Monday, May 25, 2009

Job Opening

Rey: Taxi!

(Shags cab and enters)

Cabbie: Where to?

Rey: Shea Stadium.

Cabbie: Umm, you know that place don't exist no more.

Rey: Huh?

Cabbie: Yeah, they tore that down, the Mets don't play there no more.

Rey: Then take me to wherever the heck they play.

Cabbie: Umm, you know they're on the road right now.

Rey: I know ... I also no they have no more shortstops left. So I figured I have a chance to play.

Cabbie: Oh yeah, and what's your credentials?

Rey: Are you kidding, I was part of the greatest infield ever!

Cabbie: Please. Where was that, Franklin High? Now the '99 Mets, that was the greatest infield ever.

Rey: I know! I was on that infield!

Cabbie: Yeah right. Who do you think you are, Rey Ordonez?

Rey: Yeah! I'm Rey Ordonez.

Cabbie: Well hello Rey! I'm John Olerud. Let me put on my batting helmet. Heh heh heh.

Rey: No, I'm serious!

Cabbie: Okay, you're Rey Ordonez. Whatever. Look, it's going to take more than one loss to get the Mets to let a guy off the street ... oh, sorry, "former world class athlete" to play shortstop

Rey: Look, I can still catch the ball. I can't hit, but I never could hit. But the Mets lost not only the game but like ... eight shortstops to injury. It's time to come back and be a Met again.

Cabbie: Please.

Rey: Just leave me off right here, in front of the rotunda.

Cabbie: I hope you get the job.

Rey: Thanks (pays and leaves).

Cabbie: He don't tip like no major leaguer.

(Rey rushes to the offices, but finds out he's too late to re-claim his job.)


1 comment:

MetFanMac said...

I think it's safe to say that we've identified the 2009 Mets' biggest obstacle to success: Injuries.