Thursday, August 14, 2008

It's Already A Wonderful Life

I hope that Dan Murphy never pulls a George Bailey and wonders how much better life on earth would be if he didn't exist. Not that Dan would be wondering that now, what with his .467 batting average and all that.

You see, Dan Murphy setting the Mets' world on fire has squashed any thoughts the Mets might have had in bringing Gary Sheffield and his circus to town, now that the Tigers have put him on/passed him through waivers. (And if you don't think the Mets would ever think about it, just note that people have brought it up to me. And if us commoners have talked about it, you know that a Wilpon or two has thought about it.)

But if Murphy ever thought that the world was better off without him, if he ever got down about his place on this earth, then let me give him ... and you ... a peek at what life would be like without him:
As the Mets fall further back in the playoff chase for 2008, sources say that Gary Sheffield is privately grumbling about not only playing time, but about Jerry Manuel's managing style as well. Sheffield has this to say about his time in New York:

"I'm the only winner on this team. The rest of 'em, they're losers. Either by choice, or by birth."

Sheffield was brought to New York after being put on waivers by the Detroit Tigers. The Mets, who are 15 games behind the Phillies, are dealing with the loss of Ryan Church due to injury, the slow maturation process of Fernando Martinez, and the fact that Daniel Murphy was never born.
Dan Murphy. Changing the course of history since 1985.


fredstradamus said...

If given the choice between that cry-baby, lallygagging freak, I would take a roster made up entirely of cloned Rey Ordonezes, Aaron Heilmans (or is that Heilmen?) and Matt Francos.

upstate met fan said...


You photoshop is way too good. As soon as I saw Sheff holding #18 I wanted to punch my computer... then, after actually reading the blog, I started to chuckle. Metstra, you got me good this time. And thanks to the baseball gods for the other Murph!

Judge Roughneck said...

Funny thing is, Sheff would probably be a choir boy and have a Manny-like stretch drive if the Mets brought him in and he wasn't already signed for 2009. But since he won't be singing for his supper, there's no reason to believe Bad Sheff wouldn't make his presence felt.

Demitri said...

Hey, what's with Sheffs' creepy hands?

Thankfully, another DH type player, Barry Bonds was never signed either. If he was, then we'd all be rooting for the Pottersville Mets.

Lets talk again when Murphy leads them into the playoffs. Then it truly will be a wonderful life.

katherine said...

I read somewhere today that he wants to be called Daniel, not Dan or Danny.

I am not being prissy, or correcting anybody, just saying, let's not do ANYTHING to upset him.