Wednesday, April 02, 2008

That's Just Fowl

The early results on Pedro Martinez's MRI came in. With our exclusive super zoom lens, here's a look at what doctors found:

Those birds will do a number on hamstrings.

All this talk about who's going to be the fifth starter, and now one of them is going to be the fourth starter after Pedro's injury. At least the bullpen showed how good it can be after Petey's shaky outing ... that is, until somebody named Robert Andino took some low-80's slop from Matt Wise and deposited it over the left field fence for a 5-4 Marlins win in ten innings.

Too bad Wise couldn't hear Keith Hernandez say that you can't continue to put pitches up in the zone as he did on the 2-0 pitch. The 2-1 pitch? It's going on Andino's mantle.

As for Petey, he's quickly headed towards the Orlando Hernandez region, where your starts are much anticipated, yet nobody expects anything out of you anymore. Pedro Martinez was a number two starter in ceremony only ... as far as I'm concerned, John Maine had the better chance to team with Johan Santana to create the 1-2 punch that teams fear anyway. Pedro got the second start of the season to keep his ego massaged. Now, he'll have his leg massaged instead.

And now here's the worst part: Pedro Martinez is injured while Mike Hampton is healthy.

Here's the second worst part: I have a friend at work who is ready to put Bobby Parnell in the Hall of Fame for his seven shutout innings this past spring. Now, he's probably ready to live on a billboard until Parnell is called up ... which means he'll probably alienate his friends and family, get fired from his job, and worst of all: not shower for weeks at a time, because Parnell isn't coming up anytime soon.

8 comments:

j m said...

I'm just glad your standings have finally changed. I was tired of looking at that thing on October 1st.

Anonymous said...

Are we sure it was Matt Wise pitching or Guillermo Mota in disguise.....?

Beezermess

MetFanMac said...

What really sucks about this is that he was perfectly fine in Spring Training... grrrr

katherine said...

I unfortunately watched Tuesday night's game on MLB.TV and was forced to isten to the Marlin's announcers. I thought Pedro's body language was TERRIBLE from the first pitch on, he was grimacing, at one point visibly rolled his eyes out on the mound, and seemed to be on the verge of tears a few times, long before he pulled his hamstring. I was dying to know how Ron, Keith and Gary were interpreting all that.

OK - here is my theory - Pedro just felt terrible and tired and wasn't getting his pitches across. So he pretended to have the injury, maybe Willie even told him to do it, so the relief pitcher would have unlimited warm-up time.

Whatever, there was something seriously wrong from the beginning of the game, I'm sure.

Uncle Mike said...

Dear Mr. Damus: You might want to change your name, because if you couldn't predict that Pedro was going to break down, you're no seer. Though even I, having seen him through many a Yanks-Sox duel and knowing of his fragility (mental as well as physical), did not foresee him getting rocked before he left. It was a lot like Clemens' last game -- might this be Pedro's last game?

As for what metfanmac said, it reminds me of the Jets: How many times have they been 4-0 in exhibition play and then... ow ow ow...

Demitri said...

I thought the headline would be "Pedr-awful" to keep the theme going.

Katherine, I too am forced to watch on MLB.TV now that I no longer am able to have DirecTV due to the way my backyard orbits the sun. MLB.TV combined with the Marlins announcers is an all-out assault on the senses.

The 3rd worst part is in the other MLB news headlines: "Bannister Dominates in Debut"

ugh.

Rickey Henderson said...

So if Rickey is understanding you correctly, Pedro's cock is to blame for all of this?

Me said...

Karma is a bitch. I knew those roosters would have their day.