This One Cuts Deep

This is what happens when Raul Valdez's glass slipper breaks.

Well now the season is truly underway, isn't it? Now that the Mets have had their first true kick in the stomach, we're now officially wading waist deep into the season. There's no turning back to shore now. It's onward to the ocean floor without a life raft.

For me, I think we're now starting to see how a front office and a manager can lose ballgames. Omar Minaya, bless his heart, having been hamstrung by ownership's budget, couldn't bring in a quality lefty for the bullpen to complement Pedro Feliciano. Instead, he borrows one from the Mexican league. Nobody, not even Gary Cohen had heard of Raul Valdez when he made his spring training debut in mid-March. Despite that fact, he made the Mets roster ... which tells you something about how easy it must have been to make the roster.

But when you keep relying on Mexican league castoffs when your ace bullpen lefty looks like death, you're going to get burned more often than you should in a 162 game season. You aren't going to be burned all time time, but in a league where the difference in talent can come down to a few pitches here and there (like the one Valdez threw to Felipe Lopez for the deciding grand slam), you will be burned enough times to make the difference between being in contention for a wild-card spot, and battling the Nationals for fourth place. This is why the Phillies can survive injuries to Jimmy Rollins, Joe Blanton, J.C. Romero and Brad Lidge and go 8-2, while the Mets have Raul Valdez.

Also, when you consistently rely on the likes of Mike Jacobs and Fernando Tatis, you will be burned. But when Jacobs is placed higher in the order than the white hot Jeff Francoeur by the manager, then there's plenty of flame to go around. Jacobs ended the Mets' first inning rally with a strikeout with Frenchy on deck. Then, with Dennys Reyes coming in to face Jacobs in the all important eighth inning rally, Tatis comes up to pinch hit and he strikes out. The alternative would have been Frenchy batting in that spot and facing the righty, Blake Hawksworth.

(Wait a second ... Blake Hawksworth??? Come on. That's not a real person. That was the name of a villian in "Spenser: For Hire". Or Joan Collins' love interest in "Dynasty". Or a Peter Griffin muse in "Family Guy". I mean, are the Mets this bad that they can't muster up a rally against a fictional character???)

Now don't get me wrong. Ultimately, it's players who win or lose ballgames. I believed it when Willie Randolph was making questionable moves/non-moves with the bullpen, and I believe it now. But the people in charge aren't helping any. Friday night was proof.

The shame of it all was that the good Oliver Perez actually showed up to the ballpark tonight. We haven't seen Good Ollie for a long time! For all we know Good Ollie was on a Himalayan expedition since 2008. And this is how he gets treated upon his return? He'll never come back after this. He was shaky in the first couple of innings (walking the immortal Allen Craig in the first inning with first base open and some guy named Pujols on deck had me inventing new curse words) but finished brilliantly. Oliver Perez did this.

And yet, the fruit of his labor was the pumpkin that Raul Valdez's limousine turned into before midnight could cast it's shadow on St. Louis. It was so bad that I wanted to vomit voluntarily ... but there wasn't an 11-year-old in the immediate area so I passed.

If We Die, We Die

So what if the middle of the rotation is made up of question marks and silly putty.

So what if the bullpen wasn't cemented until the last spring training game.

So what if Mike Jacobs, who wasn't a lock for the Opening Day roster a week ago is now the cleanup hitter.

So what if Jenrry Mejia is merely the latest prospect rushed through the system despite the decree that things were going to be different 'round here.

So what if outside of Jason Bay the team is still same ol' same ol'.

So what if Snoop Manuel is still the manager.

So what if Omar Minaya is still the GM.

So what if the Wilpons still grip this team like a vice drenched in flop sweat and shame.

Baseball season is here.

And here's how I look at it: Unless the top-level talent performs above and beyond their best performances so as to cover up the mistakes of the rest of the rosters ... unless the newfound clubhouse chemistry really makes the difference between winning and losing ... unless Oliver Perez forgets he's Oliver Perez ... it's most likely going to be a tough grind of a season. I emphasize "most likely" because anything can happen. We learned this last season.

But why stress? Why worry about all that now? It's Opening Day. The Mets are tied for first. They're serving lasagna bolognese at Citi Field. Life is good.

As far as the season goes, I believe it was Alex Cora who told Dustin Pedroia the following when Pedroia was experiencing some flight fright:

"If we die, we die."

Most likely, this season will have casualties. Maybe Minaya. Maybe Manuel. Maybe both. Maybe our collective sanity. Who knows? But make no mistake: The lowered expectations that this team has will make all the bitching, moaning, and complaining fun again.

There will be bitching.

There will be moaning.

There will be complaining.

That's all I can guarantee for 2010. Win total? I had 91 last season and was only off by about twenty. So I'm staying away from picking a number. Instead, I'm going all Range Game and saying that this team could go anywhere from 78-86 wins. I'm counting on a full season from Jose Reyes, a bounce back season from David Wright, a nice season from Jason Bay, and Johan Santana being the 2008 Johan Santana.

I'm not counting on Oliver Perez doing anything. I'm not counting on Jenrry Mejia to fool hitters past a month. I'm not counting on Sean Green to turn into Chad Bradford.

Everything else, I can only hope for. I hope Jeff Francoeur keeps smiling, keeps hitting, and keeps his K's to a minimum. I hope Mike Jacobs can return to the production of his Florida days. I hope that Carlos Beltran's return means something more than a two month audition for a playoff team that plays somewhere other than Flushing. I'm hoping Ike Davis and Fernando Martinez tear up Buffalo until September. I'm hoping that Bobby Parnell learns a cutter. I'm hoping Ryota Igarashi puts spring behind him. I'm hoping Mike Pelfrey bounces back like I think he will. I'm hoping Hisanori Takahashi is nothing like Ken Takahashi. I'm hoping John Maine keeps his puking to a minimum. I'm hoping Jon Niese grows up. I'm hoping Angel Pagan remembers how to get from first to home. I'm hoping Gary Matthews Jr. is slightly more than adequate. I'm hoping Frank Catalanotto was as good an idea now as he would have been five years ago. I'm hoping Pedro Feliciano continues to strike out Ryan Howard and Chase Utley with regularity. I'm hoping Frankie Rodriguez doesn't give up another grand slam to Justin Maxwell. I hope we see Chris Carter. I hope we see Daniel Murphy. I hope Rod Barajas and Henry Blanco are as defensively able as advertised. I hope those two knock some sense into the pitching staff.

Yes, I have a lot of hope this season.

But if we die, we die. As long as we die big.

And if we die, I hope somebody brings punch to the Apology Day party I'm throwing.

Lurking In The Weeds

"We’ve been talking to them for a good part of the offseason. I am still just being patient, waiting for the right deal." -Joe Beimel on being courted by the Mets this offseason.

Well this only came a year too late as the Mets have needed a second lefty in the bullpen since Scott Schoeneweis was misused in 2008. But I'll take it. Just make sure Beimel adheres to curfew if he signs.

You Get What You Pay For

It's not so much that Derek Lowe beat the Mets on Monday. Oh no, because I resigned myself to the fact that somehow he was going to outduel Johan Santana.

But it's more the fact that while Derek Lowe was beating the Mets on Monday, the guy who the Mets chose over him wasn't on the mound getting blown out opposite Lowe, or on the bench waiting for his next turn ... but was in Florida watching basketball. (I didn't know that the patella tendinitis access seating was so low. Maybe I could fake an injury and get those seats.)

The only thing that shocks me in this whole scenario is that Perez wasn't the one who got run over by Big Baby Davis.

So those of you who are sick of the juxtaposition of Lowe and Perez, you shouldn't read the papers tomorrow. You probably shouldn't read the blogs. And you definitely shouldn't have read the previous three paragraphs. (There's a warning that does you little good.)

All I know is that the Mets played hardball with Lowe because they knew that Perez was an available backup option, due to the fact that no other team had shown any interest in Oliver Perez. So Lowe called the Mets bluff and took the fourth year from Atlanta and the Mets signed Perez. The Mets probably felt fortunate that nobody else showed any interest in Perez. Shouldn't they have wondered why that was the case?

Well, the Mets saved $24 million on that one. Good for them. Too bad the other $36 million could have been better spent on cigarettes, or given to orphans, or set on fire. In fact, it would have been better served being set on fire with a cigarette by an orphan.

But it was more than that which beat the Mets tonight. Forget about lack of run support ... since the Mets were facing Lowe we should have known runs would be at a premium. But how about a lack of defense? How can Santana lose two games already this season where he doesn't give up an earned run? Teams usually make more errors behind pitchers who don't keep their fielders on their toes by throwing a lot of balls out of the strike zone like, say, Oliver Perez. But does Johan Santana really deserve that treatment?

And let's not also forget Snoop leaving Pedro Feliciano in to face Matt "I hit .323 against lefties in my career" Diaz (that's pronounced DIE!!!-az). See, he could have had Brian Stokes in there against DIE!!!-az, but I guess Stokes has been typecast as the guy who can only play the part of the pitcher who comes in to clean up after the mansion has already been broken into. Stokes must now know how Mark Hamill felt.

The good news, as usual, is that there's another game tonight. Though it probably won't be the one Oliver Perez is at. You never know where you'll find him tomorrow ...

The Chan Ho Experience

It's always nice to beat the Philadelphia Phillies. But I'll be honest with you: If the Mets didn't do what they did to Chan Ho Park tonight, I would have gone on this space and called for the decertification of the Mets franchise. I would have lobbied the family of Chub Feeney to get that done.

Friday night was one that they had to have, and should have had. Thankfully, they didn't play down to the level of competition (translated: they didn't turn Chan Ho Park into Greg Maddux) and they indeed got that 7-4 win Friday night.

(As much as Mets fans and Phillies fans are blood enemies, fans of both teams will walk arm in arm on one fact: and that's the fact that Chan Ho Park stinks no matter what side of the rivalry he's on. I mean, Mike Pelfrey almost hit a homer off him.)

And I humbly pass along my title as soothsayer to Bobby O, who predicted before the game that Pedro Feliciano would be the deciding factor. He certainly was as important as anyone, as he pitched 1 2/3's innings facing the hard lefties and the somewhat difficult righties and minimized the damage in the sixth and seventh innings. Sure, one may point out that he did give up a dinger to Chase Utley and that he received a gift when Greg Dobbs ran the bases as if his eyes were bigger than his stomach. But last year, Pedro wasn't getting anyone out in that situation. He did what he had to do, which was get the ball to Putz (I love him more today than yesterday ... but hopefully not as much as tomorrow) and Frankie.

I don't know what to expect from Oliver Perez tomorrow. Well no, I take that back. I fully expect he's going to pitch like garbage. But it seems that whenever I have a strong feeling that way no matter who the pitcher, he comes up huge. And Perez does pitch well against the Phillies, so I'm all for Ollie staying in the rotation tomorrow. He absolutely can come up huge. I don't expect it, but that's why it could happen.

And by the way, Gary Sheffield will most likely be in the lineup tomorrow against Jamie Moyer. Lifetime, he's hitting .481 (13 for 27) with four home runs. So I expect success. But that's why an 0-for-4 will most likely happen.

Overworked And Underwhelmed

“Three runs shouldn't be something that’s insurmountable. It appears when we get in that position, it’s an insurmountable lead. We have to address that.” -Snoop Manuel

That only took him a year to figure that one out ... duh.

But you know what he hasn't figured out? He hasn't figured out that Sean Green doesn't have to pitch every day. Green took the loss Tuesday as he melted down in the seventh inning, and he coughed up the kind of one-run lead that he's paid to come in and hold on to (as if there's another kind of one-run lead). But did Green really need to pitch during a five run lead? Or down by four?

It doesn't seem like a large workload for Green, who has pitched pretty much every other day for the most part (until Tuesday), but with a guy who you know was overworked in the early part of last season, I'd think you would want to be more judicious with him so that you can pitch him back to back later in the season, and not throw him in blowouts. He's already on pace to blow away his career high in appearances and approach the levels of guys like Scott Schoeneweis' and Pedro Feliciano's totals last season. I know part of it is the lousy starting pitching, but do we really want to go down that road with Green?

Not that I know what I'm talking about anyway ... but when has that ever stopped me?

Congratulations ...

... to Pedro Feliciano, for his induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Who knew? I believe that makes him the first lefty specialist to get into Canton. Ray Guy must be pissed.

As long as we're on a football theme, I guess you want a Super Bowl prediction from someone who calls himself a soothsayer. At the risk of multiple comments which encourage me to "stick to baseball" (though that hasn't gone very well either lately), I give you: Cardinals 31 Steelers 20.

(Editor's note: The blogger is not responsible for any money you may have lost listening to him ... He only hopes you were smart enough to take the points.)

Life Is A Highway

Schoeneweis: Thanks for the ride, Johan.

Santana: My pleasure.

Stokes: Yeah, we've had smooth sailing with no traffic for 200 miles, and now we're almost home.

Feliciano: Thanks Johan.

Santana: Always glad to ... uh oh.

Stokes: What is it Johan?

Santana: Guys, my foot fell asleep. I'm pulling over. One of you is going to have to drive the last three miles home.

Schoeneweis: I'll do it (trades places with Johan and takes the wheel.)

Schoeneweis: Three miles, can't be too hard

(Schoeneweis runs over a squirrel, then swerves into a ditch.)

Schoeneweis: Oh no! What are we going to do?

Stokes: Let's get the car out of the ditch and I'll drive (the guys push the car out and drive off.)

Stokes: There, just a little detour, we'll be fine (slams into an 18 wheeler, the car comes to rest by the guard rail.)

Stokes: Dammit!

Santana: What the hell is wrong with you guys?

Feliciano: Guys, we need some gas. Let's hit the rest stop ... I'll drive.

(The guys drive into the rest stop, and slam into the gas station. Santana's car explodes into a fireball, the guys ... somehow ... are unharmed.)

Santana: You idiots!!! That's the seventh Mercedes you guys have wrecked! Why do I drive with you guys??!? How the hell are we going to get home???

Stokes: Hey, there's another car in the lot, it's a pick up truck!

Schoeneweis: You mean the one with the vanity plates?

Stokes: Yeah, NIESE 49.

Feliciano: Hey buddy? Can you give us a lift? Hey? HEEEEEEEEY?!?

Niese: (Locks doors and speeds off.)

Schoeneweis: Aww.

(Editor's note: No squirrels were harmed in the making of this short.)

Get Outta My Head

You ever get the feeling that people are surfing the personal internet that's inside your brain?

Like when earlier today I had been perusing the bullpen statistics ... specifically the splits of the main bullpen culprits, er ... I mean pitchers, and found the following:

Schoeneweis:
.151/.224 vs. Left (Avg/OBP against)
.330/.426 vs. Right

Feliciano:
.207/.269 vs. Left
.344/.427 vs. Right

Smith:
.203/.288 vs. Right
.311/.426 vs. Left

Heilman:
.215/.320 vs. Right
.310/.401 vs. Left

Stokes:
.175/.175 vs. Right
.371/.421 vs. Left

And I'm thinking: "Ooh, I can put these splits in my back pocket and spring 'em in a future post dissecting the bullpen. It'll be great, they'll never expect me to go all statistical on 'em, they'll just expect another Robby Alomar joke. Oh, It'll be great."

So what do you think happens? Of course, SNY breaks out the lefty/righty split graphic during Tuesday's game ensuring that I'll just look like a copycat fool when my master bullpen dissection comes out. The one time I get all stat geek and it's ruined ... ruined I say!

But it doesn't take a genius, a stat geek, or a Mets television network to point out what's so wrong with this bullpen and why it needs to be revamped next season: Everybody in the pen is a specialist. Schoeneweis, Heilman, Smith and Feliciano ... when used right ... should be guys who are facing one or two batters. The Mets don't really have anybody who could face anybody. Except ...

The one guy who's splits were on the SNY graphic didn't belong:

Sanchez:
.261/.331 vs. Right
.217/.314 vs. Left

That's a weird one because his numbers are slightly worse against righties, correct? And the OBP againsts are similar against both lefties and righties. It doesn't make much sense. But the splits get more normal when you go back to his salad year of '06:

.179/.266 vs. Right
.276/.362 vs. Left

So even Sanchez falls along that specialist line. But he's been an eighth inning guy before, so one would think it would be imperative for him to somehow regain a little of that '06 magic if this bullpen is going to last to and through October without dropping dead.

Until then, we'll take ninth innings like Tuesday night, where Stokes put a runner on (after two solid innings) before Feliciano got the lefty Prince Fielder to double himself up, and Smith came in to wipe out Corey Hart and give the Mets an opportunity to win the game in the tenth.

Ayala:
.291/.333 vs. Right
.259/.341 vs. Left
.241/.301 with nobody on
.321/.379 with runners on

If Luis Ayala could stop giving up rallies with two outs (started by guys who look like Bob Hamelin's distant relatives), he could be a guy who could not only close, but could slide into an eighth inning role if/when Country Time comes back.

***

Jon Niese's scouting reports says that he likes to compete, which basically makes him the anti-Steve Trachsel.

Niese gave up five runs in three plus innings against the Brewers tonight in his major league debut ... which is two innings more than Trachsel lasted in Game 3 of the 2006 NLCS.

Basically, when you talk about a full list of Met pitchers from best to worst, all you have to do is just kinda show up and you'll surpass Trachsel.

***

And by the way, if you're interested in reading about Cody Ross popping off some more on Mike Pelfrey, then you should check this out. Try not to giggle uncontrollably.

Escape From Philadelphia

Let's forget the obvious for a moment, that the five runs that the Mets scored after the fifth inning were instrumental in the Mets Wednesday victory because:

• the Mets were behind and actually needed the runs,
• the Mets were playing the Phillies ... ahead of them to start the night, and ...
• the Mets got those runs off of the Phillies bullpen, Kryptonite to Mets bats.

I got a comment on my last post which basically said that late runs are a non-story, and that seven runs late in the game still would have left the Mets one short. So I put on my white coat, entered my math lab, made all of the calculations and concluded that yes, seven runs is still less than eighth no matter when the seven runs are scored. Let that be a lesson to you kids: Math is useful and fun.

But here's the difference between late runs and early runs: Tuesday night: I had this feeling in the ninth that it was only a matter of time until the bullpen blew it. Wednesday night: I thought the game was over entering the ninth (and don't tell me that I had that feeling because the lead was three instead of one ... I've seen what this bullpen can do with three run leads and it's not f***ing pretty). And if I, of all people, was feeling a little invincible, imagine what they were feeling on the Mets bench.

Also, when you score runs early, you're most likely going to do it against one pitcher. When you score runs late, you're probably going to do it against three or four guys with all of the pitching changes, so you make a team feel like they have no options ... you know, that feeling you get when Snoop trots out Heilman, Sanchez and Feliciano all the time? That one.

Don't get me wrong, I'll take runs during any inning at any time. But those late runs, thanks to Carlos Delgado, Daniel Murphy, and Brian Schneider, kept those creepy feelings away ... at least until the next time we meet up with the Phillies (the team that the Mets officially won the season series with last night ... incidentally.)

So enjoy your day off today in the knowledge that at least for now, all is right and familiar with the world. The Mets are in first place, Fluff Castro is on the DL, and Skip Bayless is still an ever-loving tool:

"Way to go, Phillies!!!!!!!" -Skip Bayless on Wednesday's "First Pizza", or whatever they call that show these days.

Bite me, you contrarian cupcake crumb.

Old Boys Network

I don't want to say that Brad Ausmus and Darin Erstad are old, but after they hit dingers off of Pedro Feliciano in the tenth on Sunday I could swear that I saw Bea Arthur grabbing a bat in the dugout mouthing the words "I want hacks ... I want haaaaaacks!!!"

Of course, it would have never come down to the tenth inning had the Mets not continued their Roy Orbison impression (years between hits).

Meeting Of The Minds

We set the scene in the Mets bullpen, during the first inning of Wednesday night's game against the Braves:

Schoeneweis: Hey everybody! Everybody! Gather your butts 'round here, Billy's got something to say to all of you!

Wagner: Thanks Scott. I want you all to know that just because I'm not going to be able to close for y'all in the foreseeable future cuz my elbow is the size of Fluff Castro's head, that you guys are more than capable to get the job done. In fact, I want to tell you that you guys are great, and there's not a guy out there that I would trade any of you for. People just focus on me because I have the closer title ... and the only reason that I'm a closer is that I stunk as a starter.

Heilman: You stunk as a starter?

Wagner: Why, yes I did.

Heilman: Tell us that story.

Wagner: What story?

Heilman: About how you stunk as a starter and are now the best closer in this bullpen? Please?

Wagner: Well, that's not really ...

Heilman: I WANT TO HEAR THE STORY!

Schoeneweis: Aaron! Pipe down!

Wagner: No Schoeney, it's okay. I'll tell the story.

Feliciano: Cool! Story time! Hey Joe, you have the candy in the Hello Kitty bag?

Smith: Yup. Hope you guys don't mind, I ate a lot of it ... just the stuff with the processed sugar.

Schoeneweis: Will you mutts stifle so Billy can tell his story ... we may have to pitch soon!

Wagner: Well, there's not too much to the story ... when I was at Quad City in 1994, I started 26 games, went 8-9, and walked 91 batters in 153 innings. So then after I started some in AAA, the Astros decided to make me a reliever. So I really mean it when I say that you're all better than me.

Smith: Ha ha, hahaa ha. I'm better than yooooooou. Hey, I wonder who else I'm better than (hops off).

Feliciano: That wasn't a very interesting story. Where's the compelling plot lines? The sultry ingenue? The action scenes?

Heilman: Wait a second, I wasn't that bad in Norfolk ... I didn't walk as many guys as you when I was a starter, and they didn't make me a closer. The Mets just made me a stupid seventh inning guy.

Smith: (licking the sugar off the inside of the candy bag) Ha ha hahaa, ha. I'm better than yooooooou, Aaron!

Heilman: No really, I only walked 66 in 151 innings in Norfolk and the Mets told me that I had to pitch in the stupid seventh inning. What does that say about me?

Schoeneweis: What Billy is trying to say is that you're all capable of closing so keep your chins up.

Heilman: My chins? Are you calling me fat? I'm going to go now. (stomps off)

Feliciano: Billy, if there was a movie made about you, who would you get to play you? John Malkovich?

Stokes: Edward Norton?

Schoeneweis: Jack Black!

Wagner: Close Schoneny ... John Franco.

Smith: Hey, you know who else I'm better than? John Smoltz. After 57 years as a starter, he was a reliever for a couple of years. That must mean he stunk as a starter too. So I must be better than him too, right? I'm better than Smollll-tziiiiiiie. I'm better than Smollll-tziiiiiiie.

Schoeneweis: You're a little dense. Hey what's Heilman doing over there?

Stokes: Schoeny, he said something about "goodbye cruel world" and I now think he's trying to slit his pinky finger with a spoon.

Heilman: I'll do it too if I can find only my wrist!

Stokes: What should I do, Billy?

Wagner: Leave him alone. He obviously lacks his tools and his command tonight so I wouldn't worry about him.

Smith: Hey, I'm reading Wikipedia, and there's this guy named Mathewson, and he had 28 career saves. So that must mean he stunk as a starter ... and he's in the Hall of Fame! So I'm better than him, right? Wow, I'm going to be in the Hall of Fame! Wait 'till I rub it in to the guys at Wrigley! I'm a Hall of Faaaaaaaaam-eeeeeeeeeer! I'm a Hall of Faaaaaaaaam-eeeeeeeeeer!

Schoeneweis: Wait a second, where's Filthy? Filthy! What are you doing in the corner???

Sanchez: I'm making a t-shirt for Johan! It says "I Went to the Dugout with a Three Run Lead and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt!"

Feliciano: What does it say on the back?

Sanchez: It says "Oh Yeah, and a No-Decision Too!"

Heilman: Ha ha, that's funny! Maybe this world isn't so cruel after all! I want to liiiiiiiiive!!!

Schoeneweis: Oh jeez, with all these basket cases I'd think it was Easter. I hope we don't have to pitch tonight.

Wagner: I wouldn't worry about that.

Al Reyes: All right boys, I'm here to help. Where's the candy?

Schoeneweis: Wait, you're a Met?

Al Reyes: Well, sort of. I'm a Binghamton Met.

Feliciano: Don't you play second base?

Stokes: I think that's Argenis.

Smith: Yay! We lead the league in Reyeses! Yaaaaaay! They're better than yooooooou! They're better than yooooooou!

Heilman: Where's that spoon?

Wagner: (Buries head in hands. Elbow inflames to the size of Mr. Met's head.)

While You Were Out

So here I am in the Meadowlands thinking I was going to be far away from any bullpen problems the Mets would have (and as I saw courtesy of my DVR, they indeed had their problems before finally winning.) But when Paul Raymond dropped what would have been the winning touchdown against the Redskins, and Mike Nugent hit the upright on a field goal at the buzzer (who the hell plays for the tie in a pre-season game ... oh, right. It's the Jets) can you blame me for thinking that Raymond and Nugent were kidnapped, tied up and left in the upper tank of the Meadowlands, and replaced by Aaron Heilman and Scott Schoeneweis? I mean, the Jets closed out that game as if they were ... well, the Mets. Can you be positive that didn't happen? Maybe that wasn't Heilman warming up in the bullpen in the ninth in Pittsburgh. Maybe it was a C.I.A. operative. Maybe it's part of the intricate plot to keep Billy Wagner on the disabled list for a few extra days. Uh-oh, I've said too much.

At least the Phillies lost. And Brett Favre looked good. Not quite Pedro Martinez good, but good. Conspiracies aside, not a bad day.

Cousin Oliver Redux

Could Brian Stokes have been the key all along?

Now far be it from me to be the one to make excuses for the outfit in the pen and the way they've been going these days. Heck, during the early stages of the Mets' 10-0 lead tonight, when you were thinking if there was anyone out there who thought the Mets' bullpen could blow this lead, the answer was yes ... me! But here's what I'm thinking:

Forget the whole "different roles" thing. That's an excuse. A lame one at that. But could it be ... just maybe ... that the whole reason the bullpen has reaked of fresh roadkill is due to the lack of a long option in the pen?

When Darren Oliver played here in '06, the Mets' record in games he's pitched in was 17-28. Look through his game log and you'll see a lot of the scores of the games he's been in are of the 15-2, 11-3, 10-1 variety. Now, go through this season and check out the boxscores of similar games with similar scores. For example: May 12th against the Nationals, where the game was decided by the sixth inning:

Sosa 1 IP
Sanchez 1 IP
Smith 1 IP
Wagner 1 IP

How about two days earlier, a game which was 10-3 after six innings:

Heilman 1 IP
Feliciano 1 IP
Sosa (Who's this Sosa guy?) 1 IP

Even July 3rd, a game with was 11-0 after five and a half.

Schoeneweis 1 IP
Smith 1 IP

Games like this in 2006 saw Darren Oliver eat inning, after inning, after inning. The above blowouts featured names that would be better serve to use their limited bullets on close games, and not blowouts (though the Heilman appearance was very well one of those "I need to find my game" appearances. Apparently, he lost it again.)

Tonight was one of those games that you knew was going to be a patchwork bullpen game with John Maine restricted in his first game back from his shoulder issue. And in a game without Brian Stokes, even with the score 10-0 (which would end 12-0) you would have seen Schoeneweis pitch an inning ... Filthy pitch an inning ... Smith pitch an inning ... heck, Jorge Sosa could have come in tonight just for laughs (Sosa is in the Seattle organization, in case you were wondering. I know you weren't. Heck, I wasn't until I was looking through old boxscores. How did I miss Jorge Sosa going to Seattle? Or should the question be: How could I not?)

But with Stokes on the roster, he fills the Darren Oliver role and gives the rest of the beleaguered some rest by pitching four innings and getting a save in a 12-0 game. And now I'm wondering if there's a way to keep Stokes on the roster when Country Time comes back. Which of course, there is ... with Eddie Kunz eligible to be sent down, and Fluff Castro probably overdue for a spot on the D.L.

And speaking of bullpens, notice how the Phillies bullpen melted late for the second night in a row? Yes, I felt dirty rooting for Chan Ho Park. Dirtier still rooting for Joe Torre. And dirtiest of all when Jeff Kent was up with the Dodgers down by two runs and second and third, and he lined one down the left field line to tie the game which was met with "Yes! Jeff!" A swear which was quickly followed by "I still hate you Jeff!!!", which is the baseball equivalent of blessing yourself after you swear which is what my grandmother did a lot ... thank you, Nana!

But we'll have to send the Dodgers some sort of bouquet of flowers of some sort for sweeping the Phillies and helping the Mets climb back into a tie for first. Hopefully Manny doesn't think it's lettuce and mistakenly eats it. Thank you, Nomar.

World Of Hurt

Hey, I don't want to be the grumpy one all the time. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that even though it took a rain delay to make Pedro Martinez seem whole again, I'll say that I saw enough out of Petey to believe that he does in fact have something left this season. Even though he stunk in the first inning as per usual (.407 BAA against in the first inning this season), and had his usual problems in the fifth (.520 in the fifth ... much better), I'll always be reluctant to bury Petey until he walks off the mound for the final time, cradling his rotator cuff in his glove hand.

(Editor's note: This blogger made the same mistake with Tom Glavine before he had two decent seasons at an older age than Pedro.)

And I do suppose that I was heartened by the Mets coming back from an early 4-0 hole to take a 7-5 lead in the seventh. Guts and fire ... great. But good teams show guts and fire, and then not give it back. The Mets haven't proved that they're anything above mediocre this season. And the disheartening thing about last night's disaster was that the big blow came off of a pitcher who has been one of the rocks of the 'pen in Pedro Feliciano. And a lefty batter at that ... albeit a lefty batter that has rocked him on a grander stage.

(Editor's note: Also seen in both last night's game and the 2006 NLCS: Carlos Beltran striking out looking in a big spot. Last night it was the top of the eighth with a runner on third and one out at 7-5 Mets. Beltran's next up in the "keep 'em fresh" day off rotation.)

But Chris Duncan's home run only tied the game. Then came the ninth. And admit it ... admit it right now: before SNY went to commercial after the top of the ninth, and you saw Carlos Muniz make his way out of the bullpen to face Albert Pujols, Rick Ankiel, and Troy Glaus, you got that sinking feeling in your stomach that Muniz was in the same position as all of those no-name ensigns on Star Trek that got killed on all those missions going out with Kirk, Bones, and Spock. Sure enough, Ankiel came within a few feet of winning the game before Glaus did the walk-off deed and sent Muniz back to New Orleans with not so good memories.

Ron Darling was asked after the game if the Mets would rather lose like last night than a 7-1 lifeless dud, and he said something to the effect of "no way ... they've had lifeless duds all season. Last night was much better." It's a non-aggravating way of saying "at least they battled". And that's what it has come down to.

But here's your perspective alert of the night: As much as we complain, take solace in the following:

• The Mets are only 4.5 back in a mediocre division.
• They have a four game set with the Phillies coming up.
• At least the Mets aren't moving.

Don't take that last one lightly. They say if it could happen to us, it could happen to anybody. And before ground broke on the Brooklyn Dodgers Shrine (Ebbets Queens), I firmly believe it could have happened to us. Yes, there are nights like tonight I wish the Mets would have moved to Oklahoma City (many of those nights coming in the last ten months). And no, I have no first hand knowledge of any discussions the Mets might have had in the last ten years about possibly moving to another market. And despite my natural leanings towards conspiracy theories, those discussions probably never existed.

But no ... considering this city's history with franchises exiling to California, I assume nothing. So yes, I'm thankful that what happened to the Seattle Sonics has not happened to the New York Mets (despite what happened last night). So I leave you with this:



(Editor's note: What I really hoped to find was an old Mello Yello commercial which featured former Sonic Gus Williams. The above was the closest thing I could find. Sorry.)

Range Rover

Even before the play where Ryan Church turned Pedro Feliciano's throwing error into a living breathing broken rule (never make the first out at third base), Ryan Church's range helped save the day. When Johan Santana had loaded the bases in the sixth with two outs and the score at 2-1 Mets, and Chris Young hit a flare to right field, Ryan Church hustled in to make a running catch to end the inning.

Not the most spectacular play in the world, and not one anyone will talk about, but let's face it: If that was Shawn Green, he would have tripped over his hat, been hit in the head with the ball, and two runs would have scored while Carlos Beltran watches in horror. But with Ryan Church there, it's not a problem, Church, along with David Wright and his phenomenal tag on Church's throw in the eight, won Sunday's game for the Mets.

Side note: apparently the Mets had Presidential candidate John McCain sit in on the SNY broadcast booth for a half inning or so. Some real world busywork took my attention away from the inning, but I'm not sure I would have had the sound up anyway. See, I prefer not to have politics with my sports (kinda like having ketchup with my ice cream) ... especially when I could turn to any 24 hour cable news channel or network news show if I want to hear anything about any of these candidates. Certainly, there's been enough out there in the past four years ... and one of the reasons I watch so much sports (whether it be baseball, hockey, football, or freakin' underwater dart throwing) is to stay away from any and all mind numbing political coverage. And believe me, I don't particularly care whether it's a candidate I like or one I'm not particularly fond of. I don't want them in my sports booth whether it's a convenient interview (he just happened to be there) or not.

But I'm glad about one thing: Since the Mets had a "great patriot" like John McCain in the broadcast booth, I guess the guy who cries about liberal mutts and great patriots every other post on this site now has his cue to shut up.

Forever.

And that's the straight talk.

Ha ha ha ha, I love it!!!

Let's Throw Ricardo Rincon Against The Wall And See If He Sticks

Actually, throwing Ricardo Rincon against the wall would be a really, really, bad idea. You see, Rincon is a tad fragile.

"The 37-year-old Rincon spent the early part of last season with the San Francisco Giants' Triple-A affiliate in Fresno, appearing in seven games before he suffered a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee.

The left-handed specialist pitched briefly with the St. Louis Cardinals in 2006 before undergoing surgery to repair a torn labrum and rotator cuff in his left shoulder.

Rincon's most recent full season in the big leagues was 2005, when he appeared in 67 games with the Oakland A's and recorded a 1-1 record and 4.34 earned run average in 67 games."

But in the Mets' philosophy of throwing various items against the wall to see if they stick, the Mets have signed the left handed reliever. With Billy Wagner, Pedro Feliciano, and Scott Schoeneweis lying around, Rincon will probably be shutting down guys in the eighth inning at New Orleans. But you never know. Maybe he'll stick to the wall if you throw him against it ... although gently placing him against the wall might be a better idea.

***

Unfortunately for Met fans, the world will have to endure the fresh hell that is LeBron James' new sneaker. With a navy blue color and pinstripes, it's an homage to the New York Yankees. There is hope though, as a yet unidentified NBA star has a sneaker in development which will be a tribute to the New York Mets ... and it'll hit the market at a cheap price.

The problem is that the sneaker falls apart after five and a half months.

A Sledgehammer To The Solar Plexus

How much more are we supposed to take?

A thirty foot roller up the third base line wasn't enough, was it...

An interference call wasn't enough, was it...

An 11-10 loss in the ninth wasn't enough, was it...
A misplayed pop-up by a back-up catcher wasn't enough, was it...

A misplayed fly ball into center field wasn't enough, was it...

Guillermo Mota wasn't enough, was it...

Ten errors in two days wasn't enough, was it...

Yadier Molina, Terry Pendleton, Kevin Elster picking up black cats, Armando Benitez, Mike Scioscia, Tom Seaver for Doug Flynn, firecrackers, bleach, Mel Rojas, Don Aase, Larry Jones, Brian Jordan, Art Howe, Adam Wainwright, Jimmy Qualls...they're not enough, are they...

What else can you do to our hearts, minds, and souls this season?

Maybe as the Mets are headed to Dolphin Stadium tomorrow, Cecil Wiggins can finish the job.

Maybe Wiggins was the one that threw that baseball at Aaron Heilman from the stands (and through all of the horror, Heilman was a major bright spot...not even I could have blamed him if he had spit the bit after being hit by a projectile from the stands...I don't trust him, but I give him a boat load of credit tonight.) Or maybe Wiggins had something to do with Country Time's back spasms, which kept him out of the game and wound up sealing our fate for Thursday night...and maybe our season.

You know what, bring up last year's Tigers all you want. Bring up last year's Cardinals all you want. I can't imagine that either of those teams experienced any loss last year like any loss the Mets have had this year. Either of those teams ever score four runs in the top of the ninth, only to have their "B" list bullpen give it all back in the bottom half of the frame, then lose it in the tenth.

And I doubt that this happened after their first baseman proclaimed their team to be the best in the league.

I doubt either of those teams had a right fielder that hits his second baseman in the nuts with an errant throw, then gets himself tossed, and probably suspended for a few games, because he felt that late in a game that may decided the division was the perfect time to work through his anger issues with Jim Joyce.

And I doubt that Jim Leyland or Tony La Russa responded to any of those losses with:

"We'll get 'em tomorrow."

We'll get 'em tomorrow?

I don't know if there's a right thing to say after a game like that. But "we'll get 'em tomorrow?" Really? That's what your uncle told you after you struck out to end a little league game. This, however, is the major leagues...and that's not what I need to hear. I trust that the speech to the players was a little bit different...at least I hope.

We'll get 'em tomorrow? You know what I'm getting tomorrow? Therapy. I need it...thanks to your team stabbing me in my heart. Again. It's all I can do to keep from jumping off a tall building into jagged concrete...twice.

(Editor's note: If you must blow the lead completely, please make it relatively painless from here on out.)

Nine Up: Seven Up

Wonder what people must be thinking now...I mean, those people who took glee in pointing out that the Mets couldn't beat the Braves this season?

4-8 from April-August.

5-1 in September.

Nine up. The entire season with the Braves is a wash...like it never happened. Except it did happen. It happened when it counted the most, in September. 5-1.

And now, with the Phillies somehow pulling the rare feat of turning a triple play in a 12-0 loss, the Mets are seven games up on the Phillies. You know what Philly? Sweep the Mets again. Go ahead. It'll barely make a dent. And besides, you'll give it back the following week when Lincoln High is on the schedule.

(Editor's note: The author of this blog would not like a sweep.)

I'm in such a philanthropic mood tonight that I'm not even going to kill Guillermo Mota for coughing up John Maine's well earned lead tonight in the top of the eighth. It's really sad when I lower my standards to the point where Mota giving up a lead with a seeing eye single instead of a grand slam counts as progress to me, but that's exactly what I've done. Besides, everyone in that bullpen contributed to the Braves tying the game. Mota, Aaron Heilman, Pedro Feliciano, Skip Lockwood, Dick Tidrow, Alejandro Pena, Jeff Musselman...everyone.

(Editor's note: The author of this blog is not philanthropic enough to want to see Guillermo Mota anywhere near a pressure situation in October.)

But Shawn Green took deposited a hanging slider into the outfield to drive home Carlos Beltran, and the Braves have been rocked to sleep.


The bed for the Phillies is waiting for them this weekend. All that's left is for the Mets to tuck them in.

Rock-a-bye Philly on the tree top...
When the wind blows, Shea Stadium will rock.
When Pat's bat breaks, the Phillies will fall...
And down will come Jimmy, Eaton, and all.

We hope.

Happiness Is A Warm Pitcher

Your ace has come.

We've waited so long for that special spark to return to the Mets. "Not the same team as last year", they say. "Passionless", they say. "They're not having fun", they say.

Pedro Martinez changes all that.

Pedro can make 'em dance and laugh and play all he wants. The true test will come in the days and weeks to come when Petey finds out whether he can do this long haul. The first test is out of the way. Now all he needs to do is deliver start after start after start. He isn't going to be counted on to be the Petey of old, nor should he be. But with Orlando Hernandez gone for a start, it's going to be doubly important that the ace be there consistently. Just keep the Mets in the game.

I'm going to try to resist the urge to believe that Pedro's mere presence is going to pick up the team like a magic elixir. As much as I want to believe that, and as much as there's evidence that it could be true, I'm not willing to put that much pressure on Pedro. Besides, it's going to take more than ten runs in one start to convince me. If the Mets can't consistently put runs on the scoresheet, I'm not willing to believe that it'll be because Petey's jokes aren't as funny as they used to be. But sometimes people respond to the weirdest mental crutch. Perhaps there is a good feeling that is permeating through the lockerroom now that Pedro has returned. And whether he shows it in the dugout with a dance, or shows it after covering first base with a fist pump, he's doing it however he can. So there's no more excuses for the rest of the team.

Your spiritual leader has come.

Don't waste him.

Meanwhile, I'm now officially on break until Friday...more so, you're the ones that get the break from me...enjoy. I, meanwhile, am off to attempt a rare feat: four baseball games attended in 48 hours. How do I do this, you ask? Tuesday night: Mets at Reds. Wednesday afternoon: Mets at Reds. Wednesday night: after what is hopefully less than a five hour drive, it's off to Wrigley Field for Dodgers at Cubs. Then it's a Thursday Dodgers/Cubs matinee before the long drive back to Cincinnati on Thursday night in preparation for a Friday morning flight home. The goal is to be in the stadium from first pitch to final out.

Until then, I'm not going to leave you guys with no direction or guidance while I'm gone. So while I'm out, I advise you all to print out the following, cut it out, and keep it in your wallet or purse for quick reference. Remember, be prepared while I'm gone.

(All praise due to the origins of this color coded system, The Sox Machine, where you can visit the original work of art here. I'm sure even our new friends at the Machine would agree that a bullpen advisory system is sorely needed at Shea, for the mental well being of our fans. Thank you.)