It's Hard To Find Good Tutors

Chris Coste's Met career ... a photo essay:

Have Cream Will Travel

"If we have to go with (Omir), we will." -Snoop Manuel

And with that, you knew the deed wasn't far away. That one line was the equivalent of the mob boss kissing you on both cheeks, telling you your days were numbered. The Mets' signing of Rod Barajas took forever, but the fate of Omir Santos was quickly sealed with a virtual two to the back of the head.

It happens that quick. It wasn't even nine months ago that Santos was participating in the two high points of the 2009 season, one of them against some guy named Papelbon. His clutch hits leapfrogged him over both Brian Schneider and Fluff Castro to the point that an afternoon game had to be delayed for like four hours so that Santos could pinch hit for Fluff ... only to pop out with the bases loaded. But a couple of well timed hits later sent Fluff to Chicago to catch a perfect game, Omir in the sweetheart suite, and Schneider to the doghouse (and eventually to Philadelphia).

And now, perhaps in no small part to some starters subtly begging for another catcher to work with, Omir is a man without a home. Where exactly is he going to go? He isn't going to be the backup, that's Hank White's job now. Buffalo? Sorry, Josh Thole needs to play. And Chris Coste needs to be that positive influence as Thole's backup. So where will Omir go? Can the Mets really get anybody of value for a guy who gets on base less than three out of every ten and has a 1.000 career average against Jonathan Papelbon?

Sailed Ships

You know the expectations for your off-season have been lowered just a bit when the Mets go after somebody for three months, don't get him, and it's considered a success.

We Met fans will take what we can get.

Bengie Molina, who is just marginally better than Spike Nolan of the Hackensack Bulls, is headed back to the San Francisco Giants after GM Brian Sabean announced that "that ship has sailed". What Sabean didn't count on was that Molina's ship crashed into Derek Bell's yacht and never quite made it out of McCovey Cove.

That's the good news. The bad news is that Omar Minaya's sudden and inexplicable inability to multi-task has left the Mets without an outside option at catcher. Sure, we'd like to think that there's something else lined up, the fact is that we're most likely going to get another heaping dose of Omir Santos in 2010, with a sprinkling of Hank Blanco. But whatever happens, Bengie Molina can get old and break down somewhere else. And that's addition by subtraction. Or ... stagnation by subraction. Or, avoiding Bengie Molina because we have a younger version of Bengie Molina, thus avoiding the stigma of having one of Yadier Molina's brothers on the team. Because that would be kinda awkward.

If all else fails, I think Spike Nolan's still floating around the minors.

What Have You Learned? Brian Schneider

What Have You Learned is our very special off-season series that will outline what you've learned, what I've learned, and hopefully what the 2009 Mets have learned about themselves, others, and 2010. Today, we look at Brian Schnieder, and most likely jinx his very existence.

I pretty much knew it was a lost cause when I led off my "Behind the Blow" series by writing about Scott Schoeneweis. There was a part of me hoping that Schoeneweis would make a return trip to Shea in '09 as I wrote that on October 1st of '08. By December 12th, Schoeneweis was gone, for some guy named Connor Robertson.

Now, as I write to you about Brian Schneider, I'm also hoping against hope that Schneider comes back even though you, your family, your friends, Omar Minaya, Omar Minaya's friends, and for some reason Avril Lavigne (?) are hoping for Schneider to be gone. I don't blame you. But considering the options out there, Brian Schneider doesn't look so bad.

Now there's going to have to be an offensive upgrade at a few other positions to make this palpable. You could have upgraded this position in one fell swoop by trading for Victor Martinez. But that ship has sailed and is currently docked in the Charles river. So who's left? Rod Barajas? He had 19 HR's last year but also batted .220. Bengie Molina? At the age where catchers start that inevitable descent off the cliff? Yorvit Torrealba?

Oh, silly me.

Then you look at the internal options. Josh Thole is a catcher who needs some work on catching the ball. Three passed balls and one error in 16 games tells me he needs to expand the zone ... his comfort zone. He's going to be a fine hitter, but only if he gets a little more time in the minors to refine his stroke and be completely ready to go when he gets back to the show, rather than become 2010's version of Daniel Murphy.

And Omir Santos? He's going to live off that Papelbon home run for a long time ... it's probably gotten him further than he deserves, and he'll live off that for at least a few more months going into next season. But look at his numbers. They tell me that the offensive upgrade from Schneider to Santos isn't worth what you lose in defense and in calling a game. If the upgrade was from Schneider to Victor Martinez? No brainer.

It would have taken management having a set to make a trade for Martinez while being far out. But that didn't happen. The options that exist now don't excite me enough to stick with what we have ... which is an inexperienced Thole and a journeyman in Omir Santos. As with Murphy, it would take some major upgrades at other positions to make keeping Schneider palatable. This team needs major upgrades at other positions anyway, so why not consider Schneider's return as a way to help the pitching staff a little bit ... or at the very least give Mike Pelfrey a personal catcher that can actually make a difference (not like giving Paul Bako any credit for being Greg Maddux's caddy)?

Well ... here's why not: Because you can't bring back Brian Schneider and Daniel Murphy. And if the choice is a semi-decent prospect and a journeyman catcher, you bring back the guy with the higher ceiling, and that's Murphy. If you bring in a left fielder, a first baseman, and maybe even a second baseman like Dan Uggla, then there's a chance for Schneider to come back. And maybe you have to use Murphy as a trade chip to make that happen. That said, you can also make a good case to bring Murphy back (which I will attempt in the near future), just as you can make a case for Schneider to come back (which is more a concern about the lack of catching options out there). But you can't bring both back ... there's no good case for that.

Now that I've written a piece that's somewhat pro-Schneider, expect to hear tomorrow that Schneider's been released so that he can sign with Telemarket Rimini.

Itemized

The lords of baseball saw an opportunity to throw some high hard ones by me while I've been away. To that I say, ha! You're going to have to do a lot better than this to get one by me. Besides, I have a team of experts not only finding these stories for me, they read them to me, they explain them to me, they spell out some of the words phonetically to me, and they diffuse bombs in their spare time.

So without further ado, I give you: "The things you've missed while I've been away."

Or is that, "The things I've missed while you've been away?"

Maybe it's "The things that we've all missed while David Wright's been away" ...

Oh, the hell with it, here's some stuff to read:

Item: Scott Kazmir traded to the Angels for two players not named Victor Zambrano.

First person that says "see, told you so" gets a beating. Kazmir for Zambrano: Still the worst trade ever. Anybody who wants me to rehash why it's worse than Ryan for Fregosi is more than welcome to ask.

Here's the funny thing, the Rays trading Kazmir for prospects is a "future" trade. The Mets trading Kazmir for Zambrano was a "now" trade. (Actually, it was a "never" trade.) The Rays are closer to first place "now" than the Mets were "then". Meanwhile, I can't be sure ... but I think Victor rang me up at Old Navy the other day.

Item: Billy Wagner finally gets into a game for Boston, and strikes out three in his inning of work.

Hooray for Country Time. And even though Brian Cashman was probably only doing his due dilligence for claiming Chris Carter on waivers from the Red Sox, and even though keeping Carter from joining the Mets this season in the Wagner trade is probably akin to doing him a favor and keeping him from getting injured ... screw you Cashman. Your team has the best team in baseball and you still have to cause unnecessary problems. We have enough necessary problems, for crissakes.

Surprisingly, it took until Sunday for Billy to get into a game. Apparently, Terry Francona is only allowed to pitch him if he doesn't throw a bullpen session, throw darts against Papelbon, or throw up earlier in the day. So I wasn't able to give you a video of "Enter Sandman" in Fenway Park from Friday. So instead I give you Jason Bay from Friday, for no other reason than to remind Steve Phillips that he traded him for Steve Reed.



Thanks for giving me that initial slice of hell that has been compounded over time.

Item: Catcher Josh Thole to be promoted, may only bat against righties.

Wait, this is the organization that rushes their prospects through the system ... so they could reach the majors and be coddled? Memo to Snoop: your major league catchers can't hit lefties (Santos: .234, Schneider: POINT ZERO ZERO ZERO). I know we're long past the point of managing to win (that point being 2008), but can we use our brains, if only a little bit? The next Joe Mauer could be here in September. Or, the next Joe Mauer could be in somebody else's organization. Or, the next Joe Mauer may be merely a twinkle in some groupie's eye right now. We'll never know for sure, because the Mets will continue to groom players of all shapes and sizes to be nothing more than glorified platoon/utility players, putting them in a box with no hope of breaking out and being more than what they are perceived to be.

Sounds a lot like life ... or at least life in Flushing.

Item: Jeff Kent honored in the Giants Wall of Fame (sent to the home office by Squawker Lisa).

Fans can visit the wall and wash the very motorcycle that Kent claimed to had been washing when he broke his wrist.

Item: Aaron Heilman pitches two innings of shutout baseball against the Mets on Saturday, only giving up one hit.

Seems that Heilman was claimed on waivers by a National League team on Thursday. If the Mets were that team, I'm burning down Citi Field. Immediately.

Triple play? Pshaw. Castillo Schmastillo. This ... is ... rock ... bottom.

Item: Jim Duquette blasts Mets for cancelling their fall instructional league.

Okay, scratch that. This is rock bottom.

And it brings it all full circle, doesn't it? We started with Kazmir, why not end with Duquette? When this is the man that is killing your organization for being cheap, what does that tell you? What does that tell you??? Jim Duquette is throwing tomatoes at you ... with more accuracy than Oliver Perez, at that!

"Now the rumors within the scouting circles are that they can't afford - which it roughly costs about 300 grand to staff and to invite and fly down all the players, to having meals throughout for about, it's like a 4 to 5 week program. It gives you a chance to extend the development of your young players, of your prospects. And they're not gonna have it. They have cancelled it for this fall. And to me, being a development guy, that's big news. If you're development oriented, it's not a good decision in my opinion."

Maybe that's why Thole is only batting against righties ... because they can't afford to develop his batting eye against lefties. Boy oh boy, nothing verifies the myth of a bad farm system like ... not developing your farm system. Thanks, Mr. Wilpon.

In a related story, the Mets have saved millions in salary by trading Danny Meyer to the Padres in exchange for Grimace, the Hamburglar, and a fictional character to be named later. Shake Shack will now serve delicious McDonald's cheeseburgers for the 2010 season.

That's Hank Aaron Award Nominee Angel Pagan To You, Sir

The line from Wednesday's boxscore reads as such:

A. Hernandez ss-2b-ss-2b

It's brilliant when you think about it, switching him back and forth in the same game. Because, if Anderson Hernandez goes back and forth from shortstop to second base often enough, then on double plays he could just throw it to himself ... saving Luis Castillo that pesky task of covering on double plays.

Not that it would have helped in a 15-2 disaster, which was helped along by Bobby Parnell's "learning curve." Not that a curveball was called all night ... Omir. You have more than one finger, you know. Wasn't the point to help Bobby use all his pitches now that he's a starter?

I wonder how hard Billy Wagner is hoping for somebody to claim him off waivers? (Hint: Enjoy Tampa.)

Enough Money For One Lousy Beer

I hope for Alexi Panos' sake that she's not still doing "Beer Money" when she's 45 years old.

But if she is, she'll have that ace question in the hole where she'll ask the contestant du jour to name as many players who got a hit during the inning where they set a club record with ten. She could even tell them that the year was 2009. And the guesses will inevitably include luminaries such as Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, and perhaps even Ryan Church.

Heck, some would even guess Keith Hernandez before they guess Luis Castillo, Jeff Francoeur, Gary Sheffield, Omir Santos, Anderson Hernandez, Angel Pagan, Fernando Tatis, and freakin' Oliver Perez.

That's right, the largest inning of offensive juggernaution (no, it's not a word) includes those last eight names ... and yes, Oliver Perez is one of them. If you can truly cause death by paper cuts, then that's a textbook murderers row. But the record inning does not include Daniel Murphy, who made two of the three outs in that inning and should really be ashamed of himself ... because now he'll be benched for the rest of the homestand knowing Snoop.

Of course, I missed the damn inning ... partly because of just plain "stuff", but partly because I was in no rush to get back to the television after Perez gave up a bomb to Adam LaRoche to give the Braves a 4-0 lead, and I launched into some sort of song where the lyrics "I hate you Ollie" were prominent, and stormed off to go on a string of activities ... not the least important of which was dinner. What happens? They set records. The team who's about seven injuries away from me playing left field set a franchise record. I missed it. I suck.

Not that the record or the win makes me feel any better. In May I would have been reassured by Oliver Perez beating Derek Lowe ... "hey, looks like the Mets made the right choice, eh?" Now? It's only part of the cruel irony of 2009. It's like slaying the dragon ... when you're 100 games out. Because Ryan Church will leave New York at the end of the series still trying to make the playoffs, while Snoop Manuel will be trying to avoid Jeff Wilpon in the hallways.

Speaking of:

Mets manager Jerry Manuel's support system is eroding. First, his main backer, Tony Bernazard, the top aide of GM Omar Minaya, was fired. Now we're hearing that Minaya is about to be "reassigned," and John Ricco will be promoted to the GM job, an indication that the owner's son, Jeff Wilpon, wants to expand his involvement in day-to-day duties.

Oh, that's the solution to this mess ... more Wilpon. Why didn't I think of that? I feel better already. Hey when you "reassign" Minaya, can you please assign him to my apartment to slit my wrists with a plastic spoon while Alexi Panos asks me to name all the pitchers that have had a no-hitter after leaving the Mets? Thanks.

Look Out, It's Skylab!

Fans who think the sky is falling can take heart: David Wright obviously agrees.

Either that, or Alex Cora thought there were pieces of Skylab still floating around in space and wanted to warn his teammate. We're really not sure.

We're not sure of anything anymore, after the Mets showed us more comedic flair in Philadelphia as they lost again to the Phillies by a score of 4-1, thanks in part to two blown foul pops which directly led to the fourth run.

But even though the Mets are acting like a slot machine on the old strip in Vegas and paying out more than the 27 outs you get at those slots at Bellagio, and even though they're doing this at the worst possible time against good teams like the Yankees and Phillies (I think I've acquired an STD just typing that last sentence), don't you worry. Because look who's riding in on his horse on Wednesday to save the day:

Oh boy ... we're screwed.

Uniform Change

The New York Mets have announced that they have added some elements to their 2009 uniform to help combat the spread of the stomach virus that has spread from Carlos Beltran to John Maine, causing Beltran to miss much of the weekend series and Maine to leave Sunday's victory after the sixth inning. Certain members of the club helped model the changes during the latter stages of the game.





The Mets take their germs to Pittsburgh for a four game set starting Monday. Just what the Pirates need ... a virus ridden team in their ballpark. I pity the Pirates ... Aaarrrrgggghhhhh!

Gangsta Roulette

Did you have the same feeling I did when you saw the starting lineup today? Did you have the feeling that a lineup with Wilson Valdez, Angel Pagan, and Ramon Martinez vs. Josh Johnson combined with Tim Redding on the hill basically meant that your Saturday of baseball was going to be a complete waste of time? Well guess what? It was.

It's not like the regular lineup ever does anything against Johnson anyway, and players need their rest, so why the heck not? I was more disturbed at the revelation that Snoop Manuel is going to rest Gary Sheffield twice a week to keep him fresh. This means that if you Mapquest the route to the end of the 2009 season, it will inevitably take a left on Moises Alou Ave.

I was also disturbed by the image of David Wright getting ready to pinch hit in the ninth by licking his bat. Besides the fact that it's a disgusting image, I don't want to root for the first franchise in baseball history to put a player on the disabled list with tongue splinters (it will probably be listed as "fragments in the mouth muscle".)

But what I'll take away from this game was Ron Darling glowing about how special this Omir Santos run has been by saying that in five years, you're going to be wondering what the name of that guy was that had the quick start and hit the home run off Papelbon and was on fire for two months. What Darling is saying is that this run which sent Fluff Castro out of town is magical ... and that Santos will be managing a KFC franchise in five years.

Omir Plays The Lion, And The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway

Well, it was nice knowing you, Fluff.

Because really ... with all of the rumors surrounding Ramon Castro, whether it be to Seattle, or Chicago, what's the one ending to Friday's game that would seal his fate?

Of course! An Omir Santos walk-off hit!

Well, that's not entirely accurate, as Santos' place on the Mets was sealed with the dinger off of Jonathan Papelbon. But with Brian Schneider finally back from the disabled list, there was really no use for both Omir and Fluff. So Castro, who is as capable of hitting a big home run as he is pulling his hamstring boarding a plane, will indeed board a plane to Chicago. Coming to the Mets ... well, the Bisons, is pitcher Lance Broadway.

The marketing would write itself if he wasn't assigned to Buffalo ... he should have been named "Anchor" or "HSBC" or "Lake Effect Snow".

Broadway was actually a pretty good prospect with the Sox, once holding the title of third best prospect in the entire system. Where has that gotten him? Buffalo, where the Bisons are 14-32. It ain't easy being a savior, Lance. But you'll have some help as the Bisons will also have 34-year-old Emil Brown (a youth movement for Buffalo) to help as he came in a trade with San Diego. Great, more at-bats Ryan Church will never see. But the fact that Omar Minaya got more than a slice of deep dish pizza for Castro is a plus.

Luckily, things are just a bit better with the big club as they are in Dunn Tire Park (sorry Corporate Charlie ... Coca-Cola Field), where it doesn't matter who the back-up catcher is as long as Mike Pelfrey is throwing the ball the way he did against the Marlins tonight. Pelfrey? Santos? Emil Brown? I might actually sleep well tonight. Hope you will too.

The Doctor Is In

As you know, Mike Pelfrey recently saw a sports psychologist to work out an issue he's been having with balks. Unfortunately, the Wilpons' recent problems with the Bernie Madoff scandal have priced them out of a lot of the really good sports psychologists. Thus Pelfrey's options were limited going into Saturday night's start against the Red Sox. Here now, in total breach of doctor-patient confidentiality, is that session between Pelfrey and the best sports psychologist that the Wilpons' money can buy:






Pelfrey caught up with Lucy after the game ...

Later ...

*Lucy appears courtesy of Charles Schulz, and courtesy of a big Mets win. Tipperary, however, is still a long ways away.

Comical

Forgive me as I relive the Mets sweep of the Pirates by completely destroying the comic book genre:

Special thanks to the animators at Be Funky.

We Have A Winner

For those of you who had "tight quad" and "May 9th" in your "Fluff Castro Nagging Injury Pool", please see the nice lady in promotions about your prize.

Your prize, by the way, is catching gear ... you're backing up Omir Santos today. A series sweep against the Pirates is at stake, so everyone is counting on you. Make your mom proud.

Warm And Fuzzy

As long as the Mets are going to lose, they might as well lose in a way that makes Met fans more comfortable. When the Mets lose because of bad starting pitching, or a lack of hitting with runners in alleged scoring position, it's frustrating because we, as Met fans, are not used to that. We're freaking out like animals that know a storm is coming ... we're under the bed snapping at people when they're trying to give us food.

But when the Mets lose because the bullpen blows a Johan Santana start ... well, we've grown quite accustomed to that. We sleep like babies, which means we wake up screaming every two hours but again, it's comfortable and familiar like an old blanket or our softball mitt. I can deal with that. I'm used to that.

I will say that as a first guess, I had the thought of walking Cody Ross with first base open to pitch to Alfredo Amezaga. Ross is a Keebler Elf, but he's a dangerous hitter. Maybe Snoop didn't want to put too many men on base ... maybe he felt that throwing four intentional balls after throwing a bunch of unintentional balls (losing Jorge Cantu after going 1-2 on him was deadly) wasn't the best way to get J.J. Putz back on track. I don't know, but I would have thought about walking Ross.

But I can't get crazy over that because Putz made his own bed today with the walks (an alternate title to today's entry would be "Thunderstunk", but I'll save that for a later blown save ... especially after I just found out that a derivative has been used today ... boy that would have been embarrassing) and deserved to lose. But I would like to ask this of Snoop: Why in the world would you bother pinch hitting Omir Santos, your other catcher, for Fluff Castro with the bases loaded and two down in the ninth? You had Fluff in mothballs for three days, he gets two hits today, and with the bases loaded you sit him down? Wasn't Castro a guy who was considered to have enough pop in his bat where you would carry three catchers so Fluff could come off the bench? And now you're pinch hitting your other catcher for him in a situation where a base hit might only bring home one run? Then you've burned your catchers for extra innings.

It was redundant overmanaging if you ask me ... and I'm sure it was done in deference to Snoop's man-crush on Santos. But Snoop's testing the cult factor. You know that going to the well again for some bases-loaded magic so soon after Santos' grannie on Monday was tempting fate. It's like when Richie Cunningham was the hero for his basketball team one week, and then he was expected to do it again in the championship game after he became "Lucious Legs" and he missed the free throw? Remember that episode? You knew he wasn't going to be the hero two games in a row, just like you knew that Omir Santos wasn't going to get a pie in the face twice in the same series. Manuel tried to be too cute on that one.

Perhaps he offered Santos a Life Saver after the game.

***

Random fact: The Mets are now 0-2 in their last two Weather Education Days, hosted by Mr. G and WPIX. This clearly means that it's time to stop this promotion. Wanna learn about the weather? Stick your head out the window.

Instead for you kids, it'll be Mets Chant Education Day, hosted by me. Lesson one: It's Lets-Go-Mets-(pause)-Lets-Go-Mets-(pause)-Lets-Go-Mets-(pause). Not: Let's-Go-Me-ets-(clap, clap, clapclapclap)-Let's-Go-Me-ets-(clap, clap, clapclapclap)-Let's-Go-Me-ets-(clap, clap, clapclapclap).

Because it's all about the kids.

***

By the way, because I know you're all curious ... Shake Shack? Aarrgrhrghrghrgrhgrhrghrgrh (drools). Burgers are heaven on a bun. Fries are excellent, and the black and white shake is quite tasty. The line takes 25 minutes (I timed it), but hey, get there early. I myself am glad I finally had the patience to wait in line.

But here's another take on Citi Field from Steve Somers ... and modified by a commenter you all know as "Metmaster". Wonder what you think (what you are about to read is the modification):

"Listening to Steve Somers on the FAN, I have come to the same conclusion re: Citi Field. He suggests that the Mets as a team might not like their new digs. I wholeheartedly agree. Generally good for the fan experience, but a bad fit for this Mets team. It is a place for line drive, slap hitters. Whitey Herzog would love it. The Mets are big swingers and the park is a grave yard for them. A couple of Marlins, according to Somers, commented before the game that the place is beautiful, but they would not want to play 81 games there. In their mania to make it Ebbets Field II the Wilpons created a hostile theme park for their team. They will never sign another power hitting free agent. Could April have been any worse?!"

Interesting. What this means of course is that Ryan Church and Bobby Parnell will be traded for Juan Pierre so he can play right, and Willie McGee, who is only a year older than Julio Franco, will return to baseball so he can play left field. It's inevitable.

(blogger wakes up screaming)

The Cream

This is completely unacceptable. Six runs in the first inning and one the rest of the way? Dammit, same old freaking Mets. That's it. Time to clean house. Fire Manuel! Trade David Wright for Joe Crede! Trade Jose Reyes for Cutter Dykstra so we have grit! Fire Omar Minaya! Fire the Wilpons! Trade Mr. Met for Slider!!! I'VE HAD IT!!!

By now, you should have figured out that I'm, umm ... kidding. (I know I know, not funny.) And I can kid because John Maine continued his dominance of the Marlins on Monday night, and went back on track in the process. And hey, the Mets have won three of four! Joy.

Omir Santos played his third straight game and smacked a grand slam in that first inning. And we all know that even before the slam that Snoop has a man-crush on Santos. So when Brian Schneider returns from injury, the Mets have a very interesting decision to make. Will Santos go back down? Will Fluff Castro invent an injury? Will Fluff Castro have an injury invented for him? Will the Gary Sheffield experiment end? Will Fernando Martinez be traded for milk to make room on the 40 man roster? These questions and many others will be answered on the next episode of Soap.

"What? A visit to Debits Field and no mention that the scoreboard went on strike in the 4th, which only 40% of the fans noticed, since it's
misplaced?" -kjs

You're correct. And I noticed. Here's the proof:

They even made an announcement before the game that one of the amenities would be "non-operational" during the game. I didn't hear what it was, and I didn't want to know. Just would have given me one more thing to bitch about.

(Editor's note: There was a similar announcement before Monday night's game about something in the park being non-operational. Turns out it was Gary Sheffield's mitt.)