Heroics In A Vacuum

Had it meant anything, it would have been an instant classic. Then maybe somebody from Philadelphia staying in New York for the weekend would have to endure an airing of Saturday's game on SNY over the Christmas holiday as a InstaMet Classic, just like I have to endure repeats of the Phillies pasting the Mets whenever I go to Atlantic City.

Instead, we'll just have to deal with the consolation that David Wright's two home runs, the last one being the two-out, two-run top of the ninth shot to give them a 10-9 win, put him right at the team lead in dingers with Gary Sheffield. Surely, flashbulbs will be going off in the stands with every David Wright swing from here on in anticipating David taking over the club lead ... an important milestone in Met history.

Too bad Mike Pelfrey missed all of it, as after his horrible outing in which he coughed up a four run first inning lead, he changed into his running gear, left the clubhouse, ran around the Citizens Bank Park parking lot seventeen times, beat up five Phillies fans, ran up the Rocky steps, beat up the Rocky statue, ran to Geno's to pick up cheesesteaks for the team, beat up Geno, ran to the Liberty Bell, rang the bell, beat up the bell, then ran back to the clubhouse, ate all the cheesesteaks, then beat up Ken Takahashi when he found out he missed everything including Frankie's knee buckling pitch to Jayson Werth. Then he beat up Frankie Rodriguez.

Anger management is a bitch, isn't it?

In an unrelated story, Brian Schneider says he doesn't expect to return to the Mets in 2010. He came to this conclusion when he found out that his locker at Citi Field was donated to a youth baseball league, and that he had to use Jerry Seinfeld's mold infested suite to dress and store his catching gear. That, and every time he falls asleep on the team bus, he wakes up at a Motel 6 in Kansas City ... and they don't even leave the light on for him.

Oh, and the only batting helmets left for him are those Gazoo helmets that Wright doesn't use anymore. The signs don't get clearer than that.

Passing The Savings On To Bill Welke

Four saves in four days? Heck, last season's Mets couldn't get four saves in four weeks. Surprising since I fully expected J.J. Putz to get the call tonight after he got the rest on Wednesday night. So Frankie Rodriguez? Money well spent indeed as he finished off a two game sweep of the Phillies on Thursday.

But really, it's five saves in four days as Frankie not only saved four games, but he also saved Bill Welke from well deserved scorn. I mean, can someone explain to me how Jose Reyes gets obstruction called on him for being elbowed in the ribs by Shane Victorino, who went out of his way to find him like he was Mark Gastineau chasing Brian Sipe?

And I don't want to hear about how smart and crafty Shane Victorino is. He's a baseball war criminal, and needs to have one put in his ribs for that next time, whether the media agrees with it or not. And if the Mets are not allowed to read the tabloids anymore, then who cares what they say anyway ... Good Vibes! Hey, If Larry Andersen can call for Jose Reyes' head, I can call for Victorino's ribs. Would anybody else on the Phillies have tried that besides the Flyin' Hawaiian? Maybe there should be a rule put in place named after him like a certain hockey player had for him.

Welke? Awful. And that's not even taking into account the blown call on the double play earlier in the game. That Jayson Werth home run should have never happened, and Frankie probably should have never been in the game. But because Welke fell for Victorino's "crafty play" (somehow I figure that Angel Hernandez taught him everything he knows), Rodriguez had to make yet another appearance, successful though it might have been. The ironic part is that Snoop Manuel hitting Welke with the bill of his cap while arguing the play will get more attention from the commissioner's office than Victorino's elbow. Oh well, it'll be one or two less late inning Omir Santos substitutions we'll have to dissect.

Instead let's dissect good things, like four saves in four nights, Mike Pelfrey's good outing, and home runs at the new spacious home by the three players who need to get (or keep) going, Beltran, Wright, and Reyes off of Jamie Moyer, who is finally listening to what his mother most assuredly told him at some point and is acting his age. Complain if you will about no production against the bullpen, but again, the game should have never been that close.

And did I mention that Victorino needs a baseball in his ribs?

Even MacGyver Gets More Run Support

I'm starting to think that MacGyver had more to work with than Johan Santana.

I'm also starting to think that if you gave Johan a rubber band, some cellophane, and a three inch swatch of sandpaper that he could build an armored tank trained to shoot lasers at Jayson Werth.

The Mets lineup, meanwhile, seemed to go up to the plate against Chan Ho Park with rubber bands instead of bats, as they only managed one hit in six innings against him. (As the kids like to say: WTF?)

The good news, besides the Mets 1-0 win against Philly on the strength of a physical error by Pedro Feliz and a mental error by Werth (not to mention Carlos Delgado's blinding speed on the play) is that the lineup's pathetic performance against Park has bought him a few more turns in the Phillie rotation, possibly buying the Mets a couple more games in the standings as Park implodes.

But that's speculative. Hey speaking of explosions, let's see how Johan is coming with that tank:

Wow, Johan really can do it all. Very nice.

Oh, and I guess they really couldn't take Oliver Perez's musings in the dugout, as he's finally on the disabled list with patella tendinitis (it's the fanciest name they could come up with to confuse us into thinking that this is an actual injury). Jon Niese takes his place on the roster and will start on Friday instead of Ken Takahashi. If Niese does well, then perhaps you can call him "Ollie Pipp".

You Are What I Eat

So I had a barbecue chicken sandwich from Boston Market today. It was delicious. But near the end of the first half of the sandwich, I got one of those pieces of chicken cartilage that must have gotten in there mistakenly ... and I gagged some of it up. Trudged on after a delay to get hungry again, I ate the second half of the sandwich. While being happy that I didn't gag on anything else, I was looking at the loose pieces of chicken that had fallen off the sandwich at some point, and among the rubble, I found a bone. So my chicken sandwich experience had a gag job, ended good, but could have been the demise of this blogger.

Sunday's Mets game was, on paper, that chicken sandwich.

Oliver Perez was the first part of the sandwich. Then there was the two hour and fifty minute rain delay. Billy Wagner (Mr. All-Star) provided the gag job (I wonder if Oliver thought that Country Time should have battled a little bit more). And then, Fernando Tatis and Joe Smith came through with the delicious ending which had all the potential to end in an extreme choke job (the bone) that might have ended me once and for all.

(Editor's note: The above isn't a made-up, alcohol induced analogy. All references to the chicken sandwich are not purely coincidental. And names have not been changed to protect Boston Market. The story you just read is real.)

And since we had the beginnings of a scintillating discussion about the "clutchness" of Carlos Beltran two posts ago, it's worth noting that without Beltran's RBI single in the ninth to give the Mets a 2-0 lead (and pick up the un-clutch in the ninth inning David Wright in the process), Jayson Werth's home run would have been the death blow, and these New York Mets would have been toast. So all praise due to Beltran for a clutch hit which turned out to be more important than we thought. I maintain though that a cleanup hitter in his prime should be doing that slightly more often. How much better would the Mets look today of Beltran could have only delivered in, say, two other spots this season when presented the opportunity (Friday night, for example)? Just two? But Beltran deserves a world of credit, along with your praise, this afternoon.

(I would also like to re-iterate the warmth my heart received due to the throwback relief job that Smith did in winning the game while pitching the last 2 and 1/3 innings, mostly without a net. Tug McGraw would have been proud.)

Despite losing the pitching mismatch of Johan Santana vs. J.A. Happ, if Pedro Martinez can somehow pull out a victory over noted Met killer Adam Eaton (I'm resigned to the fact that it's going to have to be a 1-0 win folks), then even I can't complain about taking three out of four in Philadelphia, even if it was the hard way. Nothing comes easy anyway ... not even a chicken sandwich, apparently.

Jayson Werth Is A Gangly Freak

Oh now that's terrible, Metstradamus. Guy gets nine hits in a row, and you're just mad that the last four were against your favorite team and you took it on the chin tonight. You're an awful, awful man.

Yeah, I am. It really is just an excuse to put Jayson Werth's head on a whooping crane. It was also meant to get your attention, one way or the other. Hope it worked.

Some may say, if I may use generalities, that a blowout is better than a close loss...because a blowout is easy to forget, while a close loss sticks in your gut for a while. We know all about close losses that have stuck in the Mets gut. And in this case, one could say hey...the Phillies smacked around a guy who generally gives up a Boeing 767 full of hits (it only seemed like Brian Lawrence and the bullpen gave up the actual amount of 767 hits tonight) in a park that's very dangerous for that type of pitcher. So the temptation is to pull a Derrick Coleman and tell the world "Whoop de damn do."

But I'm going to go the other way on this one. The Phillies needed a shot in the arm coming into this series with Chase Utley coming back from injury, and they sure as heck got it. Charlie Manuel gets everyone riled up by getting thrown out in the first inning, Utley hitting a home run (that was really just a glorified pop-up, right Brett?) and the Whooping Crane getting four more hits. This was a huge shot in the arm for Philly, and it's just what they needed with three more coming up against the Mets, and their batting practice machine coming off the DL to pitch for them tomorrow night (Adam Eaton). If the Mets don't hit Adam Eaton tomorrow night, not only should they be ashamed of themselves, but the Phillies are going to be back in this race with a load of confidence tomorrow.

But more of an atrocity than the Mets not getting any offense going against J.D. Durbin with one of the two runs created by Brian Lawrence (who has probably pitched his final game as a Met this season with a certain someone firing 88 pitches with nothing earned tonight), more of an atrocity than even C.B. Bucknor antagonizing the Mets' bench (he's going to be like a whack-a-mole this series, popping up and screwing up at every base from now 'till Thursday), was Mr. Met showing up in Philadelphia and being hauled away by security for the simple crime of trying to lead the fans in song.

Seeing Mr. Met having his arms thrown behind him is akin to a war crime. (Thanks to our friends at Metsblog, you can watch the war crime here.) And if you ever needed a reason to push Mr. Met into the Mascot Hall of Fame with your vote, this was it. Because Mr. Met has not only a large ball for a head, but he has an ample supply of large balls period...because now not only has he shown up in other visiting ballparks like Baltimore and Boston, but he's shown up in Philadelphia...the belly of the beast...in full Met regalia in front of hostile Phillies fans. Have you ever seen the Phanatic take a trip to Shea to face Mets fans? I think not. I mean, who does he think he is not making road trips...Vin Scully? Yet the Phanatic is in the Mascot Hall of Fame and Mr. Met is not. It's just more evidence of the deck being stacked against Mr. Met.

You have the power to change that. You have the power of your vote. Use that power. It's your right and privilege as an American.