No Fights (Or Fight) On Picture Day

You want the Mets to acknowledge their history? Then we should have had Keith Hernandez and Darryl Strawberry go at it on picture day. Not like they haven't done it before, right? It's the 20th anniversary, for heaven's sake! They could have worn big oversized boxing gloves or something, or they could have played Wii Resort or something.

Instead, we live in a kinder, gentler time where Keith is preparing for a broadcast with Ron Darling and without Gary Cohen. And the only consternation happening on picture day these days is Jose Reyes complaining about people who think he's dogging it in his rehab. You know, they don't make photo day controversies like they did twenty years ago.

They also don't make first basemen like they did 20 years ago. With Keith in the broadcast booth, it was up to Daniel Murphy to man the area. He didn't fight anybody, but he also didn't catch David Wright's questionable throw to complete a double play and end the first inning. Instead, a 1-0 deficit turned into a 4-0 hole as Cody Ross hit a three run jack to make Wright, Murphy, and Pat Misch all pay for their individual indiscretions.

And since then, the baseball was kinda flat as the Mets slept through a 6-3 loss to the Marlins, which probably caused more indigestion than the free hot dogs that the Mets gave out on Wednesday. Bobby Ojeda wondered after the game why the Mets weren't motivated to beat the Marlins who knocked them out of the playoffs the last two seasons? The answer is probably the same as the one to the question "Why weren't the Mets motivated to beat the Marlins and keep them from knocking the Mets out of the playoffs?" That answer being, "How the &%$# do I know?" Hell, if I knew that I'd be the GM of this nonsense. Yeah, some of the players have returned from those last two collapses, but a lot of the players weren't even around for '07 and '08. If the players that were around aren't going to be that motivated, how can we expect Elmer Dessens to be motivated?

Funny thing is, Dessens has been the fantastic one this series, saving a run on a botched throw home by backing up the plate, and he pitched two scoreless innings. Maybe he is the motivated one.

(Editor's note: Keith and Ron minus Gary was very good tonight. I'm kinda diggin' these new combinations they're trying out while they continue to give us reasons to hold our interest. Keith and Ron without Gary is like having peanut butter and jelly without the bread. You can eat peanut butter and jelly with your fingers, and it will still taste very good. The bread holds the two together and makes the eating experience not only tasty, but neat. But I kinda like eating with my fingers too.)

Maybe they'll try some new things in the booth going forward this season. They've tried all their existing combinations. Perhaps next they can have me team with Gary Cohen for a broadcast ... Oh, sorry. The object is to hold their interest, not drive them away. If me talking about the Mets seems like a good idea to you, then you should seek help. But also, come to Amazin Tuesday at Two Boots Tavern this coming Tuesday where I'll be part of a star studded panel which will include accomplished authors such as Jon Springer, Greg Prince, and Jeff Pearlman. They'll probably perform readings from their critically acclaimed books. I'll be holding up photoshopped images of Mike Pelfrey as a Peanuts character. Yeah, I'm bringing a lot to the table. But come anyway, because despite my appearance, this event is going to rock the house. And the pizza will be tasty.

(By the way, did you realize that going into Wednesday, which was 09-09-09, that the Mets "tragic number" of losses and Phillies wins which would total elimination was nine? Yeah, very funny, baseball gods.)

On Golden Parn

"Doesn't he remind you of Henry Fonda? If Henry Fonda was a pitcher, that's how he would talk" -Bob Ojeda, on Bobby Parnell's postgame comments regarding getting out of a seventh inning jam

You know, I was about to go into a whole rant about why Snoop Manuel would bother to tell us that Parnell would still be in the starting rotation "for now" despite his struggles ... that pulling him in favor of, say, Jose Lima would have prevented Parnell to experience the fruits of his education, getting out of a bases loaded nobody out jam in the 7th inning en route to a 6-2 win, the Mets' second straight victory.

But after that comment by Ojeda, I'm not going to do it. Because I give up. I can't say or think of anything more bizarre, tangential, and maniacally brilliant than that. Well played, Bobby O. You win this round.

The Chan Ho Experience

It's always nice to beat the Philadelphia Phillies. But I'll be honest with you: If the Mets didn't do what they did to Chan Ho Park tonight, I would have gone on this space and called for the decertification of the Mets franchise. I would have lobbied the family of Chub Feeney to get that done.

Friday night was one that they had to have, and should have had. Thankfully, they didn't play down to the level of competition (translated: they didn't turn Chan Ho Park into Greg Maddux) and they indeed got that 7-4 win Friday night.

(As much as Mets fans and Phillies fans are blood enemies, fans of both teams will walk arm in arm on one fact: and that's the fact that Chan Ho Park stinks no matter what side of the rivalry he's on. I mean, Mike Pelfrey almost hit a homer off him.)

And I humbly pass along my title as soothsayer to Bobby O, who predicted before the game that Pedro Feliciano would be the deciding factor. He certainly was as important as anyone, as he pitched 1 2/3's innings facing the hard lefties and the somewhat difficult righties and minimized the damage in the sixth and seventh innings. Sure, one may point out that he did give up a dinger to Chase Utley and that he received a gift when Greg Dobbs ran the bases as if his eyes were bigger than his stomach. But last year, Pedro wasn't getting anyone out in that situation. He did what he had to do, which was get the ball to Putz (I love him more today than yesterday ... but hopefully not as much as tomorrow) and Frankie.

I don't know what to expect from Oliver Perez tomorrow. Well no, I take that back. I fully expect he's going to pitch like garbage. But it seems that whenever I have a strong feeling that way no matter who the pitcher, he comes up huge. And Perez does pitch well against the Phillies, so I'm all for Ollie staying in the rotation tomorrow. He absolutely can come up huge. I don't expect it, but that's why it could happen.

And by the way, Gary Sheffield will most likely be in the lineup tomorrow against Jamie Moyer. Lifetime, he's hitting .481 (13 for 27) with four home runs. So I expect success. But that's why an 0-for-4 will most likely happen.

Calling All Omens

True story for you:

So I'm waiting for my order at a Wendy's in New York City, when a young man approaches me to ask about my Rangers hat. I expressed concern about Game Four against the Caps later that night. That's when he told me that he was a Canadiens fan, and that he was getting ready to get swept later that night by the Bruins.

As we talked hockey, I told him that I had always wanted to go to a game in Montreal, that the place looked like it was hoppin' on Monday. He tells me that he's gone to plenty of games and indeed, Montreal's a nice spot for a hockey game. Then the following exchange occurs:

Him: My uncle played professional hockey.

Me: Really? (Expecting to hear that his uncle played three games for the Milwaukee Admirals or something)

Him: Yeah. He played professional for 20 years.

Me: Twenty years? Ummm ... if you don't mind me asking, who's your uncle?

Him: (Matter of factly): Guy Lafleur.

So before the biggest game of the Rangers season to date, and I run into not only the nephew of one of the greatest players of all time, but a former Ranger who was quite popular in his one season with the Rangers.

So I decided to take it as an omen, and felt better about that night's game.

Rangers 2 Capitals 1

If you've gotten this far in the blog post you're probably asking yourself "Why is he telling me this?"

I'm glad you asked, er ... yourself.

Because I could probably use one or two ... hundred ... similar omens regarding your New York Mets, who were about as present at Busch Stadium Wednesday night as I was.

So I implore of you: If you're a relative of a Hall of Famer who was once a New York Met, and you happen to see an annoyed looking guy wearing Mets paraphernalia, go up to him and give him a handshake and a smile ... and convince him that everything is going to be all right.

It doesn't matter how distant a relative you may be. You could be Rickey Henderson's third cousin. You could be Duke Snider's granddaughter. You could be Eddie Murray's grandniece. It doesn't matter. If you see a Met fan on the street, let him know you care.

Heck, at this point, your Met relative need not be a Hall of Famer. Dave Gallagher's fourth cousin twice removed? Dave Magadan's uncle in law? Jeff McKnight's baby mama? In fact, forget being related. You could be Kevin Mitchell's gardener, Nolan Ryan's limo driver. Butch Huskey's sous chef. Doesn't matter. Met fans need good omens right now. Because the Mets aren't providing any.

I mean, Joel Pineiro? Again? And this is especially disgusting because by all accounts (okay, by Bob Ojeda's account) Pineiro was merely ordinary compared to how he looked during the infamous three-hit shutout back in '07. Which means that the after the horrifying loss on Tuesday night, they bounced back about as high as a meatball dropped from seven stories. For a team that has had its mental toughness questioned, that's not a good sign.

"Even in April?"

Yes, even in April.

"If Joel Pineiro's relatives come up to me and ask me to attend their family reunion, what kind of omen is that?"

I don't know, but if you're a Met fan, you should probably run ... fast.