Thursday, April 27, 2006

Special Assignments And Secret Weapons

I always miss the really good ones.

I posted a hate list a few days back which warned of some interruptions in blogs and in blog quality over the next month or two. It only means that there are going to be some games I miss in parts or in their entirety due to a special assignment I've been put on. Today, was one of those days.

Oh I thought I saw what I needed to see when Brian Bannister, he of the two doubles and two RBI's today, ran home with the go-ahead run in the sixth on one leg as his hamstring exploded (yeah, they say strain, but goodness he had to be helped off the field like he was Nancy Kerrigan). I mean really, what more was there to see? So off I was to my special assignment.

After that, my next connection to the Mets game was an innocent looking score panel:

SF 7 F

Seems harmless enough, right?

While still on special assignment, and disconnected to the outside world, I got a cell phone message.

"Country Time is f***ing killing me...KILLING ME! He's ruining my freaking fantasy league. There is a reason why I do not ever, EVER have any Mets on my F***ING TEAM! There is a reason for it...and it was proven today. How the F**K do you give a home run to F***ING BONDS??!? $%@ &$*$#@!!!"
The message obviously came immediately after the home run, and I'm flattered and humbled that he included me in his meltdown. Knowing the final score when I heard the message made that possibly the funniest cell phone message anywhere, ever. EVER!

So I made plans to stay up and watch the "Mets in 60" rebroadcast (it's actually called "Mets Fast Forward") that SNY is doing at one-thirty AM...speaking of which, why is it that on the supposed Mets network, they only rebroadcast that night's game at 5AM and 9AM? Does a 5AM rebroadcast really help anybody? And 9AM? Well that doesn't help me. So I was glad to see that a 1:30 AM broadcast was available tonight (I need DVR).

Julio Franco? Stolen base? What's next, Roger McDowell playing right field?

Oh wait...

I don't know how to feel regarding Bonds' dinger off of Country Time, other than it was set up by another sailing throw by a running David Wright (you're a stud in the making, but plant your feet, will ya?) Did Wagner have any business giving up a game tying dinger to a watered down Barry Bonds? Maybe not. But here's what I think about Barry Bonds: To me, Bonds has become a softball player. He takes big swings, jogs around the bases whether he hits it out or not, and is fast becoming the size of your normal softball player. I half expect Major League Baseball to institute a softball type rule where after Bonds makes contact, there's a runner waiting at home plate to run for him. I also expect Bonds to catch fly balls in one hand with a beer in the other, like the third baseman on WKRP in Cincinnati during the big softball episode. But even though he's a softball player, softballers can still hit. So tip your hat.

But softballers can't run or field, and Bonds proved that as he turned Chris Woodward's go ahead single into a go-ahead double in the eleventh. Woodward called himself and Fluff Castro "secret one knows we're here." Now Woodward, I understand. But how can you not know Fluff is in the building with his huge head?

And how many of you were fretting when Armando Junior was warming up in the bullpen in the top of the eleventh?

But no matter, as Darren Oliver finished up the game in the eleventh, and all (besides Bannister's hammy) is well. Bananas.

Should I take this as a hint that I should stop these special assignments...or go on them more often?


Tommy_Calzone said...

As an addendum to your poll I'd like to offer up allowing Oliver a start dumping the waste of space that is Valentin thus bringing up Heath Bell who last I checked was kickin ass in AAA.

But like Woodward, Bell gets zero love from Willie & Omar. So I won't hold my breath.

Anonymous said...

Tommy....I second your motion. Now can we vote?

Anonymous said...

Country-time's runs were unearned..just saying...hes on my fantasy team too. And that was a 99mph fastball

Shari said...

I think Tommy's idea is a great one, but he's alsoright in saying he won't hold his breath.
I also don't understand what Valentin has over the Wilpons? Does he have pictures of them incompromising positions? Why on earthwould you offer this man a guaranteed major league contract when he clearly would have been cut in Spring Training otherwise?

Metstradamus said...

Valentin's a head scratcher. Why would you sign a guy who just came off a major injury to be a role player, especially when you signed Franco the next day? I never understood that.

As for Oliver? Not a bad idea. Has Heath Bell learned how to put movement on his fastball yet?

ironhands said...

While I've always been in favor of giving Bell an opportunity, he has no role on this team. The bullpen is both right hand heavy and quite successful at the moment.

Even though they signed Michael Tucker, Valentin probably has a few more weeks. He will be made available for pinch ground/strike outs mostly because of Wright's health questions. The fact that Valentin can play 3rd base makes his role (or lack thereof) difficult to replace, defensively. Regardless, you would think that Woodward would fill in there once Valentin is released, which is just a matter of time at this point.

Oh, and Metstra...Valentin was signed because he is left handed, can play the infield and outfield and hit 30 HR's 2 years ago. Not that I would use that as a defense or anything - it was just a bad move, not a confusing one.

Tommy_Calzone said...

I think Valentin was more Omar givin one of his old boys a job.

And let us not forget you can put Valentin right up there with Bret Boone for poster children of the steroids era.

Bell has been lightin up AAA but I guess the point is moot now since it appears Bannister is gonna be ok.

ironhands said...

You mean OK like how Beltran was going to be OK about 2 weeks ago, right?