Friendly Reminders And Bird Poop

I'm not here to push the panic button. Not on April 8th. But know that it's always close by.

It's close by because of the reminders we received on April 7th.

Reminder number one: John Maine is your second starter.

You know, maybe John Lackey wouldn't have come to New York even if Omar Minaya/Jeff Wilpon did give him the hard sell. Most likely, it was Boston or bust for Lackey regardless of what Minaya came with. I understand this, trust me. But when I see Maine reach the 60 pitch count in the third inning with only about half of the chucks being strikes while checking the scoreboard and seeing that Lackey is twirling six shutout innings against the Yankees, I want to do my Maine imitation and puke.

Reminder number two: Jenrry Mejia is twenty years old.

He's not ready. He's not ready. He's not ready. I'll hold to that like a warm blanket. But if even he is ready ... are sixth inning appearances down by three runs what we have to look forward to? Is this why Snoop and Omar rushed him and his 97 mph fastball? To get hit hard by the bottom of the Marlins lineup to mop up after the latest starting pitching fiasco?

Reminder number three: Sean Green is no Chad Bradford.

Chad Bradford went through 62 innings in 2006 only giving up one home run as a Met. Of course it was a walk-off, but that's a small detail. Sean Green's Chad Bradford imitation only needed two batters to give up his first home run of the season. Yeah, this submariney thing is going to work out just fine.

Reminder number four: Sometimes, irony is not your friend.

Snoop liked Hisanori Takahashi because he threw strikes. What does he do in his major league debut in the tenth inning? Go 2-0 on Wes Helms, of course. Then goes 2-1 on a batter who's trying to bunt Wes Helms over before taking the loss in the tenth. Even when the Mets do the right thing, the dice come up snake eyes.

And even when the Mets shake off a wild pitch that results in the third out of the seventh inning while David Wright was up with the bases loaded (on a questionable baserunning play by Fernando Tatis, it should be noted for posterity) to come back and tie the game in the eighth, the Mets roll craps. Think about this: the team wasted a Jeff Francoeur walk during the eighth inning rally after being down 0-2. A Jeff Francoeur walk!!! His second of the season! Although I have to tell you, Frenchy walking is kinda reminiscent of an acid trip.


Yeah, kinda like that.

Maybe Frenchy has two walks because he finally realized that they do, in fact, put your OBP on the scoreboard.


Hey, whatever works.

Speaking of working, here's something that's not working: that bird misting thing they're trying.

Bird Doctor was contacted by Citi Field as a proactive measure to prevent birds such as pigeons from taking up residence in the new stadium. Installing the new Bird Control Misting system will help keep maintenance costs down, while maintaining the overall appearance and cleanliness of the stadium. Maintenance costs can soar if weekly cleanup of bird droppings is required; bird droppings are unsightly and can transmit disease.

Umm, well check out what diseases I saw transmitted tonight (besides the ones I contracted from watching the ten inning debacle) ...



Y'know it's not like the Mets don't have enough problems with the human doctors ... the bird doctors aren't going to cooperate either?

As Opposed To, A Belly Itcher?

"I think one day I'd like to become an actual pitcher." -Mike Pelfrey, a pitcher

Aah, to be young and have dreams. I myself would like to be an actual blogger. You know, the kind that actually blogs and not just spews a lot of crap like I do now. Or maybe the kind who goes viral and turns his random spews into a television show. One day ... one day.

Though I'm not sure what to think about Pelfrey dreaming about the betterment of his world while watching a movie about the world's end, the process must work on some level since he took his new continental landscape to the Red Sox on Wednesday. Pelfrey bounced back from his last battle with Boston to throw four innings of one run ball, which is a perfectly acceptable step forward.

I'd like to say something on the record ...

(Hey, stupid! Everything you say is on the record ... it's called THE INTERNET!!!)

I guess that's why I'll never be a real blogger. But I want to say something that's more on the record than most things I say because I'm going to give you a high hope: Ready? Here goes:

I'm betting on Mike Pelfrey to bounce back this season.

I figure the odds are with us on that one. We've got three pitchers in the middle of the rotation who are on a downswing. Odds are one of them has to surprise the hell out of us in a good way just by the law of averages. I mean, look at Generation K. One of them turned out to have a decent major league career (unless you count Paul Wilson's 40-58 record as decent). It's the law of averages ... one out of three, slightly better than Anderson Hernandez's slugging percentage (good luck there, Cleveland ... I'm sure we'll get him back by August anyway).

Pelfrey, Oliver Perez, and John Maine aren't Generation K. More like Generation A.D.D. I've gotta pick one of them to bounce back and be useful (and frankly, if that happens I'd be ecstatic, considering how John Lackey's performing this spring ... Omar!) John Maine? Not after his string of injuries, and certainly not after his "I wasn't into it" quote. That sounds like something I said after getting a 54 on a Physics quiz in high school.

Oliver Perez? Don't get me started. "But Metstradamus, he had four hitless innings against the Tigers! Where's the love?" I want to see Oliver Perez toss that kind of ball all spring before I even think about falling under his hypnosis, only to be jarred out of it by 8 runs in 1 and 2/3's by "Bad Ollie". Then, I want to see him carry it over into the regular season and go at least six innings every start before I rush out to get my cream colored Perez jersey. And let's just say I'm not setting my money aside.

Pelfrey? He's the one ... the one who had the great half-season without being in the middle of a contract year. Of course he's also the one who easily gets distracted with pick-off moves, balks, and shiny objects like jingling keys. But that's why he's the leader of Generation A.D.D. And as the leader he's the one that needs to set an example. Besides, worrying about secondary pitches means less time worrying about how many runs he's going to balk home in a single game. So he's the one. 17-10. Law of averages.

National Disaster

Would Jason Marquis have been the be-all end-all of the Mets return to glory in 2010? Most likely not. Would he have been a small part of the solution when in tandem with other smart acquisitions? Maybe. Should the fact that Marquis signed with the Nationals give you cause to pull your hair out of your head?

It should. Not so much because Marquis going to the Washington Nationals makes them favorites to win the N.L. East ... he doesn't. Not so much because he's going to win 21 games for Washington ... he's not. But if you're a Met fan, the following quote from Jason Marquis should give you convulsions:

"I want to play for a team that is headed in the right direction and making the moves that is necessary to get themselves back to being a winning organization. Some of the moves the Nationals have made -- like [signing Stephen Strasburg] signing Pudge [Ivan Rodriguez] and getting [Brian Bruney] -- they are making the necessary steps. I feel I can fit right in and bring a winning attitude to the team." -Jason Marquis

Now, if Marquis has signed with Washington, or somewhere else for that matter, for the three seasons at $10 million per that he was looking for before, then you really couldn't blame the Mets for passing. But you mean to tell me that a team that missed out on John Lackey with the rotation deficiencies that the Mets have couldn't pony up two seasons at $15 million total for a guy who has been putting up neon signs over his head all year that he wanted to come to New York? Marquis was practically wearing a giant Statue of Liberty head to the mound in Colorado, and they couldn't snag him at that price? And not only that, they lost him to one of the few teams below them in the standings because they, of all things, have a plan and are "headed in the right direction"?

Think about that as Jason Bay is hoping that the Elmjack little leaguers can raise about $61 million in sales of Nestle Crunch bars so that he can have another option ... any option ... other than the Mets.

How'd All These Eggs Get In This One Basket?

So even if the Mets do wind up with Jason Bay, their off season might already pale in comparison to that of the Red Sox, who just signed John Lackey ... and that of the Mariners and Phillies, who just completed a three team blockbuster where the Phillies get Doc Halladay and the Mariners get Cliff Lee.

But the Mets don't have Jason Bay yet. So ask yourself the following:

• Even if the Mets get Bay, does it matter? Does the Phillies getting Halladay put the division out of reach anyway? Because you know the Mets would have to do a lot more roster construction than Bay to come within sniffing distance of Philadelphia.
• If the Mets don't get Bay, how embarrassing would it be to see the Mariners land two top players (assuming it's the M's that get Bay) and the Mets get none?
• If the Mets don't get Bay, should they just turn tail, call 2010 a wash, and keep the draft picks they would have spent on marginal Type A free agents? (Yeah, I'm looking at you, Bengie ... I don't care if you weren't offered arbitration and wouldn't cost a pick as an astute fan pointed out ... thanks Metsfan23 ... but you're still marginal. And old. Stop staring at me.)

Ask yourself those hard questions ... and try not to spiral into a disastrous funk as you're eating nothing but rocky road ice cream for seven days. I leave you with this:

"You thank the fans by trying to make the team better" -Randy Wolf during today's Brewers news conference

Remember Omar, there's more than one way to do that ... even if it costs you your job. And face it, your job is pretty much out the window anyway.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to check if there's any ice cream in the freezer.

If The Juggernaut So Chooses

"You mean, Jeff Wilpon hasn't gone all Pacman Jones on Indianapolis and made it rain all over the Marriott yet?"

Oh good, Scott "Prince of Darkness" Boras has gotten a look at the Mets finances, apparently.

Scott Boras, who represents outfielder Matt Holliday, called the Mets a financial "juggernaut" Wednesday, citing their television network, SNY; their new ballpark, Citi Field; and their location in the New York market.

"Their revenues are in the top three or four in baseball," Boras said. "The New York Mets have a lot of choices, and the Wilpon family is very successful. Sure, the Mets can sign any player they want to sign if they so choose to."

If they so choose to. Sounds like famous last words to me. Or, it sounds like the screws have been tightened just a bit further ... if not by Boras, then by Randy Wolf's new Brewers contract, convincing the Mets that maybe they spend a little bit more to get more quality. I know, I know, paying for quality is a lost art on this planet. But perhaps the evidence may be pointing to the next Cristal party in Indianapolis being on the tab of Jeff Wilpon.

If he so chooses to (shudder).

Negativity? Here's Where To Find Some

One of my favorite Mets blogs had this to say a while back:

"I just can't believe how negative some Mets fans have become, scouring the blogosphere I've seen nothing but negative comments about how the Mets are handling the off-season."-Mets Fever

What Ed says is interesting because it's something I investigate in myself from time to time. Currently, I'm spending long chunks of time in deep meditation with the help of some mind altering drugs in far away caves (code for "too busy playing Bejeweled"). Seriously, it's a daily struggle not to turn this blog into the Rego Park version of "Hey You Kids, Get Off My Lawn". And if the Mets wouldn't give me so much material, maybe I'd be a bit friendlier and more optimistic.

But I'm trying. For example, here's how low my standards have gotten: The Mets signed Mike Hessman today. If Mike Hessman came up to me and hit me in the head with a baseball bat, I wouldn't know who he was. Then again, if Mike Hessman came up to me and hit me in the head with a baseball bat, I'd be happy just because he made contact (he's a .229 career minor league hitter). And, he's 32 years old. For the Mets, that's a youth movement.

But negativity is unavoidable this off-season, no matter what. Forget what has happened the last three seasons. Forget that this fan base is generally angry. Forget that my seminal moment in person with the Mets this season was turned into a Washington Nationals Christmas card (my constant heckling of the team immediately after this game did not make the card ... now that would have been a Christmas greeting.) But any direction the Mets go, whether it's an actual direction or whether it's just going around in a circle chasing your tail, has negativity involved.

Here are some of the options this off season:

• First tier: Holliday, Lackey, Bay, Hudson
• Second tier: Pineiro, Molina, Wolf, Torrealba, Marquis
• Trades: Hart, Bradley, Phillips, Harang, Matthews, Burrell, Halladay
• The Caulking Gun Strategy: Blanco, Hessman

Now the best case scenario for the Mets would be the Pu Pu Platter Approach ... one from each column. Ideally, it's the only scenario. Realistically, the Mets are going to be that guy from the Toyota commercial left without a car during the Dealathon, yet there's nobody there to tell them that there's more cars in the back. The ideal approach would require imaginative thinking that, frankly, I don't think this organization has. Certainly not the type of thinking and guts that brought a certain other team in town Curtis Granderson. Hell, this team's idea of imaginative thinking is changing the pinstriped uniform from white to cream. They can't even come up with good ideas for ticket plans before Christmas, so why should I accept a multi pronged approach to player personnel? Walking and chewing gum at the same time would be a good first step.

My ultimate point is this: even the best case scenario for this off-season isn't without its risks. It's not like 2007-08 when there was one end game for off season success in Johan Santana, or even last season when, even though the Mets had a few holes, the bullpen was by far the leakiest faucet. Whatever the Mets do, whether it be sign either Holliday, Bay, Lackey or Hudson and risk that their best days aren't behind them, sign Pineiro or Wolf and risk a drop in production, trade for Hart, Phillips/Harang or Matthews and risk the player they trade away become a superstar, or trade for Burrell and risk having to send a search party to find him in left field sometime during the sixth inning, nothing this winter is a slam dunk.

But that's not to give the Mets an out here. Conversely, this is the type of off-season where the Mets have to show the imagination they've rarely shown or even had to have shown. For example, that John Maine for Corey Hart rumored deal shows some of that. But if you're going to tell Met fans that Corey Hart, and not Bay or Holliday is their left fielder, you had better also tell them that one of the dominoes that need to fall for that deal to happen is John Lackey, or else the negativity is going to be out in full force, rather than the half force that you would get if you just signed, say, Bay and Lackey.

But hell, even Bay, Lackey and Holliday each have their question marks, whether it be an ability to navigate the Citi outfield, or being injury prone. But the biggest question mark would be whether it's worth it to spend big for 2010 when, let's be honest, the Phillies are still pretty much going to dominate the division, while bigger free agents are on the horizon for 2011 and beyond.

So whatever happens, it's going to be hard not to be somewhat negative. The only question is how much so. Are the Mets going to make the risky yet bold moves? Are they going to do just enough to throw out the mirage of competitiveness? Or am I going to have to gently tell the neighborhood Christmas carolers to get off my lawn?

A Step Behind

All right, so we're mere hours into the off-season, so let's kick it off by being impatient. It's so "New York Cliche" to be impatient, but I'm embracing it.

How can I help it? Already we've heard that the Mets are scared off by Aroldis Chapman's asking price, scared off by John Lackey's asking price, and have already missed out on two players widely thought to be potential parts of the Mets renaissance: Mark Teahen (to the White Sox) and Jeremy Hermida (to the Red Sox). With Carlos Delgado filing for free agency, maybe making a move for an upgrade at first base would have helped. Or, maybe Hermida would have been an option in left field, or as a better fourth outfielder option than whatever next season's 35-year-old flavor of the month might be. But I guess that's why Omar Minaya makes the big bucks getting Jeff Wilpon coffee while I just spew crap here in this space.

If the modus operandi of this team is truly going to change, then apparently it has to be done quick. Because even after one day without baseball, teams seem to be proactive in filling holes while the Mets have already stumbled out of the gate. Maybe the Mets do have a plan in mind. Maybe it does involve Lackey and/or Chapman, and everything we've heard from the media is a Mets induced smokescreen to hide a better plan.

I hope there's a better plan. And I hope they're right.

***

For those who wonder why I don't "support the Yankees for my city because I'm a New Yorker" or root for the Yankees because in 1986 Yankee fans "rooted for the Mets against the Red Sox", I bring you Carol Hirsch.

Carol Hirsch, 50, of Fair Lawn bought two sweatshirts, three T-shirts and a pennant for herself and her boyfriend. Part of it, she said, was to show her pride in her favorite team.

"And to stick it to Mets fans," she added. "We have a lot of friends who are Mets fans."

Check, and mate.

What Have You Learned? Omar Minaya

What Have You Learned is our very special off-season series that will outline what you've learned, what I've learned, and hopefully what the 2009 Mets have learned about themselves, others, and 2010. Today, we look at everyone's least favorite person with everyone's favorite job: Omar Minaya.

Remember how easy it used to be to get a t-shirt that said "In Omar We Trust"? Now they're about as readily available as those Patriots 19-0 gold coins ... and worth about as much.

It's gotta be tough to be Minaya these days. He's the very definition of lame duck ... between his people getting fired around him, hiring new people who could possibly replace him (and I wonder whether Minaya was "encouraged" to do this), and having reports pop up that the only reason you have your job is because of the extension you signed, I'd say that would make a man feel quite inadequate. Good thing he's in the sports business, where there's no shortage of advice for that kind of thing.

What has Omar Minaya learned? Hopefully, how to choose his battles more wisely.

What must he learn for 2010? Unfortunately, he's going to have to learn how to be somebody he's not. Look, I think Minaya is a good GM ... but not for what this franchise needs. His strengths, being able to sign the big fish being paramount among them, was something the Mets desperately needed after the 2004 season when they badly needed an infusion of star power. The Mets don't need that now. They have enough stars. They need a GM who knows how to construct a roster 1-25. Minaya has proven that's not a strength for him. most egregiously with the Darren O'Day debacle (yeah, that still bothers me). But if he's going to keep his job past this season, he's going to have to make it a strength.

Is that fair? Absolutely not. I'm not a fan of putting people in a position to fail. When you start firing people to "send messages", you get away from the mission statement. Now who the %#$* knows what the Mets mission statement is, but what they seem to be doing is trying to "light a fire" under Minaya. The problem is that you can light a fire to make somebody hustle, or give more effort. But pressure doesn't make you smarter. School makes you smarter. And Minaya graduated Newtown High School way back in 1978. If there's something he didn't pick up before then, it's not coming.

But he's got one chance to fix this. I don't know if that's possible in one season. Problems like the Mets have get fixed from the ground up, and that takes years. Maybe Minaya can do what he does best and go after the best free agents out there, whom to me are Matt Holliday (NLDS Game 2 error not withstanding) and John Lackey. But that's going to be rough. Holliday would have to do what few do, and that's play in St. Louis for a half a season then actually leave ... since players love being there. Lackey? I see him either staying in Anaheim or going home to Texas, so Omar might be chasing his tail on both of them. With the rest of the free agent market lukewarm at best, Omar is going to have to change course and try something else.

Maybe that draft class from 2008 which includes Ike Davis and Reese Havens will be confirm Minaya's skills as a builder. But who knows if and when the Mets can reap those grains? Maybe Chris Carter will be a good first step, but that's assuming he makes the club. Minaya's best chances to fix this might not contribute until after he's gone. Since much of his staff will be starting from scratch, is there really a chance to make meaningful improvements in one season?

You want to fix it this year? Well, that might involve mortgaging some future, and that's what makes a lame duck dangerous, getting rid of future to save his job today. Here's the two edges to this sword: A: People say you have no future in your farm system ... and that's part of what needs fixing with this organization. But B: Omar says that's overblown, that there are some pieces that other teams want. All right, prove it. Make a trade for Derrek Lee if that's the case. Make a trade for Dan Uggla and Jeremy Hermida and give Florida more salary relief if that's the case. Make a trade for Doc Halladay if that's the case.

I don't know what the exact answer is. But if you want to fix this, maybe a good way to start is to watch a replay of the Tigers/Twins playoff, where you'll see two teams with talent up and down the roster, not to mention the balls to trust that talent when it mattered most. (You'll also see a team who won said playoff game where the winning pitcher was a guy you released in '05 ... probably to make room for Julio Franco or Juan Marichal or Juan Marichal's grandmother on the 40 man roster.)

Maybe a good way to start is to not waste roster spots on broken heroes on a last chance power drive. Don't even think about giving Gary Sheffield another season. I don't care what kind of numbers he put up, his signing was a mistake. Nick Evans' lost season was probably due in no small part because of Sheffield's signing pushing him to the minors and starting him on the abyss. Were 10 HR's and 43 RBI's worth that? Hopefully, Evans will be a viable option on the bench next season (heaven knows that Snoop Manuel made him familiar on the bench in September), along with Carter, and maybe Hermida if you trade for him. They can't be any worse than Fernando Tatis and his band of empty bench spots as the Mets played the whole season with anywhere from 23-19 players.

Maybe another way to start would be to take a chance on Miguel Cabrera, as the Tigers might try to trade him after his escapades during the last weekend of the season. Now, notice I didn't say that it would be another "good" way to start. Sure, while you wouldn't get him cheap, you might be able to get him at a slightly reduced rate. But if you want to change the entitlement that the locker room has been accused of having, Cabrera would be the absolute worst option you could choose. I know it's tempting, but now that the Mets are on a streak of sweeping final series, the last thing the Mets need is a lazy problem child who goes on benders and tells kids they're fat after once being as big as an El Dorado.

Other than that, have at it. Go forth and fix the team, somehow someway. Just go against everything you've ever been taught about how to run a team. Easy, right? Figure out what you've learned, Omar. Then forget all of it.