The Perfect Set

All right, in Omar I trust again.

The only question now is this: Do I trust the Wilpons?

Hmmmmmmm.

Forget next week's primaries. January 29th, 2008 will go down as a truly Super Tuesday, as the Mets have gotten their man. Finally, an ace pitcher in Johan Santana, acquired at the cut rate price of Carlos Gomez, Phil Humber, Kevin Mulvey, and Deolis Guerra. Look Ma, no Fernando Martinez!

Let me recite to you what a friend of mine (a frequent visitor to the comment section) said to me about the trade:

"What I am most happy about the trade is that for once the Mets did not bid against themselves. The 4 guys they put on the table stayed on the table. Omar did not panic even with the wolves baying at him to make a deal at any price. He wanted to keep Martinez and was succesful. When everyone laughed that the Mets offer was ridiculously puny compared to the Sox and Stinkees, he held his hand. He really played this one very well. Now Freddie Coupons has to pony up the dough."

I can't say it better myself, so I'm not going to try. Omar knew exactly what he was doing ... he wasn't going to bid against himself when the Red Sox and Yankee offers kept falling like the stock market. I admit, despite the fact that Omar's strategy was clear, I would have caved and thrown in the extra prospect to make sure the deal got done. But that's why Omar's the GM and I'm doing what I'm doing.

Now, you could say that it isn't really a stroke of genius to do what Omar did ... holding fast to a group of four prospects that fails to include the best one of all. Look, it really was the perfect storm that this happened. Yes, the Yankees and Red Sox got into a fit of restraint that helped the situation. But of course, the Yankee-lovin' media is running with this notion that the only reason the Mets were able to make this happen was because the Yankees let it happen ... again, we owe our lives to Big Brother From The Bronx. Had nothing to do with Johan wanting to come to Queens ... nah.

So let's calm down.

But whatever you believe, Omar did get the job done. Now all that is left is for the Wilpons to "pony up the dough" and put the spike in the sand on Omar's perfect set-up. When Misty May puts up a set, chances are that Kerri Walsh doesn't miss. All the Wilpons have to do is put this spike in the ground so that Johan Santana can come to Queens and strike out the likes of Misty May's husband. The sides, as of this moment, are far apart. But even Buster Olney says that the chances of this falling apart are "remote". So I'm going to resist the urge to be a curmudgeon and sleep well tonight ... knowing that by five o'clock tomorrow it will all be official, and Johan will be fitted in orange and blue.

It will be official, right?

Delivering The Good News (With Onion Rings)

(Metstradamus hears a knock at the door, waking him from a sound sleep:)

MD: Hello?

OM: Hey, it's me. Can I come in?

MD: Sure.

(Metstradamus lets in a certain GM of the New York Mets)

MD: Dude, it's like, 3AM.

OM: I know, I know. Here, I brought White Castles.

MD: Ooh, ooh, the kind I like? Cheeseburgers with no pickles?

OM: And just a touch of ketchup. Nobody knows their fans better than me. I even got two sacks of onion rings.

MD: You're awesome.

OM: Save that for when I give you the news.

MD: What news? Are you bringing back the winter caravan? Are you bringing back Jose Lima? Oh wait, I know ... you bought Brian Schneider a Hitaway!

OM: Better.

MD: Well I hope so. It's three o'clock in the freakin' morning.

OM: I got him.

MD: Who?

OM: You know who.

MD: Wait ... no!

OM: Yes.

MD: NO!

OM: Yes!

MD: I don't freakin' believe you!!!

OM: Dude, it's true. I got the paperwork right here.

MD: Holy sh ... wait. The Twinkies gutted the farm, didn't they?

OM: Gomez, Mulvey, Guerra, and Humber.

MD: No (puts onion rings on a White Castle cheeseburger and shoves it in his mouth).

OM: Yes.

MD: How in the name of Lee Guetterman did you pull that off?

OM: In Omar we trust, right?

MD: Oh yeah, baby! You truly are awesome. What a freakin' night ... you bring me Johan Santana ... you bring me White Castles and didn't forget the sack o' rings ...

OM: And I have one more thing for you too.

MD: What else could you possibly give me that would make this night even more special?

OM: This: (Omar Minaya flips Metstradamus the bird and starts singing the theme to Maude, while injecting his own name as the primary subject).

MD: What the hell is wrong with you?

OM: That's for all the crap you blogged about me when I traded Lastings Milledge. Omar this, Omar that, I don't trust Omar, bla bla bla. You don't think I read that? You don't think I read how you turned your back on me?

MD: Oh, you're still mad about that? Look dude, I was ticked! I was emotional! For crying out loud you guys blew a seven game lead with 17 games to play ... how the hell do you expect me to react when you trade a talented yet misunderstood outfielder for a .220 hitting catcher and Ryan Church?

OM: Dude, you were dogging me like I was some sort of schlub off the street ... like I was a common hot dog vendor ... like I was Al Harazin!

MD: Oh, come on. Don't you think you're being a tad overdramatic?

OM: Screw that. I try to shore up the bullpen and what do you do? You make jokes about arm casts and afterschool specials. You didn't trust me. And now that I've gotten you your ace, you're all happy and you're all like "oh Omar, you're the best" and "oh Omar you're so awesome" and like "oh Omar, sell me a seven pack". Yet you snicker behind my back and make fun of my smaller acquisitions while not seeing the big picture. Well, screw you. I've had it with you sitting in front of your laptop assuming that there's going to be a disaster at every turn. I brought you Petey. I brought you Carlos Beltran. AND I GOT YOU JOHAN SANTANA YOU PETULANT BLOGGER B*TCH! (Omar flips Metstradamus the double bird and laughs like Cesar Romero).

MD: Omar! Watch your f***ing language!!!

OM: You don't deserve Johan Santana. Maybe I'll just tell the Wilpons to be a little extra hard during contract negotiations during the next few days so he'll go back to Minnesota en route to Boston or The Bronx. Would you like that?

MD: You take that back!!!

OM: Make me!!!

MD: Just wait until ... until ... YOU LACED THESE WHITE CASTLES!!! (Metstradamus runs to the bathroom)

OM: Um no, that's just what they do. But you got what you deserved anyway! HA! (Omar leaves in a huff with an evil laugh ... Metstradamus emerges from the bathroom seconds later).

MD: Wait! Omar!!! Come back!!! (Metstradamus opens the door to find Omar waiting for the elevator in the hallway with an evil grin on his face).

OM: Which seven-pack would you like?

MD: Santana pack?

OM: I'll see if I can invent one. You know I spoil you.

MD: Thanks dude. And thanks for the White Castles.

OM: Anytime. See you at Shea?

MD: You bet.

(And ... scene.)

Is Johan Santana The Next Herschel Walker?

Okay, so I might be a tad bit pre-occupied with Johan Santana. I've tried to fight it, but it's no use. Hence, you get two Santana-related musings in the span of 48 hours.

I know what scares you. I know why you're reluctant to gut the farm for Santana. I know what is making you guys and gals tick on this particular issue:

You're scared that Fernando Martinez is going to become the next Emmitt Smith, and that Johan Santana is going to be the next Herschel Walker.

For those of you not so football savvy let me take you back to a more innocent time in America's history. The Dallas Cowboys had one excellent, established NFL caliber player, along with a couple of promising rookies you might have heard of named Troy Aikman and Michael Irvin. But there wasn't enough top quality talent to get them more than the three wins they got in 1998, nor the one win they would get in 1989. So the Cowboys took their one, excellent, established NFL player named Herschel Walker, and traded him along with four draft picks (one of which would become Jake Reed) to the Minnesota Vikings (figures that Minnesota would be involved in this vignette). The Vikes, who some thought to be one player away after just missing the Super Bowl in 1988, thought that Walker was that player. So they traded, get this: five NFL players and eight draft picks.

(And you thought five minor leaguers was a lot.)

The epilogue is that one of those draft picks turned into Hall of Famer, all-time rushing leader, and Dancing With The Stars champ Emmitt Smith. Other draft picks obtained in the trade were used as bait to acquire other picks used to draft CB Darren Woodson, and NT Russell Maryland. Smith, Woodson, and Maryland combined with Aikman and Irvin to help the Cowboys to three Super Bowl titles in the nineties.

Walker, meanwhile, was far from the specimen that the Vikings had hoped he would be. When Herschel was with the USFL's New Jersey Generals, he was a beast. I saw him at a trade show at the Javits center where he was signing autographs and the guy had a neck the size of a tree trunk. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how this guy got tackled. With the Generals and the Cowboys (not to mention his time in Georgia, where he should have won two Heisman Trophies instead of one) many people tried to tackle him ... most failed miserably.

But by the time he got to the Vikings, the perfect storm of failure hit. Walker got a little older. All those broken tackles added some tread on his tires. And part of it was Walker being misused by Vikings coach Jerry Burns. Walker had become the most physically imposing and the most expensive third down back in the history of the NFL (think Santana as the eighth inning guy.) Walker went on to be a bobsledder on the 1992 Olympic team, and now he sells chicken wings to pizza shops, bowling alleys, and casinos. No, really!

But you're worried that by trading the plethora of future stars that are being talked about in this deal, that the Mets are going to turn the Minnesota Twins into the Dallas Cowboys, and that Johan Santana is going to sell chicken products to country clubs by the time the sheen has worn off Citi Field.

And you're scared that Minnesota being involved signals some sort of passing of the torch of bad lopsided trades, much the same way as the Phillies passed the curse of Gene Mauch to the Mets last September.

Of course. Because the last time the Mets made a five-for-one deal, it was also with Minnesota. That was a deal that sent Rick Aguilera and Kevin Tapani to the Twins for what was basically one fantastic season and two mediocre ones from Frank Viola. Aguilera went on to become the best closer in Twins history (with apologies to Firpo Marberry ... not to be confused with Stephon Marbury).

But what of the other players in that trade? David West was touted as being Steve Carlton with more hop on his fastball. How did that work out?

Jack Savage had awesome minor league stats with the Dodgers, and was part of the Jesse Orosco trade before he moved on to the Twins. Perhaps he was a more highly touted product than he should have been because of his awesome name, but his minor league stats did make people drool. Savage is most famous for being the subject of a short lived NBC television series.

Oh sorry, Jack Savage now resides in Louisville.

And Tim Drummond somehow found time for a baseball career in between Neil Young and Eric Clapton concerts.

Point being this: The trade that's being discussed by us (if not necessarily by the Mets), which is Martinez, Carlos Gomez, Deolis Guerra, Kevin Mulvey, and Phil Humber, is steep. It's top heavy with Martinez, and it's deep at the back-end. But let's face it: It's very rare that a five-for-one trade manifests itself into even three players hitting it big in the majors. Fernando Martinez could indeed be Emmitt Smith.

Or ... he could be Alex Escobar.

Alex Escobar, for those of you ten and under (or those who just picked up the sport last week), was Fernando Martinez before Martinez was cool. He was traded in another large player deal ... the one for lousy punk Robby Alomar. That trade could have been a disaster too, and on the Mets' end it sure was, as Alomar turned out to be one of the most disappointing players ever to put on a Mets uniform. But Alex Escobar, for all of his "tools", never turned into that player that was going to make the Mets really regret that trade.

Baseball's landscape is littered with guys that had all the tools in the world but amounted to nothing in the major leagues. It's proven fact. Escobar isn't going to be the first, and he isn't going to be the last. Yusmeiro Petit, once a top notch Mets prospect who was traded for Carlos Delgado, and Gaby Hernandez, who was traded for Paul Lo Duca, have both found it significantly tougher after moving on to higher levels. Petit hasn't set the world on fire after a 9-3 season at Binghamton, and it's been rough sledding for Hernandez after pitching a no-hitter at Hagerstown.

Unless you're talking about the number one prospect on your system for, say, a 29-year-old mediocre pitcher with arm trouble, prospects are tricky to figure out. And if that deal involving said number one prospect for mediocre damaged goods is scaring you, just understand that Johan Santana is not Victor Zambrano. If that deal is scaring the Mets front office, then they need to grow a set.

Now if the Mets are merely holding back so as not to bid against themselves in terms of prospects ... if indeed the two-headed albatross known as the Yankees and Red Sox are out ... then the Mets are playing it very smart. But if that strategy results in the Mets getting too cute for their own good, allowing either dragon head to re-enter the bidding, that's not so good. Maybe five is a bit much. But if it's such a deep offer, then perhaps holding back a pitching prospect like Mulvey or Guerra instead of insisting on keeping one of the outfielders would be just as smart a play as keeping Martinez or Gomez. And that might be the trick in getting a deal like that done.

And remember, we're not talking Victor Zambrano. We're not talking Frank Viola. And we're not even talking Herschel Walker. We're talking one of the best pitchers of our generation. Because of that, I'm willing to keep an open mind in terms of who, and how many, go the other way.

As long as Willie doesn't employ Johan as a third-down slot receiver ...

The Carousel Continues

"... the Mets offered different packages of prospects that included either outfielder Carlos Gomez or outfield prospect Fernando Martinez but not both, declining to include the one extra prospect the Twins requested to clinch the deal according to people familiar with those talks." -Jon Heyman/SI.com, on a potential Johan Santana deal

Of course, the Mets aren't willing to but both players in the deal. They're holding them back for five years from now when they make that inevitable Martinez for Mark Mulder (after his fifth rotator cuff surgery) deal to fill a hole in the bullpen, after trading Carlos Gomez for Jose Molina deal to fill that back-up catcher hole. That's called forward thinking, my friends.

There's going to be a large contingent of you that will say that after trading Lastings Milledge, to trade the other two outfield prospects in any deal ... whether it be for Johan Santana or Carlos Zambrano or Sandy Koufax stepping out of the time machine ... is insane, especially when you still have to sign Santana to a seven year, $800 gazillion deal. There will be others that say that the price for Santana is going to come down with each passing day. And there will be still more of you that will preach the virtue of patience. If you are in this large group, your reasoning is sound.

But let me ask you this:

If the Mets have a history of "over-hyping" their prospects, rushing them up the ladder too quickly or what have you, and you have an opportunity to turn these prospects into the best pitcher in baseball, then doesn't history teach you that you should do it? Have the Mets forgotten this quickly that Lastings Milledge was once a major chip to get Manny Ramirez or Roy Oswalt, and wound up getting them Brian Schneider and Ryan Church? Are we all going to be on this space five years from now sighing "you know, we could have had Johan Santana for Gomez and Martinez, and all we got in a trade was John Patterson, Ronnie Belliard, and Paul Lo Duca?" History tells us that this is exactly the predicament that we'll be in come 2013. So when will the Mets learn from history rather than be eternally doomed to repeat it?

Trading the two remaining outfield prospects would be a huge risk. Sure, the Mets can play it safe as they always do, and be that team that stands in the corner at the party eating chips all night, afraid to ask the homecoming queen to dance. Or, they can show their fans that they're interested being the mouthwash that rinses out the taste of disaster and bringing in (and paying for) the best pitcher of his time frame, while willing to take a big risk to improve the here and now...while actually making an effort to change the fortunes of the future by changing the way they draft and develop players (another rant for another time)? When will this franchise step off the carousel of safety and mediocrity and actually walk in a straight line towards that brass ring?

Food for thought. Disagree at will.

In Omar, I've Lost Trust

The sun was shining when I woke up this morning.

It was shining because the first thing that I saw was that Billy Beane had officially put Dan Haren on the trade market. Oh glory. And here we are in Queens with all of these trade chips to get him. We've got Carlos Gomez, we've got Mike Pelfrey, we've got Phil Humber, we've got Kevin Mulvey, and we've got the guy that Billy Beane has been salivating over for many a fortnight...Lastings Milledge.

What?

We don't have Lastings Milledge?

The Washington Nationals have completed a trade sending veteran catcher Brian Schneider and outfielder Ryan Church to the New York Mets for promising outfielder Lastings Milledge on Friday.

Both the Mets and the Nationals scheduled conference calls at 3 p.m. today to announce the deal. Schneider, in a telephone interview, said he spoke with Mets General Manager Omar Minaya, who confirmed the trade.

"It's done," Schneider said.

And I'm beginning to think the Mets are done as well.

Remember the good old days when Lastings Milledge could have brought back Manny Ramirez? I remember those days. Those were fun days. The Mets were on the upswing after the brutal Art Howe era, and Metropolitan prospects were the bee's knees. Oh, it was fun. But oh no, the Mets couldn't get a Hall of Famer for Milledge, because Lastings Milledge was going to have so much upside. There's no way the future of the franchise could so callously be cast aside. Who knows, a deal even better than Manny Ramirez could come along someday. Maybe for a younger big bat. Maybe for an arm!

Oooh! Maybe for Brian Schneider and Ryan Church!!!

Now you all should know me well enough by now to know that I'm not into absolutes such as "biggest this", "worst that", or "most vomit ever expunged in one sitting". I'm not going to say things like that for the pure sake of saying them. So I'm not going to compare this trade to the infamous Scott Kazmir trade.

"People always like to say, 'What if?' But the positive that's come out of this is what we learned from our mistake. We have moved on." -Jeff Wilpon, on the Scott Kazmir trade.

Really? A 22-year-old outfielder with upside through the roof for a .235 hitting catcher and a journeyman outfielder? That's what you've learned from the Scott Kazmir trade? This was a bad trade when I thought Ryan Church was 25.

He's 29!

And I've aged about ten years in the last four hours.

(Editor's note: Do any of you find it ironic that the Mets basically gave the Nationals Jesus Flores via the Rule V draft, and now that he may be ready to start, we let them do it by trading for Schneider?)

And here's the kick in the head out of all of this: People are going to respond to this blog, and other Met blogs and say something along the lines of "Milledge was a dog, he didn't run hard after that Dontrelle Willis hit in the corner during the last game of the season." To those people I say, don't even bother. Because guess who was benched last season for not running out a ground ball?

For those who said Ryan Church, collect your door prize.

So now, in addition to Johan Santana being pretty much out the window because Omar is at least smart enough not to put Jose Reyes in that deal, now Dan Haren is out the window. If Billy Beane was cooling a bit on Lastings Milledge, you think he's going to take a package that includes Ryan Church and Johnny Estrada? But never fear, because Omar is probably going to sign Livan Hernandez and tell us he's every bit as good as Santana, Haren, and Joe Blanton. Great. Let's reunite the rest of the 2004 Expos that went 67-95, shall we? Tomo Ohka doing anything these days? Carl Everett is with a Long Island Duck last I checked. Maybe Carlos Gomez can get you Jose Vidro and his bad knees. Can a Fernando Martinez for Jon Rauch and Shawn Hill deal be far behind?

And I haven't even mentioned the part of the deal that points out that Lastings Milledge is going to face the Mets 19 times a season for the next 20 years??? A top prospect traded in his own division??? To a team that had a comparable if not better record than the Mets over the last 90 games of the 2007 season??? To a team who's future might be 2008 while the Mets' future may be 2006? Who does this??!!?!?!??!!?

The Mets, of course.

I'm going to ask you all this: Would you be surprised in the least if say...six months, a year, two years down the road you started hearing that Milledge was traded because there were whispers in the clubhouse that certain veterans wanted him gone? Would you? Because I wouldn't. After all the little lateness and rap music incidents I'm not saying that it's going to happen, or that I know anything you don't. But I wouldn't be surprised to the point where if I was offered an even money bet on that I might take it. And if that happens? Then guess what: This franchise would officially be back where it started back in 2004 with Art Howe as the manager, and the inmates running the asylum. And isn't that what the Mets were trying to avoid by getting rid of the clubhouse lawyers like Al Leiter and John Franco anyway?

I'm not stupid. I know Milledge's value isn't what it used to be, fair or unfair. But a defensive catcher? A 29-year-old mediocre outfielder? For a top prospect? This is the best you could do? Are we that afraid of talent?

(Editor's note: Omar Minaya is currently on the Mike and Puppy show saying that "sometimes the fans don't understand, I go back to the time I made the Kris Benson trade and no one knew who John Maine was." All right, here's the difference: For as baffled as I was at the Benson trade...and don't tell me that didn't have something to do with an off-field incident too...at least a prospect came back for an older player. And I doubt that even Omar Minaya knew that John Maine was going to become the pitcher he did in such a short amount of time. This time, the young prospect is leaving the house and not coming to the house. So that's like comparing apples to oranges...or Anna Benson's cantaloupes.)

The sun is no longer shining. Night has fallen. And Lastings Milledge is on the Acela to Washington. How ironic the Mets get a guy named Church...because it's going to take a Hail Mary to get that ace pitcher now.

(And no, Livan Hernandez doesn't count.)

Dreamin'

It was fun watching a game where somebody else made all the errors, wasn't it?

Well, maybe it wasn't so much fun, but Pedro Martinez got it done, especially in the third inning when he had the bases loaded and one out and somehow escaped. It really was an important game in that respect. If the Marlins had beaten the Mets with their spiritual leader on the mound, then who do you turn to? No wonder they conjured up 5 runs in the two innings after that.

Amazingly, none of the Mets runs were earned as Miguel Cabrera refuses to dive, and Mike Jacobs...in his quest for a gold glove...played with a glove made of solid gold. The Mets rode Pedro's gutty performance and Moises Alou's club record 25 game hit streak to a rain shortened 8-4 five inning win over the Marlins, as the skies opened up and poured down on Miami, thankfully ending the game before the Marlins got to the Mets depleted bullpen. Thanks to that rainstorm, the Mets stayed 1 1/2 games ahead of Philadelphia. The only hope now for the Mets is that Carlos Beltran's foray into the wall which forced him out of action isn't going to keep him out that long.

Ironically, after the rain shortened game, a had an unusually vivid dream after I fell asleep about an hour after the game ended with no hope of resuming...it involved Guillermo Mota. I dreamt that the game actually did resume and Willie Randolph had Mota in for two innings. I tried to escape, but that stadium is so big...and every time I found an exit and walked through it, I ended up on the mozzarepa line. But Mota was getting outs! And then Willie actually put Mota in for a second inning, and he got everybody out. It was at that point, I knew I was dreaming because Mota never lasts two innings...and Randolph wouldn't be stupid enough to do that again, right?

But then, in the dream, Fredi Gonzalez was stupid enough to double switch Cabrera out of the game. And Carlos Delgado hit a home run to center field which conked me in the head and then I woke up...or so I thought. I dreamt then that I woke up on the couch in a cold sweat, and it was already the next morning so I flipped open the paper to see the boxscore of the Mets win...and the boxscore said "Schoeneweis (SV, 1)". Panicking, I flipped on the television for highlights, and I saw Willie...and he was mad! He was mad apparently because Carlos Gomez, get this, tried to steal third base with two outs! I mean, now I really knew I was dreaming because he sure as hell wouldn't have done that after Jose Reyes made the same mistake two weeks ago.

And I also know it was a dream because Willie never gets mad, right? So I tried to run out of my apartment, and kept running...and running...and running...until I saw third base in the distance so I rounded it even though Sandy Alomar was giving me the stop sign...and here I come home to try to bowl over Miguel Olivo. Only it wasn't Miguel Olivo...it was Britney Spears! So I ran faster and tried to put her in the third row but she gave me the sweep tag and I flew all the way into the upper deck.

When I landed there...Timo Perez was wearing a World Series ring yelling at me for not running hard all the way from my apartment. And on my other side I saw Shakira dancing with Jimmy Rollins in the aisle. I was briefly distracted by the merry go round they brought on the field where Moises Alou was riding it with Hubie Brooks and Mike Piazza. Mota was then brushed back by a pitch, and then he chased Piazza around the field. And then all of a sudden, I noticed I was wearing a cast on my leg from landing so hard in the upper deck...and Carlos Beltran was wearing a matching cast because he was out for the season!!!

Then I really did wake up. And I wrote this post. Damn, I gotta stop eating jalapenos before going to bed.

With All Apologies

Sorry Scott.

I really had no way of knowing that one of the eight-year-old kids that I kicked off my lawn today would sneak off to Shea Stadium and hit a home run to beat you.

I should have known better. I should have known that if there was a chance you would enter the game tonight, that an eight-year-old child would hit a home run off of you. My bad.

***

But really, outside of the fact that some eight-year-old named Brendan Ryan would hit his first major league home run off Scott Schoeneweis after hitting six total home runs in his four year minor league career, the Mets are still fine. One of the things that drew me to the Mets in the first place (when I was Brendan Ryan's age) was that good or bad (happy or sad), the Mets would always put up some sort of fight in the ninth inning, no matter how many runs they were down by. During the latest bad stretch, the Mets would be dead in the final inning (more like the final four innings). No fire, no effort. Kind of like a game I saw back in 1981 (or so) Dave Kingman taking three straight weak hacks at fastballs while at the dish as the last hope for the Mets (he must have had a plane to catch that day).

With Shawn Green's walk in the ninth, I stopped worrying. Good at bats like Green's against Jason Isringhausen are all you can ask for when you're the last hope. So with Valentin up and Green on first, I was overtaken with a sense of calm. Because everything felt all right.

That is until that eight-year-old wouldn't get off Scott Schoeneweis' lawn. (Sorry again, Scott.)

***


Scott Schoeneweis. Pug. Same being? You decide.

***

Anybody else find it weird that the Yankees sign the first players from China, and then just days later they sign an endorsement deal with a Chinese dairy company?

Personnel moves decided by advertising? Oh that's rich.

***

Has Carlos Gomez gotten dusted yet?

Vote Paul Lo Duca!

Well that was a mighty fine start to the homestand, wasn't it? Not only a victory, but a blowout victory at that.

Don't forget to vote Paul Lo Duca for next month's all-star game.

Carlos Beltran's quad certainly seemed no worse for wear either, as he dashed home from third on Carlos Gomez's sacrifice fly.

Hey, vote for Paul Lo Duca five times for the all-star game.

And John Maine was spectacular. When the Mets needed a great effort from their starting pitcher, Maine was there for them with seven and 1/3 innings of four hit ball and only two walks.

Paul Lo Duca needs your votes to take the lead back for starting catcher for the all-star game.

And the lineup seemed to be breaking out a little bit as well. Two hits each for Carlos Delgado, Shawn Green, Jose Reyes, heck even Ricky Ledee had two hits. And David Wright had three!

You know who else had two hits? Paul Lo Duca. And you know he needs your all-star votes.

You might have noticed the frequent in-game requests to vote for Paul Lo Duca for the all-star game. Well, don't worry. Those of us at home were also hit with commercials to vote Lo Duca. This recent election campaign came after Russell Martin of the Dodgers recently took the lead. I myself am mildly surprised that the Mets would undertake a campaign for one player over the others, but Lo Duca is the player that needs your help right now.

But as long as they're spending money to get votes in preparation for this Queens caucus, the ad campaign needs to be a bit stronger. May I suggest:

Small Soldiers

Sometime during the eighth inning, the screen showed that if you stuck around past the game, that you would see a movie called "Small Soldiers".

No thanks, CW11. I've seen enough small soldiers on my television for three plus hours. Of them all, here are the three smallest (in lack of size order):

• Tom Glavine: All right, let's see. An ace is defined, in part, as the guy your teammates look to when you need a big victory. You can all come on this site and comment that John Maine is the ace, or Jorge Sosa is the ace, or Oliver Perez is the ace simply because of their stats. But let's be real. When your offense has been slumping, and you finally get to a rookie who can't find the plate, that team looked to Glavine to give them a quality start. Now, a quality start is giving up no more than three runs in no less than three innings. Heck, five runs in five innings would have been fine. Five runs in five innings is like remembering to bring your number two pencil to your SAT exam, and that's all Glavine needed to do. Glavine instead gave up seven runs in four innings. An ace has gotta have a tad more intestinal fortitude than that. It's not like the team was asking for a whole lot.
• Willie Randolph: I have figured out why the price of gasoline is so high...because Guillermo Mota insists on using buckets of it to put out fires. Yes, Mota is pitching like a dog this season (a sleeping dog who doesn't pay any mind to baserunners). But the two runs in the sixth inning could have been avoided, if only Willie Randolph had just made the prudent decision to walk Hideki Matsui with runners on second and third and two outs. Matsui has probably gotten as many big hits against the Mets as a certain Revlon wearing Ford driving shortstop we all know. And if you don't believe your eyes, then believe what you see on the stat sheet: Matsui was a career .349 lifetime hitter against the Mets before today. The on deck hitter, Robinson Cano, is a career .235 hitter. I know Willie likes to manage by the seat of his pants and I would prefer he stay that way. But today, Willie made the wrong move.
• Carlos Beltran: We here at Folgers have replaced the Mets' normal center fielder with Bobby Abreu. Let's see if they notice...YES, WE'VE NOTICED! PLEASE BRING OUR OUTFIELDER BACK! I know...Carlos Gomez can play left field like Todd Hundley sometimes, but give the kid some credit for the way he battled Mariano Rivera on an eight pitch at bat which resulted in a single. Then, Jose Reyes takes Rivera eight pitches deep for a single of his own. So after that, you mean to tell me that Carlos Beltran swings at the first pitch and foul pops it to the catcher? To complete an 0 for 6 day? This offense scored eight runs on the strength of Jose Reyes and the bottom of the order. Ruben Gotay can't continue to be the lynchpin of the lineup. What could the Mets have done if the middle of the order is hitting like it's capable of? Not to belabor the point but...no hits in six at-bats!!!

There...your small soldiers. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

A Quantity Of One

It sure didn't seem as neat and tidy as a 2-0 win should have been. There were runners all over the place against Oliver Perez, who wasn't too sharp with his control despite not allowing a run through the first three and 1/3.

And then there was Miguel Cairo's fly ball to left field at Yankee Stadium, which has been a coffin corner for the Mets at times, between Lenny Harris' deflected ball off his glove for a home run, and Todd Zeile's home run except for the fact that it wasn't which resulted in Timo Perez becoming a household name by not running. So when Carlos Gomez went back to the wall, there was trouble written all over my television screen.

And when that fan in the front row lept out of his seat to try to become part of the game and interfere with the natural order of life, the worry on my screen grew ten-fold. You know what can happen when kids...or drunks...or well meaning folk with walkmen decide they want to be part of the fun.

But the ball landed harmlessly in a leaping Carlos Gomez's glove, who turned it into a double play, saving the Mets from not only their fifth loss in a row, but the embarrassment of getting through a lineup full of all-star caliber players only to give up the big hit to Miguel freakin' Cairo.

Subsequent to that catch, Perez calmed down and looked a lot better the rest of the way going 7 and 1/3's scoreless before giving way to the bullpen for some stellar work. And by the way, even though it was Gomez and not Chavez, and even though Gomez only prevented a double while Chavez prevented a two run HR, did you think back to Endy's catch when you saw Perez with his arm up in celebration? Did you get all warm and tingly inside for a moment before you remembered how that game ended? Thankfully, this game ended differently.

It still doesn't mask the deficiency of the middle of the order. The Mets lineup, you see, is a tasty treat. Unfortunately, the tasty treat in question is a doughnut. Gomez and Jose Reyes provided the speed and savvy, with Gomez bunting his way on base twice against the aging walrus that is Roger Clemens (gee, making the 45 year old move around...what a novel concept), and Reyes driving both runs in with a single and an upper deck dinger. But Carlos Delgado took the golden sombrero tonight against some less than nasty stuff from Clemens. Diesel struck out against batting practice fastballs, for crying out loud. And the four through eight hitters in the lineup had a grand total of zero hits.

So while the Mets are finally in the win column with a one game winning streak, there was little of quality to fall back on to make this blogger feel that this team is completely out of the woods. Saturday features Tyler Clippard for the Yankees, who baffled the Mets at Shea Stadium causing my back to go out (well, it wasn't exactly Tyler Clippard that did that, but it's a good story). The Mets lineup has an opportunity to get well against this rookie now that there's some tape on him. He fooled them once, shame on him. Fool them twice?

Well, you know who gets shame then.

No Birds Were Harmed In The Cooking Of The Mets' Collective Goose

In my younger days, we used to play softball in a magical place named Hoffman Park, tucked away behind the Boulevard of Death.

The problem that we often faced as softball players on the hard top surface was that every once in a while, some yahoo with bread crumbs would sit on the first base bench spreading bread crumbs and attracting every single seagull in Queens to have breakfast. So here we come to play and there would be birds everywhere. Fly balls were a problem, because you would look up for the ball and would have to dodge bird excrement instead.

How did we get rid of the birds? You never really got rid of them completely, but enough running around and pings off the bat usually did the trick. The same yahoo must have been at Comerica Park (or should I say Audubon Society Park today) with his bread crumbs making playing baseball in Detroit akin to playing catch on the Atlantic City Boardwalk.

Or playing softball at Hoffman Park.

But it's ironic that a stadium with big statues of scary Tigers all around (some with baseballs in their mouths depicting what would happen if a bird would get too close) could be prone to having birds just wander in and make themselves at home all over the outfield...or in somecases, across the infield. But I guess if birds were scared by mere statues, Alfred Hitchcock would have never had a career.

Speaking of irony, during a ball game that looked like an Alfred Hitchcock movie, the Mets came to the mound with a guy who looked more like Sterling Hitchcock today, as Tom Glavine waited until the fourth inning until a frame where he didn't even give up a run. I think we can safely assume that if one were to count the birds that roamed the outfield during today's ballgame, it would be a safe bet that the count would go not one higher than 295.

There's no reason for Glavine to be irritated at anybody but himself today. There's been talk about Glavine getting his jock in a bunch about bad defense and the like, but this was all on Tom today. The Mets are starting to fall into that pattern where they pitch well, but they don't hit. They hit, but they don't pitch well. Glavine had no excuses today, with Magglio Ordonez on the shelf as a late scratch, and Carlos Guillen leaving the game after the third inning with an injury. Instead, he gets beaten by Placido Polanco, and a protection-less Gary Sheffield. And another weekend comeback by the bats in the late innings (with help from Carlos Gomez's first major league home run) gets laid to waste.

And although the Mets scored seven runs today, they always seem to be one hit short these days. They seem to be leaving a ton of runs on the bases...including runners on third with less than two men out. One of those hits here and there would might have made this a winnable game. Instead, it was a football score on the wrong side as the Tigers scored more today than the Detroit Lions normally do.

Charity Starts At Home

So Pedro Martinez threw off of a mound today.

Looked good.

Felt good.

Unfortunately, Petey's return isn't going to get the Mets a key hit.

Oh the Phillies tried...tried their hardest to give the Mets a gift on Tuesday, with Pat Burrell running around to occupied bases, and negotiating the outfield with the dexterity of a water buffalo in a Home Depot. What do the Mets do? They hit the ball right at him, of course.

The Phillies even had one of their better fielders, Aaron Rowand, drop a ball with two outs in the ninth putting David Newhan in scoring position (it's the only way David Newhan is going to get into scoring position without being on a date these days). But that golden opportunity went to waste, and the Phillies won the game 4-2 thanks to a Chase Utley home run in the 11th off of Pedro Feliciano.

At least the almost impervious Feliciano and Joe Smith decided to have their blemishes in the same game, just like they did against the Brewers, instead of spreading them out. For that, we can be thankful. But the lineup is lacking that certain something that made them so good for the last two seasons. With Ben Johnson and Carlos Gomez in the lineup, it makes it easier for a 79 year old pitcher such as Jamie Moyer and others to tip toe his way through said lineup.

You'll have to excuse me while I order those hyperbaric chambers to be sent to the houses of Moises Alou and Shawn Green.

Get well soon.

Really soon.

Look Ma, No Outfield!

I was wondering why Carlos Beltran wasn't turning and going to second on Kevin Frandsen's off target throw as Beltran ran into Rich Aurilia. Well duh, he was hurt!

Unfortunately, hurt enough to leave the game and leave the Mets juggling with an outfield of Endy Chavez, Carlos Gomez, and Ben Johnson. A far cry from Beltran, Moises Alou, and Shawn Green. But hey, when Orlando Hernandez is going the way he was going (after the first inning, of course), you could have an outfield of me, my brother, and my cat (our combined averages are just above Gomez's average right now but we can't cover nearly as much ground...that's why the cat would be in center field), and still come away with the 4-2 victory that they came away with.

The theme of this series was most assuredly "Giants two, Mets coming to bat", as three times the Mets spotted the Giants a two run lead before Jose Reyes' bat was to waggle in the box. Yet the Mets were a mere Barry Zito gem away from possibly sweeping this series. Two out of three, under those circumstances, and under the circumstances of no starting outfielders left standing, is completely acceptable, not to mention completely indicative of the way the Mets' starting staff is able to bounce back from early hiccups...and I give Orlando a boatload of credit. These are usually the kind of games that Hernandez can't bounce back from. He's usually either terrible or brilliant, but never both in one game. Luckily, he got the terrible out of the way and ended off with a whole lot of brilliant.

Of course, an MRI on Carlos Beltran is completely scary, as the last thing the Mets need while they are humming along is for a major cog in the offense to be out for any stretch of time. So y'all keep your fingers crossed.

***

Where were you when Armando got traded?

Where were you when you found out that Carlos Delgado's game winner was the last pitch that Armando Benitez would ever throw in a Giants uniform? Where were you when you found out that the Mets, who couldn't beat Benitez for the longest time, officially became dragon-slayers, retroactively, on Tuesday night? Where were you when you found out that not only have the Mets flushed Benitez out of San Francisco, but basically brought him back to the National League East where our team will have a few more cracks at him?

Of course, it was in a Marlins uniform where Benitez had his greatest successes against the Mets, so I probably shouldn't talk too soon. And more than likely, Benitez isn't going to be let anywhere near the ninth inning unless Kevin Gregg, Henry Owens, Matt Lindstrom, Troy Percival, Bryan Harvey and Charlie Hough all go down with injuries. But rest assured, our paths will cross again in 2007. The Mets and Armando. Armando and the Mets.

So go ahead, Fredi Gonzalez...let him close. I dare you. But you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?"

Do ya?

The Samson Green Curse

Jose Reyes valued his head of hair so much that he was the last holdout to shave his head. But it's Shawn Green who's the one who's proving to be the Samson of the team.

Since Green shaved his head as part of what the NFL would call "OTA's" (organized team activities), Green has not only seen his average drop from .356 to .314, and let a ball drop in front of him which basically prevented a sweep of the Yankees (despite being more aerodynamic), but now he has a broken bone in his foot and is out indefinitely (the word "indefinitely" never sounds good...it always translates to me as "until the end of time).

Just as fielders used to leave their mitts on the field for the opponents in the late 1800's, Green must have left his curse on the field for tonight's starting right fielder...as Carlos Gomez's hamstring felt the power of the curse as he strained his hamstring in the second inning. Keep in mind that Gomez also shaved his head.

Endy Chavez then moved from left field to right field, prompting fears that the curse would claim poor innocent Endy. Aah, but Endy's head was already freshly shaved before the season started (and before the OTA), so he had three hits and a diving catch in right field on Saturday night. So Endy, despite the wolf being at the doorstep, avoids the Samson curse for another evening.

Another previously shaved head came back to life tonight, as Carlos Delgado's two home runs and five RBI's gave the Mets a 7-2 victory. Combine that with what's happening in Atlanta, as the Braves have dropped two straight to the Phillies, Bobby Cox has been ejected for the 4,841st time, and the Mets have quickly gained two games in the division. Combine all that with the return of John Maine to the win column. He still walked four guys...and he still got himself into trouble at spots...but unlike his last start against the Yanks, he got out of trouble which has been his trademark throughout the season.

The departures of Gomez and Green pretty much means that the Mets outfield is going to consist of Chavez, Carlos Beltran, and...and...

and...

David Newhan?

Ben Johnson?

It's gonna seem like a long wait until Moises Alou returns, which should be this week. After that, hope Alou gets healthy. Because indefinitely is a long time.

***

You might have seen the portion of Saturday night's game where Keith Hernandez was banging poor Gary Cohen's head with those thundersticks. But Friday's game scared me a bit. He was eyeballing the girls in the pool just above the right field bullpen saying "hey, if they had pools by the pool while I was playing, I would have wanted to be a reliever instead of an everyday player." And then the camera got a shot of all those girls by the pool that he was all jealous of...

and they're all like, twelve!

Either Keith is going insane, or his production crew is making him out to a pedophile. Either way, I'll never hear those words "I'm Keith Hernandez" quite the same way again.

Real Men And Their Pink Bats

The most insightful thing I can tell you right now is that if you want to take a cue from the pink bats and armbands that major leaguers were using today, then go to this website and donate some money in the name of the New York Mets towards a cure for breast cancer and help them reach their goal of $25,000.

Or, you can buy a pink bat much like the one Carlos Beltran used to put the icing on today's 9-1 cake, and more proceeds will go to the Susan G. Komen foundation.

Otherwise, I'm speechless.

Speechless because Oliver Perez is threatening to make the Xavier Nady trade look not only even, but decidedly in the Mets favor. His 8 and 1/3 inning of shutout ball before Bill Hall's annual Mother's Day Tribute Home Run is going to go a long way towards making believers out of the largest skeptics of Met starting pitching.

(Of course his one hit was to the pitcher, and I think I feel better with Perez giving up the home run to Hall than I would if Perez had pitched a one-hit shutout where the one hit was to the pitcher...just another game that would have tortured my no-hitless soul.)

Speechless because Damion Easley hit another home run, and I'm left wondering what is in this guy's Wheaties...and do they sell it in bulk.

Speechless because Carlos Gomez's debut (two hits, one diving catch, one stolen base), is giving the Mets a future that is starting to match their present.

Speechless because Perez didn't pull a hamstring rounding the bases on Jose Reyes' triple (hey, what's Brian Bannister doing these days?)

Speechless because the Mets have taken two out of three from the team with the best record in the National League...coming just one Mike Pelfrey away from a sweep. Pelfrey, if you hadn't heard, was the New Orleans sacrifice to make room for Gomez, and even though I have been the biggest proponent of keeping Pelfrey up here and letting him work through his problems in the major leagues, I'm at peace with the decision. The major leagues can be used to work through some problems, but not 0-5 with an ERA hovering around seven with a fastball that doesn't move and a slider that is just about as hard on the stomach as the sliders you get from White Castle, but they don't taste nearly as good.