Sunday, April 13, 2008

Fitness Protection Program

Rumor has it that after Sunday's 9-7 Brewer victory over the Mets, Gabe Kapler, a one-time fitness magazine cover boy and a minor league manager at this time last year, snuck into the Citi Field construction site and buried one of his pectoral muscles underneath one of the concrete pillars, further cursing the Mets beyond what he did today, which was homer, double twice, and knock home three runs.

As if the Mets need any more curses, between scoring six runs off of Jeff Suppan when they could have used those runs the last time Suppan faced Oliver Perez in Shea Stadium ... and still not being able to take advantage of it.

Speaking of Perez, how is Willie Randolph feeling right now? He blasted Perez for throwing five and two thirds shutout innings after his last start, so I have a feeling that right about now Perez is being sent to bed without dinner and playtime, and has lost his internet privileges for a week. In fairness, as ridiculous as it sounds to blast Ollie for throwing shutout ball (and it is), Perez is past the point where we give him a cookie and a pat on the back for not walking 79 batters (he had three today), no matter what else he did. Perez is past the point of being a reclamation project ... he's a viable major league pitcher now. So blowing a 6-2 lead and getting hit hard is no longer acceptable.

"Bad Ollie ... bad! Go to your room!"

Maybe Willie Randolph will bury Ollie Perez's toys underneath Citi Field's bullpen, just to teach him a lesson.

And then there were those pesky five double plays in a row, including the last one in the eighth when a certain fan favorite was on the mound struggling and refused to throw the ball over the plate, including the ball that Carlos Delgado popped up with two outs and the bases loaded, prompting Guillermo Mota to pump his fist as if it was, oh I don't know ... Game Two of the NLCS?

Perhaps Mota can bury his leftover HGH underneath the Citi Field mound. That oughta seal the Mets fate for decades to come.

10 comments:

Unser said...

They're playing awful ball. Here's my list from today's game:

-Schneider can't catch the ball
-Delgado can't catch the ball and Cadillac's it from base to base, as if he's supposed to stop at each base
-Castillo sacrifices even when there's nobody on
-Wright can't throw and swings at the first pitch when the guy before him walked on 4 straight pitches
-Ollie Perez throws wild pitches when the pitcher is at the plate trying to make an out
-The Mets pitching staff apparently missed yesterday's game and threw pitches on the inner half of the plate - exactly where the Brewers like it to hit it out of the park

Did I miss anything?

Metstradamus said...

To say that Delgado "Cadillacs" would be to infer that he doesn't go at full speed. I don't think that's the case. I think he's going full speed ... he's just so slow that it only looks like he Cadillacs.

JAMMQ said...

Boy, I was just depressed because today's game reminded me of last September, but to add references to the 2006 NLCS, well that's just kicking a man when he's down . . . and already being kicked.

Willie said we're drinking champagne at some point, when does that happen- before or after he's fired?

Andrew Vazzano said...

On a happier (read: spiteful) note: Glavine only pitched to four batters, allowing them all to reach base, before leaving the game with an injury.

No tears will be shed in New York.

MetFanMac said...

This game dredged up unhappy memories of the last game I ever attended (or ever will attend) at Shea: Willie leaves Benson in for the 5th even though he's clearly struggling, Benson allows 3 to tie the game at 6-all and is yanked; the other game--THE BREWERS--eventually won 12-9.

Anonymous said...

Is Reyes improving?

Anonymous said...

Willie's depressing mood has polluted this mediocre team. Look at Reyes to see what I mean.

This has been a bad start. Where's the team spirit?

Unser said...

I don't know MD - it really looks like he's a "base to base" runner, as if he expects to be held at third. He just seems to pull up at every base - what happens if the ball is bobbled, thrown away, etc?

I was getting the feeling yesterday that these guys have forgotten the basics. Down by 2 runs, 1st and 3rd, nobody out, middle of the order coming up, and Clark breaks on contact? If Clark holds, it's second and third and only one out. . . and the Mets would have to find a more unique way of hitting into a double play.

Dan Firrincili said...

All of these serve as sound reasons for firing Willie.

1) He captained the Mets sinking ship last season.
2) Jose Reyes has seemingly regressed under his tutelage.
3) The Mets have become a boring, inopportune team that looks as if it lacks “fire” and cohesion, which might be a result of his no tolerance policy on lavish dugout celebrating. (I say bring the celebrating back, especially if it leads to Jose Reyes hitting triples.)
4) The bullpen has gone from being one of the best in baseball (in 2006) to a shaky, uncertain outfit that regularly blows games, especially to the Phils, or extends opponents' leads, especially when facing the Phillies and the Braves.

Anonymous said...

Willie is a moron. I am so glad you Mutt$ fans have him as a manager. Will espn write stories anymore about how 'surprising' it was that he waited so long for a managerial job.

bwahahahaa. Omar has created a very talented team and has brought in the best pitcher in the game and willie the Sillie has the team floundering around the nl east completely rudderless.

bwahaha. I guess that's the life of a New York MUTT$$$$ fan!

hahaha. Losers.