Dear Metropolitan Transit Authority,(All this talk of bucket hats reminds Metstradamus that he needs to type one more complaint letter.)
Is there any reason why you find it necessary to perform track work in Queens on weekends where there is Met baseball? Sure, the seven train works...hooray. But you do realize that there are Mets fans that live near other train lines, no?
Take, for example, the R train...which was shut down today towards Roosevelt Ave. a transfer point for the all-important seven train. In itself, it may be no big deal. But when you make plans to meet someone at a certain train stop, then your plans have to change, then you can't get in contact because, oh I don't know, cell phones don't work underground, then there's a problem.
Because of you, Metropolitan Transit Authority, I lost a human being today. At this hour, I don't know where he is.
I would hope that he was smart enough to go home so that he could have at least enjoyed the game from the comfort of his living room, where he could have watched Willie Randolph morph into Mike Cubbage, and leave a lefthanded reliever in the game for his second inning of work to face a right handed batter, then give up a game tying home run to him. I would hope he actually made it home to see that. However, thanks to you, I'm not sure.
And because I took so much time looking for this person that you made missing, I am the only person in the history of Queens to leave at 11:45 AM for a 1PM start, and get to the game in the bottom of the second inning. As such, I did not receive my reversible bucket hat...only available to the first 25,000 fans. As far as I'm concerned you, the Metropolitan Transit Authority, owe me one bucket hat.
So once again, I give you this free advice: Track work in Queens when the Mets are on the road...track work in the Bronx when the other team is on the road. Simple, right? Or do we have to get the union heads in the office to discuss it. Hey, maybe you can strike over it! Because that was fun. I would like to use the privately owned bus companies to get to work as I did in December of 2005.
Oh wait, I can't. You bought them all!
I eagerly await my Mets bucket hat, the one that you owe me, in the mail. No need for you to take down my information, I'll be the one holding my breath by my mailbox. I will not be hard to spot.
Dear New York Mets Marketing Department,
What ever happened to the days where giveaway days gave something away to everyone that had a ticket, and not just the first XX,XXX amount of fans through the gates, ensuring that more fans will come to the ballpark early and, with nothing to do, will buy more of your mediocre food and overpriced souvenirs with one extra hour in the ballpark?
Are those days dead and buried forever? If so, please tell me so I can set my clock two hours ahead until the end of time. Of course, if I keep setting my clock ahead, the end of time will come sooner than expected. Which is sad, really...because it's that many less games that I will get a chance to attend and enjoy for six innings (plus an hour before the game to make sure I get my bucket hat), before our all-star caliber center fielder will inevitably morph into Jerry Morales at a key moment in the game, ensuring a loss to the Phillies for the 732nd straight time.
I would think that with all of the success that your club has enjoyed recently that you could scrounge up enough for an extra 25,000-30,000 reversible bucket hats. And before you go blaming the sponsor for that, keep in mind that the sponsor happens to be Gulf. Have you seen the price of oil lately? I think they've made enough money to manufacture extra bucket hats.
Realize this, at this very moment, there is a Phillies fan with a Mets bucket hat that is rightfully mine. That Phillies fan is probably burning it in effigy. I hope you can live with that on your conscience.
And Lord help me if I see even one reversible bucket hat sponsored by Gulf for sale on your website.
Thank you, Mets Marketing Department, for reminding me that there are days that I just shouldn't get out of bed.