Great Half Truths In Battle

When Dan Warthen told J.J. Putz that his new hand placement would do the trick, who knew that it would be the greatest miscalculation since General Custer said "Look ... Over the hill ... I think they're friendly indians".

Sorry, that was Ed Norton.

J.J. Putz becomes the latest casualty to lie alongside his friends in the annals of great PNC Park meltdowns, as his awful eighth inning wasted three Wilson Valdez RBI's, which is simply shameful since he'll likely not drive in three runs the rest of his career. It happened on his second try as he attempted to get his Pirate disaster out of the way at home earlier this season, but they say that if at first you don't succeed, try try again. At least Putz has that "sticktoittiveness" (the sports world is famous for making up words.) And at least, as Putz and Snoop Manuel noted, he threw strikes.

Comforting, I know.

But don't worry, because Putz will get a mental break on Tuesday while the rest of us will no doubt endure another night of the emotional water torture known as Mets baseball. And more good news kids, as for the foreseeable future, Putz will only come in the game if the matchup is "extremely favorable". I know we're talking about the Pirates and Nationals, but to the best of my knowledge there are no seven-year-old girls on either roster. So Putz will probably be sharing some hostel space with Sean Green for a while.

The best news of the night though is this: at least any and all Bobby Parnell trade rumors ended tonight.

All I know is that the matchups had better get extremely favorable, extremely quick. Because Warthen is running out of places to put J.J.'s hands.