Wednesday, August 27, 2008

What A Twist!

You want to know what it's like to be a Mets fan?

At about 11:00 every night (except for maybe a day off every three weeks), read "The Tortoise and the Hare". Don't read any other books except that one.

Because the Mets season is the same damn story all the time ... the script doesn't change:
  • Score a bunch of runs in the first three or four innings.
  • Take a nap.
  • Watch the other team pass you at the end and celebrate off your bullpen.
Wash, rinse, repeat.

"But Metstradamus, last night's game was a great game, I'd hardly call it the same old story".

Okay, so it was "The Tortoise and the Hare" adapted by Tolstoy. It doesn't matter. It's the same story. There's a tortoise, there's a hare, and the Mets lose. You could get Martin Scorsese to direct the movie version ... or you could get Ang Lee to direct it. The ending remains the same. Mets lose.

If the 2008 Mets were a sitcom, it would have been cancelled by now for being too predictable.

You could change the players (Luis Ayala as closer ... any more good ideas?) even put some character actors in leading roles (Aaron Heilman as vanquished hero is kinda like Brian Dennehy as Bobby Knight, it just doesn't look right), but it's the same movie ... the same book ... the same poem.

Well screw this, I'm changing the postscript. You see, this is the part where Metstradamus goes insane. Not tonight. In addition to being too tired and too numb from the 4,912th gut wrenching loss in the last two years, I present to you the following: The Mets have come back from many of these types of losses this season with some great efforts ... and they have the right guy on the mound tonight to make it happen. And if he does, it's a split.

There, optimistic and level headed. How's that for a surprise ending.

(And if Santana can't make it happen, then we could always hope for Brian Fuentes to be claimed by the Mets on waivers. Or maybe that nine-year-old that's too good for his little league team can come help out.)


Mike said...

It might be the same story, but last night was the 3 1/2 hour, star-studded, Oscar-contending epic version of what's been a series of low-budget, hour-and-a-half boilerplaters.

Blown seven run leads, in any ballpark, against any opponent, will shatter box office records.

tim said...

Anyone want to take odds on Johan pulling a complete game tonight?

Can Al Reyes be far away?

Rickey Henderson said...

Phucking Philth. Rickey is perturbed and queasy after last night.

Unser said...

Someone needs to explain to me how, as a Met fan, last night's game was "great". Seven run lead . . . and the Phils tie it on a 2 out 9th inning double by a .216 hitter.

And, hey, someone needs to remind the Mets line-up that the game DOESN'T END IN THE 4TH FRIGGIN' INNING!!! Those pitches you're getting from the 5th through 9th innings . . . they count! As you say, the Roy Orbison syndrome . . . although Roy is in Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

I can't say I'm as optimistic as you are MD. Too many of these gut wrenching losses, primarily due to a bullpen that can't hold multiple run leads and a line-up which shuts down in the middle of the game. I'll be very impressed if they can rebound from last night.

Demitri said...

I hear Chewbacca is available:

It is so repetitive. How many times have we seen headlines like "Devastating Loss" or "XXX Stun Mets". I think they are used to losses like this. Maybe thats a good thing and we can hope for a bounceback.

They do HAVE to figure out how to win these games somehow though, or they are going nowhere.

yankees4life said...

BwHaHa! another crippling loss for your pathetic team! We've lost our best two pitchers and are still in contention, you've only lost scrub corner outfielders and are struggling in the pathetic NL. Great job signing Pedro, he was worth every penny. ha ha Losers

Anonymous said...


I can't believe that you are falling for the "no late inning offense" BS. Mark Jackson must be rolling over in his grave. You're better than that Metstra. The Mets' late-inning offense has got to be the biggest non-story story since Elian Gonzalez. Put it this way. If the Mets had simply flip-flopped the same offensive performance, scoring late rather than early, would that make you feel better about giving up 8 runs? We still lose by 1. Seven runs is enough for any pitching staff to work with regardless of when they score. How realistic is it to ask for more runs? On the other hand it's not unreasonable to ask a so-called major league relief pitchers to at least attempt to set hitters up and keep the ball off the middle of the damn plate.

Did the Met offense blow some opportunities to score tack on runs? Absolutely, but plenty of those opportunities were also in the first 4 innings; not just the last nine.

If our bullpen were just league average the story would be about how we jump on teams early and never let 'em back in the game.

Anonymous said...

you should just create a Mad Libs Mets-Phillies template to save time on future posts

weesle909 said...

Here is the differential in runs scored vs. allowed by the Mets:

Innings 1,2,3 +122
Innings 4,5,6 -2
Innings 7,8,9 -51

They have 60 losses. In 38 of those they had the lead.

What else needs to be said?

kennyd said...

Pretty soon some manager is going to figure out that against the Mets you just have to pull your starter after the first inning (or maybe even the first batter.) Clearly the Mets have proven that it doesn't matter how accomplished or weak the opposing bullpen is, they can't touch them. They barely get baserunners against relivers, making it all the more painful hitting into double plays late and failing to capitalize on their few opportunities.

Nuri said...

great and prescient post by metstra!