It's more than a little unnerving to exit an airplane to this:"Mets Trade For Burrell"
Of course, it turned out not to be true ... yet. To think, I wasted perfectly good vomit over nothing.
Some have asked me if I could ever accept a member of the charter Hall of Hate club as one of our own if he was traded here, or if I would take that person off the list forever. In Burrell's case I'd consider it. But there's a catch.
Burrell, as you all can probably recite, has 42 career home runs off Met pitching in 634 plate appearances. 634 divided into 5,864, Burrell's total amount of plate appearances, is roughly 9.25. Multiply that by that number 42, you get the amount of home runs Burrell would have to hit as a Met for me to take him out of the Hall of Hate.
388.
Statistically impossible? Considering he'd be playing in Citi Field and not Shea Stadium, and that it would be hard for Burrell to get another 5,864 plate appearances on the other side of 30, well then he'd better eat right and take lots of steroids. Life's tough.
***
And speaking of life being tough, seems that the Mets signed and re-signed Elmer Dessens to help mentor Oliver Perez ... and the signing of Henry Blanco is another step in that direction.
Funny how neither Dessens, Blanco, Pedro Martinez, Carlos Baerga, Mackey Sasser, nor anybody else with "intangibles" needed to be in the room to mentor Oliver when he signed that $36 million contract. Weird, huh?
Man up. Nannies are for infants.
2 comments:
I'll mentor Perez.
Throw the damn ball over the plate! Stop being a wuss! Stick a band-aid on it and shut up! There are 9 innings in a game. Shock us and go 7 once in a while. Either be a lousy pitcher or a good pitcher -- pick one and stick to it. Quit getting people excited with a good outing only to suck the rest of the year!
I think I would be a good mentor. Don't you?
Throw in "What is your major malfunction" and you have a self-help tape, my friend.
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