Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Soft Hands

Okay Carlos, I realize you probably got a good chunk of change and some free cocoa butter from Palmer to talk about your "soft hands" on defense. But you're not supposed to slather your mitt and your soft hands in cocoa butter during the game.

The new commercial says "Hands Up". Notice, Carlos, that "Hands" is plural. Both hands ... two hands go up.

Thankfully, Larry Jones also uses Palmer's. Nice throw.

But who among you isn't going to laugh their ass off the next time they see Carlos Delgado talking about the need to take runs away on defense ... sponsored by Palmer's ... after dropping out number 27 and making everybody sweat a Larry at-bat as the winning run? I challenge you. You can't do it.

And the whole Luis Castillo thing, the error followed by throwing his glove on the field at the end of the inning (is that what Omar Minaya meant by "fire"?) after it didn't cost the Mets anything not only looked familiar, but came mere minutes after a conversation I was having regarding whether Luis might have gained all that weight back that he lost going into spring training. What this means? Damned if I know. I do know that Livan Hernandez had a stellar game against a team that can't hit ... as he should.


Unser said...

Palmer's should definitely terminate its sponsorship. "Poor fielding" has to constitute good cause.

Unbeliveable how these guys never use two hands. Gold glovers, guys like Keith and Ozzie Smith, used two hands.

Schneck said...

The problem is that everyone in the bullpen got tired of hearing Ollie yap so they kicked him out. Bored, he decided to become the team practical joker, laughing hysterically as he filled Beltran's glove with cocoa butter before the 9th.

kjs said...

I think the Mets' Minister of Puerto Rican Tourism uses Palmers' to palm something else during game time. His notebook on how to strike out in the dirt is getting stickier. Pathetic "veteran" presence.

number15 said...

i'm not sure when the last time i heard a post-game interview with romon castro was, but his voice makes james earl jones sound like a prepubescent neutered micky mouse

Cosmic Charlie said...

Unser is right. Even Willie Mays used two hands.
I'm really down on Carlos after his nonchalance almost cost us the game. Last year against the Skanks he missed a slightly poor throw from Reyes that cost us a game. Lazy feet and a one hand stab is not gonna get it done. He should be reminded that he is there for his stick and he has to put extra effort into his fielding.
The psychological effect would have been huge if we would have lost. I think Luis may have stolen some Palmer's from Carlos' locker.