Sunday, August 30, 2009


The lords of baseball saw an opportunity to throw some high hard ones by me while I've been away. To that I say, ha! You're going to have to do a lot better than this to get one by me. Besides, I have a team of experts not only finding these stories for me, they read them to me, they explain them to me, they spell out some of the words phonetically to me, and they diffuse bombs in their spare time.

So without further ado, I give you: "The things you've missed while I've been away."

Or is that, "The things I've missed while you've been away?"

Maybe it's "The things that we've all missed while David Wright's been away" ...

Oh, the hell with it, here's some stuff to read:

Item: Scott Kazmir traded to the Angels for two players not named Victor Zambrano.

First person that says "see, told you so" gets a beating. Kazmir for Zambrano: Still the worst trade ever. Anybody who wants me to rehash why it's worse than Ryan for Fregosi is more than welcome to ask.

Here's the funny thing, the Rays trading Kazmir for prospects is a "future" trade. The Mets trading Kazmir for Zambrano was a "now" trade. (Actually, it was a "never" trade.) The Rays are closer to first place "now" than the Mets were "then". Meanwhile, I can't be sure ... but I think Victor rang me up at Old Navy the other day.

Item: Billy Wagner finally gets into a game for Boston, and strikes out three in his inning of work.

Hooray for Country Time. And even though Brian Cashman was probably only doing his due dilligence for claiming Chris Carter on waivers from the Red Sox, and even though keeping Carter from joining the Mets this season in the Wagner trade is probably akin to doing him a favor and keeping him from getting injured ... screw you Cashman. Your team has the best team in baseball and you still have to cause unnecessary problems. We have enough necessary problems, for crissakes.

Surprisingly, it took until Sunday for Billy to get into a game. Apparently, Terry Francona is only allowed to pitch him if he doesn't throw a bullpen session, throw darts against Papelbon, or throw up earlier in the day. So I wasn't able to give you a video of "Enter Sandman" in Fenway Park from Friday. So instead I give you Jason Bay from Friday, for no other reason than to remind Steve Phillips that he traded him for Steve Reed.

Thanks for giving me that initial slice of hell that has been compounded over time.

Item: Catcher Josh Thole to be promoted, may only bat against righties.

Wait, this is the organization that rushes their prospects through the system ... so they could reach the majors and be coddled? Memo to Snoop: your major league catchers can't hit lefties (Santos: .234, Schneider: POINT ZERO ZERO ZERO). I know we're long past the point of managing to win (that point being 2008), but can we use our brains, if only a little bit? The next Joe Mauer could be here in September. Or, the next Joe Mauer could be in somebody else's organization. Or, the next Joe Mauer may be merely a twinkle in some groupie's eye right now. We'll never know for sure, because the Mets will continue to groom players of all shapes and sizes to be nothing more than glorified platoon/utility players, putting them in a box with no hope of breaking out and being more than what they are perceived to be.

Sounds a lot like life ... or at least life in Flushing.

Item: Jeff Kent honored in the Giants Wall of Fame (sent to the home office by Squawker Lisa).

Fans can visit the wall and wash the very motorcycle that Kent claimed to had been washing when he broke his wrist.

Item: Aaron Heilman pitches two innings of shutout baseball against the Mets on Saturday, only giving up one hit.

Seems that Heilman was claimed on waivers by a National League team on Thursday. If the Mets were that team, I'm burning down Citi Field. Immediately.

Triple play? Pshaw. Castillo Schmastillo. This ... is ... rock ... bottom.

Item: Jim Duquette blasts Mets for cancelling their fall instructional league.

Okay, scratch that. This is rock bottom.

And it brings it all full circle, doesn't it? We started with Kazmir, why not end with Duquette? When this is the man that is killing your organization for being cheap, what does that tell you? What does that tell you??? Jim Duquette is throwing tomatoes at you ... with more accuracy than Oliver Perez, at that!
"Now the rumors within the scouting circles are that they can't afford - which it roughly costs about 300 grand to staff and to invite and fly down all the players, to having meals throughout for about, it's like a 4 to 5 week program. It gives you a chance to extend the development of your young players, of your prospects. And they're not gonna have it. They have cancelled it for this fall. And to me, being a development guy, that's big news. If you're development oriented, it's not a good decision in my opinion."
Maybe that's why Thole is only batting against righties ... because they can't afford to develop his batting eye against lefties. Boy oh boy, nothing verifies the myth of a bad farm system like ... not developing your farm system. Thanks, Mr. Wilpon.

In a related story, the Mets have saved millions in salary by trading Danny Meyer to the Padres in exchange for Grimace, the Hamburglar, and a fictional character to be named later. Shake Shack will now serve delicious McDonald's cheeseburgers for the 2010 season.


Schneck said...

Slightly off topic but I went to see the NJ Jackals today with their new star player Timo Perez. It was great to see Timo again and he had a couple of hits as well. With Perez in their lineup I think the Jackals had slightly more cumulative major league experience in their lineup than the Mets.

MetFanMac said...

I'm far more burned about being shut down by Chan Ho "Ho" Park than by Siegheilman.

Unser said...

I hear Thole will only catch Figgy and Pat Misch, and is forbidden from trying to throw runners out trying to steal third.

BTW, first order of business in spring training next year - pop up practice. When the ball goes up in the air, the Mets look like pre-schoolers out there. It's really funny at this point - one of the onlt reasons to tune in to a game. Castillo especially - when he settles under a ball, I'd say there's only a 62% chance he catches it.

Krup said...

did you see this one? - says the author of a new book on Bernie Madoff is speculating, "Fred Wilpon, the owner of the New York Mets, will be forced to sell the baseball franchise as soon as 2010 after incurring heavy Bernie Madoff-related investment losses."

"You can quote me," Erin Arvedlund said of a possible sale of the Mets. "It's a matter of when. It could be as soon as next year."


Metstradamus said...

Oh I saw that. And I saw that the Wilpons denied it. The fall instructional league cancellation is proof that not everything is all right in Wilpon-land. SELL!!!

Joe Cook said...

It's time we Mets fans stop being so negative about our general managers:
Jason Bay for Steve Reed sounds terrible, until you remember that we also got Jason Middlebrook in that deal. "Lights Out" Middlebook's 8 games for the Mets with an ERA over 10, before never appearing in another game in his career, made it all worthwhile. least in that deal we also got rid of the never-even-decent Bobby Jones who, if I remember right, eventually re-surfaced with the Braves in Spring Training with a number Scotch-taped onto his jersey. So Steve Phillips got it right on one of the two players he gave up...

Always good to find a positive spin on things.

Anonymous said...

I used to work with Jason Middlebrook's wife. She was very nice.

That's all I got to add to this inane conversation.

Hazeleyes said...

Schneck, Funny I was thinking of Timo the other day and wondered what happened to him. (Yes, the season is so bad I am replaying past seasons in my head to avoid facing current reality). Glad he is doing all right in an independent league.

What is this crap about cancelling Fall League? How can they even go there with all the development issues this team has? They have been denying that the Madoff losses would affect this team since it came down and even then I could not see how that was possible. They should look for some decent buyer now before they are forced into a fire sale and we end up with someone even worse. You know like the Polhads or something.

Or worse than that MLB takes over the team like they did the Expos. That didn't go well did it?