The Ballad Of Ray Ramirez

You would think with not only Prevention, but Recovery too, that you wouldn't see Ray Ramirez on a major league field until at least the second game of spring training. Nope. Game 1. Elmer Dessens gets hit with a line drive and there's Ray Ramirez ... again. He's ubiquitous (look it up).

I know, I know. You can't prevent a line drive to the leg. I know this. It's nobody's fault. But how am I supposed to turn the page on 2009 when we can't get through a week without seeing Ray Ramirez?

But on the bright side, Larry Jones was nowhere to be found, Snoop gave Nick Evans his first at-bat since the '87 World Series, and the Mets still haven't lost since September. Hope springs eternal.

Oh wait, there's Ray Ramirez looking at Hope's hamstring. It sprung just a little too much there.

Voodoo Dolls, Mongolian Barbecue, And The Collective "You" (With A Drizzle Of Liquid Concrete)

Bringing Fernando Tatis back, no matter how he may or may not help the Mets in 2010, is further proof that this is a regime that will never get out of his own way.

Forget that Nick Evans just threw away his Tatis voodoo doll (it obviously doesn't work.) But consider the following which Mack Ade crystallizes for us:

• Instead of keeping Billy Wagner, offering arbitration, and getting two first round picks when Wagner goes to chase the closer's job he wasn't getting in New York, the Mets trade him to the Red Sox for Chris Carter ... a AAAA power hitting first baseman ... and in the process save over two million bucks.
• Then, the Mets take most of that two million dollars and give it to Tatis to play first base. With Ike Davis most likely hitting Queens in 2011, they've basically insured that Carter, their big haul from the Wagner trade, will never spend any significant time with the New York Mets. They've also proven that their main concern with the Wagner trade was to save money ... and they didn't even do that right.

Don't worry. Maybe one day, the Mets will actually catch their tail. And maybe Carter and Val Pascucci can trade depressing stories over poker and Mongolian barbecue. Hopefully, they will save a seat for Evans and Craig Brazell at the table. And maybe they'll all flip on the Mets game in their hotel room and watch Wagner get Tatis to ground into a 4-6-3 double play to end a ballgame.

I ask you, as in the collective you, because the collective you is smarter than the collective me. What would you rather do ... spend $2.5 million on Corporal Matthews and $1.5 million (with incentives) on Fernando Tatis, or take that money and put it towards the two draft picks you would have gotten for Wagner, and just gone with Pagan in center and Murphy or Carter at first, hence start to think future while banking on the fragile present such as Reyes, Beltran and Santana to keep your head above water?

To me, Corporal is a waste of money no matter how much the Angels kick in, and while Tatis is okay (especially at a base of $800,000) outside of the odd double play or two or thirteen, he represents the Same Old Mets with the emphasis on "old" (Seems that "Same Old" label has gone from the Jets to the Mets in much the same way that Youppi went from the Expos to the Canadiens). And in the end he's pointless simply because you're waiting for Ike Davis anyway. So that's $3.3-4 million on anywhere from fair to poor instead of that money invested in the potential for great. It isn't like Matthews and Tatis are the final pieces to the puzzle ... they're merely expensive fixes for the leaks in the dam. It's like paying for liquid concrete when Mighty Putty is really all you need.

And if Corporal's UZR declines any further, I guarantee you liquid concrete will be the first think that comes to your mind as you watch another fly ball fall harmlessly to the ground.

What Have You Learned? Omar Minaya

What Have You Learned is our very special off-season series that will outline what you've learned, what I've learned, and hopefully what the 2009 Mets have learned about themselves, others, and 2010. Today, we look at everyone's least favorite person with everyone's favorite job: Omar Minaya.

Remember how easy it used to be to get a t-shirt that said "In Omar We Trust"? Now they're about as readily available as those Patriots 19-0 gold coins ... and worth about as much.

It's gotta be tough to be Minaya these days. He's the very definition of lame duck ... between his people getting fired around him, hiring new people who could possibly replace him (and I wonder whether Minaya was "encouraged" to do this), and having reports pop up that the only reason you have your job is because of the extension you signed, I'd say that would make a man feel quite inadequate. Good thing he's in the sports business, where there's no shortage of advice for that kind of thing.

What has Omar Minaya learned? Hopefully, how to choose his battles more wisely.

What must he learn for 2010? Unfortunately, he's going to have to learn how to be somebody he's not. Look, I think Minaya is a good GM ... but not for what this franchise needs. His strengths, being able to sign the big fish being paramount among them, was something the Mets desperately needed after the 2004 season when they badly needed an infusion of star power. The Mets don't need that now. They have enough stars. They need a GM who knows how to construct a roster 1-25. Minaya has proven that's not a strength for him. most egregiously with the Darren O'Day debacle (yeah, that still bothers me). But if he's going to keep his job past this season, he's going to have to make it a strength.

Is that fair? Absolutely not. I'm not a fan of putting people in a position to fail. When you start firing people to "send messages", you get away from the mission statement. Now who the %#$* knows what the Mets mission statement is, but what they seem to be doing is trying to "light a fire" under Minaya. The problem is that you can light a fire to make somebody hustle, or give more effort. But pressure doesn't make you smarter. School makes you smarter. And Minaya graduated Newtown High School way back in 1978. If there's something he didn't pick up before then, it's not coming.

But he's got one chance to fix this. I don't know if that's possible in one season. Problems like the Mets have get fixed from the ground up, and that takes years. Maybe Minaya can do what he does best and go after the best free agents out there, whom to me are Matt Holliday (NLDS Game 2 error not withstanding) and John Lackey. But that's going to be rough. Holliday would have to do what few do, and that's play in St. Louis for a half a season then actually leave ... since players love being there. Lackey? I see him either staying in Anaheim or going home to Texas, so Omar might be chasing his tail on both of them. With the rest of the free agent market lukewarm at best, Omar is going to have to change course and try something else.

Maybe that draft class from 2008 which includes Ike Davis and Reese Havens will be confirm Minaya's skills as a builder. But who knows if and when the Mets can reap those grains? Maybe Chris Carter will be a good first step, but that's assuming he makes the club. Minaya's best chances to fix this might not contribute until after he's gone. Since much of his staff will be starting from scratch, is there really a chance to make meaningful improvements in one season?

You want to fix it this year? Well, that might involve mortgaging some future, and that's what makes a lame duck dangerous, getting rid of future to save his job today. Here's the two edges to this sword: A: People say you have no future in your farm system ... and that's part of what needs fixing with this organization. But B: Omar says that's overblown, that there are some pieces that other teams want. All right, prove it. Make a trade for Derrek Lee if that's the case. Make a trade for Dan Uggla and Jeremy Hermida and give Florida more salary relief if that's the case. Make a trade for Doc Halladay if that's the case.

I don't know what the exact answer is. But if you want to fix this, maybe a good way to start is to watch a replay of the Tigers/Twins playoff, where you'll see two teams with talent up and down the roster, not to mention the balls to trust that talent when it mattered most. (You'll also see a team who won said playoff game where the winning pitcher was a guy you released in '05 ... probably to make room for Julio Franco or Juan Marichal or Juan Marichal's grandmother on the 40 man roster.)

Maybe a good way to start is to not waste roster spots on broken heroes on a last chance power drive. Don't even think about giving Gary Sheffield another season. I don't care what kind of numbers he put up, his signing was a mistake. Nick Evans' lost season was probably due in no small part because of Sheffield's signing pushing him to the minors and starting him on the abyss. Were 10 HR's and 43 RBI's worth that? Hopefully, Evans will be a viable option on the bench next season (heaven knows that Snoop Manuel made him familiar on the bench in September), along with Carter, and maybe Hermida if you trade for him. They can't be any worse than Fernando Tatis and his band of empty bench spots as the Mets played the whole season with anywhere from 23-19 players.

Maybe another way to start would be to take a chance on Miguel Cabrera, as the Tigers might try to trade him after his escapades during the last weekend of the season. Now, notice I didn't say that it would be another "good" way to start. Sure, while you wouldn't get him cheap, you might be able to get him at a slightly reduced rate. But if you want to change the entitlement that the locker room has been accused of having, Cabrera would be the absolute worst option you could choose. I know it's tempting, but now that the Mets are on a streak of sweeping final series, the last thing the Mets need is a lazy problem child who goes on benders and tells kids they're fat after once being as big as an El Dorado.

Other than that, have at it. Go forth and fix the team, somehow someway. Just go against everything you've ever been taught about how to run a team. Easy, right? Figure out what you've learned, Omar. Then forget all of it.

The Stench Of Inactivity

When Nick Evans strode to the plate for the first time in 11 days after being kept in some sort of storage, the scent of mothballs and Sucrets was palpable. It was too much for Tim Byrdak to take, as it reminded him of his grandmother's room. He threw a meatball down the middle and Evans launched it for a triple.

But what people don't know is that the only reason Evans even reached the plate to pinch hit is that Snoop Manuel was distracted by the most recent webisode of The Office. That Snoop, always looking for new material. But despite Evans' appearance the Mets still won Friday's game, allaying Manuel's irrational fears that letting Evans on the field will lead to not only certain loss, certain death, and the firing of the manager, but cause the whole Citi Field foundation to crumble.

Oh wait, that was Ryan Church that caused that.

In other news, Yankee fans are apparently grumbling to their cult leader that Ron Darling is announcing their first round playoff games. Oh, wait a minute ...



Okay, I'll hear your complaints now.

The Final Meltdown In The District Of Columbia

I really wanted to avoid a third straight "manifesto". For as sick as you may be of reading them, believe you me, I'm more sick of writing them.

And while there's no "Manifesto Part III" coming on this site per say, "Manifesto Part III" spontaneously came out at Nationals Park on Wednesday night after Frankie gave up the grand slam to Justin Maxwell. It came out in part because I was able to move up six rows to get right by the field. I yelled at anyone in blue and orange, and I lost my mind ... plain and simple. It was two days worth of frustration which topped off a season's worth of frustration piled on to three seasons worth of more frustration. It's like a Famous Bowl from KFC ... a whole bunch of slop thrown in a bowl (or in this case, a Washington Nationals ice cream helmet).

I lost my mind to the point that I wouldn't be surprised if this ends up on You Tube somewhere down the line. But as I've said, the anger was misplaced. These players, for the most part, have no business being in the majors much less on a pennant contender. The players that are bonafide major leaguers that are still here are either physically beat up, mentally beat up, or have been possessed by the soul of Aaron Heilman. Or in Frankie Rodriguez's case, all three. These are traits whose fault lies very little with the players on the field. (As I know from personal experience, when Aaron Heilman's soul envelops your body, there's very little you can do.)

The anger really belongs to the person who manages this team, the person who put the team together, and most of all, the people who own this team. But with the latter three not even in town (I think), and our manager rushing off to most likely record new bits for Dial-a-Joke, the players were all that were left. So they caught the brunt. And you must understand that Maxwell's grand slam topped off two days of baseball hell. First came Elijah Dukes' catch where you can clearly see me in the front row hoping to catch a home run, which basically makes Dukes Michael Jordan, and me Orlando Woolridge. I was posterized.

Then I realize that that former Yankee punk Tyler Clippard was the winning pitcher. Tyler Clippard has seven major league victories in three years. I was a witness to two of them. I loathe Tyler Clippard ... irrationally, but still.

Then came Wednesday. I was with an old buddy whom I hadn't seen in years, and never down in his new home in the Beltway. The last game we went to together was Game 5 of the Subway Series. We tried every single rally hat in existence, and some that weren't invented yet. We switched hats for the last inning, and if Mike Piazza's last out had cleared the fence, we were keeping each other's hat.

We didn't try that in the bottom of the ninth on Wednesday (since it worked so well the first time), but he was confident that we had the game in the bag as Frankie was facing Ryan Zimmerman. If he was confident, that was good enough for me. I needed an excuse to wash away all of the nonsense of the season and pretend, just for a few minutes, that it was a big game and we actually had a shot of winning it. Zen awashed me ... until BB-Rod and Maxwell combined to make it all rush back to me.

That's when I flipped out. Look, I realize it's not my birth right to see a win every time I go on the road to see the Mets. But for crying out loud, give us something this month ... anything. One warm and fuzzy memory to take to the winter? Just one? Especially when the all-star closer has a two run lead in the ninth?

No. The Mets are the Washington Generals. Think about it: The Nationals, a team with 100 losses and zero to play for, are running around like they've won the World Series and throwing pies at each other, happily throwing t-shirts to the fans. Meanwhile the Mets are playing because the schedule says so ... and they look like it. Who's fault is that? Johan Santana beat the Rockies 7-0 on July 30th. Since then, they have the worst record in the N.L. The San Diego Padres, with guys who should be in A ball, are 33-23 since that date. The Reds, similarly horrible, are 31-26 in that span. Oakland? 32-25. All aforementioned teams had nothing to play for by the time July 30th rolled around, like the Mets. Yet they've decided to show up. The Mets? 18-41. How long are we supposed to lean on all these injuries as a crutch? Eighteen and forty-f***ing-one. That's when cornstarch was patented!

Your manager has put a ton of stock and spent team meetings discussing finishing strong and playing to win. What has that gotten you? 18-41!!! And where has it gotten Nick Evans?

Get comfy, Nick.

You mean to tell me there's no at-bats for Nick Evans on an 18-41 team? There's room for Maxwell and Ian Desmond on the Nats. But Nick Evans can't break this sad sack lineup?

***

Let me digress for a second. Can I tell you that we got free t-shirts on Tuesday and free fleeces on Wednesday for the Fan Appreciation Day that we don't have (sorry to keep harping on that, it bugs the ever loving crap out of me.) Now I want you to tell me what you see, or more importantly, what you don't see:


What? A giveaway not slathered with the words "Spongetech" or "US Gold Dot Com" or some other corporate sponsor? You mean teams that give away things to their fans just for the sake of giving them away still exist? Wow!!! Look, I understand the ways of the world ... corporations pay for these things so that you can enjoy them. Bla bla bla. Then how can a smaller market team that draws nothing like the Nationals able to do this? Did they just have some leftovers lying around? Or do the Nationals just simply ... appreciate their fans? What do the Mets fans get?

We get our owners packing up the pitching rubber from Citi Field and presenting it to Mariano Rivera to commemorate his 500th save. No Mets hall of fame inductions since 2002, but Mariano Rivera gets our pitching rubber. "Congratulations on kicking us in the groin, can we bronze your foot?" I mean, what's next ... are we going to plate Luis Castillo's glove in gold and present it to Mark Teixeira for hustling all the way on the dropped pop-up? Or maybe we could dip the broken bat that Clemens threw at Piazza in encrusted diamonds and present it to Roger when he's inducted into the Texas Sports Hall of Fame. Ooh, I know! Let's take the DVR that I recorded Wednesday's game on, have me sign it, encase it in glass, and send it to Justin Maxwell so that he can watch his home run over and over and over again. And let's honor Adam Dunn for his bases loaded walk since we didn't sign him.

Oh, they'll decrease the ticket prices ... what a convenient announcement to make after looking like dogmeat this weekend. But now they have a built in excuse if they do indeed cut the payroll. See, trust nobody.

If the team wants to show their appreciation to their fans, here's an idea for the rest of the season: three forfeits. Just don't show up. Nobody will know the difference.

I'm sorry, I guess this was Manifesto Part III. But I'm just getting started. Once this wretched season is done, there will be plenty more to discuss. You can count on that.

Gangsta Depreciation

Thank heaven for Gary Cohen, proving that I'm not the only one yodeling in a canyon. Here's what he said on Saturday in not so many words: "Why the $%*& is Fernando Tatis starting at first base for a 66-88 team while Nick Evans is rotting on the bench? Have we gone to the Tony Bernazard school for developing players?"

So he didn't say exactly that, but he started the conversation out loud ... the same conversation rattling in my head between all of my personalities. I've never seen a manager manage like it's spring training from April-August, only to be eliminated in September ... and then manage to win the game. Doesn't it worry you that Snoop Gangstalicious got the vote of confidence from the Wilpons, and still fills out a lineup card as if he's going to lose his job tomorrow? And if that's true, doesn't it also worry you that he truly believes that the man who's going to save his job single-handedly is Fernando Tatis? This is what he's banking on? He might as well go to a roulette table and ask if he could put all his chips on 44 blue.

As you can probably surmise, I could care less that Tatis hit a two-run home run to tie the game. Did it help? No. The Mets still got it handed to them by the Marlins in a game where my psychic abilities came rushing back to me in one fell swoop. Jorge Cantu batting against John Maine and what comes to my head? "Cantu is going to hit it 500 miles." Meanwhile, in the real world, Cantu hits a screaming liner to left to give the Marlins the lead. Close enough. It was then that I left the room thinking "when I walk back in, I'm going to see an "8" next to "FLA". What do I see when I come back? A f*&%ing eight, that's what. Eight for them, three for the Mets. Show me what I've won, Gene!

"Absolutely nothing, Metstradamus!"

I'm never right when it comes to those stupid lottery numbers, am I? Noooooooooooooo! Instead, I have fishes and eights and Fernando Tatis dancing in my head while I'm stuck in this torture chamber of a season for another eight days waiting for Jose Reyes to play a minor league game which doesn't exist. Welcome to my world ... where the circus is in town, the common sense is optional, and it's always Fan Appreciation Day. Speaking of, don't miss Fan Appreciation Day this season as the Mets take on the Nationals on Wednesday ... too bad you have to go to Washington to be appreciated because the Mets don't seem to have a Fan Appreciation Day this season. Instead, check out Fan Depreciation Day.

Oh wait, that's every day for us. I guess that doesn't make is so special, does it ...

Tinker Toys

It's obvious as the nose on Snoop Manuel's face that as long as Fernando Nieve keeps pitching like this, he has to stay in the rotation. Isn't it?

Isn't it???

Well, maybe not. After all, Daniel Murphy has had nine hits in his last seven games before being benched against a righty on Wednesday night so Nick Evans could get into the lineup, and that 6-4-Tatis can stay there. Maybe Murphy came to Snoop asking for a breather. Maybe his last game being an 0-fer showed Snoop that Murphy needed a day of rest. But by that logic, everyone except Luis Castillo and Jeremy Reed needed to be benched after Jo-El Pineiro's two hitter.

My point is this: It's June ... late June. Everyone's on the DL. This whole Snoop notion of getting everybody at-bats has to be thrown out the window. There's no better chance to get players at-bats who need them to stay sharp. Gary Sheffield's knee is barking now? Guess what ... time for Ryan Church (3-for-4 with a long double to left which would have been out at Shea) to play every day and be in the middle of the order and not force-feed Sheffield back into the lineup. There isn't going to be a better opportunity to get Murphy in a groove and find out if he can do this every day than from now until the All-Star break. And if Nick Evans is going to go gangbusters as he did all over Brad Thompson on Monday, then let's put the kid in left field and find out if he can play and keep Fernando Tatis nailed to the bench if he's going to keep hitting into double plays.

It seems so obvious when it comes to using a hot pitcher like Nieve, why isn't it that obvious when it comes to hitters? The best players left have to play, and the lineup tinkering should be shelved.

There ... now that that's off my chest, hey, the Mets won 11-0! Awesome.

To reiterate, it was on the strength of another great outing from Fernando Nieve. And you thought I wasted a post on somebody who wasn't going to make the major league roster ... HA!

Well, I expected Nieve to be a disaster, so what the hell do I know? I'm just a dumb blogger, and I'm sorry. And if Nieve does this ten more times, I will apologize ten more times.

"I was thinking too much when I was with the Astros. The first time it was when (Roger) Clemens signed. Now, I just think about doing my job." -Fernando Nieve

So it's Clemens' fault. Figures. Screw you, Roger.

No similar salutation for Adam Wainwright, who admitted after this video that he still loves us Met fans. Well that's nice, but don't patronize me. The one thing that would have made 11-0 even better would have been if it was off Wainwright.

It's A Real Hit

Brian Schneider hit a three run home run on Friday.

Do I really have to say that?

You would be right to expect that Schneider's robust home run production would drop significantly in 2009. After all, the pitcher who Schneider has hit the most home runs off became his teammate this season.

That would be Tim Redding. And that home run total off him would be the robust number of 2.

"I'm not saying that."

So who knew that Schneider would blast one off Andy Sonnanstine in the second inning on Friday ... and to the deepest part of the longest baseball cave east of San Diego? I sure as heck didn't. And really, what does this say about Sonnanstine?

"I'm not saying that either."

Did you ever think you would hear this sentence: "Led by Brian Schneider and Fernando Nieve, the Mets closed to within two games of the Philadelphia Phillies for first place." Really? You saw this coming? Well, you might want to take that bottled water you're holding and douse your crotch ... for your pants are on fire.

Or if you prefer to keep your water to drink, then just wait until Saturday's game, which is forecasted to have an 80% chance of rain, so just walk outside with your blazing pants. And watch as Johan Santana hopes for an extra day off for his blister to heal and for his velocity to return so that we all stop panicking. Yeah, like a great outing from Johan will seriously prevent Mets fans from panicking.

Maybe if Fernando Martinez finds his stroke in Buffalo, if Nick Evans ate enough carrots while in Binghamton to combat his apparent night blindness (0 hits in Buffalo during night games), and Brian Schneider can hit .280 we'll stop with the panicking.

"That's it, I'm not doing this."

Omar Minaya: Behind The Blow

Well, another red letter season has come do an end (and that red letter is F ... I'll let you figure out what that stands for.) And believe it or not, I still have s**t to say. The following is one in a series of random stuff I'm throwing against the wall about person or persons of my choosing. These are your New York Mets: Behind the Blow.

I'm not sure there's a more polarizing figure on the Met landscape than Omar Minaya. And I'm also not sure there's a more scrutinized GM in baseball right now either. You love him, you hate him. And after two straight collapses, my guess is that most of you hate him.

There's a lot of angst over Minaya getting a four-year contract ... announced officially after the season was over but leaked before Collapse II, which made it all the more painful for fans to swallow. My response to that is not to get worked up over the length of the contract. It's not good business practice to have anyone ... especially Minaya ... in a position where he needs to make moves with the spectre of not being employed next season looming. That's a recipe for disaster, because Minaya needs to always think "long term" with this organization while he's there. When you see guys like Jed Lowrie and Justin Masterson be merely the latest in a significant line of Red Sox prospects who come up from the minor leagues and make huge contributions immediately, you wonder where that's been in Minaya's tenure.

At the risk of sounding like an apologist, some of that has started to happen. Both Daniel Murphy and Nick Evans have come up and helped the team in varying degrees ... Murphy looks like a keeper, and at the very worst, Evans could be trade bait to help some various holes (cough ... bullpen ... cough) that the Mets have. Whatever you believe about Minaya not being able to shore up the bullpen at the deadline, the alternative would have been to blow young players like Murphy, Evans, Eddie Kunz and the like to acquire from a limited pool of relievers including Jon Rauch and Arthur Rhodes (Rauch was horrible with Arizona and Rhodes ... incredibly ... was outstanding for Florida in his 13 innings. Though with the Mets he probably would have been terrible ... and he's still 38.) And then how would you have felt? The problem in 2007 was that the team was too old and, yes, bored. Minaya has seemingly reversed course and has relied more on the farm system. There's still a long way to go with the farm system, but Murphy and Evans are a start. And those calling for Minaya's head should take a look at the big picture and realize that even with all of Omar's faults, the organization is in significantly better shape now than it was in 2004.

Have we all forgotten 2004? I mean, sure ... you may complain about Carlos Delgado. But would you rather have Wilson Delgado?

But now that the season is over, and seemingly more relievers would probably be available, it would behoove Minaya to make sure that bullpen looks completely different than it did last year, four-year deal or no four-year deal ... because a third disaster will likely mean his head. So they have to pay him to do nothing for three seasons. With all the money they're getting selling their championship banners, foul poles, dugouts, and napkin holders, the Wilpons will barely feel the sting. Let's put it this way, when the first reliever comes into the game at Citi Field, he shouldn't just be announced, we'd better see Ty Pennington with a megaphone yelling "drop that curtain".

In other words, there had better be a makeover ... and it had better be extreme.

But here's what worries me about Omar Minaya and the Mets bullpen ... for that matter, it's the same thing that worries me about Omar Minaya and the rest of the roster: It's his penchant for falling in love with reclamation projects. There are only so many times that turning to the likes of Jose Valentin, Orlando Hernandez, and Fernando Tatis are going to work ... and when they work, the payoff has a limited shelf life. Combine that with the soundbite that came from Minaya (or perhaps it was Jerry Manuel but it's indicative of the same problem) when asked about getting Frankie Rodriguez:

"We're going to be creative with the bullpen."

Creativity takes many forms. Matt Groening is creative. Mozart was creative. So was Roman Polanski. Polanski is also a fugitive from justice for having intercourse with a minor. If you give a five-year-old a crayon and a wall, he can be creative too. But all you get are scribbles on a wall. I got a computer to be creative. But instead of writing the Great American Novel, all I could come up with was a blog where I make jokes about Wilson Delgado.

Creativity could be a good thing with the bullpen. Maybe Minaya will target guys like J.P. Howell from the Rays. Maybe he'll force Billy Beane to take a reasonable offer for Huston Street. Perhaps a guy like Frank Francisco from Texas will be available. Maybe Brian Fuentes will be willing to come to New York and close if K-Rod takes his 62 saves elsewhere. There's a whole host of guys out there who have been successful in the major leagues in the past six months that could be had at the right price. But what worries me is that the Omar Minaya I know has already given orders to the clubhouse staff to sew "Urbina" on a jersey for the first official news conference from Citi Field.

Because as you know, incarcerated relievers are as creative as it gets.

Count On David

Fitting that Sesame Street's own Ernie was at Shea today to help teach the many kids in attendance to "Count On Sports". And all those kids that were out there today learned from Jody Gerut that you can always count on sports to give you a tummy ache ... especially when Gerut waits for the Mets series to decide that there's some lineage to Mel Ott in his family.

So remember for all you kids out there (as Keith would say), sometimes ... bullpens suck. You don't have to tell Johan Santana that as he walked off the mound after being pulled from the game in the 8th after a couple of seeing-eye hits ... and his strut wasn't so much a strut but a hunched over shuffle to the dugout as if to say "oh great, another no-decision" as he left with a 3-1 lead. Sure enough, a spectacular double play by Reyes squared and Nick Evans (along with a bonehead slide by Scott Hairston as Glenn Hoffman was waving him around) could only delay the inevitable as Scott Schoeneweis gave up Jody Gerut's latest bomb to snatch yet another W from the ledger of Johan. I think that everyone kind of expected it, as it was a ninth inning that didn't quite feel like a ninth inning as the crowd had a vibe of impending doom. Alas they were right.

But thankfully, sometimes you can count on sports. And you can count on David Wright ... because he's handsome and he's going to save the day as he did Thursday with a walk off jobby off of Heath Bell. The Mets win, yet the kids learn valuable lessons about adversity, being a good teammate, and not being required to like everybody in your bullpen. Everybody wins.

Yes Virginia, you can count on sports.

But on a related note: perhaps putting the clip of Ernie asking Bert to "count the balls" on Diamond Vision isn't the best way to squash the misconception about Bert and Ernie's sexual orientation. Then again, maybe playing the part of the Gwen Stefani song that mentions a "stupid ho" over the sound system isn't the best choice on kids camp day either. Perhaps the following brilliant, fun filled yet potty mouthed ditty could have been played in homage of Bert and Ernie instead.

(Disclaimer: NOT for all you kids out there)



(And speaking of Diamond Vision ... for what was perhaps the defensive play of the year from Reyes squared to Evans, we in the ballpark could have really used a replay of that. The Monkees sing-a-long can wait ten seconds. Just sayin'.)

Hey You Were Right Willie, This Champagne Really Does Taste Sweet!

What a scene it was in the Mets lockerroom after finally winning a game for the first time in close to a week.

The banners were hung from the lockers with care as this meaningless win was sponsored by Budweiser.

"All right, I saved my job! For tomorrow."

"Woo hoo! I can't believe it David ... I got a clutch hit!"

"Hey Jose, who's this Nick Evans guy? He's not half bad! And his OPS is already higher than mine!"