Where Have You Gone, Chip Ambres?

This started out as one of those games where there was enough goofy stuff happening that it was going to be one of those Chip Ambres games where someone was going to be a late hero for one of those 9-8 contests.

Instead, the Mets never got to that point because they can't hit Hong-Chih Kuo. Let's review for a second: Hong-Chih Kuo, lifetime, was 3-11 with an ERA of close to 5 going in. Any guesses as to who two of those three career wins came against?

That's correct: your New York Mets.

Of course, it wouldn't have mattered if the Mets would have capitalized on some of their opportunities in the early innings ... like when they had a 3-0 lead and Ryan Church up with the bases loaded and nobody out in the second, and Church then hits into a double play and all bets are off. I think by the time Moises Alou stole home in the third on a double steal, the Mets had already stranded something like 35 runners in scoring position.

But Kuo coming in and looking like Carl Hubbell is just freakin' mind boggling. Mind boggling! And worse, it gave me the clarity to notice more things that I can complain about:

• Maybe all the Dodger nostalgia during the broadcasts are a coincidence. But in this world of heightened conspiracy alerts, it's a darn tootin' coincidence that all of these vignettes crop up considering that the president of the Brooklyn Dodgers secret society owns the team. I mean, the opening game of the series is one thing. But the nostalgia was in full force tonight too. The Giants are the only N.L. team with more hall of famers than the Dodgers. Any chance we'll get some Candlestick Park memories when the Mets go up north later in the year?
• I love Ron Darling. But stop with these damn Sovereign Bank commercials after every inning! The trees look like they're on fire and it's freaking me out!
• Is it me, or did David Wright look exhausted when there were two outs and nobody on when the camera cut to him in the dugout? Was it all those sparkling plays in the field he made (sandwiched between the throw he made that landed somewhere in El Segundo) that made him tired? Or was it hopelessness? And if it was hopelessness, how did the rest of the dugout look?
• I love Luis Castillo. Not like I love Ron Darling, but I'm a fan. And I'm pleased as punch he got his first hit in 85 at bats tonight. But a lollipop slider to end the game? Really, Luis? You know, protecting the plate is more than just for dinner, Luis.

But more than all of that, Hong-Chih Kuo just ticks me off. Three wins now out of four career coming against the Mets. More proof that this is how the season is going to go: Just good enough to keep us hopeful (two wins against Arizona), just bad enough to drive us nuts (Hong-Chih Kuo.)

It occurs to me that I've been going about this Aaron Heilman thing all wrong. Instead of complaining about him at every turn, I'm going to start my "Aaron Heilman Initiative". Meaning: When Heilman comes into a game, instead of watching the game and having complaints at the ready, I'm going to perform a good deed. So even when Heilman has a bad outing, some good will have come of it. For example, when Heilman entered the game tonight, I washed the dishes. So if Heilman had spit the bit, at least some good will have come of it. If everyone took part in the "Aaron Heilman Initiative", think of the good we can do as a society! One person does dishes. One person helps an old lady across the street. One person donates ten dollars to North Shore Animal League. We can actually turn society around instead of just sitting around complaining. And if Heilman has a good outing as he did tonight (two scoreless innings ... and in a close game no less), then everyone wins!