Monday, August 07, 2006

Yesterday's News

The Metstradamus crack staff has learned that Christie Brinkley, who has been on the cover of the New York Post for days on end, is suing the Post for age discrimination after she was bumped from the cover by Paul Lo Duca's wife Sonia.

"I mean, I'm on the cover for like eight weeks, and I get bumped for a 34 year old flavor of the month?" the 52 year old Brinkley said.

Brinkley, headed towards her fourth divorce, had been on the cover of the tabloid newspaper for 183 days straight before being knocked off the cover on Monday by Sonia Lo Duca, reportedly headed towards only her first divorce.

"It's frustrating" said Brinkley. "I gave those photographers ice pops during 100 degree weather for crying out loud. And this is how I get treated? If I wasn't 52 years old then who would care about this baseball wife? It's age discrimination, pure and simple. And I have every intention of reclaiming my spot on the Post front page."

(Disclaimer: This is satire...and not very good satire at that. This is not meant to be taken as fact. Please don't call the New York Post, please don't call Christie Brinkley, and please don't call Paul Lo Duca...he isn't going to talk to you.)

8 comments:

Mike said...

I already called LoDuca. He thinks you're busting on him.

He's coming to kick your ass soon as he "finishes the evening" with his new lady friend.

At least the guy's got his priorities in order.

Metstradamus said...

HA! The Post employs bloodsuckers.

Mets Beast said...

HAHA! Good post.

kyle in newport news said...

what a horrible, horrible cover.

kyle in newport news said...

UPDATE: What a horrible, horrible title and article

Unser said...

Ah, yes, the New York Post - always committed to the practice of fine, responsible journalism . . .

I forwarded this to others in my office, some of whom think you should write for the Onion.

Toasty Joe said...

It is truly amazing how Christie Brinkley has retained her bone-ability after all this time. God bless her.

Mike said...

I was thinking the same thing. Nice.