Saturday, September 15, 2007

A Letter Writing Campaign

Dear Metropolitan Transit Authority,

You suck.

Here's why:

Is there any reason why you find it necessary to perform track work in Queens on weekends where there is Met baseball? Sure, the seven train works...hooray. But you do realize that there are Mets fans that live near other train lines, no?

Take, for example, the R train...which was shut down today towards Roosevelt Ave. a transfer point for the all-important seven train. In itself, it may be no big deal. But when you make plans to meet someone at a certain train stop, then your plans have to change, then you can't get in contact because, oh I don't know, cell phones don't work underground, then there's a problem.

Because of you, Metropolitan Transit Authority, I lost a human being today. At this hour, I don't know where he is.

I would hope that he was smart enough to go home so that he could have at least enjoyed the game from the comfort of his living room, where he could have watched Willie Randolph morph into Mike Cubbage, and leave a lefthanded reliever in the game for his second inning of work to face a right handed batter, then give up a game tying home run to him. I would hope he actually made it home to see that. However, thanks to you, I'm not sure.

And because I took so much time looking for this person that you made missing, I am the only person in the history of Queens to leave at 11:45 AM for a 1PM start, and get to the game in the bottom of the second inning. As such, I did not receive my reversible bucket hat...only available to the first 25,000 fans. As far as I'm concerned you, the Metropolitan Transit Authority, owe me one bucket hat.

So once again, I give you this free advice: Track work in Queens when the Mets are on the road...track work in the Bronx when the other team is on the road. Simple, right? Or do we have to get the union heads in the office to discuss it. Hey, maybe you can strike over it! Because that was fun. I would like to use the privately owned bus companies to get to work as I did in December of 2005.

Oh wait, I can't. You bought them all!

I eagerly await my Mets bucket hat, the one that you owe me, in the mail. No need for you to take down my information, I'll be the one holding my breath by my mailbox. I will not be hard to spot.

Yours,

Metstradamus
(All this talk of bucket hats reminds Metstradamus that he needs to type one more complaint letter.)
Dear New York Mets Marketing Department,

What ever happened to the days where giveaway days gave something away to everyone that had a ticket, and not just the first XX,XXX amount of fans through the gates, ensuring that more fans will come to the ballpark early and, with nothing to do, will buy more of your mediocre food and overpriced souvenirs with one extra hour in the ballpark?

Are those days dead and buried forever? If so, please tell me so I can set my clock two hours ahead until the end of time. Of course, if I keep setting my clock ahead, the end of time will come sooner than expected. Which is sad, really...because it's that many less games that I will get a chance to attend and enjoy for six innings (plus an hour before the game to make sure I get my bucket hat), before our all-star caliber center fielder will inevitably morph into Jerry Morales at a key moment in the game, ensuring a loss to the Phillies for the 732nd straight time.

I would think that with all of the success that your club has enjoyed recently that you could scrounge up enough for an extra 25,000-30,000 reversible bucket hats. And before you go blaming the sponsor for that, keep in mind that the sponsor happens to be Gulf. Have you seen the price of oil lately? I think they've made enough money to manufacture extra bucket hats.

Realize this, at this very moment, there is a Phillies fan with a Mets bucket hat that is rightfully mine. That Phillies fan is probably burning it in effigy. I hope you can live with that on your conscience.

And Lord help me if I see even one reversible bucket hat sponsored by Gulf for sale on your website.

Thank you, Mets Marketing Department, for reminding me that there are days that I just shouldn't get out of bed.

Losingly yours,

Metstradamus

9 comments:

Mike said...

My thoughts about today's game: What a fuckin' disaster.

That's about it, right?

kyle in newport news said...

You just used not one but two meticulously crafted frame stories to comment on the events of today's game. I've been waiting a long time and hope to be waiting a long time further for the day when you finally run out of new ideas.

Unser said...

A bucket hat would have been useful yesterday . . . to puke into.

Good thing they urge us to take mass transit, huh?

Reyes should be fined for that attempted steal of third with two outs and Wright at bat. God awful move, as was Willie's leaving in Feliciano to pitch to Rowand. But let's face it, if we could have scored a few more runs against the worst pitching staff in the league, none of this would have mattered. Let's get the bats going, please!

Ceetar said...

I agree wholeheartedly on the promotion thing, I just don't get it. I also don't get why they aren't marketed John Maine, Oliver Perez..and even Joe Smith shirts and jerseys all over the place. Surely they realize we'd be buying them?

The damn yankees already have freaking Chamberlain shirts..although talk about tricking fans into the stadium early, Monument park _closes_ and hour before the game starts, so If you want to see it, that's at least an extra hour of crappy $8.25 beer. Why do they close it? Oh, so they can seat people in there on folding chairs for who knows how much money.

upstate met fan said...

Are the phillies the new braves?

Before the series started I said to my buddy that I wanted two out of three and on the thrid game I wanted Rollings beaned and on the dirt.

Instead Philies have two games and wright gets hit.

Opposite day?

upstate met fan said...

how 'bout you update reyes walks? maybe we'll win today?

Mike said...

Reyes should be fined for that attempted steal of third with two outs and Wright at bat

I'd argue that Reyes should be executed for that move, but then we'd have no shortstop.

That was the worst play I've seen from the Randolph Mets since Beltran didn't run out a pop-up back in '05.

Demitri said...

But hey- NLDS tix go on sale Monday!

Hope they make it.

Demitri said...

Oh yeah - they should have worn Rockies Uniforms for the series.

Maybe they are the new Braves. But even the Piazza / Leiter / Ventura Mets of 1999-2001 would have taken 1 game at least, especially at home. I've never seen anything like this.