And The Real Estate Is Cheaper

So I guess the question now is this: When does that Fernando Martinez for Yorvit Torrealba trade happen?

"When [Carlos] Beltran had surgery, I thought I had a chance, and maybe they would give me a chance at center. But they get Matthews Jr., and now I'm not sure where I am. I just can't give up. I know I'm a big league player, and I can perform at a high level. It's in my hands, so I have to keep working hard and maybe earn a spot. Maybe I make it to the big leagues with the Mets or maybe another team, but I know I can do it. I just have to keep working and waiting for my opportunity." -Fernando Martinez

Dude ... May I call you dude? You're only 21 years young, you were on the interstate in your time up here, and you haven't proven you can put a full season together without pulling ... anything. So dude, calm down a tad.

But once again, the Mets have seen a super-duper prospect's trade value dip before he could be traded for a guy like Matt Holliday or the like (see: Milledge, L.) The problem is: With Bay, Beltran and Frenchy (not to mention Corporal Matthews) blocking the entrance, the only way Martinez's value rises is if he hits .450 in Buffalo (good luck with that), or depend on another injury to vault back in the majors and hit a couple of moon shots into the Pepsi Porch. Part of it is the general practice of rushing their prospects through the lower levels. Part of it ... plain bad luck with injuries forcing him up to the majors before his time. But it lends itself to that whole "least efficient team in baseball" reputation in a new and different way.

So who are the Mets going to get for the guy they wouldn't trade for Johan Santana, Matt Holliday, or anybody else?

And when will Martinez become a mere Mets trivia question?

If The Juggernaut So Chooses

"You mean, Jeff Wilpon hasn't gone all Pacman Jones on Indianapolis and made it rain all over the Marriott yet?"

Oh good, Scott "Prince of Darkness" Boras has gotten a look at the Mets finances, apparently.

Scott Boras, who represents outfielder Matt Holliday, called the Mets a financial "juggernaut" Wednesday, citing their television network, SNY; their new ballpark, Citi Field; and their location in the New York market.

"Their revenues are in the top three or four in baseball," Boras said. "The New York Mets have a lot of choices, and the Wilpon family is very successful. Sure, the Mets can sign any player they want to sign if they so choose to."

If they so choose to. Sounds like famous last words to me. Or, it sounds like the screws have been tightened just a bit further ... if not by Boras, then by Randy Wolf's new Brewers contract, convincing the Mets that maybe they spend a little bit more to get more quality. I know, I know, paying for quality is a lost art on this planet. But perhaps the evidence may be pointing to the next Cristal party in Indianapolis being on the tab of Jeff Wilpon.

If he so chooses to (shudder).

Negativity? Here's Where To Find Some

One of my favorite Mets blogs had this to say a while back:

"I just can't believe how negative some Mets fans have become, scouring the blogosphere I've seen nothing but negative comments about how the Mets are handling the off-season."-Mets Fever

What Ed says is interesting because it's something I investigate in myself from time to time. Currently, I'm spending long chunks of time in deep meditation with the help of some mind altering drugs in far away caves (code for "too busy playing Bejeweled"). Seriously, it's a daily struggle not to turn this blog into the Rego Park version of "Hey You Kids, Get Off My Lawn". And if the Mets wouldn't give me so much material, maybe I'd be a bit friendlier and more optimistic.

But I'm trying. For example, here's how low my standards have gotten: The Mets signed Mike Hessman today. If Mike Hessman came up to me and hit me in the head with a baseball bat, I wouldn't know who he was. Then again, if Mike Hessman came up to me and hit me in the head with a baseball bat, I'd be happy just because he made contact (he's a .229 career minor league hitter). And, he's 32 years old. For the Mets, that's a youth movement.

But negativity is unavoidable this off-season, no matter what. Forget what has happened the last three seasons. Forget that this fan base is generally angry. Forget that my seminal moment in person with the Mets this season was turned into a Washington Nationals Christmas card (my constant heckling of the team immediately after this game did not make the card ... now that would have been a Christmas greeting.) But any direction the Mets go, whether it's an actual direction or whether it's just going around in a circle chasing your tail, has negativity involved.

Here are some of the options this off season:

• First tier: Holliday, Lackey, Bay, Hudson
• Second tier: Pineiro, Molina, Wolf, Torrealba, Marquis
• Trades: Hart, Bradley, Phillips, Harang, Matthews, Burrell, Halladay
• The Caulking Gun Strategy: Blanco, Hessman

Now the best case scenario for the Mets would be the Pu Pu Platter Approach ... one from each column. Ideally, it's the only scenario. Realistically, the Mets are going to be that guy from the Toyota commercial left without a car during the Dealathon, yet there's nobody there to tell them that there's more cars in the back. The ideal approach would require imaginative thinking that, frankly, I don't think this organization has. Certainly not the type of thinking and guts that brought a certain other team in town Curtis Granderson. Hell, this team's idea of imaginative thinking is changing the pinstriped uniform from white to cream. They can't even come up with good ideas for ticket plans before Christmas, so why should I accept a multi pronged approach to player personnel? Walking and chewing gum at the same time would be a good first step.

My ultimate point is this: even the best case scenario for this off-season isn't without its risks. It's not like 2007-08 when there was one end game for off season success in Johan Santana, or even last season when, even though the Mets had a few holes, the bullpen was by far the leakiest faucet. Whatever the Mets do, whether it be sign either Holliday, Bay, Lackey or Hudson and risk that their best days aren't behind them, sign Pineiro or Wolf and risk a drop in production, trade for Hart, Phillips/Harang or Matthews and risk the player they trade away become a superstar, or trade for Burrell and risk having to send a search party to find him in left field sometime during the sixth inning, nothing this winter is a slam dunk.

But that's not to give the Mets an out here. Conversely, this is the type of off-season where the Mets have to show the imagination they've rarely shown or even had to have shown. For example, that John Maine for Corey Hart rumored deal shows some of that. But if you're going to tell Met fans that Corey Hart, and not Bay or Holliday is their left fielder, you had better also tell them that one of the dominoes that need to fall for that deal to happen is John Lackey, or else the negativity is going to be out in full force, rather than the half force that you would get if you just signed, say, Bay and Lackey.

But hell, even Bay, Lackey and Holliday each have their question marks, whether it be an ability to navigate the Citi outfield, or being injury prone. But the biggest question mark would be whether it's worth it to spend big for 2010 when, let's be honest, the Phillies are still pretty much going to dominate the division, while bigger free agents are on the horizon for 2011 and beyond.

So whatever happens, it's going to be hard not to be somewhat negative. The only question is how much so. Are the Mets going to make the risky yet bold moves? Are they going to do just enough to throw out the mirage of competitiveness? Or am I going to have to gently tell the neighborhood Christmas carolers to get off my lawn?

Cyrano de Wilpon

(Our story begins with Matt Holliday returning to his crib after beers with the fellas ...)

MH: Don't forget, McGwire's the designated driver tonight. See you later, party animals.

OM: Hello Mr. Holliday.

MH: Oh! You're here. Well, talk. I will listen.

OM: I love you.

MH: Talk to me of love.

OM: I love ... you.

MH: Elaborate, please.

OM: I love you ... very much.

MH: I don't doubt that. And what further?

OM: I would love ... if you would love us too.

MH: You are offering me platitudes when I was hoping for a large contract. Tell me a little of how you love me.

OM: Very very much.

MH: Disentangle your sentiments.

OM: I love you.

MH: Again!

OM: No, I do not love you ... I adore you. Love makes me into a fool.

MH: This displeases me that you are no longer the confident man that would swoop in and tell stories of how it would be above all else to play for your team. That instead you are old and beaten.

OM: But ...

MH: Rally me your routed eloquence.

OM: I ...

MH: Yes, you love me. Now go away.

OM: But ...

MH: Oh sorry, you adore me. I've heard it. Drive home safe.

(Jeff Wilpon appears)

JW: What the hell are you doing?

OM: I was only ...

JW: I told you that you are no longer to do this without me. Now go stand over there. (Throws pebbles at Holliday's window)

OM: What? I'll die!!!

JW: GO!

MH: Who is it?

OM: It's Omar!

MH: Oh it's you. Go away.

OM: I wish to speak to you.

MH: Your conversation is too common.

OM: (With prompting from Jeff) How common does 6 years $108 million sound?

MH: That's better. But why is your speech so stunted and interrupted?

OM: (moving towards the doorway, out of Holliday's sight) Because the dark ... I'm afraid of the dark.

MH: What's there to be afraid of? Why are your words difficult?

JW: (talking lower and mimicking Minaya's diction) What does it matter if they reach their destination? Your words merely drop ... My words have to climb to reach you.

MH: So does your contract offer.

JW: My heart is large ... and my wallet is (gulp) larger. With the masses that will surely fill Citi Field and buy our delectable fish sandwiches from Catch of the Day because of you, no price is too high for you.

MH: Now this ... this is love.

JW: But tell me, do you grasp my love's measure? Does some little part of my soul make itself felt of you in darkness and make you tremble?

MH: Yes, I tremble. And with a couple more million you can carry me away to your Field of Fish.

JW: That would be Citi Field. And yes, I will carry you away until death or Dr. Andrews do us part.

MH: I'll play for you Omar.

OM: (jumps in excitedly) And thus we will have you, Doc!!!

MH: Doc?

JW: DOC??!?

SB: Hey, what's going on here??!?

OM: SCOTT BORAS!!!

SB: What are the two of you doing here?

MH: The two of ... Jeff Wilpon? It was your words that wooed me?

JW: Umm, uhh?

MH: And you, Omar ... you thought I was Doc Halladay, didn't you?

SB: Get the hell out of Matt's apartment complex!!!

MH: Yeah, I'm re-signing with St. Louis.

JW: Omar you idiot (slaps him upside the head). What are we going to do now???

OM: Umm ... go to Boston to woo Jason Bay?

JW: (sigh) I'll drive.

If You Can't Beat Him, Throw Money At Him

I'm not sure how I feel about the Mets' interest in Jo-El Pineiro. It's human nature to take note of a pitcher's success against you, and eliminate three losses a year by signing him to a long term deal.

I mean, on the one hand ... he's been unhittable against the Mets. On the other hand, so has everyone else. And much like hitters from Colorado (we're interested in one of those too), pitchers from St. Louis must be looked at with a skeptical eye, as Pineiro will not come with pitching coach Dave Duncan. Duncan may be the green crystal that Son of Jo-El needs to create his Sinker of Solitude, as in the solitary hit he gives up to the Mets every time he faces them. Without that green stick, would Pineiro be Clark Kent walking into the diner in Superman II and get the ever loving crap beat out of him? With the Mets' luck? Count on it.

Special appearance by Jimmy Rollins as "Zod"

What Have You Learned? Jeff Francoeur

What Have You Learned is our very special off-season series that will outline what you've learned, what I've learned, and hopefully what the 2009 Mets have learned about themselves, others, and 2010. Today, we investigate whether Jeff Francoeur has really turned the corner, whether this is all part of his evil plan as a spy for the Braves, and my new quest to win a Nobel Peace Prize.

I've often thought about how I'm going to make my mark on this world. Should I write a book? Build a better mouse trap? Develop a seed that makes broccoli taste like cinnamon, thus combining health with great taste? Then, President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize:

"I will accept this award as a call to action -- a call for all nations to confront the common challenges of the 21st century."

The President, with that speech, has inspired me to create a path towards my own Nobel Peace Prize ... and this is how I'm going to do it:

I'm going to bring the sabermetric guys and the scout types together.

If that's not a common challenge of the 21st century, I don't know what is.

And I'm not just talking about locking Theo Epstein and Omar Minaya in a room until they sing Kumbaya together (or until their eyes bleed, one or the other). I'm living on a grander scale. I want to bring everyone together, and make the baseball landscape one big Coca-Cola commercial. It's not going to happen in one post, it's going to take time. But it's going to be my life's mission. Because I want that Nobel Prize, dammit (can you win a Nobel Peace Prize if you say "dammit" all the time?)

It seems like y'all are for one or the other. And I think we can have both. If we had been so resistant to progress back in the fifties, we'd never have created the heaven we know today as Reeses Peanut Butter Cups because combining chocolate and peanut butter would have been akin to raising the dead with pagan rituals. And it's going to take the next genius GM to figure out what the right balance is between the batting eyes and the free swingers. Billy Beane brought us OPS. Then the landscape was changed with UZR. The next stat isn't going to be a stat at all ... it's going to be the one who figures out how to integrate everything including OPS, UZR, flat speed, straight slugging, and yes ... grit and heart (don't worry, I'll never become so blinded in my quest to win a Nobel Prize by ever suggesting this team signs David Eckstein), to build a better baseball team. The balance may not be 50/50 between the stats and the scouts. In fact it'll probably be closer to 78/22 or something. But the right balance will dominate for years.

What does this have to do with Jeff Francoeur? Everything. The three polarizing figures of the stats vs. scouts war are Francoeur, Adam Dunn, and Juan Pierre. Dunn and Pierre are probably the polar opposites in terms of how they're valued, yet the ironic thing is that both players can be of help to the Mets in different capacities. The Mets might need somebody like Pierre to cover the massive amount of ground at Citi Cave, but he doesn't walk. Dunn is a power hitter who walks a ton. But he also strikes out a ton and has as much range as a statue. Too bad you can't call in Dr. Alphonse Mephisto to splice their genes and make one super player that has defensive range and walks a lot ... although with the Mets medical luck, they'd hire a cheaper doctor to create a player who can't move, strikes out 215 times a year and has the batting eye of Mr. Magoo. (Think Dave Kingman ... 1982.)

So what have we learned about Frenchy, the third polarizing player? First off, I can't discount the fact that he's taken to New York quite well, and threw everything he had a smile on his face. On the 2009 Mets, a year where he's hit into a game ending triple play, and a game ending lucky stab by Mike McDougal, that's no small feat. When the trade was made, I thought Francoeur would be miserable going to a big city, going to a rival, and away from his hometown. It was the opposite. No doubt in my mind that put him in the right frame of mind to pick up his game. Amazing what you can accomplish when you're happy. Remember the Robby Alomar years, when he was clearly not happy as a Met? Didn't work out so well, did it?

And I was dead wrong about him in that I thought '09 would be dreadful, and '10 would bring us the new improved Jeff Francoeur. Instead, his '09 as a Met was as good as it could have been. If that was the sugar rush of a new team, much like the last part of '08 was attributed to that new manager smell, is it all downhill from here? If we have indeed seen the best of Frenchy, the saber guys will be all over him ... and rightly so, because that means that barbecue and batting cage time with Howard Johnson will have been a fruitless endeavor where Frenchy learns nothing. And what a waste of BBQ sauce that would be.

Here's where we bring the world together ... ready? Upon further review Francoeur, in the right situation, can be the right fit. Let's say he dips a little bit from the .311/.338/.498 line he put up wtih the Mets last season. If he's batting sixth in a lineup that has some serious juice up top, say, a healthy Reyes, Castillo or an improved version at second, an improved David Wright, a healthy Carlos Beltran, and a shiny new part like Jason Bay or Matt Holliday or Derrek Lee or whoever, Frenchy can be that guy crushing pitches down the middle with the bases loaded, instead of the Mets loading the bases with nobody out and having Anderson Hernandez up, followed by a 4-6-3 D.P. by Fernando Tatis.

Now, if you're going to depend on Francoeur to be your cleanup hitter, you might have problems. Because unless Hojo is part evolutionary psychologist, Frenchy is going to be who he is. It's up to the powers to put a team around him and continue to bring the best out in Francoeur where, walks or not, he can be somebody that everyone can love.

Peace and love. Peace and love.

What Have You Learned? Omar Minaya

What Have You Learned is our very special off-season series that will outline what you've learned, what I've learned, and hopefully what the 2009 Mets have learned about themselves, others, and 2010. Today, we look at everyone's least favorite person with everyone's favorite job: Omar Minaya.

Remember how easy it used to be to get a t-shirt that said "In Omar We Trust"? Now they're about as readily available as those Patriots 19-0 gold coins ... and worth about as much.

It's gotta be tough to be Minaya these days. He's the very definition of lame duck ... between his people getting fired around him, hiring new people who could possibly replace him (and I wonder whether Minaya was "encouraged" to do this), and having reports pop up that the only reason you have your job is because of the extension you signed, I'd say that would make a man feel quite inadequate. Good thing he's in the sports business, where there's no shortage of advice for that kind of thing.

What has Omar Minaya learned? Hopefully, how to choose his battles more wisely.

What must he learn for 2010? Unfortunately, he's going to have to learn how to be somebody he's not. Look, I think Minaya is a good GM ... but not for what this franchise needs. His strengths, being able to sign the big fish being paramount among them, was something the Mets desperately needed after the 2004 season when they badly needed an infusion of star power. The Mets don't need that now. They have enough stars. They need a GM who knows how to construct a roster 1-25. Minaya has proven that's not a strength for him. most egregiously with the Darren O'Day debacle (yeah, that still bothers me). But if he's going to keep his job past this season, he's going to have to make it a strength.

Is that fair? Absolutely not. I'm not a fan of putting people in a position to fail. When you start firing people to "send messages", you get away from the mission statement. Now who the %#$* knows what the Mets mission statement is, but what they seem to be doing is trying to "light a fire" under Minaya. The problem is that you can light a fire to make somebody hustle, or give more effort. But pressure doesn't make you smarter. School makes you smarter. And Minaya graduated Newtown High School way back in 1978. If there's something he didn't pick up before then, it's not coming.

But he's got one chance to fix this. I don't know if that's possible in one season. Problems like the Mets have get fixed from the ground up, and that takes years. Maybe Minaya can do what he does best and go after the best free agents out there, whom to me are Matt Holliday (NLDS Game 2 error not withstanding) and John Lackey. But that's going to be rough. Holliday would have to do what few do, and that's play in St. Louis for a half a season then actually leave ... since players love being there. Lackey? I see him either staying in Anaheim or going home to Texas, so Omar might be chasing his tail on both of them. With the rest of the free agent market lukewarm at best, Omar is going to have to change course and try something else.

Maybe that draft class from 2008 which includes Ike Davis and Reese Havens will be confirm Minaya's skills as a builder. But who knows if and when the Mets can reap those grains? Maybe Chris Carter will be a good first step, but that's assuming he makes the club. Minaya's best chances to fix this might not contribute until after he's gone. Since much of his staff will be starting from scratch, is there really a chance to make meaningful improvements in one season?

You want to fix it this year? Well, that might involve mortgaging some future, and that's what makes a lame duck dangerous, getting rid of future to save his job today. Here's the two edges to this sword: A: People say you have no future in your farm system ... and that's part of what needs fixing with this organization. But B: Omar says that's overblown, that there are some pieces that other teams want. All right, prove it. Make a trade for Derrek Lee if that's the case. Make a trade for Dan Uggla and Jeremy Hermida and give Florida more salary relief if that's the case. Make a trade for Doc Halladay if that's the case.

I don't know what the exact answer is. But if you want to fix this, maybe a good way to start is to watch a replay of the Tigers/Twins playoff, where you'll see two teams with talent up and down the roster, not to mention the balls to trust that talent when it mattered most. (You'll also see a team who won said playoff game where the winning pitcher was a guy you released in '05 ... probably to make room for Julio Franco or Juan Marichal or Juan Marichal's grandmother on the 40 man roster.)

Maybe a good way to start is to not waste roster spots on broken heroes on a last chance power drive. Don't even think about giving Gary Sheffield another season. I don't care what kind of numbers he put up, his signing was a mistake. Nick Evans' lost season was probably due in no small part because of Sheffield's signing pushing him to the minors and starting him on the abyss. Were 10 HR's and 43 RBI's worth that? Hopefully, Evans will be a viable option on the bench next season (heaven knows that Snoop Manuel made him familiar on the bench in September), along with Carter, and maybe Hermida if you trade for him. They can't be any worse than Fernando Tatis and his band of empty bench spots as the Mets played the whole season with anywhere from 23-19 players.

Maybe another way to start would be to take a chance on Miguel Cabrera, as the Tigers might try to trade him after his escapades during the last weekend of the season. Now, notice I didn't say that it would be another "good" way to start. Sure, while you wouldn't get him cheap, you might be able to get him at a slightly reduced rate. But if you want to change the entitlement that the locker room has been accused of having, Cabrera would be the absolute worst option you could choose. I know it's tempting, but now that the Mets are on a streak of sweeping final series, the last thing the Mets need is a lazy problem child who goes on benders and tells kids they're fat after once being as big as an El Dorado.

Other than that, have at it. Go forth and fix the team, somehow someway. Just go against everything you've ever been taught about how to run a team. Easy, right? Figure out what you've learned, Omar. Then forget all of it.

The Tornado Is Swirling

And it has nothing to do with the weather.

With Jose Reyes being sent back to New York for tests on his knee (tendinitis is the new concussion), there's a real chance that Reyes will be out for significantly more time than two days. To me, that means there's more pressure on Omar Minaya to upgrade this roster ... at least that's what I was thinking before the Braves traded for Nate McLouth.

(Oh, and great job not trading him a day earlier. Outstanding as always.)

Let us assume for a second that Reyes is out for a while ... purely hypothetical. With the Mets already behind the eight ball in terms of a thin roster (something they could have addressed a little better in the offseason), what will probably happen is that they'll go with the roster they have until, say, July 1. If they tank in June, Omar will probably be forced into a panic move. If they play well without Reyes, Omar will think there's no reason to make a move.

In reality, it should work the other way around. If there's something that I can pinpoint as a flaw in this organization (like there's just one), is that dealing from strength is something this braintrust has a problem with. Minaya is a culprit, but this team constantly waits until players hit rock bottom in their trade value, or until this team is forced to make a move (Castro) to do something rather than trade from strength. If this team has to be without Reyes for another month and they tank, you don't think Billy Beane will smell blood if Omar comes calling asking about Matt Holliday?

At this point, outfield is the one place that you could legitimately upgrade the offense. And you have to upgrade the offense ... you can't let Johan Santana continue to get one run of support per start. I don't think it's worth it to upgrade at shortstop (is Bobby Crosby really that significant an upgrade over Alex Cora and Wilson Valdez), and putting Daniel Murphy on the bench after you've finally found a position he's comfy at would just be cruel. So outfield it has to be ... whether it be Holliday, Aubrey Huff, or Adam Dunn.

(Don't think Adam Dunn isn't going to be available. Why keep the salary they have for this year and even next year if they're going to sink millions of dollars into Steven Strasburg?)

As I said in graph two, this was all in my head before the McLouth trade even went down. Now that the Braves have made their move, Omar and the Mets have to be next for a roster upgrade. And no, Matt Watson doesn't count as a roster upgrade. Nor would Sammy Sosa. And in case you were wondering, neither does re-signing Tom Glavine.

Trade Derby

You want to make the home run derby even more interesting?

Invite the slugging outfielders who are rumored to be going to the Mets in a trade. You can still do four from each league:

National League:

• Adam Dunn
• Matt Holliday
• Jason Bay
• Xavier Nady

American League:

• Raul Ibanez
• Casey Blake
• Juan Rivera
• Jose Guillen

Trade value determined by performance in the derby.

Worldwide Teaser In Sports

Please allow me a short rant at game time:

I sat through 30 minutes of incessant Brett Favre coverage because ESPN teased the following at 5:57:

"Tim Kurkjian will be along to tell us how the Mets are to landing a superstar slugger ... "

All right, I'm hooked. Because if the Mets weren't close to anything, why would they tease it? Then at 6:00:

"Tim Kurkjian on how close are the Mets are to landing Matt Holliday!"

Now I didn't think the Mets had enough to get Holliday, but the World Wide leader in sports is actually pimpin' this, so: OMG! OMG! OMG! So I'm busy trolling the internet, googling Matt Holliday, looking up his home/road splits (Holliday's road numbers would be near the top of the Mets roster.)

So I sit through a half hour of Brett Favre this and Brett Favre that, because I want to hear about the Mets getting Matt Holliday, and where they are with that. 6:31, we get this:

"The Mets are not gonna get Matt Holliday. They just don't have what it takes in the minor league system to get him ... they are gonna look at a lower type player such as Xavier Nady of the Pirates but ... the Pirates are asking an awful lot for Xavier Nady so that doesn't seem logical, the more logical point is maybe Casey Blake ... "

In the words of Jeff Spicoli: "You dick!"

And I don't direct that at Kurkjian. I like Kurkjian. I direct that squarely at SportsCenter. Look, I know all about the concept of "teases" in television ... throwing a little nugget out there only to put it on near the end of the show to keep you watching. Fine. But usually, a newscast will tease a story, and then give you ... the story! SportsCenter teased: Matt Holliday. I did not get Matt Holliday. I did not get any hope of Matt Holliday. I got Casey Blake. I sat through a Brett Favre flogging for thirty minutes so that I could be told the answer to the question: How close are the Mets to getting Matt Holliday?" is a resounding: "Keep dreaming."

And before you ask the following: "C'mon, you didn't really think that the Mets had enough in the farm system to get Matt Holliday, did you?" No, of course I didn't think so ... until the worldwide leader in f***ing sports teased that it was a possibility! What would you have done?

Thirty minutes of my life ... GONE! For Casey Blake. Thanks a lot, SportsCenter. Oh, and by the way, would you mind not putting a big "Breaking News" panel on the screen at 6:58 only to repeat the news about Brett Favre that you gave us at 6:00? That's not "Breaking News". That's "Broken News"!

Thank you for indulging me. Be sure to read my next blog when I reveal just how close the earth is to getting hit by an asteroid!