Stimulus Splinter

When last we left Ralph Kiner, he was comparing Fernando Martinez to Ted Williams.

On Saturday, Kiner was at it again ... comparing Ike Davis to Ted Williams during the SNY broadcast.

So let me get this straight, we have not one, but two Splendid Splinters in the New York Mets organization? Wow! Get that Canyon of Heroes ready for the next hundred years!

(The bad news is that in the parking lot after the game, Kiner told a fan that Frank Catalanotto, Alex Cora, Dillon Gee, his goldfish, and fagiolini rigati all reminded him of Ted Williams.)

But the fact remains, Davis has come up and been involved with five wins and only one loss with the Mets. The Stimulus has batted .350, cleared the bullpen with a home run, saved Snoop Manuel's job, fixed Oliver Perez's control, used mind tricks on Yunel Escobar, ended Jason Bay's slump, turned Henry Blanco into Rickey Henderson, optimized the batting lineup, and made Larry Jones drop that infield fly on Friday. All that's left for Davis to do now is put more Mets pictures on the walls of the ballpark, revamp the tiered pricing system, and end poverty and hunger in the inner cities. Who says he can't do it? He already has the Ted Williams swing down. The rest should be easy.

Puppet State

As a Met fan I know, realistically, that being happy is something that comes fleetingly these days. And that when the Met fan in me is happy, I expect a cold bucket of water to douse that flame of glee.

Joel Sherman's framing of Omar Minaya as the culprit behind Ike Davis' hurried call-up might be a bit off, but it serves its purpose as cold water. And the fact that Davis' day was unnecessarily a long one isn't what caught my eye from Sherman's blog:

"Mets general manager Omar Minaya told me he did not make his series of calls to get ownership's blessings, and to explain the plan to Jerry Manuel and others in the organization until yesterday morning. So instead of making a crown jewel's first day in the majors easier, the Mets turned it into an obstacle course."

Remember this. Remember this when Minaya gets fired, and you're all having your "Fire Omar" parties and you're shooting fireworks off your roof with the Gruccis. Remember that every move that Omar makes, good or bad, and the moves the he makes that will eventually get him fired one day, has to go through and be approved by ownership. While you may focus on the fact that Minaya didn't call for ownership's blessing until Sunday, I focus on the fact that Minaya has to get ownership's blessing to call up a minor league player in the first place.

I find it hard to believe that this happens everywhere in major league baseball. If I'm wrong, then please enlighten me. They have final say to the point where Minaya can't even make a call-up without calling Jeffy. Remember that the reason that Ike Davis was preparing to bat cleanup for the Bison in the morning only to fly to New York to prepare to hit sixth was because the Mets' general manager has to ask for "ownership's blessings" when it comes to trades, call-ups, pitch counts, and whether he's going to have the soup or the salad with his dinner.

Remember this when the next GM comes in and has the same puppet-like restrictions, and we wonder in five or six years why absolutely nothing has changed.

Stimulating

It had to be a long, long day for Ike "The Stimulus" Davis. At 11AM Monday morning, he's batting cleanup for the Bisons.

(Editor's note: Isn't the plural of "Bison" just plain "Bison"? I mean, you spend money on a minor league jersey and it prominently displays bad grammar? What are we teaching our young players? What are we teaching the youth of America? Oh well, if you can have a grammatically incorrect professional team like the Maple Leafs, who really should be the Maple Leaves, then I guess you can have Bisons. Okay, I'm done.)

As I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself:

At 11AM Monday morning, Ike Davis is batting cleanup for the Bison for a 1:00 start. His day ends as the sixth hitter for the New York Mets in a game that ended with two hits, a run knocked in, and a pie in the face from Jeff Francoeur at about a quarter past ten. I go that long without a nap and I get cranky. I'm sure the last thing that The Stimulus is feeling is cranky.

You can't get much better than two hits and a pie in your major league debut. Hell the pie was probably the first true smile that Met fans have had in a long, long time (I don't count that Nelson Figueroa pie last season ... that was more of a "thank God this abortion of a season is finally finished" pie.) But as "feel-good" as it was, this may have been the pie that made pies passe. Think about it, if Stimulus knew the pie was coming five seconds before it actually hit him, then that means the pie has become way too predictable. Either that, or Francoeur has become way too predictable.

Dousing him with the grounds keeper's hose ... now that's a postgame celebration, my friends.

But seriously, it isn't like that pie was Ike's introduction to Frenchy. Jeff was all over him all pregame with smiles and hugs as that's obviously a relationship that has blossomed this spring. At least Davis has somebody that will show him the ropes and teach him not so much how to play baseball, but how to be a major leaguer. That's an advantage for Davis. And with Frenchy only being three years older than Stimulus, they can discuss similar things like God O' War 3, Beavis and Butthead, and Ultimate Fighting. Eventually, these are the guys that are going to bring back the hotfoot. And Howard Johnson can sure as hell coach that.

Oh yeah, there's the matter of how Davis actually played.

They kept talking about John Olerud. Olerud in 1999 helped make probably the most perfectly constructed lineup that the Mets have had. Not the best, or most productive lineup, mind you ... but the construction of it was classic from 2-5 with Alfonzo, Olerud, Piazza, and Ventura. Lefty, righty, lefty, righty, all prototypes of what those batting slots should have. Ironically, what that lineup probably could have used was a guy like Frenchy batting sixth (too bad he was only 15 years old at the time.) And it's that construction that has obviously spoiled Snoop Manuel as he's tried to make Mike Jacobs into Robin Ventura by batting him fourth and fifth all season. (Ventura once hit a grand slam single ... Jacobs once had a grand slam breakfast at Denny's. Similarities end there.)

If Davis is anywhere near Olerud, I think we'd take that ... at least until he goes 0-for-10 against the Phillies, then we'll start complaining again. But there was a shade of Olerud in his game tonight. The long reach. The sweet classic lefty swing. And in the seventh inning, the ability to hang in on a curveball to ground it into center field after getting pushed off the plate by an inside curveball the pitch before. That's usually the benchmark in whether a rook is ready, how he responds to that. Davis did well. He stepped in the bucket a little bit on that pitch, so he has a ways to go. But he didn't look completely overmatched. As we move forward the next two weeks, that could change. He'll see Carlos Zambrano. He may see Derek Lowe or Tim Hudson. He may see Jonathan Broxton. All vets with either a clue, or with unbelievable stuff. We'll see what The Stimulus can create out of that the next week or so.

The best thing to happen on Ike's first night in the majors was that the night ended. Now, Davis can be a major league ballplayer instead of the looming savior that he has been made out to be since spring training ended. Having to hear about LeBron James every day for the six months leading up to his NBA debut and then having the entire day of James' debut be dedicated to a guy who had never played a professional athletic competition in his life drove me absolutely nuts. For crying out loud his nickname was "King" and he had done nothing except dunk on a bunch of 15-year-olds a foot shorter than him. That kind of lead-up and hype drives me unbelievably insane. But the best part of James' debut was that from that moment on, he was an NBA player, like every other NBA player. Now that he's among the best if not the best that the NBA has to offer, he deserves all the hype he gets.

My disclaimer here is that I'm not, repeat: not comparing Ike Davis to LeBron James or his baseball equivalent. But the hype that Davis was getting was morphing into a local version of the national attention that LeBron got. Between Mike Francesa doing an entire segment devoted to Ike Davis on his show every day to the constant mentions of his call up during the pre-game show to having hoards of media surrounding him when he steps out of the dugout can be a little much. Perhaps it was that hype that pushed the Mets to call him up in the first place. But now that he's played his first game, all that stops. He can now be a major leaguer instead of a mythical creature. (I guess you can say the Mets released the Kraken.) That can only be good for him as he can now put smiles on our faces for his production with the Mets, rather than put agita in your coffee cup for the things he was doing in Buffalo.

It'll be fun watching him take the next step in his career ... such as what Jon Niese did tonight. Niese wasn't dominating as he gave up eight hits and walked three in his 5 and 2/3's tonight. But what he did was get himself in trouble, and then get himself out of trouble by coming after guys and being aggressive. He wasn't scared of throwing any of his pitches, whether they be heat or off-speed, in the strike zone. Now you might say that it's a trait that only makes him better than say, Alay Soler, and you would be right. But what Niese showed Monday is that while he's going to have those struggles as he did against Colorado, he's also going to have those games where he's going to battle and give you good innings. And that those games might out-number the struggles if only by a little. From Niese, that's all you can ask for. He's also got a ways to go, but he took a step forward.

Oh, and Angel Pagan hit a big home run. It's an opportunity to tell you that when I was in Washington last season, a few Mets were kind enough to sign a baseball for me. Angel Pagan was signing too, right before the game. He had to get to the dugout as the anthem was done and he was leading off the game. But he said "I've got time for one more." Standing near him was me ... and a nine-year-old girl.

I just walked away. That's a war I can't win.

For People Who Communicate Not Good

"But I am throwing my fastball." -John Maine to Dan Warthen during a trip to the mound on Sunday night.

Not that I necessarily trust the lip reading skills of Joe Morgan, but ...

Uh-oh.

And not for nothing, if there was ever a time to cover your mouth with your glove when you speak, that would have been it, no?

It's never a good thing when you have a Brewster's Millions moment on the mound where the pitcher throws his fastball and the announcer calls it a changeup, along with everyone on both benches. It sure isn't a good thing if your pitching coach thinks you're throwing a change-up. And you know what's really scary? Not only is it my second Brewster's Millions reference regarding that particular scene, but I'm not even the first person to make a John Maine/Brewster's Millions connection this week!

Yeah, uh-oh.

That Maine actually got through the fourth inning scoreless was something of a feat, much like the feat that Mets pitchers pulled off this weekend of minimizing Albert Pujols' damage. Think about this for a second: Pujols was 2-for-14 this weekend with four walks. And the Mets dropped two out of three. That's like getting Shakira's phone number and transposing two of the digits while putting it in your cell.

But the fifth inning was Maine's undoing as a walk, single and Colby Rasmus' three run dinger put Maine out to pasture. And once Adam Wainwright found his groove against a lineup that featured Frank Catalanotto in the clean-up spot, you knew it was over. You weren't sure whether it would take 8 and a half innings via a Ryan Ludwick home run, or 24 innings after Blake Hawksworth no-hits them for nine innings after Tony La Russa says he's not available, but eventually the Mets were going to be toast. That I was happy the game wrapped up promptly so that I could catch the Sharks/Avalanche game is a distressing sign on my part.

In a related story, the lineup probably isn't going to feature Catalanotto in the clean-up spot much longer as the club is doing the deed and bringing up Ike Davis. Something tells me that the Mets actually wanted to keep Davis down and let him dominate AAA for a little while longer. But that the sorry state of first base combined with the desperation of the front office and coaching staff to keep their jobs has expedited the process. I'll admit it. The recent rushing of prospects has made me gun shy about bringing these guys up too soon. But at least Davis is a college product and he's 23. And by all accounts he's projected in that "very good to special" category. I hate that Chris Carter is never going to get a chance with the Mets, which means that the Billy Wagner trade is now officially botched forever dooming Carter to Val Pascucci status unless they can now find a trade partner for him. But if Ike Davis is ready, then this is the move to make ... even if it is for the wrong reasons.

If ... he's ready.

Ike Davis: "The Stimulus"

Now as long as Davis isn't brought up to fall victim to a straight platoon with Fernando Tatis or a Snoop Manuel quadruple switch, he'll be fine.

Jake And The Bat Man

I guess it was unreasonable to designate Mike Jacobs for assignment immediately after flying out against a middle infielder during last night's "Ulti-Met Classic" (maybe only for the pitchers). But apparently the Mets and I are on the same wavelength (and if that doesn't scare the hell out of you, then I don't know what will) as Jacobs has been designated for assignment. That assignment: learn how to raise his batting average against middle infielders (or: BAAM!).

Tobi Stoner gets the call as he'll probably be called on for extensive duty out of the pen with just about everyone needing a rest (Tom Gorman's arm got tired just watching that game.) Perhaps Snoop is comfortable with Alex Cora backing up Fernando Tatis at first base after Cora's dive into the stands last night (and if that doesn't scare the hell out of you, then I truly don't know what will). Or perhaps ...

Perhaps after Stoner returns to Buffalo there will be a spot for the Animal, Chris Carter ... especially if the Mets still want to be cautious with Ike Davis, which I would have no problem with. To me, Carter's presence on the roster allows you to treat Davis with kid gloves. We know Ike's time is coming. He deserves every chance to be prepared so when he does hit the majors, he hits the majors to stay.

And Carter deserves a chance to be a Met. Tomorrow. Make it happen.

It's A One Horse Race

Fernando Tatis really made an impression on Mets brass during Wednesday's spring training win over the Astros, when two straight fly balls hit by Tatis were dropped by Astros fielders, including Fielding Bible award winner Hunter Pence, leading to a key Mets run.

"It's like those balls he hit had buzzsaws on 'em man," said Mets manager Jerry Manuel. "Those balls he hit were some gritty ... it really takes a special kind of hitter to make those balls move like that to confuse the fielders. I think if he can do this a couple times a game like he did today, we'd really have a better chance to win on most nights."

And thus it was announced after the game that Tatis will start at first base this season. Omar Minaya subsequently announced that Daniel Murphy was traded to the Twins for Joe Mauer ... 's copy of MLB 2K10 for Wii of which he's on the cover (the trade had to be modified when Minaya realized that Mauer is actually on the cover of MLB The Show). And Ike Davis was traded to the Phillies for Ryan Howard, who was traded to the Cardinals for Albert Pujols, who was traded to the Yankees for Francisco Cervelli ... clearing the way for Tatis to be the Mets first baseman for the rest of your life and your afterlife. But don't worry, the Mets also announced that lasagna bolognese will be served in your personal hell, and those pesky birds will be redirected away from your food.*

*Outside of the two dropped fly balls this post is satire, in case you didn't figure it out by the time Omar traded the best player in baseball for a back-up catcher which, though plausible, actually didn't happen ... this time. Please come down off the ledge and have a Peking Duck Bun.

Knocking Tradition Off Its Axis

Apparently, the news of Jose Reyes' imminent return has sent the planet into a frenzy. Something isn't right. First, the Mets do something sensible and send Ike Davis to the minors for his final bit of seasoning ...

Then, the Mets change the name of the spring training stadium in the middle of a game, making poor Gary Cohen announce the name change in the middle innings which clearly distracted Sean Green into thinking he was at Tradition Field when he was actually at Digital Domain Park throwing his latest train wreck of an inning ...

But the best proof that the world has gone insane is that during Tuesday's game, Jeff Francoeur walked ...

Twice!

I know, I know, Reyes' return distracted damn near everyone. Especially Oliver Perez, who's Tuesday outing was so stellar he had to be rescued by some guy named Raul Valdez ... who wore number 96, had no name on his jersey, and had Cohen scrambling to execute a Google search for information on him.

Luckily, chasing Perez around Digital Domain Park with a bat to scare him into throwing strikes is considered a baseball related activity. So get to it, Jose. And scare the crap out of Pelfrey and Maine too while you're at it.

***

"If we have a crisis or something over there, I would have no problem with Ike Davis being part of a championship season." -Snoop

After which the champagne will taste really sweet, right?

(Bangs head against wall)

Animal Rakes, Blogger Bellyaches

All right, so we all know that "First Base/2010" is patchwork until Ike Davis is ready for the majors. Fine. And we also know that Daniel Murphy has the inside track. Maybe.

But how can you not have a spot for a guy nicknamed "Animal" on the Mets?

There's pros and cons to giving Chris Carter on the team. But what are the alternatives? How much more is Mike Jacobs going to give you than Chris Carter? Granted, Carter is less proven than Jacobs, as in Mike Jacobs has proven he can strike out a ton. What's the worst that can happen if Carter comes up? Even if he just backs up Murphy when it's all said and done?

And don't give me Fernando Tatis and having to wade through his fifty-eight double plays to get to the two grand slams he's going to hit.

My angle is that I want to see the Mets get some bang for their buck, so to speak, on that Billy Wagner trade as the Mets thought that Chris Carter and three million bucks (that went to Tatis and Kelvim Escobar) would be better for the franchise going forward than the two first round picks that the Red Sox got when Atlanta signed Country Time. Of course, any team that chooses cash considerations over re-investing in your farm system deserves to have the transaction bite them in the ass. But I don't. And as you know, it's all about me. So please just bring Carter up and make me happy until Ike Davis comes up in 2011 (or this May) and makes Chris Carter a mere footnote in the recesses of my mind.

Really, it doesn't get much better than "Animal".

***

Down about the lost chance for that second lefty? Or perhaps you're crying in your beer about Mike Pelfrey being about as useful as a batting tee against the Nationals. Well the best way to cheer up is to head yourself down to Two Boots Tavern at 7PM tonight for the first Amazin' Tuesday of 2010, hosted as always by Greg Prince of Faith and Fear in Flushing, and Jon Springer of Mets by the Numbers. There will be free beer in exchange for a Mets baseball card (as always), and you can get yourself a paperback copy of Greg's best selling book with a 2009 epilogue 10 bucks, which goes to the Tug McGraw Foundation. Pizza, beer, and philanthropy. You can't beat it ... not even if Chris Carter makes the Mets.

You've Got Questions, I Just Have More Questions

If Alex Cora was worth every penny of the $2.5 million the Mets paid him to be Jose Reyes insurance, then why would the Mets consider acquiring Cristian Guzman when it's time to cash in on the insurance policy?

Did Omar Minaya wake up and realize "Holy %$@#, we've gotta play Alex Cora every day!!!"

That's it, Rafael Santana's coming to camp to teach Ike Davis to play shortstop. Snoop loves the versatility anyway, so it works out.

And how is it that from January until know, I've completely forgotten that Josh Fogg was on the team?

Oh that's right, I remember now. He tried to slay a dragon and tweaked his side.

All other questions that I can't answer myself have been directed to your leader in WilVlog 3.0. Enjoy:



The Mascots just get angrier and angrier.

Cause Of Death: Oliver's Doughnut

It's official: Not even Sandy Koufax can help Oliver Perez.
Just when I was staring to feel good ... Ike Davis was raking, Jenrry Mejia's pitches were moving, Fernando Martinez hits two dingers against the Nats on Saturday ... here comes Perez to remind us that it does no good to have Davis and Martinez with the big club if they're going to do nothing but watch more Ollie gopher balls fly into the Pepsi Porch.

Perez made his long anticipated (long feared) spring debut, and gave up five runs in three innings. Would have been six if not for a Frenchy cannon from the outfield. Between this and Mike Pelfrey's not-so-hot outing on Saturday, the fear now is that the starting rotation is going to be a big giant doughnut. Great on the ends with Johan Santana and Niese/Nieve/Figueroa at five, who instill more confidence in me right now than Ollie/Little Pelf/John Maine who make up the jelly in the so-called middle. To me, Ollie's extremely lucky that Hisanori Takahashi had a stellar debut Sunday, or else instead of talking about Takahashi we'd be talking more about how the S.S. Metropolitan is sinking ... on March 7th.

But at least Oliver's throwing strikes. Great, except his strikes go faster the other way.

With Perez, it's a matter of choosing your demise. Will it be two to the back of the head (strikes)? Or will it be a million paper cuts (balls)? In any event you will die. And your death certificate will list Perez's linescore that particular night under "cause of death".

Turning On A Dime

I'm sure many of you were excited to see Gary Matthews Jr. hustle all the way to second on the wind blown base hit he had to lead off Thursday's game against St. Louis. And why wouldn't you be? It's that kind of hustle that has been magnified whenever the Mets showed a lack of it on the basepaths for the last few seasons, or when their opponents hustle to cap off horrible Mets losses to be replayed on YES until the end of time (see: Teixeira, Mark).

So when The Corporal busted it to second, you got a little giddy. I don't blame you.

Now, those of you who admitted you were giddy ... you were the same people who were more giddy later in the day when you found out the Reds had some interest in Matthews, weren't you? Ah? Ah? Come on, admit it. I'll admit it. I was one of those people too.

Well here's your wet blanket: The Reds have denied the allegations ... swiftly and emphatically. They didn't even use the word "investigate" five times in the same sentence. Though they did mention five other outfielders they would rather have than Corporal. No truth to the rumor that one of them was Moises Alou.

***

On another note completely, I've seen Ike Davis get two hits, including Thursday's grand slam. You know when you're hungover, and some idiot decides it's a good idea to slam his books on the table and normally it wouldn't bother you but you're hungover and your idiot friend's books sound like the bass drum playing the 1812 Overture? Yeah, that's what those Ike Davis hits sound like.

Buffalo's going to be really good this year (cough ... don't rush him ... cough).

***

In close to five years doing this, I've never typed the name "Kiko Calero" in this space. Now that he's a Met, I'm sure this isn't going to be the last time. The key will be: What will I type after "Kiko Calero"? Will it be "big strikeout"? Or will it be ... "James Andrews"?

Voodoo Dolls, Mongolian Barbecue, And The Collective "You" (With A Drizzle Of Liquid Concrete)

Bringing Fernando Tatis back, no matter how he may or may not help the Mets in 2010, is further proof that this is a regime that will never get out of his own way.

Forget that Nick Evans just threw away his Tatis voodoo doll (it obviously doesn't work.) But consider the following which Mack Ade crystallizes for us:

• Instead of keeping Billy Wagner, offering arbitration, and getting two first round picks when Wagner goes to chase the closer's job he wasn't getting in New York, the Mets trade him to the Red Sox for Chris Carter ... a AAAA power hitting first baseman ... and in the process save over two million bucks.
• Then, the Mets take most of that two million dollars and give it to Tatis to play first base. With Ike Davis most likely hitting Queens in 2011, they've basically insured that Carter, their big haul from the Wagner trade, will never spend any significant time with the New York Mets. They've also proven that their main concern with the Wagner trade was to save money ... and they didn't even do that right.

Don't worry. Maybe one day, the Mets will actually catch their tail. And maybe Carter and Val Pascucci can trade depressing stories over poker and Mongolian barbecue. Hopefully, they will save a seat for Evans and Craig Brazell at the table. And maybe they'll all flip on the Mets game in their hotel room and watch Wagner get Tatis to ground into a 4-6-3 double play to end a ballgame.

I ask you, as in the collective you, because the collective you is smarter than the collective me. What would you rather do ... spend $2.5 million on Corporal Matthews and $1.5 million (with incentives) on Fernando Tatis, or take that money and put it towards the two draft picks you would have gotten for Wagner, and just gone with Pagan in center and Murphy or Carter at first, hence start to think future while banking on the fragile present such as Reyes, Beltran and Santana to keep your head above water?

To me, Corporal is a waste of money no matter how much the Angels kick in, and while Tatis is okay (especially at a base of $800,000) outside of the odd double play or two or thirteen, he represents the Same Old Mets with the emphasis on "old" (Seems that "Same Old" label has gone from the Jets to the Mets in much the same way that Youppi went from the Expos to the Canadiens). And in the end he's pointless simply because you're waiting for Ike Davis anyway. So that's $3.3-4 million on anywhere from fair to poor instead of that money invested in the potential for great. It isn't like Matthews and Tatis are the final pieces to the puzzle ... they're merely expensive fixes for the leaks in the dam. It's like paying for liquid concrete when Mighty Putty is really all you need.

And if Corporal's UZR declines any further, I guarantee you liquid concrete will be the first think that comes to your mind as you watch another fly ball fall harmlessly to the ground.

What Have You Learned? Omar Minaya

What Have You Learned is our very special off-season series that will outline what you've learned, what I've learned, and hopefully what the 2009 Mets have learned about themselves, others, and 2010. Today, we look at everyone's least favorite person with everyone's favorite job: Omar Minaya.

Remember how easy it used to be to get a t-shirt that said "In Omar We Trust"? Now they're about as readily available as those Patriots 19-0 gold coins ... and worth about as much.

It's gotta be tough to be Minaya these days. He's the very definition of lame duck ... between his people getting fired around him, hiring new people who could possibly replace him (and I wonder whether Minaya was "encouraged" to do this), and having reports pop up that the only reason you have your job is because of the extension you signed, I'd say that would make a man feel quite inadequate. Good thing he's in the sports business, where there's no shortage of advice for that kind of thing.

What has Omar Minaya learned? Hopefully, how to choose his battles more wisely.

What must he learn for 2010? Unfortunately, he's going to have to learn how to be somebody he's not. Look, I think Minaya is a good GM ... but not for what this franchise needs. His strengths, being able to sign the big fish being paramount among them, was something the Mets desperately needed after the 2004 season when they badly needed an infusion of star power. The Mets don't need that now. They have enough stars. They need a GM who knows how to construct a roster 1-25. Minaya has proven that's not a strength for him. most egregiously with the Darren O'Day debacle (yeah, that still bothers me). But if he's going to keep his job past this season, he's going to have to make it a strength.

Is that fair? Absolutely not. I'm not a fan of putting people in a position to fail. When you start firing people to "send messages", you get away from the mission statement. Now who the %#$* knows what the Mets mission statement is, but what they seem to be doing is trying to "light a fire" under Minaya. The problem is that you can light a fire to make somebody hustle, or give more effort. But pressure doesn't make you smarter. School makes you smarter. And Minaya graduated Newtown High School way back in 1978. If there's something he didn't pick up before then, it's not coming.

But he's got one chance to fix this. I don't know if that's possible in one season. Problems like the Mets have get fixed from the ground up, and that takes years. Maybe Minaya can do what he does best and go after the best free agents out there, whom to me are Matt Holliday (NLDS Game 2 error not withstanding) and John Lackey. But that's going to be rough. Holliday would have to do what few do, and that's play in St. Louis for a half a season then actually leave ... since players love being there. Lackey? I see him either staying in Anaheim or going home to Texas, so Omar might be chasing his tail on both of them. With the rest of the free agent market lukewarm at best, Omar is going to have to change course and try something else.

Maybe that draft class from 2008 which includes Ike Davis and Reese Havens will be confirm Minaya's skills as a builder. But who knows if and when the Mets can reap those grains? Maybe Chris Carter will be a good first step, but that's assuming he makes the club. Minaya's best chances to fix this might not contribute until after he's gone. Since much of his staff will be starting from scratch, is there really a chance to make meaningful improvements in one season?

You want to fix it this year? Well, that might involve mortgaging some future, and that's what makes a lame duck dangerous, getting rid of future to save his job today. Here's the two edges to this sword: A: People say you have no future in your farm system ... and that's part of what needs fixing with this organization. But B: Omar says that's overblown, that there are some pieces that other teams want. All right, prove it. Make a trade for Derrek Lee if that's the case. Make a trade for Dan Uggla and Jeremy Hermida and give Florida more salary relief if that's the case. Make a trade for Doc Halladay if that's the case.

I don't know what the exact answer is. But if you want to fix this, maybe a good way to start is to watch a replay of the Tigers/Twins playoff, where you'll see two teams with talent up and down the roster, not to mention the balls to trust that talent when it mattered most. (You'll also see a team who won said playoff game where the winning pitcher was a guy you released in '05 ... probably to make room for Julio Franco or Juan Marichal or Juan Marichal's grandmother on the 40 man roster.)

Maybe a good way to start is to not waste roster spots on broken heroes on a last chance power drive. Don't even think about giving Gary Sheffield another season. I don't care what kind of numbers he put up, his signing was a mistake. Nick Evans' lost season was probably due in no small part because of Sheffield's signing pushing him to the minors and starting him on the abyss. Were 10 HR's and 43 RBI's worth that? Hopefully, Evans will be a viable option on the bench next season (heaven knows that Snoop Manuel made him familiar on the bench in September), along with Carter, and maybe Hermida if you trade for him. They can't be any worse than Fernando Tatis and his band of empty bench spots as the Mets played the whole season with anywhere from 23-19 players.

Maybe another way to start would be to take a chance on Miguel Cabrera, as the Tigers might try to trade him after his escapades during the last weekend of the season. Now, notice I didn't say that it would be another "good" way to start. Sure, while you wouldn't get him cheap, you might be able to get him at a slightly reduced rate. But if you want to change the entitlement that the locker room has been accused of having, Cabrera would be the absolute worst option you could choose. I know it's tempting, but now that the Mets are on a streak of sweeping final series, the last thing the Mets need is a lazy problem child who goes on benders and tells kids they're fat after once being as big as an El Dorado.

Other than that, have at it. Go forth and fix the team, somehow someway. Just go against everything you've ever been taught about how to run a team. Easy, right? Figure out what you've learned, Omar. Then forget all of it.

Ker-Plunk

Think of it this way: Scott Schoeneweis did everyone a favor.

When you're staring down the barrel of a 1-1 game with the San Diego Padres in the ninth, you know that dealing with this team that can't score that if you go to the tenth inning, you're most likely going to the 18th ... or the 22nd. And you can't re-introduce Abraham Nunez to the major leagues with a 30-inning ballgame after he spent the last six weeks riding buses ... because that's not fair. So rather than put Nunez, and us fans, through a long, riveting at-bat showcasing the very crux of baseball's battle of wits between pitcher and batter ... rather than build up the very drama that makes baseball great, Scott Schoeneweis gave us all the equivalent of that brain freeze you get by eating ice cream too fast by hitting Paul McAnulty with his first pitch with the bases loaded to sent everybody home. Not happy, but rested. And that works for the greater good.

Besides, the Mets kinda didn't deserve to win anyway ... what with their five measly hits off of Josh Banks (who hadn't given up a run in his first three starts of the season before tonight which didn't shake Gary Cohen's firm belief that the Mets would come into San Diego with such ferocity against their staff that every pet in Petco Park would be let loose) and their bagel against the bullpen which included Heath Bell ... who surely is in the Padres locker room laughing his ass off right now. So why draw out what really should have been a loss anyway?

(Editor's note: Mike Pelfrey gets so little run support that he's becoming that employee that always arrives to the conference room late when there's pizza on the table, and all that's left is the pie with all those vegetables on it that nobody eats so Pelfrey just skips it and starves.)

So you think you're pissed now? Imagine losing 2-1 in 43 innings instead of the regulation nine? Don't think it's not possible with these two teams ... especially with Abraham Nunez on the bench instead of ... say ... Ike Davis.