Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Good Alomar...For Now

Do you realize that if not for Sandy Alomar Jr., the Yankees might have won five straight titles?

That alone means that Sandy should never have to pay for a drink in the borough of Queens.

The other reason? He's not his brother.

Yeah, Sandy is 40 going on 105. And yeah, he'll have to compete with Ruben Sierra for the Metamucil and the Levitra. Not to mention that at the age of forty, he should know how to spell simple words like Zephyr because that's the uniform he's destined to wear if he plays baseball in 2007. But ten years ago he hit a home run off of Mariano Rivera that kept three straight from being five straight, and that's a good enough reason for me to use a major league minimum salary on him. And it makes his dad happy, which means that Sandy Alomar Sr. isn't going to fall into a deep depression which would cause him to coach third base while drunk and wave Julio Franco home from second base against Austin Kearns...so this signing has already bought the Mets one win this season. See? In Omar we trust.

Besides, bitching about old guys on the Mets is like wearing an earring. Everyone's doing it these days so who's going to notice?

***

Looking for a degree to complete your education? Looking for that graduate assistant's job to give you an edge in the real world? Have you been sent to detention so many times that no real school will want you within 50 yards of the premises?

Then Flushing University is for you.

At Flushing University (or F.U. for those of you who think syllables are pesky), you will receive one-on-one instruction from some of the best professors that the Mets world has to offer. They will challenge you, they will push you, and most of all they will make sure that you enter the real world as a prepared, well rounded Mets fan.

And if all you're looking for is an easy "A", then this guy is a pushover...students can basically do what they want in his classroom and he rarely gives homework (so that he doesn't have to waste time grading it). He gives class on Fridays, which should be your first clue that it's an easy "A"...who signs up for hard classes on Fridays anyway?

So Flushing University has something for everyone. Best of all, it only costs a click on your web browser. So visit them for a full Mets curriculum today.

And don't run in the hallways.

***

I gotta wonder...what's the big deal with this, anyway?

After all, it's just Britney being Manny.

8 comments:

jabair said...

whats the big deal with BROKE BACK BRONX?

looks like arod and jeter are "quitting each other"

jabair said...

my first day @ FU, i learn who John Coppinger is...

thanx for teh link...

G-Fafif said...

Holy Skankenfreude! It didn't even occur to me that this Sandy Alomar, Jr. was THAT Sandy Almoar, Jr.! I mean it's been a decade. But still, a lifechanging home run -- even one that changed lives for only a year -- is a lifechanging home run.

Praise Him! Cripes, we should be throwing this greatest American hero a parade. Signing anyone who beat the Yankees a playoff series is like us getting Bill Mazeroski in the expansion draft.

As for this Coppinger fellow, he's no Metstradamus.

Or is it the other way around?

Unser said...

Flushing University . . . I think I'll major in Francis Lewis Boulevard.

Mookie McFly said...

Hey Metsta, no more Subway Serial...my brother and I already had a baseball fight and we're only one week into Spring Training so he deleted it. You might want to take down the link as it now goes to some sort of porn link site with a reference to "gay Rusty Staub". It was down like a day and some perv purveyor grabbed the address. Oh well,I guess I'm starting a new blog devoid of any Yankee leanings.

By the way, I voted for Derek Bell in the poll. But in my opinion I think Britney king of looks like Mr. Mets...except not as sexy of course.

Metstradamus said...

Mook, I'm sorry to hear that. That's what happens when a Yankee fan has administrative control...he took the toys and went home.

Let me know when you come up with your new blog and it will go right up.

fredstradamus said...

Re: Britney ... I'd like to write in Jerom-E-9 Burnitz, please!

Metstradamus said...

Nah, Burnitz looks like Reuben Kincaid from the Partridge Family. (Not Mike Kindake, who you saw driving in Port Washington).