's the loose translation:
"Jam it where the sun doesn't shine, J.J."
Funny if a Mets doctor had done that, we might not be in this mess.

Yeah, we might still have Aaron Heilman.

"See! We knew what we were doing all along!"

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sunday Dreamin'

I had a nightmare just now that Peyton Manning was firing darts all over the field against the Jets in the AFC title game. And Endy Chavez was in the stands next to me wearing a Gilligan hat and a Revis Island t-shirt.

And the very last pass that Manning threw ...








... struck out Carlos Beltran with the bases loaded.

Then he shot a commercial with Justin Timberlake at the 50-yard-line before accepting the Lamar Hunt Trophy. Omar Minaya then took the podium at Lucas Oil Field to announce that he had traded Shonn Greene for Sean Green and Shawn Green. In celebration, Dwight Freeney, Reggie Wayne, and Hanley Ramirez tied me up to the north goalpost and left me to die. Hours later, Tom Glavine sidled up next to me, put his arm around me, and told me that I had nothing to be devastated about. And that's when I woke up in a cold sweat.

I don't know what this means except for the fact that all those steroids I've been taking for purely medical purposes have made me hallucinate two sports at once (does that make me the Bo Jackson of nightmares?)

Well, I'm just glad that's over. And I'm glad that no matter what happens in the AFC Championship game today, it can't possibly be as bad as that.

Can it?

Go Jets.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Jolbert Report

The healing begins. And it begins with Jolbert Cabrera, a 37-year-old utility player who has 126 plate appearances in the majors since 2004. He comes disguised as "depth". He will soon reveal his true identity as the Mets leadoff hitter and every day center fielder after Beltran goes on the 15-year-DL and Angel Pagan the first major leaguer in history to break every bone in his body while rounding third base on his way to second.

Hey, there's an empty abyss just over that hill. It's a perfect place to spend the summer ... and it's just big enough to hold our annual Apology Day party on October 4th. Don't forget to bring alcohol. We'll need it.

And chips.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Dogs And Ponies

“I am totally surprised by the reaction to my recent knee surgery. Any accusations that I ignored or defied the team’s wishes are simply false. I also spoke to Omar Minaya about the surgery on Tuesday. He did not ask me to wait, or to get another doctor’s opinion. He just wished me well. No one from team raised any issue until Wednesday, after I was already in surgery. I do not know what else I could have done." -Carlos Beltran
There's nothing. There's nothing Carlos Beltran could have done. There's nothing anybody could have done. There's nothing anybody could ever do. This is because Beltran works for trained animals, mostly dogs and ponies, in three-piece suits.

That has to be it. How else can you explain it? When other teams have major injuries, it's a press release. When other teams fire belligerent employees, it's a paper statement. When other teams open ballparks, there is much rejoicing. When the Mets do these things, it's the equivalent of a tanker truck spill blocking the Lincoln Tunnel combined with a 20-car pile up on the L.I.E. It's unbelievable how this team can take free lunch and make it into a world-wide health hazard.

So let me get this straight: Dr. Richard Steadman, Beltran's doctor, concludes that his knee needs surgery. Dr. Richard Altchek, the doctor hired by the Mets, agreed. So what is the issue here? The issue is that Mets management, none of whom to the best of my knowledge has a "Dr." in front of their names, needs to talk about this in a boardroom even though if the opinions of one of the best doctors in the country, and the doctor that the team hired agree with each other. So why the delay? So Beltran can miss the entire season? Why have a medical staff if you're not going to trust their opinion?

And correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there supposed to be a change in the medical procedures and lines of communication which would have helped in these matters? Wasn't that supposed to be reviewed? That's what we were told on Apology Day, right? No, instead we get the same old garbage that results in another fiasco, which is what everything the Mets touch seems to turn to ... a damn fiasco. All because management needs to be the ones to make final call on medical procedures even though nobody in that front office is a doctor of anything.

It's amazing how the only people entrusted to think are the people that have no brains.

But that's where we are ... another mess that we're thrown in the middle of. A mess of which you have Mike Francesa expounding on his medical knowledge (another one who isn't a doctor), you have Michael Kay reminding us on the airwaves that Beltran really wanted to play for the Yankees all along, and you probably have players all around the league wondering how many pigs, dogs and ponies have to sprout wings and fly over the Pepsi Porch for them to sign here or waive their no-trade clauses to come to this embarrassment. Think of the consequences if this had happened before Jason Bay signed here. Then he'd really be off to Beirut. And who can blame him?

Oh, and good luck getting Beltran to come back here after 2011 when his contract is up, as he counts the days until he can move Curtis Granderson to left field. Because when the first thing you think of after an injury to one of your star players isn't "gee, how are we going to replace his production", but "gee, how can we nail him on a technicality so we can get a couple of million back", you're going to have some problems regaining his trust.

All in all, it's just another reminder that we don't root, root root for the home team so much as we root for a business. One that's run by dogs and ponies.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

New Year's Rockin' Knee

Who knew that when Dick Clark miscounted down to 2010 that there would be real repercussions. You see, Carlos Beltran's latest knee injury which will keep him away from "baseball-related activities" for 12 freakin' weeks (taking him through at least the start of the season), has proven once and for all that Clark's miscount has kept us stuck in the year 2009. And that will not change until he gets back on ABC and gets the count right.

(Or he can go on NBC where there might be an opening at 11:30 soon.)

The funny part is that Beltran used his own doctor which, considering that Beltran has been at odds with the Mets medical philosophies before, should come as no surprise. He went to Richard Steadman last year, and that's who performed his latest surgery. The funnier part is the notion that the Mets are going to seek some sort of restitution for Beltran not keeping the Mets in the loop and making his own decision "without the Mets blessing". Yeah, like the blessing of the Mets really helped last season.

Except that last season is looking more and more like it's still this season.

Welcome back to 2009 ... the year that just wouldn't crawl into a hole and die.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Misplaced Funny Funds

Wait, let me get this straight ... the Mets made money off the Madoff scandal?

And still never signed an extra bat???

I mean, there was extra money? I don't buy it. If there was extra money, then why did I get an e-mail from the Mets offering a chance to win Dunkin' Donuts coffee for a year ... an e-mail which had absolutely no connection to the Mets whatsoever. Nice. If I wanted offers from Dunkin' Donuts, don't you think I would have subscribed to the Dunkin Donuts' e-mail list???

You can tell me that it wasn't just the Mets that did this. I got the same e-mail from the Cubs ... yeah, the team that filed for bankruptcy!

So all that money sat there doing nothing but collecting interest? F***ing Wilpons. Give it to someone who can actually use $47.8 million.

Like Steve Phillips! Hey, that should cover alimony for a couple of months.

I think I've blown a funny fuse on this. I feel like I'm Cartman in the episode of South Park where he had Kenny take the school picture upside down where you could see his buttocks instead of his face ... and then he took the picture and put it on a milk carton only to have two people come looking for him because they too have "buttocks where their heads should be".

Maybe I feel remorse ... although certainly not for Phillips, who put himself in this mess. More so for the family, in this mess through no fault of their own, who now have to deal with the details of all this get into the papers and thrust into the spotlight where they don't deserve to be. Maybe I indeed just blew a funny fuse. In either event, I hesitate to make light of this. It's too easy to cross the line from justifiable ripping to unnecessary piling on. Besides ... all the really funny stuff seems to have been already written, which would make me a plagiarist.

But in reality, he deserves to be ripped. It shouldn't surprise you that Phillips exhibits horrible judgement ... between trading for Mo Vaughn, discussing a David Wright trade, and unnecessarily ripping Carlos Beltran when standard op procedure on Sunday Night Baseball is to kiss everybody's butt, not to mention his first "fling" with infidelity. But this ... THIS!

...

Nah, that David Wright idea was still the worst.

Okay, now that the obligatory tongue-in-cheek portion of this monstrosity is over, check out Howard Megdal's take at NY Baseball Digest for a great take on the Phillips thing. I couldn't have put it any better.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Get Up

Well this becomes an ironic picture, doesn't it?

Here's why Carlos Beltran returning for meaningless games in September makes a difference: Sure, the Mets aren't going anywhere. Sure, Beltran could get hurt again. And I could walk out of my apartment and get hit by a truck (although getting hit by a truck in a hallway would be a feat). But look at all the players who are out for the season ... Delgado, Putz, Reyes, Sheffield, Perez, Niese, Santana, Cora ... and the list goes on. With this many players not being able to see action until Spring Training 2010 (which is really an extension of Spring Training 2009, which is still going on), every player that can remove a question mark from their own psyche should be able to do so. Because if you give credence to the theory that this is a mentally fragile team, any stabilization of that is more than welcome.

And if Beltran were to get hurt before this season is done, well then it probably would have happened anyway. Better it happen now and the Mets can go into next season with that on the checklist than it happen in April of '10 and another season goes down the tubes.

So it was good to see Beltran back, if for that only. But Beltran being back also brought back a small thing that's been missing in my life. You see, I have a little vocal tick whenever a Met hits a high fly ball. It's a quick little "get up". I used to yell "get out", but multiple people took it the wrong way, so "get out" turned to "get up." And I realized when Beltran was up with the sacks full in the seventh that I can't remember the last time I yelled "get up". I never even realized that I don't even yell "get up" anymore. I mean sure, the Mets have hit a few home runs but not many ... and not in any situations that would call for a primal yell. Then Beltran hit one near the wall ...

"GET UP!!!"

Nope, didn't work. But it was nice to get a whiff of June in a dreary September. And that's why Carlos Beltran makes a difference.

***

Tuesday showed why the SNY announce team of Gary, Keith, and Ron, are the best in the business. When the ten-year-old announcer wasn't bringing out the best in them (not to mention the kid was pretty good too. He even has the sarcasm thing down: "The Mets finally get a hit". I like him already), they were talking about Keith's fondness for manicures landing him a reality show on Bravo.

And yet ... and forgive me for sounding a touch blasphemous, a part of me enjoyed the "silent sixth", where there were no announcers in the booth. For someone like me who doesn't get to go to as many games as he used to, it was nice to feel like I was there. Even the loon who screamed "Leeeeeeeeeeeeet's goooooooooooooooo Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar-liiiiiiiiiiiiiiins" amused me. A little bit of the experience of being in the ballgame never hurts. I only wish that I knew about this sooner ... I would have had a non-working escalator installed in the house so I could really feel like I was in the park.

(Editor's note: no truth to the rumor that the announcers weren't in the booth for an inning because they were all in for major surgery.)

And now tomorrow is going to be just Keith and Ron in the booth? Something tells me that the game they did alone in the spring is going to be a mere warm-up to the lunacy you'll see and hear tomorrow. Get your Tootsie Pops ready ... and watch what happens.

***

And P.S., sometime after the game I make my weekly appearance on SportsTalkNY Live to talk Mets (the entire show is between 9:00-11:00) ... but this isn't going to be just any appearance. No, this will be an appearance where I will make a special announcement (pig latin for "plugging a personal appearance"), so be sure not to miss it.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Purple Thong

Even the former Yankees resurface to laugh at us


What's that? A quality start from Tim Redding? Someone call the cops and block off the street it's party time!

Oh, never mind. The last block party we had included a pinata. And the Mets' lineup couldn't hit that anyway.

Jason Giambi could sure hit that pinata pretty well, can't he? Scared to death of another bases loaded walk in the eighth inning, Brian Stokes threw a pinata to Giambi with the first pitch in a tie game and Giambi, obviously wearing the infamous golden thong, smoked it into center field for another Mets loss.

The two most notable things to come out of this night are Carlos Beltran's rehab stint, a 1-for-3 outing in Brooklyn, where he'll play the field on Thursday. Beltran's rehabilitation is already ahead of Moises Alou's, who tried to come back in Binghamton and lasted about an inning. So this is good news.

The other news coming out of Wednesday is David Wright going from the one flap child tracker to the two flap model while pinch hitting, making him look more like the Great Gazoo than ever. But it was the extra precaution that concerned me. You see, the Mets are making every effort to ensure that Wright has no more problems, and the protective gear will not be limited to the batters box:

That's right, the Hospital for Special Surgery has recommended the Elizabethan Collar for Wright, making sure that he won't suffer another concussion, or lick near the spot where he's been fixed. He'll be wearing it the rest of the season, in the field, the dugout, and at autograph sessions:

Here, kitty kitty kitty.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

It's So Big ...

Johan Santana: You know Nelson, this big chipotle cheesesteak sandwich from Subway restaurant is so big ...

Nelson Figueroa: Yeah, it's playing in the majors big.

Johan: No no no, it's winning the Cy Young big.

Nelson: No, it's pitching a no-hitter big.

Nolan Ryan: No no Nelson, it's pitching seven no-hitters after you leave the Mets big.

Angel Pagan: No Nolan, it's constantly holding at third base on singles to the outfield big.

Luis Castillo: No Angel, it's falling down the dugout steps and spraining your ankle big.

Hospital for Special Surgery: No Luis, it's diagnosing your injury and having people who know nothing about medicine prescribe a cortisone shot big.

Snoop Manuel: No doctors, it's not needing tendons to play baseball big.


Jose Reyes: No coach, it's not being able to run because of that tendon that I supposedly don't need big.

K-Rod: No Jose, it's blowing a 7-5 lead in the ninth big.

Johan: Wait a minute Frankie, it's not that big.

Sean Green: No Frankie, it's hitting the first batter you see in a tie game with the bases loaded with your first pitch big.

Albert Pujols: No Sean, it's hitting a grand slam to put the game away while playing lion to your christian big.

Johan Santana: Come on guys ...

David Wright: No Albert, it's having your season end in August big.

Carlos Beltran: No David, it's having your season end when all of your stars eventually land on the disabled list big.

Oliver Perez: No Carlos, it's having your season end when you let Derek Lowe go to Atlanta to sign a mediocre lefty to an overpriced contract big.

Fred Wilpon: No Oliver, it's having your season end when you get taken for $700 million on a ponzi scheme big.

Johan Santana: Yeah, I guess you're right.

Johan Santana: Hey, who took my f***ing chipotle cheesesteak sandwich from Subway restaurant???

Angel Berroa: (Mumbles with mouth full of sandwich) What?

Monday, July 20, 2009

North Flushing Forty

This may all be Jose Valentin's fault.

As I sit here and watch the Mets strut their, er ... stuff on national television, I feel as if it's probably time for one of those "what went wrong, how can it get better" posts. You know the one, it's generally designed to map out the road back to greatness. Except every time I do that I get slammed.

Okay, so I only really did it once. But I got slammed for it. (Editor's note: looking back on what I had suggested, you know it really wouldn't have been all that bad.) So this isn't going to be the "five moves to put the Mets back on the map" post, because I think it's going to take a hell of a lot more than that.

And that's the entire point ... because the Mets have been basing their entire existence over the last three years over making a scant few moves when the whole operation needs a complete overhaul in thinking. It's the phenomenon that Greg Prince refers to as he surmises that the Mets perpetual mission statement is to win Game 7 of the 2006 NLCS.

(Speaking of Greg, he and his co-host Jon Springer cordially invite you to "Two Boots Tavern" this Tuesday for the first 2009 installment of "Amazin' Tuesdays", where he'll welcome dignitaries such as Paul Lukas of Uni Watch, and author Matt Silverman. And old Mets baseball cards will get you a free beer, so saddle up.)

But then when you combine that with ownership which has been burned by both Bernie Madoff and Oliver Perez (and really, how many on this planet can say they've been burned by both?), you get a team that thinks they're one game away but spends as if they were forty games out. Why else would the Mets bother to sign players like Gary Sheffield who, while it's a shame that he was hurt while being the Mets greatest offensive threat, should never have been put in the position to be their greatest offensive threat, and that's the shame of it.

But it's a pattern that was given legitimacy by the one and only Jose Valentin. It's his fault for having such a good season at the age of 36 to give Omar Minaya the belief that there are more in the bargain bin like him. It's also his fault for striking out in the sixth inning with the bases loaded in Game 7. Without either/or, the ill-fated chase for the unattainable would have ended before it began.

Now this isn't to pick on Valentin, but the fact of the matter is that we're a long way from the days where Valentin provided over 50 RBI's from the sixth, seventh, and eighth spots in the lineup. And it didn't have to be that way. When Omar Minaya came out with his "the bullpen has been addressed" speech, everybody knew that the team still needed a bottom of the order bat and a true back of the rotation starter. Omar got 'em, but he got 'em from the scrap heap and the bargain bin.

We already knew that.

We also know that this team gets injured ... a lot. Happened again on Sunday, as Fernando Nieve was the latest Met to go down with a lower body injury ... yeah, a lower body injury. I'm through regurgitating the propaganda of the New York Mets. And that's another part of the problem ... a big one. Because not only is everyone getting hurt ... not only is the information heavily filtered ... not only is the information heavily wrong ... but the way the injuries are handled are a joke.

And remember, the people that used to handle the Mets medical issues were replaced because, among other things, Mike DeJean was sent out to the mound with a fracture in his leg that doctors never caught. So they were replaced by the Hospital for Special Surgery. Now I'm sure you all read the Adam Rubin article, but it's fascinating in that it's not necessarily the doctors that are at fault. Consider:
The scrutiny of the Mets goes far beyond free spending by a baseball operations department that failed to keep the minor-league system stocked. Questionable medical moves such as last year's decision to fly Church cross-country with a concussion have become commonplace. Still, players expressed full faith in the Hospital for Special Surgery, which provides care to the organization, and instead fault how the organization has used the information it is provided (...)

A source with ties to the Mets indicated that Beltran is extremely upset that he played for a month with a bone bruise after receiving a cortisone shot. The bone bruise ultimately doubled in size because of a lack of adequate rest, according to the center fielder. Scott Boras eventually had Beltran get a second opinion from doctor Richard Steadman at the Vail, Colo., clinic that performed Alex Rodriguez's hip surgery.

Putz, who ultimately underwent surgery last month to remove a bone spur from his right elbow, had been told by team doctor David Altchek weeks earlier that he needed to immediately have the spur removed, a team source said. Instead, the Mets advocated a cortisone shot. Putz went 0-2 with a blown save and 7.71 ERA in 10 subsequent appearances before needing the procedure anyway. (...)

The Mets have had a curious track record of pushing players too hard. Billy Wagner was furious at Mets VP Tony Bernazard for insinuating that Wagner was dogging it when he complained of discomfort after throwing a simulated game in Pittsburgh last August. Weeks later, Wagner was undergoing Tommy John elbow surgery.
What the whole Rubin piece shows us is that nothing is in a vacuum. The Mets have boxed themselves into a corner to the point where they know full well that there's nothing in the minor league system, so in a twisted way it makes sense that Tony Bernazard is going to recommend cortisone shots and go against the wishes of the hospital ... anything to keep the baseball public from knowing how bare the cupboard actually is. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain ... it's Argenis Reyes!

It all fits. The signings are cheap because there's no money because of Bernie Madoff. And the major league talent are getting cortisone shots because there's nothing in the minor leagues except more of the low salaried, old man "talent" that are merely existing in Buffalo. Like pieces of a bloody jigsaw puzzle.

But you already knew all of the above. The big question is to ask what it all means for the future. The first option seems to be the most likely option as reported by most, and that's the return of Omar and Snoop for 2010. At best, the injuries are more of a factor than we all thought and 2010 will be the "our season has come" year. At worst, the realization that Minaya & Manuel are not the men for their respective jobs will come at the expense of one more season than necessary.

The second option is scary. That option sees Minaya and Manuel fired in favor of Bernazard and Manny Acta. I don't know Tony Bernazard, but everything I read about him tells me that I shouldn't trust him as far as I could physically, or even mentally, throw him. I've dealt with people who are sneaky, and that man is sneaky. And while Acta isn't necessarily a bad hire, if Bernazard he does hire Manny Acta, it only proves that he's more concerned with hooking up a friend and a favorite of his than hiring the best man for the job. If Bernazard paid more attention to his job than worrying about who's employed at other positions, maybe the organization would be in better shape than it's in.

The third option is: none of the above. Maybe the team thinks outside the box and brings a fresh approach to an organization that needs one. But would it matter? Would the Wilpons be in a position to spend money? Forget Bernie Madoff for a second, and think back to where the organization was before Omar Minaya, where the team was presenting half-ass offers to Vladimir Guerrero to save face before presenting us with the pizza twins (Karim Garcia and Shane Spencer) to play right field. Then Minaya came. And then came Pedro Martinez. And he made possible the signing of Beltran, which led to the trade for Delgado and the trade for and signing of Johan Santana. (I don't count Frankie's signing ... they swooped in to get what they needed in the midst of a bad economy. And I'm convinced that if the economy was strong, Frankie is still an Angel today.)

But what now? And what of the winter of '09-'10? While nobody will be asking for another big fish (and apparently there's not much out there), the Mets are going to need some solid pieces to support the Big 5 ... especially if they're planning to continue the Daniel Murphy Experiment at first base. But are the Wilpons going to continue to hide behind the Madoff losses? Are they going to use the excuse of injuries to say "well, we don't really need much because Reyes and Beltran will be back?"

And scarier still, are the Wilpons going to stop spending the way they did with Pedro and Beltran all together because now they have their shiny new ballpark? Will they continue to give us retreads like Freddy Garcia thinking that fans will continually flock to Citi Field for succulent cheeseburgers and mediocre baseball?

This offseason, which unfortunately I'm already thinking about, will answer all those questions. Those answers had better be the right ones.

And it would probably be better for all of us if those answers didn't include Jose Valentin batting sixth.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

The Symmetry of Eight-Oh

Of course, it would be 8-0.

Because the first I saw of the Mets game, the score was already 8-0. This happened mere moments after I just got finished dropping some money at Harrah's in Atlantic City.

How much money, you ask? Of course ... 80 dollars.

If you close your eyes, you can distinctly make out the laughter of each individual baseball god, as they just keep throwing the fun little coincidences at me. Not enough I'm in Atlantic City ... Phillie country ... losing money and seeing more Phillies shirts and hats than I've seen in every other visit I've ever taken here combined, but this morning I wake up, flip on SportsCenter, and find myself right smack in the middle of the "Top Ten Mets F**k-Ups Of The Season" (I don't think they actually called it that.) How do you know you've had a bad season? You have enough boners for a Top Ten of the Season list all by yourself, it's only July, and Ryan Church missing third base before scoring the winning run isn't even on the list!

You know how else you know things are bad? When Manny Ramirez gets ejected from the game in the fifth inning for treating his elbow pad like a hand grenade ... and he still goes 2-for-4 with three RBI!!!

And the news doesn't get any better, as Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran are nowhere near returning, while Oliver Perez returns Wednesday to either set fire to what's remaining of his career, or pitch the best game in his life in a 1-0 Mets loss.

But just when you think your life stinks, think of the 12-year-old youth travel team in Brooklyn who showed up to the field for their scheduled game to find out all the bases were stolen and the pitching rubber was ripped out of the ground, forcing the game to be cancelled.

Perhaps similar acts of thievery are the Mets' last hope.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Stroke Of Midnight

Bong!
J.J. Hardy
doubled to left.




Bong!
R. Braun singled to center,
J.J. Hardy to third




Bong!
M. Cameron singled to left





Bong!
F. Catalanotto singled to right,
M. Cameron to third




Bong!
J. Kendall singled to shortstop,
M. Cameron scored,
F. Catalanotto to second



Bong!
J.J. Hardy homered to deep left center





Bong!
P. Fielder singled to right





Bong!
F. Catalanotto doubled to right center





Bong!
J. Kendall singled to center,
F. Catalanotto to third




Bong!
B. Looper singled to left,
F. Catalanotto scored,
J. Kendall to second



Bong!
J.J. Hardy singled to left,
B. Looper to third,
C. Counsell to second



Yes, it was Big Ben up in this Milwaukee hizzy. But before Fernando Nieve's clock could strike midnight as we all thought it might one day, Snoop Manuel came to the rescue after the 11th "bong" hit and saved him. Nieve's fifteen minutes haven't expired quite yet. However, this season is due to expire sooner than expected. What with Nieve beginning his transformation into a pumpkin, Carlos Beltran going to a microfracture expert, and Argenis Reyes batting leadoff, it's just a matter of time. Falling below .500 is only the first step towards becoming a "below average team".

And here's how you know the worst is yet to come: When Luis Castillo drops a pop-up by trying to catch it with one hand, the Mets lose and become a national joke. But when Casey McGehee drops a pop-up by trying to catch it with one hand, he atones by hitting a grand slam off a team who's offense is so putrid, they give Chien-Ming Wang his first win of the season and Braden Looper his first win in a month on back to back nights.

But hey, they came back in the ninth to close the gap to 27. They're resilient.

Everybody is hurt, there are no chips to trade for important pieces, and there's only so much that Snoop can do. And there's nothing for you to do as fans but sit idly by and witness the foundation burning to the ground. So why not sit back, enjoy the show, and roast some marshmallows. Because when life gives you lemons, you cook them.

Or something like that.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Throwback

Well, it's official. With the news that Carlos Beltran is now on the disabled list, joining his friends Jose Reyes and Carlos Delgado, the offense will be more of a 19th century offense. It was a simpler time where home runs came at a premium due to the fact that everyone was smaller and, as seen from the photo above, there were no walls.

Citi Field has walls but you have to take the 7 Train to Main Street to get to them.

The Mets, with their 16 home runs in Monday's lineup, have become the 1885 New York Giants. That team's entire roster had 16 home runs all season. Six came from their catcher, Buck Ewing, which puts him on par with our current slugger Brian Schneider. You see, old time baseball depended more on base hits, speed, and fundamentals ... which makes you wonder how the '885 Giants went 85-27 with a second baseman whose OPS was .399 (and you thought Wilson Valdez had no stick.)

Of course, the '885 Giants also had Mickey Welch and Tim Keefe, who threw 492 and 400 innings that season. So let's just say if Bobby Parnell continues to slide, then Johan Santana and Livan Hernandez had better not make any plans on their off days.

We now know this 19th Century blueprint to be the plan all along, as rather than add bats, the Mets are getting rid of bats at the rate of lightning. Wily Mo Pena? Javier Valentin? Bobby Kielty? Who needs 'em anyway! The Bisons can go 24-43 without those guys just as easily as they did with them. No, the Mets want to party like it's 1885 and grow handlebar mustaches and have their baseball cards sponsored by Allen & Ginter cigarettes.

And at this point, why not? Omar Minaya has had plenty of chances to go get the likes of Adam Dunn or Aubrey Huff to play in their outfield. But at this point, why trade for Dunn? So that his protection in the lineup can be Luis Castillo? It's like being protected by the immortal Dude Esterbrook.

(Editor's note: We interrupt this blog so that the blogger can pat himself on the back for working in a Dude Esterbrook reference. I trust this will not be the last time that "Dude" will appear in this space.)

And with other GM's sure to ask for the world knowing that Omar Minaya is desperate to upgrade the club with major league pieces, why bother now? Why dip in to the lower levels of the minors to come up with the Reese Havens' and the Ike Davis' of the world to trade for Dunn?

Oh that's right, because the Bisons are 24-43 and the Binghamton Mets are 26-42 ... that's why.

I've said it before: if the Mets can't get through this stretch of tough games with or without their guns then it's a lost season anyway. There's no guarantee trading for Adam Dunn tomorrow is going to fill all these holes and cure everything that ails them in the next two weeks. The opportunity to trade for a big bopper is gone with Beltran now. The window has closed and that bird has flown so far away that he's circling Canada with the rest of the geese. It's over. The next opportunity to make a trade that will bring a big piece in without destroying what's left of the farm system will come after Beltran and Reyes, and maybe Delgado come back. Then you trade from strength and give up less to get what you need. So for now, the best course of action is to return to a simpler time and try to take down a fighter jet with a rock.

And who's to say it can't happen? Who's to say that Daniel Murphy isn't going to get hot? He hit one of those futuristic 20th Century crazes known as the home run on Monday so who knows? And who's to say that Fernando Martinez isn't going to have a much better second stint in New York than first stint? With the pressure off now that the focus will be much more on who isn't there than who is there, why can't Martinez go under the radar a bit and start contributing? The Mets got themselves a big win on Monday with the 19th Century lineup, why can't they tread water with it for now? Heck, every time I predict doom anyway it never happens so why not?

And why can't Elmer Dessens be a beacon of light to a depleted bullpen?

Okay, that last sentence was proof positive that you can pull a hamstring simply by being overly optimistic. I hope your retinas weren't strained reading that.

But seriously, what more can the Mets do at this point except roll the dice and see if they can roll a seven? If their 19th Century singles offense can keep going as it did on Monday, great. If not, then there will be plenty of blame heaped on Omar's doorstep as something probably should have been done long ago anyway.

(Editor's note: It figures I would pick Dude Esterbrook out of the air. As it turns out, and I swear I didn't realize this until halfway through this blog post, that Esterbrook threw himself off a train on his way to a mental hospital and killed himself at the age of 43. Fitting because while Dude also played for the defunct New York Metropolitans in addition to the Giants, the current incarnation of the New York Metropolitans is slowly driving me to a similar fate.)

(Editor's Update: Want proof of my impending insanity? Jose Reyes was in a car accident on Monday. Seriously. The good news is he's fine, and there's no truth to the rumor that Cecil Wiggins was driving the fire truck that rear ended the car carrying Reyes and Ray Ramirez.)

Monday, June 15, 2009

It Can Get Worse: Let Us Count The Ways

You're probably thinking that it couldn't get any worse after losing 15-0 to the New York Yankees.

Just like you thought that there was no way it could get worse after Luis Castillo's dropped pop-up.

And I'm sure you thought that the Mets couldn't possibly top Ryan Church missing third base and all the errors in the bottom of that inning for sheer comedy.

Well, as I'm sure you've learned, it can always get worse. And for the New York Mets, it most assuredly will get worse. Join me in staring down the crystal ball to find out just how it will get worse, as we look ahead to ten losses that will shape the Mets season:

Sunday, June 28: The Mets enter the ninth inning with a 13-0 lead against the Yankees, yet Snoop Manuel brings in Frankie Rodriguez to get some work in. Against a Yankees lineup which rested their stars for the latter half of the game, he gives up 14 runs including a two run HR by Brian Bruney, who came in the game for Nick Swisher who blew out his arm while pitching. The Mets lose 14-13.

Sunday, July 12: Frankie gets Jay Bruce to pop up with the bases loaded and the Mets up by two. But as Luis Castillo settles under it and puts two hands up, Jose Reyes is so happy for him that he tackles Castillo in celebration. One problem: Reyes mobbed him before the ball came down. Three runs scored after the ball drops as the Mets lose 6-5. The play is ruled a grand slam single.

Sunday, July 26: With every member of the Mets pitching staff having incarcerated by the Houston P.D. the night before, the Mets force Brian Stokes into action to pitch a complete game. After throwing 147 pitches, 127 of which for strikes, the Mets lose 2-1 to the Astros when Stokes throws a double play ball over the screen behind home plate with the bases loaded. Manuel vows to put Stokes in non-pressure situations going forward.

Monday, July 27: Todd Helton hits a screaming line drive to Gary Sheffield for the final out of the game ... and he catches it with two hands. But the umpires go to instant replay to find that the ball was hit so hard that a stitch from the baseball flew off the ball and flew towards the stands, barely grazing the Subway sign forcing the umpires to rule the play a two run homer, giving the Rockies their 42nd straight win.

Thursday, August 6: Ryan Church blasts a grand slam with two outs in the ninth against closer Heath Bell to give the Mets a 6-3 lead. However, Church is called out as he missed second base. Not only did the four runs come off the board, the official scorer takes away the remaining two runs because upon video review, Church actually had the audacity to miss every single base, and the Mets lose 3-0.

Monday, August 24: After not pitching for the previous 27 games, Brian Stokes comes in a tight situation: down by a run in the ninth, bases loaded, and Chase Utley at the plate with one out. Stokes goes 3-0 on Utley, after which Manuel visits the mound to have a heated discussion with Stokes. The next pitch is grounded back to Stokes, who holds on to the ball and doesn't throw it anywhere ... all the while staring back at Manuel in the dugout. As teammates try to pry the ball loose from Stokes, all four runs score as the Mets go on to lose 15-4. Stokes is released soon after the game and the Mets pick up Aaron Heilman off waivers.

Friday, August 28: Johan Santana is one out away from pitching the first no-hitter in Mets history at Wrigley Field when the first pitch he throws to the final batter dips under 90 mph. An ambulance immediately comes on the field to take Santana away for an MRI. "Now?" Santana asks ... "Yes, now" say the doctors. The ambulance, packed with every other Mets pitcher but one, drives Santana away. The one healthy pitcher left, Heilman, gives up back to back homers to Tuffy Rhodes and Pumpsie Green as the Mets lose 2-1.

Friday, September 4th: With the Mets down 4-3 and a runner on third base in the bottom of the 12th, Carlos Beltran drives a long one out home run headed towards the Pepsi Porch. But at that moment a fan, dissatisfied with his fish sandwich from the "Catch of the Day" stand for some reason, throws the remaining portion of the sandwich towards the field. The sandwich hits the ball, which changes direction and falls into the glove of Milton Bradley for the second out. Bradley then fires a strike to third base to double off Jose Reyes, who scored without tagging up and was already in the shower. Mets lose 4-3.

Friday, September 18th: The Mets lose 2-1 to the Washington Nationals, after they've traded Adam Dunn, Joe Beimel, Ryan Zimmerman, Julian Tavarez, John Lannan, Cristian Guzman, Nick Johnson, Anderson Hernandez, Elijah Dukes, Austin Kearns, and Joel Hanrahan for middling prospects. All of Steven Strasburg's 27 outs came via the strikeout in his major league debut as the Nationals lineup consists of Jesus Flores, Willie Harris, the four guys who dress in the President suits, and Screech the Mascot. The guy in the Teddy Roosevelt suit hits two home runs off of Oliver Perez and also wins his first mascot race between innings.

Sunday, October 4th: The Mets, incredibly, are tied for the wild card lead with the San Francisco Giants with one game left to go. Oliver Perez starts for the Mets, and he squares off with Mike Hampton. Perez actually pitches a good game, going six innings and giving up three runs before giving way to the bullpen. Hampton was better, going eight and 2/3's only giving up two runs. But he got himself into a sticky situation loading the bases with David Wright at the plate. The Astros brought in Hampton's 14-year-old son Gage to face Wright, and Gage strikes him out to end the game, and eventually end the Mets' season as the Giants defeated the Padres later that day.

When asked how he picked up on the subtleties of pitching to major league hitters so quickly by the New York media, Gage credited a solid Colorado education.

Friday, June 12, 2009

A Hank Size Hit, Baa!

Maybe the whole Jerod Morris/John Gonzalez thing was all an elaborate rouse to get Raul Ibanez mad enough to smack a Ken Takahashi pitch five miles over the right field fence to break the Mets hearts ... again ... in extra innings.

Nah, considering how much Takahashi missed his target by, Mary Poppins would have hit that pitch over the fence. So mad has nothing to do with it.

But jeez, you couldn't wait until next week to accuse Ibanez of enhancing his performance?

Oh, you wanted serious analysis. Well guess what? Got none. Gotta admit it's tough to ignore the three season trend of the Mets losing all these extra inning games where they have leads and then ... they don't, and attribute it to lack of heart and what not. You sure as hell could say it in '07. Last season was more the bullpen than anything. I can't explain year three. Yeah, blame Takahashi, but a Fernando Tatis sac bunt helped to do them in yesterday, and the lineup card helped to do them in tonight.

But losing two out of three to the Phillies in extra innings at home is a stark reminder that there's still a gap to be closed that seems wider than four games before the Mets can say they're on par with the Phillies. For me, that gap can be closed by getting some injured players back, but most of it can be closed by Omar Minaya and Snoop Manuel. We all know how Minaya can help close the gap. (Whether Minaya knows how to do it is anyone's guess. I guess a good start would have been signing Ibanez, but ... ah forget it. I can't tell you I saw this coming with a straight face either.)

As for Snoop, not for nothing, but isn't it about time we move David Wright (three hits on Thursday) past Gary Sheffield (three hits for the month) in the lineup? No? It's just another managerial decision that would have brought the Mets the fourth run on Thursday, as Wright would have knocked in Beltran in the third and given them the fourth run to prevent extra innings. I mean if you're going to put what is amounting to be an automatic out between Beltran and Wright, then just have the pitcher bat fourth.

Oh, speaking of the pitcher, guess who was put on the disabled list tonight? Thaaaaaat's right, John Maine. Yeah, just a dead arm, right? From the team that once let Mike DeJean pitch with a broken ankle. Different doctors, same misinformation. And on the very day that Orlando Hernandez finds work. Now which over 40 starter who's been out of the league for two years are the Mets going to turn to?

***

As you may have heard by now, a self described construction foreman has announced that he buried three Phillies jerseys in various spots underneath Citi Field while he was working for Hunt Construction. This of course brings to mind the David Ortiz jersey that was temporarily buried underneath the new Yankee Stadium (didn't seem to help Ortiz until this week).

Well, now is probably as good a time as any to admit to you that before I started this blog, I too worked for Hunt Construction while it was working on the Citizens Bank Park project, and I left some items underneath the Phillies' stadium. Here's just a partial list:
  • 25 Mets jerseys (5 pinstriped, 5 gray, 5 white, 5 black, and 5 of those pink ones that the girls like to wear
  • A Ty Wigginton t-shirt
  • A hat signed by Timo Perez
  • A set of used jockstraps worn by Jason Phillips
  • Certificates of authenticity for each jockstrap worn by Jason Phillips
  • Mustache clippings from Jeff Kent
  • A home run ball off the bat of Raul Gonzalez (only five of which exist in the whole world)
  • The deck of cards used by Bobby Bonilla and Rickey Henderson
  • An empty jar of peanut butter signed by Tony Tarasco
  • Bake McBride
No, seriously. Bake McBride is buried underneath Citizens Bank Park. Here's an exclusive photo:

I've also equipped each item with a tracking device which enables me to spot exactly where each item was buried. Using exclusive infrared technology I've mapped out the exact spots in the ballpark where you can find these items:

McBride actually moves around through the built in crawlspaces under the park, where he acquires sustenance from leftover cheesesteaks dropped through a pipe behind the Tony Luke's stand.

Needless to say, my efforts were fruitless. Maybe I should have used memorabilia from a higher grade of player. Oh well, you can dig if you want.