Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Things I Regret

I would like to take this opportunity to extend a heartfelt apology to MC Hammer. As much as I am anti-Brave, and anti-anything that is Brave related, I should know better than to to slam our chief rivals about a song...knowing there's a chance that it would come back to bite me in the ass.

And that it has.

You see, we have a song now. It plays off the marketing slogan "Our Team, Our Time". And after a warning, I gave the song a try.

I gave it another try.

Then I played the MC Hammer song again.

Then I went back to our team, our song.

Subsequently, I poured rubbing alcohol into my ears to help stem the bleeding.

According to the press release: "TJS Marketing Group of Smithtown, N.Y. and Breakthru Productions of Orange, N.J. spontaneously created the new song for the Mets following the off-season excitement and interest in the team and the Mets' best start since 1985."

Spontaneously? I bet. It sounds like they wrote and recorded it in an hour!

Twenty minutes?

Our team in this, our time, is 10-2. Best record in baseball in case you haven't noticed. People are slowly but surely coming back to Shea. Obviously our team, this time, is going to be around all season. A song isn't needed to get people back. But if a song is absolutely necessary, couldn't you wait until August to debut it so that, oh I don't know, there's enough time to but some thought and creativity into it, and not something my cat could have done a better job at? Thirteen years the Mets have waited to not be the laughingstocks of baseball. Now we're the lead story on Baseball Tonight. We're number one in CNNSI's power rating (even though they still hate Shea Stadium). Thirteen years it's taken to wipe away the stench of 1993, and gain a little respectability back.

Now it's all gone. Back to being laughingstocks. Thanks a lot, marketing geniuses.

I mean, aren't the Mets based in New York City? Don't you think an organization in the number one market in the world could get someone...anyone...to come up with something that wasn't on the level of a six year old banging on a xylophone?

Audioslave?

Obie Trice?

Weird Al Yankovic?

Pat F**ing Boone??!?

Anyone?

Here's more good news from the press release: "The Mets will explore use of the song for in-stadium entertainment and potential commercial release based on fan feedback."

Commercial release??!?!?!??

Is DJ Skribble releasing a twelve inch?

Perhaps Jay-Z and Beyonce will sing it at the MTV music awards!

Settled. I'm running a poll on the song so you get your feedback. But just so you get answer number one:

Jorge Julio singing the Pepto Bismol theme would pump me up more for this team, this time.

Yay, Pepto Bismol.

11 comments:

Joe said...

How incredibly un-original! That is just so . . . ehhhhh . . . I feel like we just re-signed Mo Vaughn. That song . . .

No type of music is more terrible than cheesy rap music that wouldn't offend old white men. The Mets Anthem should be something with a more merengue beat or soemthing. How do you spell merengue?

rAD said...

I feel like we just re-signed Mo Vaughn.

Wow. Unfortunately, I agree. But it's worse. Why did the Mets have to cover MC Shy D's execrable "Shake It"?

The Metmaster said...

Metstra:

I was stunned listening to that crap. Good God, if they wanted a song they might as well bring back the goofy "Let's Go Mets, Go!" video from 1986. At least it conjurs up good feelings. This is an absolute embarrasment. I can hear Yankees fans everywhere snickering.

Anonymous said...

It is terrible! Give us a break. Go back to the old song or be more original.

Kyle in Newport News said...

In my opinion, its goofiness is precisely what makes this song so great. I played it no fewer than a dozen times last night, and wished dearly I could blast it at a traffic signal in Atlanta.

Fred said...

Oh. My. God.

Where have you gone, Superbowl Shuffle?

Ick.

jabair said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jabair said...

I start posting and they lose 7-1.. i knew i was going to regret exposing you to that crap song!!!

from what i recall, Victor Crapzano was an infielder who they converted to a pitcher because of the natural movement on his throws.

now that anderson hernandez has back spasms, any chance we can get him to maybe play 2B? He can aim for the plate and his natural movement will automatically take his throw to 1B, this way we can keep KRAP MATBOOI in AAA...

Ed in Westchester said...

Must find and hurt writer of song.

j m said...

Well, the "song" starts with five hits of this horrible synthesized sound. I'm not sure what instrument it's supposed to be. But I discovered that it's actually a lot of fun to listen to if you hold your fingers up to your own head in a pistol shape, and pull your fake finger-trigger with every hit of that sound throughout the "song". Try it...

j m said...

Hey, look - I uncovered the version that will be sweeping Metland in just a few short months:

New. York. Mets. Out of team. Out of time.
New. York. Mets. Out of team. Out of time.
Out of team. Out of time...

We cannot hit - hit
We cannot run - run
We're going down - down
We cannot bunt - bunt, bunt, bunt

New. York. Mets. Out of team. Out of time.
New. York. Mets. Out of team. Out of time.
Out of team. Out of time...

Victor Zambrano will make you spit
Kaz Matsui coming back - fields like shit and can't hit
Trachsel's in the game making sure no lead's enough
And behind him, Julio, with his stupid straight stuff
Remember early April, that sweet winning taste
October they've gone home, Jones and Jones in first place

New. York. Mets. Out of team. Out of time.
New. York. Mets. Out of team. Out of time.
Out of team. Out of time......