Sunday, September 30, 2007

All In

So, baseball gods...I see you've called my bluff.

I asked for a reason for belief. You saw that with a one hitter, raised me a benches clearing brawl as an extra sign of life...and a Phillies loss to the Nationals.

Do I call? Do I fold? Do I raise?

I'm all in, baby.

Here I go, baseball gods...all my chips are at the center of the table and I've got acey deucey going up against your jack-six. Let's turn over those cards.

Show me an ace on the ace as in Tommy Glavine.

Show me a deuce on the in two wins by the Nationals.

You give me that, there's no need for the in the river crossed by going over the Walt Whitman bridge for a one game playoff with the Phillies.

You're surprised? You're surprised that I'm all in? Why? Do you think I'm scared of you? You think I'm scared because two weeks ago I had a chip pile a mile high, and now I'm down to a handful? Well maybe as the days grew by I was discouraged...but I've pretty much lost everything. There's nothing more to lose at this point. And as you know, it's dangerous to deal cards to someone who's got nothing to lose.

Am I blinking? Not really. In fact I'm staring you baseball gods down without so much as batting an eyelash. Because really, what if I lose? What if you get three sixes and wipe me out? What do I have to be afraid of? Making you guys mad? Feeling your wrath? What more can you do to me that hasn't already been done to me?

Karma? Should I be afraid of baseball karma? Karma's a bitch, you say? Yes, I've said it too. And you know what?

F**k Karma!

What the f**k has Karma gotten me over the last two weeks? I'll tell you what it's gotten me...f***ing grief, that's what! Hell I've practically left the Yankees and Yankee fans alone this season and what has it gotten me? They've made a miraculous comeback from the dead, every rookie they have has a Yankeeography, and they're tearing down the bat at Yankee Stadium to make room for the gold plated statue of Joba Chamberlain for the fans to meet by. Make that the backdrop to my team's collapse, and you want to tell me that Karma plays this game of baseball fair? You want to tell me that Karma doesn't have aces up it's sleeve to use against me, like it did in '87? In '99? In 2000? In 2001? Game seven last year? Where exactly is the reward I get from Karma for not messing with it?

F**k Karma!!! I'm staring Karma down just like I'm staring you down, baseball gods. And if the city of Philadelphia wants to get in on the staredown then bring it on, boys and girls. I know you want nothing better than to knock us down, and I know you're beating down the doors to the castle waiting to come in and bury us once and for all. I know you're there and I'm waiting for you with my chips at the center of the table.

And Mets fans, I'm staring you down too. I'm staring you down because I want you all in with me. I want you in if you've believed all season. I want you in if you gave up somewhere along the way. I want you in if you've said that this is the last straw with this team. I want you in because I've done all three. I've felt it all. I've been to hell and back. I was at the Pendleton game. I was at the Scioscia game. I was at Game Five in 2000. Whatever you've seen, I've seen it.

Whatever you've felt, I've felt it.

Whatever you've done, I've done it.

Whatever you've thrown against the wall in anger, I've broken the wall with it.

Whatever the Mets have done to your heart, I've taken medicine for it.

And even after all that...even after Mike Stanton, Kenny Rogers, Brian Jordan, Art Howe, Terry Pendleton, Bobby Bonilla, Vince Coleman, Armando Benitez, Larry Jones, Willie Harris, Jimmy Rollins, and the rest of the rogues gallery of Mets criminals, I'm still willing to put everything on the line knowing that this team we're banking on could fold their hand and come up with the game that's going to make every bad moment in this franchise history seem like a ticker tape parade in comparison.

I know it. I embrace it. And I refuse to fear it anymore. Because according to the rest of the world, we're mongrels. They want us dead and buried once and for all.

Are you really going to turn in your cards and fold after that?

Not me.

As for you baseball gods, you're trying to get a bad beat on me, and I say bring it. There's two cards to turn over on Sunday. Maybe one card on Monday. I'm ready for whatever happens. They say never bet money that you're afraid to lose, and it's high time to stop being afraid. Here's my ace, here's my deuce. You beat it, you win. Remember that you don't have all my money yet...and a wise man once said that if you don't have my money then you are mine.

So, baseball gods...let's play some cards.


Anonymous said...

absolutely perfect

f pendleton

f scoscia

f chipper

f kenny rogers

f the yankees fans

f jimmy rollins

and f every bad break we've endured for 21 years


fellow flushing teacher

Tom Starita

JAMMQ said...

That's right, there's nothing left to lose.

Let's Go Mets . . . Let's Go Mets . . . Let's Go Mets . . . Let's Go Mets . . .

Banta said...

Perfect post.

This confusing season has suddenly all made sense. It could not have come down to anything but this.

I'm all in as well. The rest is in the hands of fate.

Unser said...

Nice writing MD. I actually read that one twice. Dig the prose my man.

I could not watch the Philly-Nats game, for fear of having a coronary, and was totally shocked when I saw the final score. Only two runs off Matt Chico . . . interesting.

Although I will honestly say I gave up Friday night, I'm in the seat next to you MD - pushing my chips to center of the table.

Glavine . . . make it work.

Here's an interesting one - do you play LoDuca or Castro today?

Anonymous said...

i'm sorry Met fans but u wasted all the runs yesterday...

Oh, too bad..

upstate met fan said...

This is the Met way isn't? They better F***king win...after all, I've used reverse psychology on my self for the past three weeks. Now I'm ready. Let's get this one.

Mike said...

Helluva post, Metstra. That was inspired . . . and inspiring.

(And I appreciate and respect your re-spelling on the photo-shopped pic. Gotta look out for Mr. Delgado . . . my candidate for its authorship.)

Anonymous said...

I love you, Metstradamus.

tommy_calzone said...

I'm with ya Damus.

Been awhile since you called out the Gods.


Anonymous said...


(just feels right after reading this post)

katherine said...

YAY, Metstradamus!!!!!
You, at least, are not a "gutless coward"!


brilliant, mr. damus.

TK said...

I'll be there today, just as I was for game 7 last year. It's do or die time. I've got my blue and orange and my best screaming voice. I hope everyone else brings it too.

John Maine was brilliant yesterday. A gutsy performance and a brawl to get the lead out as well. That seemed to light a fire and God knows this team needed a lot of that. Phillies have had fire in spades...but yesterday 2 hits? Against Chico? Hope it was just enough to suck some life out of them.

Lets go Mets!

Do or die time. May the Phillies go down in flames and the Mets triumph with a good old fashioned ass-whuppin.

katherine said...

Gutless coward that I am, I am still afraid to read the newspapers. Did anybody see a mention of the infield ground ball play, I think in the 6th, where Milledge did not initially run to first base? It seemed obvious to me on the replay that the reason he didn't run was that he had fouled the ball off his foot. But the Marlins didn't complain and Gary, Keith and Ron never picked that up and just criticized him for not running.
And another thing about Keith and Ron - HILARIOUS display of hypocrisy: two charter members of the brawling 86'ers - tsk tsk'ing over the rumble in the 5th inning.

beezermess said...

8-1....I guess the Mets and Glavine didn't listen....

Put it in the books, people...J-Roll will be the MVP....

96 hours until Rangers Hockey!!!!

Shea Jones said...


Looks like your card game came up craps and you and the Mutts drowned in the flush.

Stephen A. Smith said...

Rollins was right. said...

iam a met fam fron tommy agee, ron swaboda, cleon jones day to present great webisght god bless