Thursday, September 28, 2006

Sound The Alarm

I tried. I really did.

You just cannot, as a fan, let a few days of lethargy ruin what has been a banner season by turning on them.

So you know what I did? I went to work.

And I put the crack staff to work to find other teams that have gone into slides after clinching their division, only to go on to great things. I was so giddy after finding examples, I went ahead and gave the Royals the '80 World Series.

I didn't have to do it, you know. I'm tired...I'm malnourished...I'm having hallucinations of Vince Coleman doing PSA's for firecracker safety. I could have bagged it last night. Truth be told, I needed a break. But nooooooo! I come to the Mets' defense with historical facts at the risk of being calm and positive. And what do I get for my flawed but intense efforts?

A big fat rotten egg, that's what I get.

Have you been watching, Willie? Have you been watching, Omar? Is it now all right to worry?

Because now, I'm worried.

Met fans across the city are worried.

And I have it on good authority that Tim Robbins is worried.

Because getting shut out by John Smoltz is one thing. Getting virtually shut out by Tim "I've been pitching so much batting practice that maybe the trade that brought me to Atlanta isn't so lopsided after all" Hudson, is quite another.

Making Oliver Perez and Heath Bell your personal hitting machines is one thing. Taking the mighty Pedro Martinez out back and playing "Deliverance: The Home Version" with him is something else entirely.

By the way, here's another question for the hierarchy in Queens: Is it now safe to tell us that Pedro's hurt?

Or is Arthur Andersen in the bullpen shredding medical records?

Really, though. Can we stop with the cloak and dagger routine with Petey? He's obviously not well. The pitches are up. The pitches are up because Pedro isn't driving right off of his calf. He's trying...the mind, however it may be wired, is willing. But the calf is just too lame. It's obvious. So in addition to some straight answers, can we get a doctor on the premises please? (And not the one who completely missed Mike DeJean's broken ankle.)

Hey, look who's sitting in the Mets lockerroom boys and girls...it's Doubt. Doubt is sitting at its locker taking every single question from reporters and responding with a shrug of the shoulders.

Meanwhile, Doubt's longtime friend Benefit is getting plastered and losing his shirt playing craps in Vegas. And the only way Benefit is coming back is when the Mets bring him back by playing some freakin' baseball...not the cheap imitation they've been bringing us lately.

12 comments:

Jaap said...

Learning Pedro is still hurt despite repeated denials is not shocking news. That the Mets have taken in a Double AA team called the Sand Gnats, now THAT is cause for fear.
But seriously, if Carlos Beltran blasts 8 homers in the postseason a la 2004, are we really going to miss Pedro's last hurrah?

Metstradamus said...

Jaap, you are wise and correct. My only hope is that the electricity of Game 1 of the NLDS recharges them.

jabair said...

dude, if i ever own a newspaper.. youre gonna be my chief editorial columnist...

elliot said...

jaap - the Savannah Sand Gnats are a single A team, NOT double A. The Binghamton Mets remain the AA affiliate of the NY Mets. It's the AAA and A levels that have changed.

ronhunt said...

I would have thought the "electricity" of Willie's ass chewing might have sparked them a bit. Nada, zip, zero. I love them dearly. Since 1962. But I've seen this before and I am having visions of dejavu all over again.

Anonymous said...

Mets have to put their #1 lineup in for a game or two to make sure they can turn it on when the games will count.

By the way, I have been to a Sand Gnats game a few years back. Savannah is a historial southern town with a water front that boasts some of the best clam chowder south of the mason dixon line. And yes they too have bugs just like the Zephrs. Maybe the Mets want to get their minor players ready for the "real bugs" when they arrive in NY - the media. Anyway, the 258 foot left field 20 foot high fence should make for some elevated home run numbers.

Unser said...

Ugh.

It's time to envision the entire post-season without Pedro. Even if he eventually gets healthy, I have no confidence that he will be effective. Our hopes now ride on the right arm of El Duque. I would even consider carrying twelve pitchers.

How about Phil Humber as our Game 1 starter? At least he cracks 90 mph on the gun.

curlygc said...

[shaking]I'm so cold. Soooo cold.

Jaap said...

elliot, my apologies, I must have been seeing double this morning...

Gary Dell'Abate said...

Don't Worry. The Mets lineup is more potent than my hot breath and green smelly teeth!

Anonymous said...

Looks like Pedro wasn't "playing possum" as was described in previous posts on this blogsite. He is really hurt and ineffective, Glavine hasn't looked great, Trachsel is Trachsel, and now the Metsies are relying on a mid-season pick-up....a former Yankee post-season great (I know that hurts) to start Game 1 or 2 of the NLDS! Could Pedro be left of the roster? In the bullpen?

The bats have gone silent and people are worried. This combined with the possibility of the Astros and their ability to get into the playoffs...and the much improved play of the Dodgers and Padres have me pretty concerned.

With that said, Metstra pointed out what the Yankees did six years ago and the Mets have a much better record in games that Pedro has not started than those in which he did.

By the way, the naysayers appear to be right about Pedro's durability. That was the big question when he was signed to a four year contract before last season...now when you need him the most....where is he.

jabair said...

hey anonymous,

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