Monday, April 10, 2006

Let's Get Ready To Rumble

Once again, as usual, the words of Doug Mientkiewicz prove all knowing:
"You play somebody that many times, you're bound to have something happen. I think you've seen more guys getting hit, more guys having trouble because of the fact you see somebody so many times. There's a reason probably why marriages fail so much, because you see each other so much."
Round two begins Tuesday, just five days after round one. Joy.

As you know, Vice President Dick Cheney is going to throw out the ceremonial first pitch before Tuesday's game, which is the Nationals home opener. As soon as the pitch hits Jose Guillen, the ceremonial first fight will begin.

On Wednesday, the Nats will send out Tom Niedenfuer to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. On Thursday, it will be Rick Rhoden.

In fact there is such anticipation for this series, Roger Clemens was seen trying to woo Nationals ownership (Bud Selig) into giving him $20 million to pitch for the Nationals for this series only. Which brings about an interesting scenario: Major League Baseball, which owns the Nats, is telling both teams to "just play ball" this week. Now if something happens, is MLB going to have to fine itself?

Guillen meanwhile, is hoping to parlay this series with the Mets into a title bout with Floyd Mayweather. And there is rumor going around that Target has offered Guillen an endorsement deal. Guillen would replace the dog.

Meanwhile, SNY is sponsoring the "Hometown Hit Batsman Inning". If a Mets pitcher starts a brawl in the home half of the sixth, one lucky fan will win a $25 gift certificate to Friendly's, and be automatically entered in a drawing for a trip to Cooperstown, along with a free ticket to the hall of fame's hottest new interactive game, "The Guillermo Mota Spring Training Experience". I for one, can't wait.


fredstradamus said...

So there IS a bright side to being up before the sun and the birds on a monday morning with a respiritory infection only to drive 75 miles to get my kid to daycare and my sick ass to work.

Thanks, Uncle Metstra, for another great piece and another big chuckle.

Tommy_Calzone said...

ding, ding......

mr. met said...

No points for a groin shot?

Metstradamus said...

The 500 is a moving target.

Hotfoot Fan said...

Nice post, Metstra. My friend and I just started an irreverent Mets blog at

I think you'll enjoy the title.

And as far as Guillen goes, I like having Bannister start Tuesday. If the Nats start being foolish, it'll give him a chance early in his career to earn some credibility with his teammates and the fans.

Freak of Nature said...

Pedro is definitely going to bean him. I saw Don Zimmer's invite to the brawl.

jdon said...

Guillen is an idiot. Got hit 19 times last year. He has the reflexes of a cow. He never moves. Talk about your poor pitch recognition. Geez. Having said that about this poor dumb animal, I still think Pedro throws at him. Five times in 2 years is a lot.

iamSINATRA said...

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DEAREST PEDRO....hit Guillen in his filthy orangutan face. Knock his mouth out of the batter's box so we don't ever have to hear him again.

Thanks and go with God.