Monday, June 29, 2009

A Cherry On Top Of The Worst Subway Sundae Ever

There are a couple of blogger standbys that I could resort too. But as I type this, I'm not sure which one fits better. I go back and forth between:
  • Proclaiming the 2009 season to be over, done, kaput, or ...
  • Proclaiming that the New York Mets should volunteer for contraction and cease operations.
They both sound like decent options.

Consider if you will: I wrote a post not so long ago coming up with some too funny to be true scenarios on how much worse losses can get this season. If I had come up with Frankie Rodriguez walking Derek Jeter to get to Mariano Rivera (after throwing Derek Jeter a hittable pitch to lead off the at-bat), and then walking Mariano Rivera for his first career RBI, I would bet that none of you would have thought that was more remotely plausible than any of the others on that list.

Yet, here we are, left to pick up the pieces while we sit at our keyboards trying to make sense of another 21st century laughingstock moment for this franchise.

In the big picture, Frankie walking Rivera (and if I have to hear Jon Miller call him "The Great Rivera" one more f-ing time, I'm going to stab my eyes and ears until I'm bleeding all over both the hardwood floors and the Tuscany tiles) with the bases loaded had nothing to do with the eventual outcome of the ballgame. But in the bigger picture, gee ... how about not walking a guy with two lifetime at-bats in fourteen years with the bases loaded? How about that??? How about losing a ball game without walking Mariano Rivera on national television? Am I asking for a lot? I'm not even asking for a win, I just want to be able to be able to leave my apartment without having to wear a paper bag over my head!!!

I mean, for crying out loud, Derek Jeter is smirking at the plate!!! Everyone in the dugout is trying not to bust a gut laughing. This is a moment that's a big joke to everyone wearing gray. And Frankie goes out and turns the joke right around on the Mets, as usual. I mean, how hard is Brian Bruney laughing right now? How hard are the Yankees laughing right now? They go into their off day as the happiest team in baseball, the sun shining on their world as usual. The Mets, meanwhile, get to take a plane ride to Milwaukee to begin their own personal death march towards another disastrous end of the season. And the only thing left for Frankie to do is to whip off that mask and expose to the world that he's merely Armando Benitez in disguise.

Mariano Rivera!!! He's about as useful a hitter as Dan Warthen is when he stands in the batters' box in the bullpen to simulate a live hitter! Dammit!

And one thing I don't want to hear until the Mets reel off seven in a row is how resilient this team is. Everybody wanted to drink the Kool-Aid after the Mets won the first game after Carlos Beltran went down ... and maybe because we've all been so desperate to see some resilience in this team that to see the Mets win without the bulk of their production was cause for celebration. Well guess what? Taking three of four from the Cardinals is a distant memory. But I'm sure that if the Mets go and win on Monday, we'll hear all this chatter from Snoop Manuel about how resilient this team is and how they're able to bounce back from tough losses.

Great! Then they'll lose two more to Milwaukee ... forcing the whole resiliency cycle to start again. So Snoop, how about laying off bragging about how the team is resilient until they actually get some distance between themselves and .500, the Braves, and the Marlins, whaddaya say? And while we're at it, how about letting go of the hallucination that Fernando Tatis can actually bunt? How about that?

And about that whole "shorthanded" thing? Sorry, marginal major leaguers should be able to get through an inning without kicking the ball around as if it had metal spikes laced with acid on them. And decent major leaguers should be able to handle a guy who comes into a game with an 0-6 record and an ERA of 11.60.

Eleven. Point. Sixty.

Oh, the Mets are shorthanded, boo-hoo. I was willing to go with that against CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett. Against Chien-Ming Wang? No, you're going to have to do better than that. I mean, David Wright's a legitimate major leaguer, right? Right. A bonafide major leaguer who leads the N.L. in hitting, and couldn't get a freakin' hit during this whole freakin' series. Not one!

So yeah, I don't want to hear anything about shorthanded, resiliency, nor do I even want to hear anybody tell me "But Metstradamus ... Ya Gotta Believe". Because let's get one thing straight: After Ryan Church misses third base with the winning run, Luis Castillo drops the final out of a game, and BB-Rod walks Mariano Rivera with the bases loaded in the same season, the statute of limitations on my obligation to believe has officially run out. And I don't gotta do a damn thing except pay taxes and die.


James Allen said...

I don't know what made me more angry, the walk itself or watching the Yanks laugh it up the whole time. Resiliency my ass, this is a team that just knows how to make a tough situation look pathetic. I'm with you, M, I'm not buying this lovable underdog line. Besides, these guys aren't all that lovable.

Injuries didn't make Ryan Church miss third. Injuries didn't make Castillo drop a pop-up, and injuries sure as shit didn't cause Rodriguez to walk a guy who had less of a chance of getting a hit than I would have. Mike Francesa's going to be chortling into his diet coke for 5 1/2 hours today.

Unser said...

Sorry, but I have to ask the question again. Who the f - - - is coaching this team!!! There is no excuse for ANY major leaguer to try to get the first out at third base IN THE FIRST INNING on a groundball TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE INFIELD!!! Manuel talks as if he playing scabs out there. No - you have to know these basic fundamental rules. Blame the Mets' coaching staff, top to bottom, majors and minors.

And I've heard enough BS about how the margin for error is so thin given the injuries. No contending team makes these types of blunders - NONE! In fact, mediocre teams don't do these things.

The one thing I like is letting Martinez hit against Coke and Hughes. Let the kid play - I don't care that he failed. Who the hell else do they have that would instill any confidence.

At this point, I consider it a victory if we avoid getting no-hit.

Schneck said...

The second that Jeter was given the gift of a pitch he could hit, the Wilpon's should have sent security down to pull Jerry Manuel immediately and make him leave the stadium. Of course, it is possible that he refused to walk Jeter, at first, because he knew that he'd have trouble throwing strikes to the threat at the plate that is Mariano. The Mets can't hit Chien Ming Wang and K-Rod can't throw strikes to Mariano. Just when you think it can't get worse they find a way. So what's left? Maybe we can no hit two or three days in a row? Allow 10 unearned runs on no hits in an inning? Something's got to give.

The Metmaster said...

I was at the horror show on Friday night with the 3 errors in the second inning. Didn't think it could get worse than that. I was wrong. Unser is correct. I've never seen a team as badly coached as this one. Manuel's act is tired and old. I don't think the team even listens to the coaching staff. I heard Manuel on the FAN a couple of weeks ago say that all the pitchers have the green light to either bunt or hit away if the situation warrants. Huh? Did Manuel call for the disastrous Hernandez hit and run against the Cardinals or did Livan exercise his green light option? Manuel's an idiot, Omar's a boob, the Wilpons are broke, and Citi Field sucks. Just another day in the Mets universe.

The Metmaster said...

Who would have ever believed it's come to this....Met fans saying "Ok, we have Nieve on the mound tonight".

kjs said...


Yeah, I understand the rock-and-a-hard-place Jerry Manuel is in with this team and it's bizarre karma. Dealing with a con man like Minaya and bottom-line Met-fan hating Dodger fans like the Wilpons is difficult, too. But he's really wearing thin on me both as a manager and a man. How refreshing it would be to have a bastard as a manager who will say after a loss: "Sorry, media, no press conference tonight. It's time for a closed-door meeting and to knock over the catered dinner...and Omar, you wanker---stop shilling and take remedial action, call the season over, or I'm gone from tghis mess!"
However, ain't gonna happen...

Dan said...

Man, what a relief to have taken a vacation from all this whining from my fellow Mets fans. It really is pathetic how down on this team you and your readers seem to be Metstradamus.

Fault Omar, sure. For not addressing the missing power before the Mets faced this tough month of games. But the manager? What’s he supposed to do?

And K-Rod? You’re ranting about K-Rod walking Rivera in the ninth inning? Big deal. The guy has been excellent. He’s the only reason we’re close to the Phillies.

We Mets fans are a tad overdramatic, wouldn’t you say?

Calm down people. The Mets simply ran into the Yankees at the wrong time. If the season goes bust again, are you actually going to whine, stomp, and moan the entire way.

Don’t you realize that we’re in freakin contention, with a realistic chance of making the playoffs? And we’re doing it with a collection of bench players, minor leaguers (Murphy, Martinez), and AAAA players. Wright and Castillo are the only legitimate major league starters in the lineup everyday. (I can't count Sheffield because a) he isn't in the lineup everyday and b) at his advanced age, it would be hard to consider him an everyday player.)

And the manager doesn’t have a right to cite injuries when the team loses? And the manager doesn’t have a right to say he’s proud of his team when they come back after devastating defeats?

Do you realize where the Yankees would be without Texiera, Rodriguez, and Jeter?

Or where the Phillies would be without Utley, Rollins, and Howard?

Or where the Red Sox would be without Bay, Pedroia, and Youkilis?

Sit back and enjoy the ride for chrissakes.

fredstradamus said...

"Resilient" is the new "we battled". Jerry must go.

Schneck said...

I agree with you kjs. Manuel has to go. At first, I liked him a bit more than Willie as he seemed to be a relatively straight talker. Unfortunately, he's looking more and more clueless as manager. He should give up this gig and go into stand up comedy as he still manages to entertain the reporters but he can't motivate his team. Bobby V, where are you?

Anonymous said...

can it get any worse than the last 3 days??there are bad teams and depressing teams..bad i can deal with.depressing is tougher.the last 3 days was the height of depressing baseball.that's why i voted in the poll to cease operations.this organization is clueless from the owners to the gm and the manager and the choking, prima donna core of the team.i've got one ticket left for the season and i refuse to go again until something radically changes from the top down.btw, adding extra lines at shake shack does not qualify as radical.

Schneck said...

Well Dan it sounds like it's time for another vacation, then.

gary said...

dan, thanks for cheering everybody up.just one thing, when we had beltran and reyes and delgado, where did we end up the last 2 years??u sound like minaya.he thinks he made the playoffs the last 2 years also..

Joe Cook said...

The saddest thing is that some of the depression has become predictable. Once we walked Jeter to get to Mariano, I said to the people watching with me (who painfully were Yankee fans) that I would bet Mariano would either walk or hit a grand slam (remember, both grand slams we gave up last year were to pitchers -- one an AL pitcher). With a team that already had walked -- what? -- 11 guys on the night, loading the bases intentionally just doesn't seem like a good idea, no matter who's on deck. How sad is it that Derek Jeter seems like a better option to face just so we can't WALK in a run?

Dan said...

All I’m saying is a) it’s still relatively early and b) despite all of the injuries, the Mets are in contention. Is it so wrong to see the glass half-full?

I guess I’m just really impressed with how the team has played, aside from the Yankee series, since the Reyes injury. And I really like Alex Cora. I just love the guy. Even if everything goes wrong, I’ll be proud to say that Alex Cora spent a season in a Mets uniform.

I can’t defend Omar. But you have to admit the injuries have decimated this team to the point where it’s almost difficult to evaluate the general manager’s performance. By now he should have made a trade to address the Mets lack of power. That I would agree with.

What I think really hurt the Mets was overrating Daniel Murphy before the season started. Let’s be honest. They were expecting too much from him. He doesn’t look like an athlete. I honestly hope I’m wrong about this, but I don’t think he’s a major leaguer.

The reason the Mets are losing is because guys like Fernando Tatis, Ryan Church, and Daniel Murphy, frankly, stink. Or have no pop. I think Church is a capable starting outfielder, but he’s not a very good hitter. The manager is being realistic. No matter what Jerry does he’s fielding a team that has at least four bench/minor leaguers.

Anonymous said...

Maybe "K-Rod" can explain why he didn't rear back and THROW 3 FASTBALLS RIGHT OVER THE GODDAMNED PLATE!!! The guy was at the plate for like the THIRD TIME in his ENTIRE CAREER!!! Getting cutesy while an AMERICAN LEAGUE RELIEF PITCHER is at bat? Why? Why must they find the absolute most humiliating ways to lose games? I'm out of patience with this bunch and I believe it's nearly time for a total teardown.

The Metmaster said...

How well the team has played since Reyes got hurt?! Where did you go on vacation? Neverland? The Mets are 9-16 in the month of June playing powerhouses like the Pirates, Nats and Orioles. If the Phillies didn't go in the shitter for a couple of weeks you would need sonar to find the Mets in the standings. Hate to break the news to you pal, but there's no Easter Bunny either.

Dan said...

I’ll step away now and go back to Neverland, but before I do let me say not having to ride this Mets roller-coaster every day is awfully rewarding.

Keep hating and grousing and moaning Mets fans. (Unfortunately) It’s what we do best.

Anonymous said...

Get ready for chokefest 2009, bitches!