Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Suspending Your Belief

Here's a pet peeve of mine: When a story on the news is teased with "you're not going to believe this". Happens all the time, and it kills me every time. On Monday night, it was Kirk Gimenez's turn to use the ultimate tease, as in: "News about Carlos Beltran's knee that you will not believe."

Usually when someone on television says: "You're not going to believe what ... or where ... or why", the information usually turns out to be quite ordinary and can only hit "limp" on the "Unbelievable" scale. Here a tip for you news teasers: Unless Carlos Beltran's knee is:
  • a member of the Taliban
  • selling military secrets to New Zealand, or
  • dating Lauren Conrad
chances are I would probably believe it.

Turns out the news was that Beltran's knee, which was already sore, was going to be the subject of a Tuesday MRI. Why wouldn't I believe that? With all of the Mets that have been a part of the M*A*S*H unit this season, of course I'd believe it. Nothing surprises me anymore with any injuries whatsoever. The only surprise would be if the MRI showed a tear or a snap caused by stress, or perhaps gremlins, and the Mets actually did the prudent thing and put him on the disabled list. I think Omar Minaya wants to see if Snoop Manuel can win a game with seven players. That would be a tough trick ... even against the Nationals.

The tougher trick would be to win against the Nationals with the bullpen unable to find the plate with a GPS device. But turn that trick they did, with the help of some more video replay goodness on Gary Sheffield's deciding three run HR (see kids, technology is your friend.) The bullpen gave six free passes in the final three innings, including three by Bobby Parnell. But they slogged through and helped preserve John Maine's nice outing (six innings, four hits, three walks, one run).

On Tuesday, it's Livan Hernandez against his old team. Will he continue his halfway decent season? Will he implode? Will the game be played under playground rules, where all the fielders are on the left side of the field except for the first baseman due to all the Mets injuries?

Chances are, whatever happens, you're going to believe it.


G-Fafif said...

SNY seems to have two company-approved stock phrases: "You're not going to believe..." and "Wait until you hear..." as in "Wait until you hear what Brett Favre has said now." Since that usually comes about 20 minutes into SportsNite, I've figured out it means he's said something other than "I'm unretiring again," which come to think of it wouldn't be all that worth waiting for based on the last time he did it.

wendysito said...

I love playground rules.

tommy_calzone said...

Since Belt has been here when hasn't his knee(s) been an issue?

Love the way he's playing right now minus the slidephobia he had earlier in the year but when it comes to CBel and his legs like you say, I'd believe just about anything.

Just an aside, Manual ain't my favorite but when is Omar gonna do something to give the man some options and flexibility?

Hazeleyes said...

If it's bad news concerning hips, knees, elbows and Mets I will certainly believe it.

Whenever the newsies get all hyped about something I know the story is a nonstarter.

The only report I would find shocking is that every Met showed up at the ballpark healthy and ready to play.

I would drop dead right on the living room floor.

number15 said...

why is our farm system so bad?

Anonymous said...

You are NOT going to believe this...Livan just pitched a complete game...