Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Gold Shift

You want yet another reason to hate the Yankees? Even their good luck thongs are gold.

Sure, Jason Giambi might have the golden thong, but as the Mets are the team of the people, they would never be caught dead in fancy schmancy gold thongs. For example, Luis Castillo's luck comes from a ratty old thong he borrows intermittently from some stripper named Diamond*. And that good luck charm was instrumental in Castillo's 40 foot grass hugger giving the Mets the lead for good in their game against the Yankees on Saturday.

(Side note: Castillo will miss the Sunday night game against the Yankees with what the club calls "general itchiness".)**

But here's what I don't understand: If Carlos Delgado has a shift, why don't teams employ a shift on Luis Castillo? It would look something like this:

Oh well. If teams aren't going to respect the prodigious swinging bunts and awe-striking Texas leaguers, then those same teams are going to continue to pay the price as the Yankees did today.

*Luis Castillo wearing a thong is a mere rumor that has been floating around the blog-o-sphere that I cannot confirm.**

**All right, all right. I made it up. And I made up the Castillo itchiness story too. Jeez, you guys are no fun.


Gonzo said...

Yahoo lists Giambi as 6'3" and 235 pounds. So if you are wondering: Yes, MLB makes a gold thong that fits a very large MAN.

Anonymous said...

Please, God, make the mental images go away.

katherine said...

The most disquieting aspect of the Yankee thong exposé is the mystery surrounding the issue of whether the thong gets washed in between uses. If you'd like I could research a list of the possible bacteria and viruses one could get from sharing thongs? Haha, only kidding. I dearly love indulging in shoddy and biased baseball-related research, but I will let that pass today, as I am busy getting ready to go to tonight's game!

Dressed in full Mets regalia, my Lassie-League glove in hand, I prepare to enter enemy territory.

Metstradamus, we watched yesterday's game at The Blind Pig, as you suggested, and it was great. Thanks for the advice.

Unser said...

That was your best photo shop work by far. You sure those infield guys aren't playing too deep?

Was at the game yesterday? Beltran looked great at bat and in the field. I see a big hot streak coming, sans the thong.

Toasty Joe said...

Man, that thong must smell like grim death.

MetsFan said...

Just imagine the stains that you would find on that thong--both front and back.