No Cigar

"Oh, and P.S., Since Rex Grossman admitted that he didn't really try in that last Bears game against the Packers, and in the process cost me an extra $400, I don't think I would put any of my hate muscles in danger by pulling for the Colts on February 4th to end the Bears' season miserably. However I have no doubt that the Bears will cover the spread just to piss off anyone who would lay the points. Colts 29, Bears 24" -Metstradamus, Friday January 26th, 2007

As I was rooting for the Bears to score that garbage touchdown last night (you've screwed me for the last time, Rex Grossman) to cement my status as a two-sport soothsayer (although it was never documented, I also predicted a Florida/Ohio state matchup in last month's college championship game way back in August...you're just going to have to trust me on that one, kids) I thought it was as good a time as any to revisit my group of predictions for the 2006 baseball season, documented on April 2nd, 2006.

• The price of fame will be paid. There will be a rumor reported that will revolve around David Wright and a model. Might be true...might not. But the New York Post will be involved.

Using the Metstradamus Stableford Scoring system, I'm giving myself this one. Okay, so instead of David Wright and a model, it was Paul Lo Duca and a Long Island club, but it was the New York Post. Score one for the blogger.

• There will be an in-season acquisition for the starting rotation. It will not be Barry Zito. It will be somebody cheaper, and on a team that will fall apart during the regular season. This pitcher will come from the Bay Area. (Is that enough of a hint?)

Well there was an in-season acquisition for the starting rotation. And it wasn't Barry Zito. And he was on a team that fell apart during the regular season. It was not however, the pitcher I was thinking of. If anyone has ever confused Jason Schmidt and Oliver Perez for one another while they were walking down the street together, then I can give myself this one. Otherwise...

• I have to admit I've been intrigued by the prediction of one "the Metmaster", who sees in his own crystal ball that it will indeed be Victor Zambrano who will pitch the first Met no-hitter in history. I have to say that for a rookie, his ability to combine his knowledge of Met history with a heaping dose of irony makes him an up and coming soothsayer. Makes me proud. My prediction is, the prediction of this "the Metmaster" doesn't have a cow's chance in McDonald's.

Ding ding ding ding! (All right, that was too easy. That's like predicting that Lindsay Lohan would go to a party in 2006.)

• Pedro in 2006: 17-9, 3.52 ERA, 199 K's. Will be ever so slightly off in April.

Wrong on all counts...April was Pedro's best month, unfortunately.

• As seen in my Florida Marlins preview, the Mets will lose the season series to the AAA Marlins.

The Marlins were scrappy, winning 8 out of 19 games, but I get this one wrong.

• Same premise: I see lack of success against Milwaukee, Houston, and Los Angeles.

In a tribute to just how impressive the Mets' 2006 season was, they didn't lose a single series to anybody in the National League (the Orioles went 2-1 and the Red Sox swept the Mets in a three game series in Fenway.) The closest team to win a season series against the Mets was actually the Brewers who, along with the Cubs, Giants and Yankees, went 3-3 vs. the Mets. I get 1/3 of this one right.

• Jose Reyes will double his walk total.

Coming within one walk invokes the "close enough" rule.

• Kris Benson will not, I repeat, will not finish the season with the Orioles.

And I never, ever, took steroids...period.

• I'm not sure whether it will be because of the disabled list, or flat out retirement, but I predict that Mike Piazza will not play in his scheduled return to Shea Stadium in early August.

Piazza apparently got so pissed off at this prediction that he specifically waited until I was in the building to go yard...twice!

• Tom Glavine against the Braves in 2006? Undefeated.

A 2-1 loss to Tim Hudson squashed that one before it ever got started.

• I fearlessly predict that there will be a Jerry Seinfeld guest appearance in the Mets announce booth sometime in 2006.
• All right, that last one was a gimme...he's in the Mets booth every year. I just wanted to make sure I get at least one right.

And yet, I got that one wrong.

• My Mets walk off special: First one of the season...would you believe, Endy Chavez?

It was actually the eighth walk-off of the season. Again: with the Metstradamus Stableford Scoring System, I get this one right.

• Kaz Matsui? We're stuck with him...all season. Sometime in the ensuing offseason, there will be reports of a missing 1986 World Championship ring.

Credit to Omar Minaya for finding a sucker...er, trade partner to unload Matsui and prove me wrong. No word on the whereabouts of that 1986 ring.

• Braden Looper will have more saves against the Mets in 2006 than Armando Benitez.

The final tally was: Benitez 1, Looper 0.

• In the tradition of "The Curly Shuffle", "L.A. Woman", and "Who Let The Dogs Out", the Mets will once again adopt a song for the 2006 stretch run. The song will be not only be lame, it will be cheesy.

Oh boy...did I nail this one or what?

• Carlos Delgado in 2006: 35 HR, 107 RBI, .289 AVG., 134 K's.

Final tally: 38 HR, 114 RBI, .265 AVG., 120 K's, and one chance meeting in Philadelphia. Again, we invoke the "close enough" rule.

• I see it necessary for Filthy Sanchez to get five filthy saves this season.

I should have seen it necessary for Sanchez to order room service in Miami.

• Brian Bannister: 6-7, 4.52 ERA in 2006. He'll flirt with a no hitter for say...4 and 1/3 innings.

Five and 1/3, thank you, and in his first start no less. Bannister's season was cut short by a baserunning injury, and months later, he's traded. Bannister has already found time to be pictured in his new hat, poor bastard.

• The grand win total for the Mets? Well seeing as if I picked them for the division, it will have to be fairly high. Last season, we went with 83. This year with the improved bullpen and the juiced up (that's not funny) hitting, we'll go with...91.

Yes, I understand that this prediction paints me as the pessimist that I am since the Mets wound up winning 97. But rooting for the Mets has taught me to keep my expectations low and be pleasantly surprised, rather than enter a season with hubris and have my heart ripped out and shown to me by some light hitting shortstop that becomes Babe Ruth against Mets pitching. You too will learn one day, young Jedi.

Oh yes, you'll learn.