Guilt Trip

Remember when Larry Andersen wanted to "put one in Jose Reyes' neck"?

Well now Reyes is returning to New York for tests because of a hyperactive thyroid, which is in his neck. So may Larry Andersen and the 74 mph fastball he rode in on be ridden with guilt for the rest of his days.

And may Reyes come out of the woods on this soon. While hamstrings may be fair excuses to make silly jokes about the medical staff, hyperactive thyroids are not. (But feel free to make Larry Andersen feel bad anyway.) And they are also unfair to put on the list when talking about somebody who's "injury prone". So while Prevention may not have had a chance on this one, let's encourage Recovery to save its best work for whatever Reyes has. Thankfully, an expert on the situation thinks that what Reyes has isn't going to keep him from playing ball for any length of time.

So there's nobody to hammer on this one until Reyes gets well ... or until the medication he takes to control it is found to be on Bud Selig's banned substance list after it's too late.

***

All right, so here's the question I was faced with today and I put to you ... the smart ones: Would it be wise to consider keeping Jenrry Mejia with the big club as a reliever if he continues to dominate like he did against the Marlins on Friday? Or would you rather keep him in Buffalo as a starter so that he can one day help out your rotation which needs more help down the road than the 'pen? Goose bumped debut aside, I vote for caution.

Of course, I'm the one who tried to rationalize that Doug Mientkiewicz was a better fit for Shea Stadium than Carlos Delgado in 2005, so what the hell do I know?

***

And where's the unwritten rule that says somebody named Mike Stanton must torture me at all times?

No Hard Feelings, Chum?

At least Mike Jacobs doesn't take getting traded personally.

Jacobs is reportedly close to returning to the Mets on a free agent deal, completing the circle of life that had Jacobs traded for Carlos Delgado and making his return the season after Delgado leaves. But it kinda has me scratching my head. Sure, it's a minor league deal, but for his lack of an on base percentage, Jacobs provides some of the power that the Mets have been looking for. So why would the Mets sign him simply to strengthen Buffalo? Unless ...

Unless Jacobs is another one of those moving parts to make a trade with the Reds happen by including Daniel Murphy.

Nah, makes too much sense. Jeff Wilpon wants the Bisons to be a triple-A force. And why would Keith Hernandez bother to spend time teaching Murphy how to play first base? Besides, we know that in addition to the fact that the Mets have now unofficially run out of money (Jacobs is the guy who breaks the bank?), Omar Minaya is only permitted to do one thing at a time:


But that didn't stop the large market GM from claiming career minor-leaguer Jason Pridie off waivers from the Twins yesterday. In an ironic twist, that move enabled the small market Twins to put Orlando Hudson on their 40-man roster. Let that swill in your mouth a little bit.

Oh, sorry. Too negative? Let's translate that last paragraph for the ever growing Sunshine Brigade:

The Mets claimed outfielder Jason Pridie off waivers yesterday. Pridie is low-risk, high-reward.

All right, all right. You want positive for realz, yo? Okay, here goes: Hey, good thing the Mets don't have a pesky winter caravan or a fan fest anymore. It prevents foul-mouthed stuff like this from happening.

From Fall, To Winter, To Fail

As you can imagine, there's a lot of piling on when it comes to the Mets and, pretty much whatever they do. I should know, I'm probably the top guy on the pile (which is to say I get there really, really late), and the Mets have lost so much of the benefit of the doubt that if there's a pile, I'm on it.

That said, I'd like to believe that if the Mets had signed Ben Sheets, I would have been smart enough to realize that it was the best available move given what the Mets have done or not done this winter, and that it would have been, dare I say, the wise move. But alas, the Mets didn't sign Sheets. The Athletics did. And all that's really left to say is that this winter had been labeled as the most important in Mets history ... probably important enough to not go to their old standby of signing one very good player and throwing a whole bunch of spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks.

Instead, the Mets reverted to their same ol' same ol' and did exactly that. Imagine if Jason Bay had doubled back and taken Beirut's the Red Sox' offer. Where would this franchise be? Heck, even Jason Bay only serves to replace the numbers that Carlos Delgado was supposed to bring to the table in 2009. So, even if you assume that all of their injuries are magically healed (which they aren't going to be), are the Mets really better going into 2010 than they were going into 2009? And don't you think they need to be after the most important off-season in Mets history?

Now you can tell me that at least the Mets were in it for Sheets, and they were. Just not at the end when it counted. But it's funny how when it was apparent that the Mets weren't getting Sheets, Snoop Manuel went into jilted lover mode:

"I don't think the inventory out there is great."

The feeling is apparently mutual. And as the inventory gets worse and worse every day, it tells me that there really wasn't anything Omar Minaya could have done to bring him here outside of giving him the key to the vault and a signed Jeff McKnight jersey. Because if Sheets' perception is that Oakland gives him a better chance to win than the Mets, it's a perception that has been cultivated at a level higher than Minaya ... cultivated in part by the decision to bring Minaya back even though his strengths and weaknesses are in direct conflict with what the Mets needed this winter.

It's a quote I'll remember when Minaya signs John Smoltz.

Old Habits Die Hard

"Yeah, let's replace Livan Hernandez with somebody older and less durable. Yeah! That'll work just fine!!! Now let's crack open those beers."

If you were a fly on the wall of the Mets war room, that might have been what you heard as the powers that be have discussed the possibility of John Smoltz being a Met. That's the John Smoltz who will be 43 in May (for perspective, that's two years and eight months older than Orel Hershiser was when he pitched for the Mets). That's also the same John Smoltz who pitched a total of 106 innings over the last two seasons due to injuries.

Not that I'm that crazy about anybody who's left in the free agent market (it's so bad that Joel Pineiro is looking like the Brooklyn Decker of starting pitchers right now), but the fact that the Mets are even thinking of bringing John Smoltz into the fold proves that this regime is never going to learn. Ever. Doesn't matter much if they sign him or not, they're thinking about it. That's reason enough for me to overreact ... because the pattern is starting again.

They make a good signing with Jason Bay, and now threaten to make five bad ones to back that up. Bengie Molina will be that first bad signing, and Smoltz might be right behind him on that list. (And Carlos Delgado might be third, but that's another blog for another time.) Because there's nothing like filling holes with old guys who are ripe to get injured and expose a farm system under siege. Sound like any particular season you might have lived through lately? You don't have to think too hard about this one.

It's a bad move whether he's the fifth starter or a bullpen option. It was one thing when they were backing up Frankie Rodriguez with J.J. Putz and Sean Green. Now it's John Smoltz and Kelvin Escobar? That's 111 innings in four seasons of baseball. Putz has the durability of Brett Favre next to these two.

And that's not even mentioning the fact that Tom Glavine is Smoltzie's golfing buddy which means there's a chance we could see Glavine show up at Citi Field with a Mets hat to support his buddy ... and looking all devastated as his friend gets torched by the Brewers for six runs in two and a third. (Oh, did I say devastated? I meant slightly disappointed.) I dare say this would induce more vomit than seeing Roger Clemens attend the Texas/Alabama game on Thursday. Glavine had better hope that he sits in one of those suites where the angry mobs can't get to him.

A Step Behind

All right, so we're mere hours into the off-season, so let's kick it off by being impatient. It's so "New York Cliche" to be impatient, but I'm embracing it.

How can I help it? Already we've heard that the Mets are scared off by Aroldis Chapman's asking price, scared off by John Lackey's asking price, and have already missed out on two players widely thought to be potential parts of the Mets renaissance: Mark Teahen (to the White Sox) and Jeremy Hermida (to the Red Sox). With Carlos Delgado filing for free agency, maybe making a move for an upgrade at first base would have helped. Or, maybe Hermida would have been an option in left field, or as a better fourth outfielder option than whatever next season's 35-year-old flavor of the month might be. But I guess that's why Omar Minaya makes the big bucks getting Jeff Wilpon coffee while I just spew crap here in this space.

If the modus operandi of this team is truly going to change, then apparently it has to be done quick. Because even after one day without baseball, teams seem to be proactive in filling holes while the Mets have already stumbled out of the gate. Maybe the Mets do have a plan in mind. Maybe it does involve Lackey and/or Chapman, and everything we've heard from the media is a Mets induced smokescreen to hide a better plan.

I hope there's a better plan. And I hope they're right.

***

For those who wonder why I don't "support the Yankees for my city because I'm a New Yorker" or root for the Yankees because in 1986 Yankee fans "rooted for the Mets against the Red Sox", I bring you Carol Hirsch.

Carol Hirsch, 50, of Fair Lawn bought two sweatshirts, three T-shirts and a pennant for herself and her boyfriend. Part of it, she said, was to show her pride in her favorite team.

"And to stick it to Mets fans," she added. "We have a lot of friends who are Mets fans."

Check, and mate.

Gone Fishin'

Does J.J. Putz count as two injured players since he frayed an entirely different muscle?

Does Johan Santana count as two injured players because he's Johan Santana?

That means the Mets lost four players for the season in one day.

Awesome. You realize that along with Oliver Perez's latest injury (why isn't he shut down for the season?), the starting rotation right now is Mike Pelfrey, Nelson Figueroa, Pat Misch, Tim Redding, and Bobby Parnell. And the lineup consists of players that even Livan Hernandez could shut down ... and probably will now that he's a National again.

Football season can't get here fast enough.

Stand By Mets

At least they'll all be together now in Port St. Lucie as they find themselves, go down the train tracks to look at Victor Zambrano's dead career, and share recipes that involve Baconnaise. Oh to be young and injured.

(Featuring J.J. Putz as "Ace" ... head of the Cobras.)

Our Crumbling House

So with J.J. Putz developing a bone spur and fixing to be out for a couple of games, and Carlos Delgado perhaps being out anywhere from this weekend to ... forever, this is going to really test Omar Minaya's ability to put together a 25-man roster.

So who's scared?

When Delgado was day-to-day, I was against putting Daniel Murphy at first base. If you're going to have Murph play there all season, then give him every opportunity to learn the position. But if we're talking months for Delgado? Then by all means put Murphy at first, Tatis in left, Church in right, and have Sheffield as your bench pop (not your cleanup hitter/regular left fielder as he seems to be now ... seems that someone is thinking it's 1999, and not 2009.)

But whatever you do the fact remains, this team is thin. Delgado is out with his bone spur in his hip (can we put him on the DL already), Putz is out with a bone spur (at least now there's a reason for his struggles) and even Reyes missed Thursday's game with a bone spur he developed in his brain on Wednesday. The Mets call it a "tight calf", but come on, that could be another created injury which is code for "we're benching you because of a foggy brain but we're not going to embarrass you" (with the discovery of new injuries left and right, I think we're talking Nobel Prize in inventive medicine for the training staff.)

Thankfully, the Mets were able to survive Bobby Parnell's shaky foray into the eighth inning (albeit while being dinked and dunked), and Sheffield was able to survive stealing third base (seriously, he's old ... every stolen base could be his last act in baseball) with three runs in the ninth and a 7-4 win against the Giants. I don't know what lucky shamrock Carlos Beltran is carrying, but once again he stole third in more ways than one setting up the go ahead run in the ninth (Larry Jones is currently petitioning the league office for more competent baseball gods), driven in by David Wright who, apparently, just needed to get away from New York for a while as he not only drove in the winner but stole four bases.

Good catches by both announcers tonight. Gary Cohen, for noting that the Mets set a team record for most steals in a game without Reyes. And by Keith Hernandez who, while discussing a mutual sponsor of the Mets and Giants noted: "Speaking of sponsors, Fran Healy was the catcher in that old Willie Mays highlight."

Thank you Keith, for reminding us how much Fran Healy loved sponsors, and how amazing it is that I didn't throw paperweights through the television set while Healy was pitching Cheez Doodles and Optimo Cigars for all those years.

Hey, where's Oliver?

Seems that rehab took a sad turn as Oliver Perez was eliminated from American Idol on Thursday night.

The Value Of The Chateau Bow-Wow

If Ryan Church is doing something behind the scenes that has him in Snoop Manuel's Dogg House like ... say, burning Snoop's library of Nancy Drew mysteries, then far be it from me to scream about it. All I know is that he's the one losing at-bats so that Gary Sheffield, Jeremy Reed, and Fernando Tatis can all get at-bats. And that, along with the litany of things that have been said about Church, and the fact that Wily Mo Pena, Rob Mackowiak, and John Cangelosi seem to have a better chance of getting at-bats than Church, tells me that he's in some sort of disfavor. Actions speak louder than words, and Ryan Church on the bench against a right-hander while Carlos Delgado is on the cliff contemplating a dive into the disabled list, speaks volumes. I would think that in the same way we're all worried about keeping Sheffield sharp with at-bats, I would think that Church would have a better chance getting out of his current slump with regular at-bats. But nobody pays me to think.

I only ask this: If you're going to trade him, which is more apparent with each passing day, can we not wait until his value is such that the best you can get back for him is the third season of The Sopranos on used DVD, a half eaten tuna fish sandwich, and Roberto Hernandez? The Mets seem to be experts at selling low. Let's not have that happen this time 'round. Okay?

In other news, the Mets won on Tuesday in the tenth after tying the game in the ninth off Mike Gonzalez. Maybe Gonzalez will stop rocking like he's Ed Norton doing the hucklebuckle. And many thanks to Jeff Bennett for his spot on impression of Sean Green's impression of Kenny Rogers. It made the kids laugh. All that were missing were the balloon animals.

Speaking of animals, how is Oliver Perez's rehab going?

Oh, there he is. Dog races are the order of the day. Bored with attending basketball games, Oliver Perez decided to mentor Golden Earring and entered him in some races in Florida. He monitored the dog's diet and made sure his mechanics were always pointed forward. The result:

Good news, as the coaching that Golden Earring received from Oliver paid off with a blue ribbon. The bad news? Well, without the coaching of Dan Warthen, Perez put back on the pounds he had lost after the World Baseball Classic.

Where will Oliver wind up tomorrow during his "rehab"? I can't wait to find out.

Pirate Focus

It only seems that the Mets have been horrid against the Pirates over the last four years. They haven't ... going 16-12 from 2005-2008. But among the 12 there always seemed to be a Tike Redman, a Ronny Paulino, or a Steve Pearce that make one loss carry enough heartache for two or three.

The common thread with those losses and tonight might have been weaved as, for a short while in the ninth on Friday, it looked like J.J. Putz (with help from the omni-present former hockey player and current ground covering outfielder Nyjer Morgan) was going to add to that list of horrific losses that make me want to pour boric acid down my eye sockets.

But Putz got it together and saved (though only figuratively ... not in the stat line) Bobby Parnell his first major league win, and thus kept the Mets win streak alive at five. Make no mistake. This is no ordinary win. Because sure the Mets beat the Braves and Phillies four straight. But in the last two seasons ... especially last year ... it wasn't really about the Braves or the Phillies. it's been about the Pirates. And the Nationals. And the Marlins. And teams that the Mets always beat on paper but not where it counts, and not in the moments that count.

It would have been easy for the Mets to attempt to mail this one in and be all proud of themselves for winning four in a row against their mortal enemies. Instead, the Mets did all we could ask of them against your run of the mill regular opponent which is pitch well (welcome back to the show, Jon Niese), score some runs late (thanks to Carlos Beltran's cue shot and Carlos Delgado going all Dae Sung Koo on Sean Burnett), and only partially collapse in the bullpen (and not completely like some seasons we aren't going to mention here).

I don't think it's asking a lot.

Even MacGyver Gets More Run Support

I'm starting to think that MacGyver had more to work with than Johan Santana.

I'm also starting to think that if you gave Johan a rubber band, some cellophane, and a three inch swatch of sandpaper that he could build an armored tank trained to shoot lasers at Jayson Werth.

The Mets lineup, meanwhile, seemed to go up to the plate against Chan Ho Park with rubber bands instead of bats, as they only managed one hit in six innings against him. (As the kids like to say: WTF?)

The good news, besides the Mets 1-0 win against Philly on the strength of a physical error by Pedro Feliz and a mental error by Werth (not to mention Carlos Delgado's blinding speed on the play) is that the lineup's pathetic performance against Park has bought him a few more turns in the Phillie rotation, possibly buying the Mets a couple more games in the standings as Park implodes.

But that's speculative. Hey speaking of explosions, let's see how Johan is coming with that tank:

Wow, Johan really can do it all. Very nice.

Oh, and I guess they really couldn't take Oliver Perez's musings in the dugout, as he's finally on the disabled list with patella tendinitis (it's the fanciest name they could come up with to confuse us into thinking that this is an actual injury). Jon Niese takes his place on the roster and will start on Friday instead of Ken Takahashi. If Niese does well, then perhaps you can call him "Ollie Pipp".

Soft Hands

Okay Carlos, I realize you probably got a good chunk of change and some free cocoa butter from Palmer to talk about your "soft hands" on defense. But you're not supposed to slather your mitt and your soft hands in cocoa butter during the game.

The new commercial says "Hands Up". Notice, Carlos, that "Hands" is plural. Both hands ... two hands go up.

Thankfully, Larry Jones also uses Palmer's. Nice throw.

But who among you isn't going to laugh their ass off the next time they see Carlos Delgado talking about the need to take runs away on defense ... sponsored by Palmer's ... after dropping out number 27 and making everybody sweat a Larry at-bat as the winning run? I challenge you. You can't do it.

And the whole Luis Castillo thing, the error followed by throwing his glove on the field at the end of the inning (is that what Omar Minaya meant by "fire"?) after it didn't cost the Mets anything not only looked familiar, but came mere minutes after a conversation I was having regarding whether Luis might have gained all that weight back that he lost going into spring training. What this means? Damned if I know. I do know that Livan Hernandez had a stellar game against a team that can't hit ... as he should.

Blood Thinners, Anyone?

Now I know how Fred Sanford felt.

I just assume these days that most Mets games are going to end up just like Wednesday's nine inning marathon did. Frankie Rodriguez has to know ... and if he doesn't he'll learn ... that he can get all the saves and break all the records he wants when he's wearing Anaheim red ('xcuse me ... Los Angeles of Anaheim red). But when he closes games for the orange and blue, being behind on the count 2-0 is automatic. From Sisk to Orosco to Franco to Benitez to Looper to Wagner, Frankie Rodriguez is just the next victim in the chain. Honestly, what makes him so special that he can just get through ninth innings without some sort of challenge ... whether it be not having his best stuff, or an umpire being talked into a call by the runner?

Or tonight, both?

Go ahead and watch that play where Delgado pulled himself off the bag to try to throw out Brandon Phillips going to third base in the ninth. It's okay to admit that Delgado was, in fact, off the bag. But he's the issue I have with it: If Carlos was indeed off the bag, it was by a couple of inches at most. And Bill Welke was way out of position to make that call. Welke was talked into the call by Edwin Encarnacion, who gets the Lee Mazzilli award for that stunt.

But Frankie caused a lot of his own problems by pretending that 2009 was actually 2008, and also by pretending that he was Aaron Heilman in a very demented game of charades where it's easy to mimic "blown save". Rodriguez, however, had the intestinal fortitude to reach up to the top shelf and pull down some of those pitches he saves for a rainy day and finish off the Reds once and for all.

(Hey, I'm not complaining. Frankie's replacement in Anaheim just gave up three runs in the ninth and blew his first save. Uh-oh.)

So now with the entire back end of the pen having gone the first two games, it would be nice if Oliver Perez could give the Mets a little length for the day game after the night game. But the optimist in me says that Perez will probably put the Mets behind by about seven runs by the time you read this, so Rodriguez, J.J. Putz, and Sean Green aren't going to be needed anyway. If I were Brian Stokes though, I'd start warming up now. (Billy Wagner is already warming up ... but he'll only be effective on eleven months rest.)

(Yeah, I said optimist. I could have said "down by forty runs".)

Mike Pelfrey won with less than his best.

Oh, and you're a true connoisseur of baseball if you were more impressed by Delgado's single to the left side to drive in the sixth run than you were by his tape measure blast in the first inning. If Jerry Manuel's 80 pitches in 6.6 seconds drill is truly going to have this effect on Delgado, maybe teams will stop playing the dopey shift on him.

***

Gary Sheffield's outfield workout before Wednesday's game didn't go so well.

To Gary Sheffield's credit, he has yet to leave roadkill on my doorstep for anything that I've written on this blog. But because he was preparing for a season where he didn't have to play the outfield, maybe he ate the roadkill.

“I knew I was just hitting, so I kept weight on just to be able to hit and keep my strength. Now I’m asked to do something else, so I have to get the weight off and be able to do both.” -Gary Sheffield

And Jimmy Thought We Were Bad ...

I'm hearing that Jose Reyes and Carlos Delgado are interested in freshening up their act a little bit.

Omar Minaya: Behind The Blow

Well, another red letter season has come do an end (and that red letter is F ... I'll let you figure out what that stands for.) And believe it or not, I still have s**t to say. The following is one in a series of random stuff I'm throwing against the wall about person or persons of my choosing. These are your New York Mets: Behind the Blow.

I'm not sure there's a more polarizing figure on the Met landscape than Omar Minaya. And I'm also not sure there's a more scrutinized GM in baseball right now either. You love him, you hate him. And after two straight collapses, my guess is that most of you hate him.

There's a lot of angst over Minaya getting a four-year contract ... announced officially after the season was over but leaked before Collapse II, which made it all the more painful for fans to swallow. My response to that is not to get worked up over the length of the contract. It's not good business practice to have anyone ... especially Minaya ... in a position where he needs to make moves with the spectre of not being employed next season looming. That's a recipe for disaster, because Minaya needs to always think "long term" with this organization while he's there. When you see guys like Jed Lowrie and Justin Masterson be merely the latest in a significant line of Red Sox prospects who come up from the minor leagues and make huge contributions immediately, you wonder where that's been in Minaya's tenure.

At the risk of sounding like an apologist, some of that has started to happen. Both Daniel Murphy and Nick Evans have come up and helped the team in varying degrees ... Murphy looks like a keeper, and at the very worst, Evans could be trade bait to help some various holes (cough ... bullpen ... cough) that the Mets have. Whatever you believe about Minaya not being able to shore up the bullpen at the deadline, the alternative would have been to blow young players like Murphy, Evans, Eddie Kunz and the like to acquire from a limited pool of relievers including Jon Rauch and Arthur Rhodes (Rauch was horrible with Arizona and Rhodes ... incredibly ... was outstanding for Florida in his 13 innings. Though with the Mets he probably would have been terrible ... and he's still 38.) And then how would you have felt? The problem in 2007 was that the team was too old and, yes, bored. Minaya has seemingly reversed course and has relied more on the farm system. There's still a long way to go with the farm system, but Murphy and Evans are a start. And those calling for Minaya's head should take a look at the big picture and realize that even with all of Omar's faults, the organization is in significantly better shape now than it was in 2004.

Have we all forgotten 2004? I mean, sure ... you may complain about Carlos Delgado. But would you rather have Wilson Delgado?

But now that the season is over, and seemingly more relievers would probably be available, it would behoove Minaya to make sure that bullpen looks completely different than it did last year, four-year deal or no four-year deal ... because a third disaster will likely mean his head. So they have to pay him to do nothing for three seasons. With all the money they're getting selling their championship banners, foul poles, dugouts, and napkin holders, the Wilpons will barely feel the sting. Let's put it this way, when the first reliever comes into the game at Citi Field, he shouldn't just be announced, we'd better see Ty Pennington with a megaphone yelling "drop that curtain".

In other words, there had better be a makeover ... and it had better be extreme.

But here's what worries me about Omar Minaya and the Mets bullpen ... for that matter, it's the same thing that worries me about Omar Minaya and the rest of the roster: It's his penchant for falling in love with reclamation projects. There are only so many times that turning to the likes of Jose Valentin, Orlando Hernandez, and Fernando Tatis are going to work ... and when they work, the payoff has a limited shelf life. Combine that with the soundbite that came from Minaya (or perhaps it was Jerry Manuel but it's indicative of the same problem) when asked about getting Frankie Rodriguez:

"We're going to be creative with the bullpen."

Creativity takes many forms. Matt Groening is creative. Mozart was creative. So was Roman Polanski. Polanski is also a fugitive from justice for having intercourse with a minor. If you give a five-year-old a crayon and a wall, he can be creative too. But all you get are scribbles on a wall. I got a computer to be creative. But instead of writing the Great American Novel, all I could come up with was a blog where I make jokes about Wilson Delgado.

Creativity could be a good thing with the bullpen. Maybe Minaya will target guys like J.P. Howell from the Rays. Maybe he'll force Billy Beane to take a reasonable offer for Huston Street. Perhaps a guy like Frank Francisco from Texas will be available. Maybe Brian Fuentes will be willing to come to New York and close if K-Rod takes his 62 saves elsewhere. There's a whole host of guys out there who have been successful in the major leagues in the past six months that could be had at the right price. But what worries me is that the Omar Minaya I know has already given orders to the clubhouse staff to sew "Urbina" on a jersey for the first official news conference from Citi Field.

Because as you know, incarcerated relievers are as creative as it gets.

Just For Mets

I never bother with post game news conferences. People get up to the podium and say the same boring things over and over again. Drives me nuts.

So when it was time for Snoop Manuel to discuss what was perhaps the worst loss of the season afterwards, I got ready to leave the room only to hear his opening statement:

"Oh it's baaaaaaaaad. It's baaaaaaaaad."

Sign number one your season is in trouble: When your manager sounds like Emmitt Smith in the rocking chair from the Just For Men commercial, it really is bad. Emmitt, thespian that he is, sounded like he was dying in the commercial (I don't know how you die from gray hair but that's another conversation.) This Mets season is dying a slow painful death too.

It should have been a glorious evening with the Braves not only doing to the Phillies what they did to the Mets this week, but with Julian Tavarez and Shane Victorino arguing like two old ladies going after the last hair clip at Target.

(Editor's note: If Shane Victorino and Julian Tavarez fought to the death, I wouldn't know who to root for.)

Instead, only missed opportunity ... much like that ninth inning where Daniel Murphy tripled to start off the inning, and David Wright struck out for the first out, allowing the Cubs to walk the Carloses to get to the absolutely putrid Ryan Church ... who promptly grounded into a fielders choice for the second out to expedite the end of the inning, and perhaps the Mets' playoff hopes.

(Retrospective Irony: If Murphy had only singled rather than tripled, the Carloses get at-bats instead of intentional walks after Wright's strikeout. But if Wright doesn't swing at ball four, then at least one of them gets an at-bat. At least Wright is still handsome, and has a wax statue.)

Oh it's bad, especially when Fredi Gonzalez has announced that he's playing his regulars in the final series of the season.

Asked why, Florida's manager said: "To stick it to the Mets again just as we did last year because we hate them and we hate everything about them For the integrity of the game and for the way you should play the game. That's the only way to do it. Like we did last year."

Yup, I think Wednesday was the last nail in the coffin. Oh it's baaaaaaaaaaad.

(Editor's note: In the spirit of missed opportunity, I am usually keenly aware of chicken finger night on Wednesdays, when my job puts out chicken fingers for the staff. Last night, I missed the chicken fingers. I felt like Ryan Church, David Wright, and Fluff Castro combined. So it was that kind of night. I choked. Clearly, it's an epidemic.)

Stimulated

I know that most Met fans aren't allowing themselves to get ahead of themselves ... asking themselves such questions as:

• Will the Mets go to three starters or four in the playoff rotation?
• Will Aaron Heilman be on the post-season roster or not?
• Will Andy Phillips get a full World Series share?

But with last night's victory (and admit it: you loved that 10-8 score even though Oliver Perez was hit around and Jerry Manuel broke the new Met rule of "never pitch Nelson Figueroa against a bunch of softball girls") it's all right to feel good. No, I'm not going to feel better until the Mets are seven games in first place with sixteen games to play, but to see Carlos Delgado not only hit home runs but knock down satellites in the process is key ... not only because he's been the key to this lineup ever since he's gotten to New York, not only because the whispers of "MVP" have turned into full blown chants, and not only because I bought his jersey back in April when he stunk and he made me look like a genius.

But because Carlos Delgado is the guy who said this last season:

"I think at times we can get a little careless. We've got so much talent I think sometimes we get bored."

For as much undue flak Delgado received for that, it really is nice that he's the guy now carrying this team. Because who knows if he was talking primarily about the team or about himself ... but the one thing you can say now that Delgado has morphed into Ted Williams is that there's no way he's bored. If he was bored, would he have 11 home runs against lefties this season (as opposed to four last season?) Manny Acta thought he would be cute last night and bring in lefty Charlie Manning in against Uno Cinco to turn him around and then have Manning in to face Delgado ... they both homered (Charlie's no Peyton, obviously.) You can't get cute with the Carloses anymore.

So feel good ... it's okay to dream about post-season shares. Because you know, Ambiorix Burgos will probably need that share for legal fees. Idiot.

(Editor's note: At least Brian Bannister's ERA is rather high.)

It's Official ...

The man is insane.

Only On YES

This date in Yankees history:

September 8th, 2008: The Yankees give up six runs in the sixth inning of a 12-1 loss to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim ... in that same sixth inning, Pudge Rodriguez was ejected along with Torii Hunter after a brawl.

But more importantly than that, during the sixth inning, the Yankees Entertainment and Sports Network went to a commercial ... and that commercial featured New York Mets stars Carlos Delgado and Carlos Beltran pitching Puerto Rico Tourism. This commercial would air at least one more time during this particular Yankees loss. This is significant due to the multitude of Derek Jeter commercials shown on SNY, the Mets television network.

If you would like to read about some more great Yankees memories, go out and buy "This BAD Day in Yankees History" by Gabriel Schechter.

Win One, Lose Two

Great. Carlos Delgado hits two mammoth home runs, Johan Santana keeps the Mets in first place after Pedro gets knocked around in the opener (by the way, Greg Dobbs is really starting to piss me off), and what little fun I enjoy is ruined with the news that Billy Wagner is out for the season. Fasten your seat belts, indeed.

Help us Obi Wan Ayala. You're our only hope.