Flowery Adjectives And Far Out Metaphors Are For Suckers: Tom Glavine Is Good!

I was told a long time ago to keep it simple, stupid. And it's this advice that reminds me that sometimes, it's enough just to state the obvious.

No need to let us know that Tom Glavine is reaching back to a time ten years ago when he was coming off a World Series MVP award. There's no need to tell us that the soft tosser is getting better with age. No flowery language, no comparisons to fine wine, and no reason at all to use the word "vintage".

The old man is kicking ass.

That's all you need to say.

He struck out ten batters and walked one in tonight's 6-0 victory. His ERA is 1.94. He is on track for the best of his four seasons in a Met uniform, by far. And sure it was a long wait, but better this than have Glavine win 25 games for an irrelevant 2003 team and struggle now when so much more is at stake. And he's rediscovered a bulldog quality this season that prevents him from giving up that big hit when the chips are down, as they were against Craig Wilson with the bases loaded in the sixth and the count 3-0...in an at bat that ended with a harmless fly ball to right field to keep the score 1-0. (By the way, doesn't Craig Wilson remind you of Nick Nolte from "North Dallas Forty?")

So whaddaya want me to say?

The wily veteran is hearkening back to his salad days and pitching with something to prove?

The fish tossing lefty is taking a bath in his own personal fountain of youth before every game and then exfoliates with Brave Remover?

The Cy Young winner is making his pitches dance around again like Stacy Kiebler in "Dancing With The Stars"?

Yeah, all well and good, but sometimes, the simple language is the best way to go. Tom Glavine kicks ass. Period.

Keep it simple, stupid.

***

So along the same theme, let's keep it simple tonight.

It's worth noting that Filthy Sanchez hasn't given up a run yet.

Um, it's May, and the slate's clean.

It's also worth noting that David Wright's 4 for 5 may have ended his slump. Just in time, eh?

Also: Endy Chavez plays for Xavier Nady last night and gets four hits. Xavier comes back tonight, and hits a big three run HR. Dare I say, Willie is pushing the right buttons?

The Mets are 4-5 when Jose Reyes doesn't get a hit. 15-4 otherwise. But...the Mets are 8-5 when Reyes doesn't score a run, and 11-4 when Reyes scores. The offense isn't totally dependent on Reyes, which is good...no?

***

It's official, I'm now a Delgado guy.

Even when Carlos Delgado isn't playing, he's involved...hugging Tom Glavine in the dugout after his outing was done and the Mets were pulling away. I pair that with the image of Delgado smiling at David Wright after Carlos saved a throwing error and the two laughing together and I think: "leader"...the leader that some of us might have thought the other Carlos would be. But with Delgado around, Beltran can just be himself and just play ball...you know, when he's not hurt.

Carlos Delgado is every bit as impressive when he's not playing as when he's on the field. I'm won over (now don't make me regret that).

***

Do you understand the importance of Pedro Martinez and Tom Glavine coming up huge against the Pirates?

That's right, it means they aren't pitching against the Braves this weekend.

So forgive me for pointing out the cloud of impending doom that's headed towards Shea.

It is imperative that Steve Trachsel come up with a big outing tomorrow night against Kyle Davies. Because after Trax, it's Bangor Maine, and Victor Zam-oh-no! Victor goes up against Tim Hudson on Saturday...and understanding that the chances that Victor comes up with a second good outing in a row is about as high as my chances of surviving a jump off of the Empire State Building, I'm planning my annual retreat to the Land of No Televisions that day (well maybe not, but I probably should). Bangor draws Jorge Sosa on Sunday...and even though you don't really know what you're going to get with Maine, you know what you're going to get with Sosa, and that's base hits. So the rubber game of the series might actually wind up being the first game on Friday, Trax vs. Davies.

A series win would be mighty fine...s'all I'm sayin'.