Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Great Half Truths In Battle

When Dan Warthen told J.J. Putz that his new hand placement would do the trick, who knew that it would be the greatest miscalculation since General Custer said "Look ... Over the hill ... I think they're friendly indians".

Sorry, that was Ed Norton.

J.J. Putz becomes the latest casualty to lie alongside his friends in the annals of great PNC Park meltdowns, as his awful eighth inning wasted three Wilson Valdez RBI's, which is simply shameful since he'll likely not drive in three runs the rest of his career. It happened on his second try as he attempted to get his Pirate disaster out of the way at home earlier this season, but they say that if at first you don't succeed, try try again. At least Putz has that "sticktoittiveness" (the sports world is famous for making up words.) And at least, as Putz and Snoop Manuel noted, he threw strikes.

Comforting, I know.

But don't worry, because Putz will get a mental break on Tuesday while the rest of us will no doubt endure another night of the emotional water torture known as Mets baseball. And more good news kids, as for the foreseeable future, Putz will only come in the game if the matchup is "extremely favorable". I know we're talking about the Pirates and Nationals, but to the best of my knowledge there are no seven-year-old girls on either roster. So Putz will probably be sharing some hostel space with Sean Green for a while.

The best news of the night though is this: at least any and all Bobby Parnell trade rumors ended tonight.

All I know is that the matchups had better get extremely favorable, extremely quick. Because Warthen is running out of places to put J.J.'s hands.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

what is this? the 5th annual PNC meltdown or something? I've lost track...

Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

Unser said...

The Looper game was all I was thinking about in that 8th inning.

Did anyone follow up on Putz's idiotic "I don't have enough adrenalin in the 8th" excuse?

Schneck said...

That picture will give me nightmares that might rival my nightly Met nightmare.

number15 said...

are those real baby hands?

Dr. Oz said...

Get ready for more water torture. Producer from SNY on the Mets charter flight from Pitt has swine flu. Met players are being tested. Story was on NBC NY news tonight. Only can happen to the Mets.

Coop said...

'Damus. You are the fuckin man. Just wanted to make that clear.