Saturday, October 08, 2005

My Yankee Killer

The winner...and still champion of Yankee killers: Randy Johnson.

When the historians look back on game 3 of the 2005 ALDS (and they aren't going to because historians have this funny habit of only looking back and writing HBO specials about Yankee wins), they'll see that Aaron Small took the loss.

But we all know better.

Johnson is a Yankee killer...even with the Yankees, he's a Yankee killer. His performance in the 2001 World Series against the Yankees should have gone down as one of the greatest pitching performances in any playoff series...ever! But those pesky historians at HBO and at the YES network have a problem admitting that the Diamondbacks won that series. Derek Jeter, not Johnson or Luis Gonzalez, got the monacre "Mr. November" after his Game 4-winning home run.

But it was Johnson that won three games, including Game 6 as a starter and Game 7 as a reliever, to win the 2001 World Series, and he shared the MVP with Curt Schilling (which I have to say was a slight injustice to the job Randy did).

But after his complete tank job in Game 3 of the 2005 ALDS, I don't just love Randy Johnson because he's a future hall of fame pitcher who brought the Diamonbacks to glory against the Yankees...

I love him because he's my Yankee killer.


What fresh hell is this?

Why does every new medium that the internet has to offer become inundated with some form of "get to know you" time waster?

First it was those annoying e-mail surveys...remember those? What's your name? What's your sign? Vanilla or chocolate? Boxers or briefs?

These were fun the first 10,000 times.

Now, apparently bloggers are being "tagged" on their blogs to fill out these personal surveys. And I myself have recently been "tagged" like this is some sort of on-line party. You want to play internet footsie? Here's an idea: go to a party! Play twister. Do shots. Play Beatles records backwards for Satan manifestos. And stop clogging the internet!

But in the interest of being the internet's version of the usher who takes the beach ball away and gets booed, I'll do it. But once...and only once. And my way...because contrary to what people might think about these "surveys", nobody cares what books I'm reading, or my favorite toys, or my joys, my hopes or my dreams, or where I'd run away to (the point of me running away is so no one will find you think I'm telling you? Duh!) And certainly, nobody cares about what I'd do with $100 million dollars unless one of the answers is "lend it to you". And the answer is no! (You know who you are.)

So here goes:
  • Ten years ago: hating Steve Avery.
  • Five years ago: hating Roger Clemens.
  • Last year: hating Art Howe.
  • The last three days: hating Roger Clemens.
  • Five songs I know the words to: "Meet the Mets", "Happy Birthday", "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", "Let's Go Mets Go", "Take Me Out To The Ball Game".
  • Five N.L. East rivals I'd want on the Mets: Dontrelle Willis, Bobby Abreu, Chad Cordero, Miguel Cabrera, Chase Utley.
  • Five Mets I want to play somewhere else in the N.L. East: Dae Sung Koo, Danny Graves, Jose Offerman, Victor Zambrano, Kaz Ishii.
  • Five Mets from 1979 I liked: Doug Flynn, Joel Youngblood, John Stearns, Lee Mazzilli, Tom Hausman.
  • Five first basemen that will be mentioned to fill the hole at Shea, but the Mets should be careful about: Jim Thome, Todd Helton, Mike Sweeney, Sean Casey, Lyle Overbay.
  • Five foods I've never seen Miguel Cairo eat: lasagna, chicken cutlets, filet mignon, roast duck with the mango salsa, cream corn.
  • Five past Met games I would watch with Jennifer Love Hewitt: Benny Agbayani's walk off HR during game 3 of the 2000 NLDS, Todd Pratt walk off HR game against Arizona, the Steve Henderson walk off HR against the Giants in 1980, Game 6 against Houston in 1986, the Marlon Anderson inside the park HR game.
  • Five chinese dishes that I would suggest to David Wright: sweet and sour chicken, pan fried wontons, white meat chicken with sesame sauce, fried dumplings, shredded beef with garlic sauce.
  • Five tv shows I would watch with Cliff Floyd: Family Guy, Robot Chicken, The Apprentice, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Odd Couple.
  • Five stories ESPN has covered way too much at the expense of Mets coverage: Nicolette Sheridan on Monday Night Football, Kobe Bryant's relationship with Phil Jackson, Michelle Wie, Terrell Owens' training came hijinx, Mike Tyson doing anything.
  • Five numbers lower than five: four, two, zero, one, pi.
  • Five numbers I would consider wearing if I played for the Mets: 20, 44, 35, 9, pi.
  • Five people I am tagging to do this: Doug Mientkiewicz, Bruce Boisclair, Joe Perry of Aerosmith, Salma Hayek, Jesus Christ.

You're it.


Kyle in Newport News said...

I still use a Steve Avery faux autograph glove. I got it sometime between 1989-1991, and it's still in great shape. That should tell you something about the caliber ballplayer I am. :)

Metstradamus said...

I wonder if they still sell baseball mitts with those faux autographs on them.