It's A Real Hit

Brian Schneider hit a three run home run on Friday.

Do I really have to say that?

You would be right to expect that Schneider's robust home run production would drop significantly in 2009. After all, the pitcher who Schneider has hit the most home runs off became his teammate this season.

That would be Tim Redding. And that home run total off him would be the robust number of 2.

"I'm not saying that."

So who knew that Schneider would blast one off Andy Sonnanstine in the second inning on Friday ... and to the deepest part of the longest baseball cave east of San Diego? I sure as heck didn't. And really, what does this say about Sonnanstine?

"I'm not saying that either."

Did you ever think you would hear this sentence: "Led by Brian Schneider and Fernando Nieve, the Mets closed to within two games of the Philadelphia Phillies for first place." Really? You saw this coming? Well, you might want to take that bottled water you're holding and douse your crotch ... for your pants are on fire.

Or if you prefer to keep your water to drink, then just wait until Saturday's game, which is forecasted to have an 80% chance of rain, so just walk outside with your blazing pants. And watch as Johan Santana hopes for an extra day off for his blister to heal and for his velocity to return so that we all stop panicking. Yeah, like a great outing from Johan will seriously prevent Mets fans from panicking.

Maybe if Fernando Martinez finds his stroke in Buffalo, if Nick Evans ate enough carrots while in Binghamton to combat his apparent night blindness (0 hits in Buffalo during night games), and Brian Schneider can hit .280 we'll stop with the panicking.

"That's it, I'm not doing this."