Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Some Jokes Just Write Themselves

Everybody's favorite Mets wife is at it again:

"Anna Benson, the outrageous wife of Mets pitcher Kris Benson, raised a whole lotta hell in Las Vegas last weekend. The buxom former stripper was ejected from the World Series of Poker at the Rio on Saturday for excessive cursing. After serving a 10-minute penalty for dropping the "f-bomb," a violation of tournament rules, Benson returned and asked her dealer, "Does that mean I can't say any other word? I can say c**t, p***y and c***k, but I can't say f***k?" Benson, whose $10,000 entrance fee was sponsored by pokerblue.com, was immediately booted from the game."

In a related story, Metstradamus was ejected from his apartment by his wife for uttering similar words after the Mets blew a 5-1 lead on Friday night.


Fernando Martinez must be pretty good, or else the Mets would not have given him a $1.4 million signing bonus. Martinez is also 16 years old. So imagine my delight when this was said about him:

"Martinez is a left-handed power hitter who possesses all five tools necessary to be considered a potential star in the major leagues. “Fernando is amazing. He has power, he makes contact, he has a great arm, speed and he can field. He possesses the five tools to become a great star,” said Ezequiel Sepulveda, a scout from the Dodgers who followed Martinez for months. A scout from the Boston Red Sox said that Martinez looks like a young Ted Williams."

Darryl Strawberry was the black Ted Williams.

Alex Ochoa had five tools.

And don't get me started on Shawn Abner (right).

But it's good to know that Martinez has a fall back plan:

"Even with his lucrative deal, Martinez said he wants to attend college and study business administration. The Mets included $100,000 to pay for his studies as part of the package."

Great. He'll be the next Billy Beane.


And my take on the whole Kenny Rogers situation from tonight's all-star game:

NOW you throw a strike to Andruw Jones.

Thanks a lot, meat!


michael o. said...

In fairness to Staw...he was a Hall of Fame talent. While not Teddy Ballgame, dude was good.

I love Anna Benson.

Metstradamus said...

Straw did have that kind of talent, for sure. I did lump him in with a couple of busts so I probably should have expanded. I only used Strawberry as an example of how the mountain of Ted Williams is a HUGE one to climb...even if Strawberry didn't waste any of his talent, that's a dangerous tag to put on someone so young. I don't think that kind of expectation did Darryl any good.

I'm glad that there are more realistic expectations out there for Martinez as you posted. I just cringe when I hear "5-tool player" for someone that young, because you can never be too sure. Alex Escobar was another player that had the "5-tool" tag (there's a trade that worked out for nobody).

As for Anna, she also got kicked out of the Bellagio when she was in Vegas because she wanted to take her dog in to eat too. She's definitely a bird of a different color.

Anonymous said...

I predict, as brother of the Great Metstradamus, that the Metsies will finish at 83-79.

What say you, brother of mine, seer of things unseeable?

Metstradamus said...

I say that "seer" rhymes with "beer", oh mighty brother.

I predicted a range of 83-87 wins at the beginning of the season (pre-blog). So it's quite eerie that you say 83. It's like we're twins...except for the fact that you're older and hairier.