Friendly Reminders And Bird Poop

I'm not here to push the panic button. Not on April 8th. But know that it's always close by.

It's close by because of the reminders we received on April 7th.

Reminder number one: John Maine is your second starter.

You know, maybe John Lackey wouldn't have come to New York even if Omar Minaya/Jeff Wilpon did give him the hard sell. Most likely, it was Boston or bust for Lackey regardless of what Minaya came with. I understand this, trust me. But when I see Maine reach the 60 pitch count in the third inning with only about half of the chucks being strikes while checking the scoreboard and seeing that Lackey is twirling six shutout innings against the Yankees, I want to do my Maine imitation and puke.

Reminder number two: Jenrry Mejia is twenty years old.

He's not ready. He's not ready. He's not ready. I'll hold to that like a warm blanket. But if even he is ready ... are sixth inning appearances down by three runs what we have to look forward to? Is this why Snoop and Omar rushed him and his 97 mph fastball? To get hit hard by the bottom of the Marlins lineup to mop up after the latest starting pitching fiasco?

Reminder number three: Sean Green is no Chad Bradford.

Chad Bradford went through 62 innings in 2006 only giving up one home run as a Met. Of course it was a walk-off, but that's a small detail. Sean Green's Chad Bradford imitation only needed two batters to give up his first home run of the season. Yeah, this submariney thing is going to work out just fine.

Reminder number four: Sometimes, irony is not your friend.

Snoop liked Hisanori Takahashi because he threw strikes. What does he do in his major league debut in the tenth inning? Go 2-0 on Wes Helms, of course. Then goes 2-1 on a batter who's trying to bunt Wes Helms over before taking the loss in the tenth. Even when the Mets do the right thing, the dice come up snake eyes.

And even when the Mets shake off a wild pitch that results in the third out of the seventh inning while David Wright was up with the bases loaded (on a questionable baserunning play by Fernando Tatis, it should be noted for posterity) to come back and tie the game in the eighth, the Mets roll craps. Think about this: the team wasted a Jeff Francoeur walk during the eighth inning rally after being down 0-2. A Jeff Francoeur walk!!! His second of the season! Although I have to tell you, Frenchy walking is kinda reminiscent of an acid trip.


Yeah, kinda like that.

Maybe Frenchy has two walks because he finally realized that they do, in fact, put your OBP on the scoreboard.


Hey, whatever works.

Speaking of working, here's something that's not working: that bird misting thing they're trying.

Bird Doctor was contacted by Citi Field as a proactive measure to prevent birds such as pigeons from taking up residence in the new stadium. Installing the new Bird Control Misting system will help keep maintenance costs down, while maintaining the overall appearance and cleanliness of the stadium. Maintenance costs can soar if weekly cleanup of bird droppings is required; bird droppings are unsightly and can transmit disease.

Umm, well check out what diseases I saw transmitted tonight (besides the ones I contracted from watching the ten inning debacle) ...



Y'know it's not like the Mets don't have enough problems with the human doctors ... the bird doctors aren't going to cooperate either?

Mets Finally Honor Their Past!

The bad news is: The past they honored tonight was 1962.

Daniel Murphy is going to get killed for that stumble in the eighth which turned out number one into a triple, which turned into Tuesday's winning run for St. Louis. Your hope for Murphy is that going forward, future errors are the kind of errors which come in 9-3 games or don't lead directly to a run ... and not the kind of errors which lose ballgames, like his last two.

But let's scatter some blame here, shall we?

First off, when did Jeremy Giambi open up a baserunning camp and when did Carlos Beltran attend this? Can we slide next time, please?

And boy am I glad that Mike Pelfrey wasn't placed on the DL, so that Darren O'Day can be DFA'd and offered back to the Angels as a Rule V draftee to make room for Nelson Figueroa to replace Pelfrey, so that Figueroa could then be DFA'd to make room for Casey Fossum to have that second lefthander in the bullpen to face lefties ... so that Fossum could walk the tying run home against the first lefthander he sees as a Met on four pitches.

(That tossed the dog, that worried the cat, that killed the rat ... etc.)

That's roster management at its best, folks. Omar Minaya is the guy who's really good at buying expensive gifts for his wife, but he has to because he constantly screws up the little things like letting three weeks of garbage pile up or calling the dinner order ahead, then forgetting to pick it up and spend the rest of the night wondering why everyone is so hungry. Nice job, Omar.

Of course, it wouldn't have come to Casey Fossum if Oliver Perez could get through six innings without giving up a leadoff single to a pitcher and walking a .230 hitting shortstop with the bases loaded. At least Ollie's ERA went down from 7.84 to 7.80 on Tuesday. That's called good news.

And in an unrelated story, here's some bad news:

“Teams are going to realize the Florida Marlins are for real and they have to play us differently. That’s what we want. We want to be known as the team to beat.” -Wes Helms

Great choice of words, Wes. Spectacular.

Finishing What Wes Helms Started

I'm sure most of you saw this on Metsblog, but for those that didn't, here is Shea Stadium's last stand earlier today:



I know the dream is coming. It may not be tonight ... it may not be tomorrow ... it may not be until next winter. But the dream is coming. It'll be the one where I'm in Shea Stadium, and Darryl Strawberry is trying to bat in the bottom of the ninth, down by three with the bases loaded against Todd Worrell through a driving rainstorm when the umps finally pull the tarp on the field. And we'll all have to go to the ramps to wait out the rain. Except that all of a sudden I'll look around, and the ramp that I'm on is one of the ramps in the above video, and the rest of the stadium will magically disappear, replaced by rubble. And I'm all alone watching the welder below slice open the piece of metal which sends the whole thing down. And I'll be grabbing on to the side for dear life but it's no use, because I'm going down with that last piece of rubble.

And when I emerge from the pile, the welder takes off his mask revealing himself to be Bobby Bonilla. And he's laughing at me.

Cue the cold sweat.

What Happens When A Fictional Pitcher Interviews A Real Life Wife?

You get Part I of Jimmy Scott's interview with Gabrielle Schoeneweis.

Parts II and III are coming soon, when supposedly Gabrielle will discuss the fateful final game at Shea.

Wes Helms' wife has no comment, but Fredi Gonzalez is sending her to a bat rack somewhere at this very moment.

Scott Schoeneweis: Behind the Blow

Well, another red letter season has come do an end (and that red letter is F ... I'll let you figure out what that stands for.) And believe it or not, I still have s**t to say. The following is one in a series of random stuff I'm throwing against the wall about person or persons of my choosing. These are your New York Mets: Behind the Blow.

2008 has been full of tragic symmetry. Last season, the Mets lost two out of three to the Marlins, only winning the second game. I delivered a Manifesto, and then my first post after that involved Scott Schoeneweis. This season, the Mets lost two out of three to the Marlins, only winning the second game. I have already delivered my end of season Manifesto, so let's keep the symmetry going and talk about Schoeneweis, shall we?

You do realize that Scott Schoeneweis is 2008's Tom Glavine. He's going to be seen as the guy who f**ked up the final game with the bomb he gave up to Wes Helms.

(Jeez, Wes Helms.)

When Glavine was interviewed after the game, he came up with the final nail in his own Met coffin in the hearts of Met fans when he came up with the infamous "I'm disappointed, not devastated" line.

One year later ...

"Scott Schoeneweis wrapped his hands around the sides of his Mets locker, seemingly trying to prevent himself from stumbling. He removed one hand to rub his eyes, kicked away a shoe and then sniffled. An hour after the Mets’ season ended disastrously, Schoeneweis, with tousled hair and red-rimmed eyes, looked as if he had not slept in three days."

Sure, Schoeneweis also said that sometimes there were more important things in life ... but he was going through one of those important things at the time!

Yet he still seemed to care about baseball. And that's an important thing to point out because I've heard more than one person say that they could deal with Glavine's 2007 meltdown up until the "disappointed not devastated" line. Then, Glavine was dead to a lot of people ... even when Glavine may have been feeling lower than the dirt that the Marlins scooped up from home plate on Sunday, he certainly didn't let us in on the joke. Schoeneweis at least wore his emotions on his sleeve and showed us that he at least shared the emotions of his fans at that point. It's a fact that at the very least deserves to be acknowledged and credited before he, in all probability, packs his bags to head for parts unknown in 2009.

Your 2007 N.L. East Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Memo to Jimmy Rollins: Print this post.

Because maybe if it's on paper, it'll read that you're the favorites to win the division.

The Phillies are the chic, trendy pick to win the N.L. East this season. Now when I think chic and trendy, I don't think of a guy eating a cheesesteak from Tony Luke's with Cheez Wiz dripping down the corner of his mouth to his chin, finally settling on the second "L" on his Aaron Rowand "Phillies" jersey. But yes, picking the Phillies have become as trendy as chai tea and half caf lattes at Starbucks.

It probably has to do with America's love affair with Ryan Howard and Chase Utley. It's merited. Chase Utley had a hitting streak of 35 games last season (snapped by the Mets in early August), and hit .309 in the three hole last season. Howard? He's a beast. Batting average: .313...OBP: .425...58 HR's and 149 RBI's are just monstrous numbers.

Yikes!

Jimmy Rollins, unfortunately for Mets fans, has the talent to match his bravado, hitting a decent .277 from the leadoff spot, with 25 HR's. The starting pitching is plentiful in Philadelphia, as there are six decent starters to choose from (a problem the Mets wish they had). And Aaron Rowand provides a heart and soul guy not seen in Philly since the days of Lenny Dykstra (yeah, that Lenny Dykstra).

But I'm about to lay the smack down as to why the Philadelphia Phillies will not only not win the division, but why they aren't even going to contend for the wild card...my top 10 reasons why the Phillies will come up empty:

1. The Bullpen: They got away with one last year. By all rights and purposes, Tom Gordon should have been reduced to fossil status last season. By the end of the year, he almost was...check out his ERA by month: 0.84, 2.19, 2.70, 4.63, 9.64 (in 4.2 August innings), and 3.60 in September. WHIP: 0.84, 1.05, 1.10, 1.63, 1.50, and 1.60. Batting average against: .114, .213, .229, .288, .263, .282. And outside of Ryan Madson, the names that Charlie Manuel has to choose from for middle relief don't exactly strike fear in my heart. Antonio Alfonseca? Holy extra digit, Batman! And do you realize that at press time, Matt Smith is the only lefthander in the Phils' pen?


2. The Starters: Let's not make these guys out to be the Glavine, Smoltz, Maddux, and Avery of their time. Cole Hamels is studly, but may very well have a sophomore jinx tagged on him (I doubt it...but it is a possibility). The Met hating Brett Myers is good as long as he hits the strike zone as well as he hits his...(come on, you know where I'm going with that, right?) Freddy Garcia was a good pickup, but is he going to keep the ball in the yard (little known fact: Citizens Bank Park is the size of your average suburban backyard)? Is he going to stay healthy? Is his fastball ever going to rise above 85 mph? And how come we have to hear Julio Franco jokes from the peanut gallery known as the national baseball media, yet Jamie Moyer is simply known as crafty? He's old! Not quite as useless as Julio on the field, but almost as old. Adam Eaton, mark my words, will turn out to be the biggest waste of free agent dollars in the 2007 season. It's going to haunt the Phillies if this is the guy that causes Jon Lieber to be traded somewhere.


3. Pat Burrell: Burrell's numbers aren't bad as a whole (25HR's, 95 RBI's). But his .258 average and 131 K's are not what you want protecting Ryan Howard. You want more damning stats? RISP in 2006: .222 in 153 AB's. RISP with two outs: .167 in 78 at bats. Bases loaded: .240 with 17 RBI's in 25 at bats. These numbers are bound to hover around that area or worse considering that the Phillies have been trying to trade him all winter...and that the Phillies "faithful" have made Burrell their official whipping boy, as detailed by me here.


4. Charlie Manuel: Look at the managers in the National League east for a second. You have Manny Acta in Washington, Fredi Gonzalez in Florida, Bobby Cox in Atlanta, Willie Randolph here in New York, and Manuel. If you had to pick one manager to potentially have rumors of an in-season firing surrounding him who would you pick? Who would you pick if you had to lay $100 bucks on it? Acta? With the lack of talent surrounding him that would be cruel. Gonzalez? Would there be a worse P.R. move than firing Gonzalez after letting go of Joe Girardi? Cox? He's been in Atlanta since the civil war...you think he's going anywhere at this point? Randolph? We're talking about the Wilpons here, even Art Howe got one year longer than he should have...you think they're going to develop a short fuse all of a sudden with Willie? Guess who that leaves...


5. Wes Helms: If you put the Mets and Phillies infields side by side, you could make the argument that Howard, Utley, and Rollins cancel out the Mets trio of David Wright, Jose Reyes, and Carlos Delgado. That leaves Wes Helms vs. Jose Valentin. That's a tough call, but considering that Valentin provides power to the lowest power position on the board, and that Wes Helms, who's never had more than 274 AB's in a season, I gotta say that Wes Helms has some proving to do. He hit .329 last year in 240 AB's, but also had 55 K's which would translate to about 120, 130 K's through a full season. Do you want Wes Helms in the same lineup with Pat Burrell?


6. 10,000: This team is headed towards a distinction known by no other franchise in professional sports history. They are 43 victories away from 10,000 losses in their history. Think about that...it's mind boggling! The San Francisco Giants, who have been playing baseball just as long as the Phillies, have a total of 8,702 losses. That's almost 1,300 less losses than Philadelphia. If the Phillies languish around .500, you don't think that 10,000 is going to hang over them like a scarlet number? (By the way, if the Phils start out 39-42, loss number 10,000 could come against the Mets on July 1st, Sunday night, on national television.


7. Karim Garcia: Come on. You expect me to take a team that has Karim Garcia on it seriously? Really? The Latino Bambino? Enemy of pizza delivery men everywhere? I frankly don't care if he makes the team or not. His aura already wafts through the city like that smell that hit NYC back in January.


8. Adam Eaton: I know I mentioned him way back in reason number two, but allow me to reiterate: This signing was so bad, it deserved it's own write-up. Adam Eaton got $24.5 million over three years for going 18-9 with a 4.55 ERA in 193 and 2/3's innings. Sound reasonable? Those were composite stats over the last two seasons. When Kris Benson got his "overpriced" contract, he at least pitched 200 innings in one season. And one more thing that may or may not have anything to do with anything, but Adam Eaton once landed on the disabled list...for stabbing himself in the stomach.


9. Pat Gillick: Genius my ass. His big plan was to trade Bobby Abreu to the Yankees for nothing, but have all this salary to improve the team. His big purchase with that extra money: Adam Eaton. And now, he's going to have to figure out what to do with Aaron Rowand. With trade rumors swirling around him, Gillick is going to have to hit a home run in dealing him. Does he get bullpen help? Does he get another starting outfielder back? Does Jon Lieber get traded for bullpen help? Is there any chance that Braden Looper can be returned to the Phillies in that deal so that he can log important innings for the Phils (insert evil laugh)?


10. John Kruk: He isn't going to make a throw, field a grounder, hit a double, or even put on a uniform (praise Buddha) for the team that he once starred for this season. But you know what he will do? Piss me off without fail. What that has to do with the Phillies finishing out of the money in 2007? I don't know. But John Kruk was a Phillie, he pisses me off, and he's already predicted the Phillies would win the division. I don't know how, but he will cause the Phillies demise...someway, somehow. This might be a good start:

Prediction: Third place, 82-80