Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Jacket Talk

Sometimes, it's hard to recognize a great blogging moment when it hits you in the head. However, this moment for me is a slam dunk, as I am honored to be sitting here talking to Rick Peterson, the pitching coach of the New York Mets. Rick, welcome to my little blog.

RP: Thank you. Discussing baseball with you is like being in a ferris wheel while wearing electrical clamps on my earlobes.

MD: Uh, I'm not sure that's a compliment but okay.

RP: It's about as much of a compliment as being lathered in Carmex.

MD: Aaaaaaall riiiiiiiight then. Rick, everyone says that the pitching staff is undermanned with a couple of forty-plus guys at the top. What is your response to that?

RP: That's a very good question. If you take all the abacus beads in Europe and you put them in a big sack, you still have to go out and pitch, right?

MD: Umm, that's an interesting analogy. Any idea what that means?

RP: It means that age ain't nothing but a number.

MD: It...it does?

RP: Of course.

MD: All right I'll take your word for it. Speaking of age, Mike Pelfrey could be special even at a young age this season. What do you see in Pelfrey so far?

RP: You know people have to be careful with pitchers like Pelfrey. Fans always want to see TV dinners when it takes time to put together a gourmet meal.

MD: So is Mike Pelfrey a TV dinner or a gourmet meal?

RP: Teaching Mike Pelfrey is like Jane Goodall and the chimps, you have to be patient.

MD: I'm not touching that with a ten foot bamboo stick. You recently did some extra work with John Maine. What did you tell him?

RP: I told him that he has to be careful not to put ketchup on his ice cream.

MD: Is that another one of your motivational metaphors?

RP: No, kid puts Heinz 57 on Butterscotch. He's weird.

MD: Well, it doesn't matter as long as he can solidify the middle of the rotation, right?

RP: The rain with Maine falls mainly in low lying areas.

MD: What??!?

RP: Yeah, that's how the crops grow. John Maine has to make the crops grow this season.

MD: Are you by chance, hungry?

RP: Like a polar bear in Albuquerque.

MD: Never mind. Rick, are you pleased with Chan Ho Park's work so far?

RP: Chan Ho Park is working hard, but he's an enigma.

MD: Kind of like your analogies?

RP: Watching Chan Ho Park pitch is like watching those commercials for live Christian rock CD's, and they're showing shots of the crowd and there's that one really cute girl dancing in the audience that you want to have impure thoughts about. But she's like religious and stuff so you know that you're probably going to hell if you think about her in that way, but you can't help it because all you want to do is, um...all you want to do is, how should I put it...

MD: You want to put ketchup on her ice cream?

RP: What? That doesn't make sense. What was your question again?

MD: Chan Ho Park. What's the deal?

RP: Chan Ho Park is the Sidney Moncrief of Major League baseball.

MD: You have a lot of sayings. Is there one that you could take back?

RP: Oh, I see. I know what you want me to say. You want me to get into the whole "I can fix him in ten minutes" thing. Well it was a misunderstanding. Jeff Wilpon asked if I can throw together a bowl of Minute Rice for him, and I told him that truly great rice takes more than a minute. You need the right spices, the right consistency, and that I was going to fix it for him, but I was going to need at least ten minutes. Because, you see, quality is the hallmark of success and not quantity. Why have Minute Rice or TV dinners when you can have turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, more stuffing, and chocolate cream pie for dessert? And that's the message that I'm sending to our pitching staff. Go for the stuffing gentlemen...go for the stuffing.

MD: Wow, that's powerful. But with all this talk about food, how are you not 350 pounds?

RP: A pilate a day keeps the turk away.

MD: Good point. Well Rick, thank you for your time. And I speak for all Met fans when I say...well, frankly I'm quite scared to say anything at this point, but thank you.

RP: Go for the stuffing, 'Damus.

6 comments:

Unser said...

I could hear the Indian sitar music playing in the background of that interview . . .

Toasty Joe said...

This post falls into the category of "why didn't I think of that for my blog?" Metstra seems to do that to me a lot.

By the way, I think RP is right about Chan Ho being Sidney Moncrief. Great line.

Bud Selig said...

why the great love affair with Gil Hodges? I know there's the whole Brooklyn, NY Giants, Mets thing....but do his stats hold up any better than Santo, Kaat, Torre etc? Do you just want someone else besides Seaver in the Hall? Remember Carter is an Expo!

As far as voting someone in....the Hall is an exclusive club and should be kept that way. It may be the hardest club to crack in all of sports. The vet committee of about 100 Hall of Famers, writers, and broadcasters get together to see if the BBWAA missed anybody. Who better to decide who should join their club than existing Hall of Famers? They even changed the timeframe for voting to every two years on the player vote and four years on the composite (managers, umpires, and executives) to make it more exclusive. I agree with that change.

To be bitter about no one being voted in is a bit of a crock. You're not satisfied with Gwynn and Ripken? If you're waiting for Hodges, it will probably be between 5 and 10 years before he sits at the top of the list.

In the meantime, think about what a wild weekend it will be in Cooperstown in 2008 with Gossage and Rice being inducted. Two arch rivals from the 1970's and 1980's. Goose and Rice for dinner....a tasty combination.

Joe Morgan said...

I just read Heyman's pro-Hodges article on cnnsi. I don't blame Joe Morgan and the HOF members for being a bit arrogant. They deserve to be..they're Hall of Famers. I don't believe there are side deals being cut and that there is some undercurrent to keep people out. There always is some conspiracy theory about this sort of stuff.

Hodges seems to have very good numbers over a 10 season period...370 home runs..a few 100 RBI seasons. Don't know how many hits. Is it all that different from what Mattingly or Munson did over a 10 year period before injuries and death occurred? Is Heyman advocating Hodges over Santo or Kaat whose numbers may be superior and more Hall-worthy?

And by the way...the fact that he managed the 1969 Mets is irrelevant as the vote is on HIM AS A PLAYER!

Itsmetsforme said...

that is one beautiful action shot of the mullet. I think it talked to me.

Anonymous said...

Metstradamus, you are too funny.

My favorite: Chan Ho Park , Sydney Moncrief reference.

Keep on rockin.


--Frank D.